Considering I was in my office this morning before 6 am, you’d think I’d be ready to roll with this email early, right? Apparently not. I got caught up making a few changes to the blog branding I had a dream about last night. Saying it came to me in a dream seems a little out there, but that’s kind of how it went.
I’ve been bringing the look of the blog and socials into 2022 and generally tinkering around behind the scenes for a while now. But I feel like I have found the final piece to the puzzle (along with some stuff I have happening behind the scenes). But why bother, right? I post sporadically at best; it hardly seems worth it.
Well, because I love it.
I love that it gave me this ‘job’ and life that I love. It’s shaped the way that I communicate and learn. So, it remains important and part of how I express myself. Something which I feel myself coming back to over and over again even as it stands quiet and neglected on the public side.
I know now, and trust, that it won’t always be the case. And sure, maybe there are not 100k likes or follows in my future, big brand partnerships or producing content for money. But maybe there will be space for me to find my feet again after a strange couple of years. Maybe there will be room for me to stretch what I know about myself and this thing I do there.
And yes, I am aware that this is a topic you’re probably sick to death hearing about.
Do it or don’t, you scream in the emails, do whatever you want, we’re good. But it is what mattered most to me this morning—sharing the spark of creativity, the bud of a blooming flower that marks the start of something new for me. It’s been a while since I felt free to express who I am.
Yesterday I posted the image above to my socials, and I meant it. I think we all do better and feel better when making something. Whether baking a cake, writing again for the first time in years (go Shae!) or finding new ways to do the things we’ve always done, it’s too easy in our day-to-day lives to get caught up in what we should do; the to-do list or workload.
But what if you gave yourself a moment to draw, paint, sculpt, bake, craft, write, sing or perform? To make something.
Thanks for always giving me the space; I hope you feel you are given the same room to create something too. If not, let me hold some open for you to fill. Consider this your challenge this week, find something that you can make, that you LOVE to make, and do it.
I was hoping you could find the time, I know your life is busy, but it will be worth every second. Express yourself, friend; it’s the only way to live this big, fully self-expressed life we’re going for over here. Go big or go home, right?
A little while back, I thought it would be fun to do favourite things kind of post. Feature books and products, homewares to skincare—stuff I’ve seen on the interwebs in a roundup style post. But then, from memory, it was Afterpay Day. And the very idea of sending out a post flogging stuff, even if it was for entertainment, was a no thanks.
But, some time has passed, and I’ve found more interesting things. I added an extra book and some sunscreen, an old favourite brand has a new offering, and some new-to-me products popped up. And since I feel a little better about the scale of emails in my inbox, I thought it was time. So, here they are, the many things that caught my eye on the interwebs lately; let’s do this.
12. Mr Consistent Mixers are refreshing, delicious and just as good alone or with soda water. Yum yum.
What have you discovered this month, team? I’d love to hear more about what is landing in your cart. Big or small, silly or serious, I’m sure some retail therapy has been helping us all through these weird and wonderful times. Enjoy the post, and as always, shop responsibly.
I’ve always loved the glossy pages of a magazine. Not literally, the glossy pages drive me nuts with fingerprints, but you know what I mean. Whether it was about fashion or home decor, far off adventures or food. A lot of why I wanted to be a writer when I was a child was because of magazines. Later, the ads captured my attention just as much as the stories, and it led me to university for Marketing and Advertising. Not that I ever finished that degree, but that’s another story. Haha.
As my Marie Claire was jammed into the mailbox, partially ripping the cover, again. I muttered to myself that it’s no wonder no one subscribes to magazines anymore. Which is a misdirected criticism of magazines that should be directed at the delivery service, for sure. But it got me thinking, wondering as I do.
Do they? Do you subscribe to magazines anymore?
When I restarted that forgotten Marie Claire subscription, it kick-started something in me. Since then, I added Frankie and Peppermint to my regular deliveries to make a grand total of three. As we get closer to renovating the house, more may be added to that list. But why them and not my former favourites like Vogue? It’s pretty simple. Like many magazine readers, I’m tired of the content that I ingest not being relatable. I wanted something made closer to home with stories that were relevant to me.
And so, month after month, as they arrive at my doorstep, filled with inspiration to write, to take photos and to make stuff, I smile. Because sure, I could go to their website and get a lot of the same vibes. But there is something about having that physical magazine in my hands that I love—especially the creamy, matte paper pages of modern magazines.
Ten points for being able to read with snacks. Haha.
So, I flip through the pages, soaking up the article, photos, and people and their stories. Broadening my perspective through others sharing theirs, learning to see things differently. Which has to be part of growing up and essentially staying in a small town like mine. Growing up was easy enough. But, learning to think critically and develop self-awareness and empathy for others doesn’t always come easily.
Without that widening of my interactions, it would be easy to become closed off, fixed in the ways of the people around me. Magazines (and books, too) have been a way to expand beyond what is in front of me. It could happen to you anywhere, I’m sure. Small towns cop the brunt of the stereotype. But I love my people and town, but that will never mean I have to think the same way as anyone else. That’s why I read all I can, from as many different people as I can, as often as I can. What about you?
…
The Queensland floods hit the peppermint magazine offices. Please consider supporting them in this challenging time through visiting their website, sharing their content or subscribing to the magazine; head over here to get started.
As part of the new blog plan, I decided I wanted to share a monthly favourites type posts. Not just for products and things to consume, but for small businesses, I’ve found content creators I love, and spaces that need a little more light shone on them. It may be personal (this month my brother got engaged, so that’s here!) and sometimes it’s more significant (like sharing The Great Unlearn as a resource in these times). I hope through this post, you’ll find someone or something new to love, get involved in or share. Let’s get started with my May 2020 Favourites, shall we?
Favourite Thing That Happened This Month
My baby brother is getting married! Dean proposed to his partner Emma in May, and they are planning a wedding for later in the year. An exciting time for the family as we welcome Emma and her daughter Milly to the fam; officially.
Favourite Style
Kelly Augustine is a long time favourite of mine, and her content just gets better and better. Interested in plus fashion looks and big boob realness? Start here. Always inspiring and ahead of the trend curve. A must-follow account.
Favourite Course
The Great Unlearn is, in their words, a community of everyday human beings committed to curiosity for what is possible in the world. Monthly self-paced syllabi curated by@rachel.cargle. If you are genuinely interested in learning, or in this case, unlearning what you have been taught about race, community and what is possible, start here. And if you have the means, please consider supporting this work with your money.
Favourite Thing to Watch
Now I’m just over here waiting for the next season of Never Have I Ever like a fool. This was every bit as charming and beautiful as they said it was. I can’t wait where they take this to in the next season and the upcoming season after that. Did Teen Dramas get cool or what?
Favourite Beverage
After returning from our cruise last year, I’d developed a taste for higher shelf vodka. Unable to return to the others, I sought out something more reasonably priced that I could enjoy with soda. Enter VDKA 6100, made in NZ so practically local, which I bought for the branding, of course. My new favourite vodka so much so that the collection of empties is becoming a bit of a ‘thing’.
Favourite Maker
Frocks and FrouFrou isn’t your standard expectation for this category. I know when I put in here, I was expecting to include someone who sells the stuff they make. But with May being a sort of Maker Month on the ‘gram, I was hooked on Lily’s outfits (including items she made) and had to share. People who can sew, so freaking talented, right?
Favourite Aesthetic
Finnley Home is a brand new business owned by the son of my one you fine folks. When this proud Mumma shared the page via my DMs, I was so impressed by their branding and Instagram that I added a whole new category to share in the Favourites post. Yes, the shop has heaps of great homewares that I absolutely need for my home, but that aesthetic though…
A post shared by Nerds With Vaginas (@nerdswithvaginas) on
Favourite Thing on the Internet
The Uncle Davids is the best, most heart-warming, charming thing I saw on the internet in May. Make sure if the embedded post isn’t working that you head over and scrolling through the whole album. Have your heart warmed by these fine fellows.
Favourite Blog Post
Bringing it with what the people want, Stylish Curves put together a post featuring 55+ Black-Owned Plus Size Clothing Stores for you to put your money where your mouth (Instagram post?) is. Black women have always been the rightful leaders of the body positive movement; learn more about that, support them and the ways they choose to monetise that. Support fashion from black women instead of the brands that use their ideas and profit from them.
Favourite New Find
Buon Clothing is making all your 90s teen dreams come true. Want a colour block jumper to fulfil your heart’s desire? Start here. With sizing ranging from 3XS to 8XL, they have most of us covered. Now excuse me while I go order that black/grey/white combo in the grid or should I get the pink/purple/grey? Decisions, decisions.
That was May 2020, team. What a month it was. With the world changing around us, and the growing pains that come with that, I hope this offers you some relief. And if you have a favourite you want me to check out, send them through! I want to make this a monthly post (usually delivered closer to the first of each new month focused on the month before).
If there’s one thing I’m obsessed with at the moment it’s how to take better pictures. For business, but also for pleasure. I watch YouTube tutorials, I’ve read books and PDF downloads. All on how to take better photos. When I want to know something, I go all out for it. OB-SESSED. Improving my skills is where it has been at, for me because I love capturing a moment, and for my business.
This post isn’t about the humble brag of finding a new branch of my business. It’s about what I’ve learned in the process of getting better. And I’m a long way from great, good even, but I’m learning. So, are you ready to grab some tips to improve your photography today? Easy tips that you can put into action right now and see a change.
Ready to take better photos?
For me, the biggest factor in taking better photos is WANTING the photo. Whether you’re taking it or being in it, you really have to want to be there capturing that moment. That is what you’re doing after all. Whether it be a product to be sold or a family Christmas, these are moments to be captured.
Are you the person to do it?
For a long time, I stopped taking my camera with me to places. It stayed home and there was no chance of every capturing anything. I wasn’t that into it. Then, all of a sudden, I started bringing it along again. My camera, although often left unused, at least it was there. From there, it was a case of just taking more photos, practising and slowly but surely get better. One day it just happened, I was able to take better photos.
Practice makes perfect.
I could pretty much leave this one here and call it a day. For a while, I almost did. One of THE most effective and immediate ways to improve the photos you take is to take more of them. Try it. Take your camera on an outing or set up a flat lay. Instead of snapping a handful of photos, take hundreds. Approach it as an exercise in seeing things differently. Just make sure you take lots.
You might just be surprised at what you have in there.
But practice isn’t just about firing off a million and one pictures. It’s about looking at what you did take and seeing how you could have done it better. Did you crop off someone at a wide spot or miss focus point? Great. Now you know how to do it better. Try again. Something distracting in the background or the picture is weirdly framed? No problem, work out how to avoid that next time. Learn to see it before you hit the shutter button.
Get to know your camera.
The main thing you can do to take better photos is to take some time to get to know your camera {or device}. As soon as I got my new camera, I started hunting for tutorials on YouTube to walk me through the different settings and buttons and modes. All the things. If you’re shooting with your phone, don’t stress, there is plenty out there for you too.
The more you know, the more you can do and the faster you can get. For me, at the moment, changing back from the Fujifilm to Nikon is tricky. Even though I learnt how to use a Nikon originally, I’ve been using my Fujifilm camera for a couple of years now and it’s become second nature. That’s what you’re going for. Make those settings and buttons familiar.
Focus + Angles.
While you’re taking those million and one practice photos, take the time to try different points of focus and angles. Make your photos more interesting by looking at the subject differently. Practice using your focus points to choose what to put in and out of focus. Try standing above or below something. Trying something outside the ordinary will immediately make your photos better.
Can I say, there are more ways to take a photo than you would think.
It could be about moving around so that the lighting is better from the other side. It could be that all of a sudden that plate of food looks more interesting from above or from level to the table. Consider everything, it’s the digital age there’s no such thing as wasting film {was there ever though, really?}. Keeping moving, keep shooting and remember to keep looking. Before long, you’ll be taking better photos too.
An idea or concept.
Before you snap that picture, do you know what it is you want in it? Do you have any idea what you want it to say? That might seem like a weird idea or suggestion, but taking a moment to take better photos by knowing WHY you’re taking a photo. And sure, making memories might be part of it, but why this moment? Why right now? If you know what you’re capturing, and a little bit about the why. Trust me, it will help you see the story in the image.
In the end, the images you are taking are the story. It’s up to you to find a way to convey it to those who see them. What’s happening? Who ARE these people? What matters in this moment and why did you think it was worth saving? Start to answer those questions for yourself. Start to see the moments you capture through that and you’ll take better photos. Why? Because they’ll mean something.
Pin for later?
There you go, team. My hot tips for taking better photos. Now get out there and practice, because like I said, practice is really what makes all the difference here. I’d love to see what you come up with, feel free to tag @sugercoatit on Instagram. Happy snapping!
These lists are everywhere, right? People to follow and you find the same people on it over and over again. Not much help, we all know the BIG GUNS. The ones who accumulate followers by the thousands. But what about the accounts that demonstrate good old fashion style? What about those accounts? This was a list I created to showcase the smaller accounts of bloggers who might have slipped under the radar.
Truth time, I spend a lot of time on Instagram.
Between curating my account and research for workshops or client meetings, it’s my most used app. Sometimes I land on an account that I just cannot understand how it doesn’t have a billion followers. The same can be said the other way too. Like, how!? No clue man, no clue. Anyway. In the interest in sharing the love, the insta fashion inspiration love, I made a list of accounts under 20k you NEED to follow (edit: some have since amassed more than this). These are women who share outfit and fashion inspiration from right here in Australia. I think it can be easy to get caught up in assuming our inspiration need come from overseas, it’s just not true. We have PLENTY of great stuff right here.
But wait, before we get this started, you follow my account, right? Yes, I know, it’s always about me. I like to curate my feed in a way that shares all the great stuff this blog covers, my life in captions and my everyday outfits (when you haven’t seen them a billion times, I’m an outfit repeater as we know). Now that the self-promotion moment is finished, let’s get to know some of my fashionista favourites, shall we?
Australian Plus Size Bloggers on Instagram!
Allira – @allira.potter
A self-described sassy, witchy, sister, Allira’s account shares her life, story and culture with us (generously). Not to mention the woman has some killer outfits. A recent discovery but someone who was an immediate staple in my newsfeed. Too good not to add.
Oh man, this girl. I met Liv a few years ago now, and I swear, she has the closet of every plus woman’s dreams. It’s wide, it’s varied, and it’s packed to the gills with a riot of colour, a range of brands and her signature purses. Liv has bought this joyful fun vibe to my life since she sauntered into it. And I know, if you let her into your life she’ll bring it to yours too. Plus, her travel pics are NOT to be missed #travelenvy.
This retro queen will brighten up your feed every day of the week. Hers is one of the accounts that I can’t understand how it doesn’t have a billion followers. It’s beautifully curated and Suzie’s modelling work blends seamlessly with her personal style. As an Instagram coach, it’s something to see. But that aside, you want style? She’s got it in spades.
I came across Sarah a little while ago when she followed my account. After seeing the way she put pieces together and the time she put into curating her feed, I couldn’t resist following along. A little quiet at times, this is the sort of account that pops up in your feed and changes your day one cool pic at a time.
A mother and daughter artist duo specialising and sharing their Aboriginal art, lie and relationship. They have some exciting collaborations going on at the moment so now is the perfect time to jump on board, follow their journey and support them as their reach grows. Especially if you’re into floaty dresses and making ethical clothing choices.
Oh, bless this woman’s heart I adore her. When you follow her, and you should, you’ll find out soon enough what a charming, full of light person she is. And that’s not an act, that’s her. And you can tell by the vibrant, exciting, fun way she expresses herself through style. So much fun, so much colour. Enjoy!
Another blogger who has been blogging since time began, Natalie from Extra Large as Life is a riot of colour, fan girl wonderment and keeper of multiple coloured hair. Her style is versatile and ever-changing, it’s inspiring to watch the fluid nature of it. That’s probably just a complicated way of saying that you never know what you’re going to get while you’re there. You’re going to love this sweetheart, I promise you that, every part of this girl is heart.
I met Clair at the Sunshine Coast Fashion Festival last year and her account was storming the Insta world gaining followers daily thanks to her sexy, casually confident style. Let’s just say, this gorgeous woman had me at pleather mini skirt and hasn’t let go. Plus, she wears jeans like no one’s business. Can’t argue with that.
A blog veteran (sorry lady, veteran is the only word I could think of) Lilli’s blog was one of the first Australian blogs I came across when I started blogging. That was long before fashion even came on my radar. Her quirky, personal style has been inspiring women for years with her attention to detail and ability to whip up a creation if the stores don’t come to the party with what she wants to wear. Charming AF, don’t skip Lilli.
A close friend and beauty blogger, Desiree has an interest in fashion and style from a makeup point of view. Her flat lay game is pretty darn strong and she assures me that there will be more outfits coming soon. After all, if there’s something that the makeup game needs, it’s a bit of diversity in the faces and looks we see there. Her presence as a plus-size woman in an industry notorious for being unwelcoming of difference is exciting. Plus, she’s pretty darn awesome.
THE original plus blogger, there were few bloggers before her in Australia and none that do it like her to this day. You might recognise her from her work on the City Chic blog (since 1902) but her #pinkcore fashion will find its way to your happy place and live there. Sharing her personal style and life via Insta Stories, Hayley will brighten your feed. Literally.
I’ve had the pleasure of watching Amanda develop her personal style over the past couple of years and it’s been the best! The freedom in her wardrobe, the pretty much daily outfit shares are a must-see. Think your favourite retailers combined with affordable finds from Kmart and Misguided, it’s the budget fashionista at its best.
And that’s the list, team! If you get on board and follow these rock stars, I know your Instagram experience will be better for it. Who is someone you follow that you couldn’t have Instagram without? Especially those with smaller accounts? Share them; we’d love to check them out too.
If you think blogs are great at changing your ideas about body image wait until you hear these killer body image podcasts! They are going to go head to head with that little voice of yours and kick its ass. Are you ready for that?
Let’s just say that I was a bit of a podcast newbie. I’d downloaded a few after a blog conference once but couldn’t really get into the format. It’s not my fault, I doze off when someone reads me a story. It’s a throwback thing, I’m sure. Since starting my very own podcast SUGER + INK last year with Samara of Blonde Ink, I’ve delved into the world of podcasts.
And the short version? Now, I love podcasts.
I love listening to them when I’m driving and when I’m chilling in my spa (which I do a rather lot). After a while, I went looking for women in far off spaces of the interwebs who are changing the way we think about our bodies. Plus size women preferably, but I was open to any and all sources.
What I did find was a slew (such a strange word) of interesting, exciting body-positive conversations to change your mind. It is these voices, these conversations that will change your mind, reprogram you, into thinking differently. Trust me on that. It’s changed my mind over and over again.
I started following Sarah during my last Confident You challenge after someone shared one of her quote images with me on Instagram. I’m glad I did because I’m loving her podcast too. Let Sarah talk to you about your body, the relationship to it and how you can support those around you.
I’m pretty new to this podcast but I’m loving it. It’s like, a super professional, lots of great guests, super awesome podcast. I love that we can talk about our relationship with food here and it feels safe and without judgement.
I don’t know about you, but I believe that most of us have some sort of distorted or disordered relationship with food. “They” programmed us that way. This podcast may be focused on eating disorder recovery, but for me, it’s helped me start to change my mind about my relationship with food and my body in general.
Ahhh bustle, it started on Facebook and now it’s here. I love this idea and while I’m only a couple of episodes into this podcast (I think it only has about ten episodes at the time of writing this) I’m loving it. Fun, professionally done (derrrr) and I can imagine they are going to access to some CRAZY COOL guests.
And of course, I’m loving mine! We return from our extended summer break on Monday and I can’t wait to get into the year. Last year we did topics of the week, but this season we hope to address more newsworthy items, things that come across our path in terms of our experience as plus size women and, for me mostly, the things that make us angry and a little bit ranty. Haha. So, tune in, I’d love to have you guys there too. The SoundCloud player is in my sidebar if you ever just want to listen from here.
And that’s my list!
Are you listening to a body image podcast that you love? Make sure you give it a shout out (name or link) in the comments, and I’ll check it out.
This post could have just as easily been titled, sometimes you’re just at the beach with sand in your face. It’s about letting go and holding on. It’s about knowing the difference and not knowing the difference and trying to figure it all out. It’s about choices.
As I sit in the sand, the wind is buffeting my face and beach umbrella flaps perilously behind me, I think to myself, this makes no sense at all. Why am I here, forcing a day to be perfect when it’s clearly not. Why do I do that? Over and over again. Why do I find a way to consistently dig my heels in and make situations I should let go, work?
People. Businesses. Situations. PEOPLE.
The answer I found in the sand that day was I’m an optimist. I want it to work out. I want things to be great. And in a lot of ways I want my hand in that, a legacy of sorts. But sometimes it means I’m sitting on a beach, with a face full of sand, being a stubborn ass who won’t go home in case things get better, and I miss out.
But which is worse?
Hanging in for too long or giving up too soon. I’m not sure.
I compare it to my blogs and their associated businesses. I sometimes wonder what will become of them and if they’ll even achieve the success I can picture for them. I wonder if the work I’ve put in, the time and the efforts will return in the way I have only dreamed about. I am literally on that windy beach with them right now. It’s time to decide if I wait it out and hopefully enjoy the perfect day, or if I go home and give up on my plan for now.
And it’s that with a lot of things. Life, it throws you challenges and curve balls and PEOPLE to test you, did I mention the people? And if you know me, I think you’ll guess which way I’m leaning. I’m leaning towards sticking it out. Of course, I am. A bit sand in my face, a bit of difficulty never hurt anyone. I’m team hang in there. Try something different and keep going. But sometimes we, errr I, tend to force things that aren’t working, well past the point of sticking it out. That wind on the beach, it lasted for days. In the end, when we packed our gear and went home it was the best thing to do.
Sometimes, there’s something to hold out for, a light at the end of the tunnel of giddy, dizzying success, and sometimes, you’re just at the beach with sand in your face. The tricky part is deciding which is which. Go or stay. Second chance or no. It’s like that old Kenny Rogers song says, you’ve gotta know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em. Don’t get my family started on THAT one. Trust me. Haha.
If you’ve tried everything, if you given the situation the benefit of the doubts, then it’s time to call it quits. When you can comfortably walk away and not look back (even if the weather turns) then it’s time.
What about you? Are you holding on to something you really should quit and is it time to let go? You get where I’m coming from, yes?
Living your greatness? I know what you’re thinking, how do you even do that? How in a world filled with jobs and mortgages and other more major concerns do you find a way to be who you are and live that? I’m asking. Really. I have some ideas on the subject, obviously. This post will be pretty lame otherwise. But what do you think about it? DO you think about it?
Where does your greatness lie?
One of my favourite quotes is the one in the image above. Don’t wait for the world to recognise your greatness. Live it, and let the world catch up to you. It implies that you won’t always be met with cheers or acceptance of what you want for yourself. It infers that you might find yourself somewhat alone in your endeavours, I think. It’s right, in a lot of ways you will find yourself standing alone with your big dream, your goal or your greatness in hand and there will be not a soul in the world who gets it.
But for me, that’s the exciting bit.
Not you against the world, but you selling the world on who you are and why you’re awesome. Not to convince them because you need them too, but to share your gifts with them. To say it’s ok, I know you don’t get where I’m coming from here, but I do, and I’m ok with that. To live your example of your best life and let others see it.
This little light of miiiine, I’m goin’ let it shiiiiine.
Sheesh, those school songs really stick with you. Haha. Anyway, it’s true. I am on the board of my local Women’s Health Centre; I know, I know, I’m so useful and stuff. But I bring it up as an example of living your greatness with your life, in your life and as your life. The women that operate this centre spread their arms wide to women and their families every day of the year. They do it in service; they do it for the love of it and they do it because who the heck else will? If not you, then who?
That’s the thing about living your greatness; it’s yours. It’s so personal to you that you HAVE to be the one to do it or it won’t get done. The only way is if you start doing it. Start taking those steps towards it existing every single day for you. Then take those steps until they become so ingrained in you that, like the women of the Centre, you are living it. And people, well those people will have caught up because greatness doesn’t stay hidden for long.
Where do your passions lie? Do you feel that you’re on track to living with passion and greatness? I know I’d love to hear about it if you have.
My niece, Arleigh loves the swing. The higher, the better and as the wind rushes through her hair she’ll shriek higher, higher! Then when maximum height had been achieved the swing would start to wobble. The good old speed wobbles. And as it shuddered and she held on tighter, she’d laugh and say “it’s a bit wobby”.
A bit wobby indeed kid.
It’s like that when you are out there living the life you love and something gives you a nudge, sets you off course. You find yourself off-balance, out of step… A bit wobby. So what then? How do you firm up your footing and move forward when facing challenges?
There have been some key points in my life where things got off track and I had to pull them back on. The most recent example of this is the changes to our house and the way we manage our businesses due to some epic level tax procrastination coming home to roost. We got a nudge, it almost shoved me over the edge if I’m honest, but we held firm, rode it out and have come out the other side better for it.
Believe me there was a lot of course correcting to do, new systems to put in place, new deadlines and goals. Bit by bit we developed our systems so that we were in a stronger position in the end. Ready and prepared to meet the same challenge the following year. Wobbles can be a bit like that, they show up when you’re on the fast track to something that if you’re honest, you may be a little unprepared to face.
Take some time to seek out expert opinions, grow your knowledge and learn something you didn’t know about your area of focus. If it’s business, then read a book on business, take an eCourse. Do something to increase your knowledge and expand the base where you can draw ideas from. Expand yourself, a wobble is a perfect time to grow and use that growth to steady yourself.
Talk about your problems and see what solutions people come up with. The old adage holds true, ask and you shall receive. I like to tell people about my stuff ups regularly, you’d be surprised how efficiently this provides me with the answer to correcting my gaff. It’s held true for me my entire life that when I got over myself enough to stop be embarrassed for not being perfect and ask for help, that I always receive the guidance I need. You will too.
Sometimes these challenges, the wobbly times, are the final hurdle before you get what you want.
How do you tell the difference between when it’s time to learn and when it’s time to hold tight and wait it out? The way I do it is I do a bit of a check-in. Have I done all I know to do, am I on the path I want to be on, and would someone else agree there is nothing more to be done?
If everything looks good then you are just like Arleigh on the swing. You are breaking through and the wobbles are just the final shake down to see if you’re ready. If you are, you hold tight and wait to break through.
Sounds good, right? Yeeeeesss, winning.
I know, I know, I’m the last person in the world to be using the phrase winning. Hashtag winning would be worse, though. But it is. When you get the wobbles, some people quit. They throw in the towel and walk away. It’s nice to know that it doesn’t always have to be the case. There’s always something you can be doing even when it feels like the foundation you have built your dreams on is shaky.
So get out there team, tackle the wobbly times head on and watch your life expand like you wouldn’t believe. And if all else fails next time you hit a wobbly patch, just hear my voice in your head saying, it’s a bit wobbly. I’ve got your back.
Let’s talk working harder vs. working smarter and the way I had a tendency to work hard but not smart. Long hours, lots of running around like a headless chook and a massive failure to delegate. You see by sharing my experience as the headless chook poster girl for working hard, I’m hoping I’ll share with you what I’ve since learnt about working smart. So let’s get a wriggle on.
The year was 2005 and I was property manager extraordinaire. My shoes were bad and my attitude was if you ask those closest to me even worse. Long hours at a 6 day a week job had me close to the edge. Worse than close to the edge, I was dangling over the edge. Emotional, exhausted and in desperate need of relief I had a conversation that would change my life. A conversation about who I was being.
And the sad truth of the matter was that I was being a jerk and at the same time a big sooky-la-lah. When offered alternatives to the way I was working I felt that I was being personally attacked. I would cry and find it difficult to adopt any manner of change because, let’s face it, working hard is hard work and it wears a person OUT. The person in the conversation I was in suggested something had to give. It was time to make a change.
Even I knew something had to change. OR my head was going to explode. So I took their advice, their coaching, and I started to make small changes that would soon add up to a massive shift. I’ve outlined them below because that my friend is the point of this… To work smarter rather than harder and ultimately changed my whole way of being, I did the following;
I stopped taking everything so personally. I would train myself to pretend that people were talking about someone else when they were talking about me. It made having those ‘we need to talk’ style work conversations easier for everyone involved. It wasn’t personal anymore, it was just what was being said.
When the time came to work in teams I allowed myself to be myself. Instead of trying to hide my issues with Math or cover up my goofy personality and be ‘professional and polished’ I gave myself permission to be myself. Perhaps you’re pretending to be someone you aren’t to hide something you see as a shortfall in you. Stop doing that, it takes too much effort.
Plan first, then actually follow the plan. That 15 minutes you take at the start of the day to review what you did yesterday, make a plan for what to tackle today and your impending deadlines will mean there is less last-minute ‘what the hell, I forgot all about that’ panic and you can move from task to task without dramatics. Such a win.
Take the simplest route to the end results. I’ve seen it time and time again, people will run themselves ragged fetching and scraping and sourcing something that a simple Google (or document) search would’ve turned up in a second. As questions, research before you run and you’ll find the shortcut every time.
Take your breaks. It’s a bit of a thing among business, professional type people that it’s a badge of honour to rack up millions of hours of overtime, holiday leave and to never take a sick day. But if you are working smarter, then you need to let your body and mind recharge. Working through lunch will make you slower in the afternoon. Working non-stop for a month does nothing good for you. Rest and recharge and you’ll be more effective in your role while you’re doing it. Guaranteed.
And that my friends are the steps I took, when your powers combine, that meant (MOST) of the time I’m working smarter, not harder. I know my limits now. It certainly takes something monumental to make my cry. And I enjoy my time at work, keep a clearer head and can just DEAL with things better.
Strung out isn’t a good look for anybody. Take my advice. And yes, you can apply this outside the workplace too. Just shuffle the words around a little and you’ll see big changes in your life. Smarter, not harder team, that’s the aim. Now go get some rest, you’ve got some work ahead of you!
Once on this blog I had a series called “Suger’s Rules” and the best of these was Suger’s Rules for Living*. It was a laugh and a short and sweet post about things I know to be true. Rules for living. It has certainly been a while since I’d shared anything like that, my rules for life. But then this happened…
You might as well jump I said in reply to an Instagram comment.
As I did I nodded and thought how much I keep that short and sweet saying in mind in life. The more I thought about it, the more I realised I have five simple but effective rules for living well. Quotes or ideas to live by. Some serious, some not so serious, but all remind me of the life I want to live. And in that way they have become a mantra for me. So I’m sharing them with you, in case you need them. Enjoy.
Few people my age will have missed seeing Empire Records. If you did miss it, you probably don’t know one of the key lines in the movie ‘damn the man’ and the impact it had on movie goers everywhere. For me it has been my go-to motto for when I don’t feel I’m being treated fairly, or someone is holding me back, I draw on it. Sometimes calling upon a bit of angry doesn’t hurt, it’s motivational and inspiring. Damn the man indeed.
I think the full saying is life isn’t about finding yourself, it’s about creating yourself. It’s the final piece that I love most. My life is my creation; no one else can impact my life for long. I have control, and I feel like this stands beside me and nods its head. Yes, you do lady, you’ve got this. It also reminds me in hard times that I only have me to count on to change things. I dare you not to be inspired by that. It always works for me. You know, after I’m done having a whinge.
The line that started this whole post, the Instagram comment. You might as well jump. It’s along the lines of do you ask for permission or ask for forgiveness line of thinking. For me, it’s about getting things done before I know how they will, about a little bit of faith and about leaping off the edge into the unknown. It’s all those things. Next time something happens and you have to choose whether to go ahead or stay behind, I wonder now if you’ll hear me say ‘meh, you might as well jump’ with a shrug of my shoulders.
Apart from the obvious, that you are NEVER too old for a Disney movie, this mantra for me is about me being inspired. As an adult, I started to shut down the part of me that wanted things. The dreamer in me, the whimsical and often silly side. The dreamer who loved to lay in the grass and stare at the sun. Which could explain my eye sight issues… That side of us can get lost. This is a reminder to me to just be a kid sometimes. To play, be silly, dream, laugh and sing.
An oldie but a goodie this one is for the overactive but often under productive part of my brain that likes to complicate things. Thinking too much, planning too much and always in intricate ways that made achieving what I wanted conditional upon a lot of things going right. So for me, keep it simple is about getting it done in the simplest, most direct manner and seeing what shows up on the other side.
So there they are my five rules for life. Simple but effective and especially good as I draw on them more and more. It’s easy to lose focus when you are setting about living a big exciting life. You need something to remind you what you want for yourself. Something to keep you present when you start to stray off the focus path. Words to live by, can’t beat that. Do you have a motto you live by? I’d love to hear it.
* If you’re interested in the other Suger’s Rules, just search Suger’s Rules in the search box on the blog and they will all show up. I checked. Let’s all have a chuckled at how funny I think I am, shall we. Haha.
