A little while back, I thought it would be fun to do favourite things kind of post. Feature books and products, homewares to skincare—stuff I’ve seen on the interwebs in a roundup style post. But then, from memory, it was Afterpay Day. And the very idea of sending out a post flogging stuff, even if it was for entertainment, was a no thanks.
But, some time has passed, and I’ve found more interesting things. I added an extra book and some sunscreen, an old favourite brand has a new offering, and some new-to-me products popped up. And since I feel a little better about the scale of emails in my inbox, I thought it was time. So, here they are, the many things that caught my eye on the interwebs lately; let’s do this.
12. Mr Consistent Mixers are refreshing, delicious and just as good alone or with soda water. Yum yum.
What have you discovered this month, team? I’d love to hear more about what is landing in your cart. Big or small, silly or serious, I’m sure some retail therapy has been helping us all through these weird and wonderful times. Enjoy the post, and as always, shop responsibly.
I’ve always loved the glossy pages of a magazine. Not literally, the glossy pages drive me nuts with fingerprints, but you know what I mean. Whether it was about fashion or home decor, far off adventures or food. A lot of why I wanted to be a writer when I was a child was because of magazines. Later, the ads captured my attention just as much as the stories, and it led me to university for Marketing and Advertising. Not that I ever finished that degree, but that’s another story. Haha.
As my Marie Claire was jammed into the mailbox, partially ripping the cover, again. I muttered to myself that it’s no wonder no one subscribes to magazines anymore. Which is a misdirected criticism of magazines that should be directed at the delivery service, for sure. But it got me thinking, wondering as I do.
Do they? Do you subscribe to magazines anymore?
When I restarted that forgotten Marie Claire subscription, it kick-started something in me. Since then, I added Frankie and Peppermint to my regular deliveries to make a grand total of three. As we get closer to renovating the house, more may be added to that list. But why them and not my former favourites like Vogue? It’s pretty simple. Like many magazine readers, I’m tired of the content that I ingest not being relatable. I wanted something made closer to home with stories that were relevant to me.
And so, month after month, as they arrive at my doorstep, filled with inspiration to write, to take photos and to make stuff, I smile. Because sure, I could go to their website and get a lot of the same vibes. But there is something about having that physical magazine in my hands that I love—especially the creamy, matte paper pages of modern magazines.
Ten points for being able to read with snacks. Haha.
So, I flip through the pages, soaking up the article, photos, and people and their stories. Broadening my perspective through others sharing theirs, learning to see things differently. Which has to be part of growing up and essentially staying in a small town like mine. Growing up was easy enough. But, learning to think critically and develop self-awareness and empathy for others doesn’t always come easily.
Without that widening of my interactions, it would be easy to become closed off, fixed in the ways of the people around me. Magazines (and books, too) have been a way to expand beyond what is in front of me. It could happen to you anywhere, I’m sure. Small towns cop the brunt of the stereotype. But I love my people and town, but that will never mean I have to think the same way as anyone else. That’s why I read all I can, from as many different people as I can, as often as I can. What about you?
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The Queensland floods hit the peppermint magazine offices. Please consider supporting them in this challenging time through visiting their website, sharing their content or subscribing to the magazine; head over here to get started.
Ummm, excuse me, internet, but have you heard about Lizzo’s new show? “Watch Out For The Big Grrrls” is coming, and I’m not sure we’re ready, to be honest. It’s a dance competition for a chance to win a spot on Lizzo’s World Tour.
Now, I don’t know much about dance. My experience ended when I sized out of the ‘girls’ tutus around 9 or 10. But I know that dance hasn’t been kind to women who live in large bodies—deeming us incapable, unable or unworthy in varying degrees. So to see this opportunity for big girls to dance played out in a TV show, celebrating diverse women, bodies and personalities, well, I’m excited to see it.
For me, Lizzo brings plus-size representation to music and entertainment with style and unwavering nerve. But I understand that by existing in her body, she has no choice for the most part in the society we live in. Held aloft for all to see, judge and discuss. That can’t be an easy position to be in at all. So, I appreciate her hanging herself a little further out on that limb for all of us who need representation in media. For those of us who might need a reminder to go after our dreams.
Check out all the details on Lizzo’s Instagram, eeekkk!
And since March 25th is the day after my birthday, I think Watch Out For the Big Gurrrls presented by Lizzo will be an excellent addition to my birthday week celebrations. Don’t you think? Thank goodness I already have Amazon Prime. Haha.
Ever wonder how TikToks can, as is the case with XXL Scrunchie & Co, one of my new favourites, exponentially grow their business? How can social media sell out an entire line of products in a few hours, less in the case of those with larger platforms? So what is it about these creators and businesses that makes them so relatable to their audiences? According to Austin Kleon, large audience haver himself, it’s about showing your show.
In his series of books, he goes over topics close to the creator’s heart, how to keep going, generate and produce as a creative and share your talents in a natural, authentic way. I bought the books after not one but three YouTube creators I watched referenced them in how they developed their content style and audiences. It’s simple: when you get down to it, you show your work.
I had to know more, so I bought all three books and waited patiently for them to arrive.
Two of the three were in reprint at the time, and I waited a couple of months to receive them. That should tell you something about their popularity. And so, with them finally in my hot little hands, I read them in a solid evening – all three of them. To say they are an easy read is overstating it. I breezed through them, gently folding the tiniest corners of the pages I wanted to return to.
I’ve been a creator on the internet for over a decade. These books shone a light on the habits and practices I got into as a new blogger that served me in the development of my community. I could see ways I built an audience without even considering it a strategy. Things that, while we may come to them instinctively, we may forget along the way.
Things like the entire premise of one of the books, Show Your Work.
Showing your work, or even stealing like an artist, is about documenting and taking joy in the process of creating. Taking that exploration and the discoveries you are making and share them for the world to see. It could be on a blog or YouTube channel, and it might be an Instagram account or a Twitter stream. It’s about sharing and showing the process to engage others who might share your interest or learn to do so.
And no, it’s not just about manipulating the behind-the-scenes content that some businesses put forward; it’s about discovery. The curated BTS content we see nowadays is almost as hard to swallow as the perfectly placed words of an influencer reading from a how-to succeed playbook. There is a reason we, the audience, love when you share your ups AND the downs, the wins AND the losses. We want to be part of it.
You’ve grabbed our interest, and we are coming for the ride with you.
That, my friends, is showing your work. And if you feel like you’re stuck in a rut at the moment, these three little books could be just what you’re looking for. The first book to arrive, the only one not out of print, was Keep Going: 10 Ways to Stay Creative in Good Times and Bad. As you know, the last few years that has been my struggle. I was trying to find a spark, keep it burning, and make stuff that I’m proud of and love. This book pushed me to make crappy stuff, try new things, and journal even when it was more complaining than big thoughts.
In many ways, I owe these books for the feeling of renewal I’ve felt as a creator lately. I go back to them and remind myself when I struggle or forget. And I think if you are running a business, a blog or a personal brand, they’ll do the same for you. Something about the happiness and love of creating comes through these books that energise you and will make you smile to yourself as you read. I think there’s a lot to be said for doing things to power you up, and these little books are great at that. It might just be time to reread them.
Available via Booktopia (affiliate links) below, or feel free to support your local bookseller because we love local booksellers around here.
Show Your Work: 10 Ways to Share Your Creativity and Get Discovered
Keep Going: 10 Ways to Stay Creative in Good Times and Bad
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Have you read any of the Austin Kleon books? Which would you say is your favourite, and do you find yourself recommending them to friends without even thinking about it?
If you’re following along on Instagram, you would know that I decided to set some time aside to read last weekend. My books of choice from my recent book haul were Carly Findlay’s Say Hello and her curated collection of stories Growing Up Disabled in Australia. On Saturday, after sending the super delayed Suger News, I signed off and started reading. That day I pretty much finished Growing Up Disabled before starting Say Hello the next morning.
I loved them but this isn’t a book review. No, in this post I want to acknowledge the power of telling your story. Whoever you are and whatever your life looks like. As I read through Growing Up Disabled in Australia, I was moved to laugh, cry, and be challenged by my own beliefs. Forced to in the most entertaining of ways to reconsider or change my mind. Such is the power of story-tellers and the access and platform to tell their story.
There’s so much power in telling your story.
Learning to speak up and be heard is one of the key ways I define success. Always a loud child, I had to learn the difference between making noise and speaking up. It’s difficult to speak about your needs or wants for people to hear. It’s hard to tell your story on a platform no one asked you to speak from. To own your truth and invite others to hear it, whatever the motives, is empowering.
I’ve mentioned this before; it’s why I blog and why I think everyone should have a blog or similar platform. Creating the space for yourself that doesn’t require permission from society, in general, is powerful. With some time and practice, it becomes empowering for people who are like you. They can see themselves in your story, empathise, relate. But it is just as important to those that are different from you. They get to experience life from your shoes or have their eyes opened to an experience they’d never considered.
I hope you’ll find a way to tell your story.
Whether it be through writing, art, photos, video or audible story-telling. One of the highlights of social media is that the whole world is out there, ready and somewhat willing to hear from you. Yes, accessibility is still a major concern, with access to the internet being a major disparity in this and most countries. But for the most part, especially for those of you able to access and read this, you have all the tools you need to share. Speak your truth, tell your story and do it in a way, whatever way, empowers you. We all need more of that.
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You can buy Growing Up Disabled in Australia or Say Hello from book shops – online and IRL, borrow it from the library (and ask for it if your book shop or library doesn’t have it in stock). It’s available in paperback, ebook, audiobook and large print on demand – in Australia and overseas. As always, we encourage you to support your local bookseller if you are able to do so.
If you feel like you’re under pressure from the diet industry machine to change your body in some way in the new year, think of how body image for girls must feel. New year, new who? Diet plans and ‘get healthy’ resolutions disguising less than ideal ways to treat yourself. It’s a minefield out there even now.
While we do our best to keep conversations about holiday weight, fitness resolutions and diet talk away from them (or I hope you do), they hear it. All of it. And it impacts them and the way they see their body. The choices you make and actions that you take impact them and what they grow up to believe is normal. Reasonable. Required, even.
So, with that in mind, I decided to put together a list of books for girls that will start some conversations and, hopefully, help them figure this whole thing out. I know that I found a lot of great stuff in them for myself too. So, if you’re looking for something for yourself, check out this post I pulled together for books for adults around body image.
Some of them are aimed at body image for girls in the younger audience, while others would be better for teens.
My go-to wind-down tool of choice is movies. There’s only one genre I’m not into (gore/horror) and I’ll watch anything. Earlier in the week, I thought I’d start pulling together a bit of a list of my favourite movies that move me, in some way. A lot of them leave you feeling uplifted and motivated to do SOMETHING. They’ve got energy, and I like that. And if you’re into that too, I hope you’ll find something you like. Or maybe, your favourite movie is here. Let me know in the comments.
A list of movies to leave you feeling moved, inspired, or motivated to be better.
Becoming – Michele Obama
After putting the book on my reading list in 2019, I was excited to see that Netflix was showing a documentary following Michelle on her book tour. And it’s just as good as I hoped it would be. Watch the trailer, start to feel your heart lift and tears well, the hit play and enjoy. I put this movie on this list as a source of empowerment. Empower yourself with the story of this amazing woman and the part she is playing in the world.
Pride
Easily one of the favourite movies I’ve seen this year and it was made in 2014. Based on a true story (can you tell it’s my favourite genre of movie?) Pride tells the story of the London-based gay and lesbian activists who lend their support to striking miners in 1984 Wales. I put this movie in this post because it’s great, first of all, but also because this movie is about allies. About people, very different in experience, who came together to support each other and cause change. Real, lasting change. Some critics called it naive, but I sincerely say fuck off to that. It’s got heart and I think you’ll love it.
Wild
I don’t think I’ve seen grief so powerfully told on screen as it is in Wild. Yes, this has been a favourite of mine since it came out for various reasons. But I was thinking lately how the large and complicated grief can be and how this story gives you an insight into that. In that way, it will inspire and move you because of our ability as humans to overcome. To walk the path, when we don’t want to walk it anymore, and one day get somewhere. I love that. My heart breaks for her every time but I feel rebuilt right along with her. I think that’s why I love it.
Hidden Figures
When I first rented it I watched it alone while Kel was out one night. The next day, I watched it again with him. From that moment it was fixed as a firm favourite in this house. It’s motivating and moving because it’s about excellence. Specifically, black excellence. Imagine what it was like to be part of that moment in history. To have directly impacted the way every person on this planet sees what is possible. Excellence, there’s no other word for it. I’m sure most of you will have seen this movie by now but if you haven’t, do it now. Drop everything you’re doing and watch it now. It’s joyful, energetic and I love it. I’m sure you will too.
A League of Their Own
A favourite of mine since childhood. With this movie, so began, a lifelong love affair with the sports movie genre. When people today say that politics should stay out of sports, I point them to the stories I’ve seen play out in the movies I love. The way that sports can give people a platform to communicate when the distance seems too great. The way ideas are changed, lines in the sand are shifted. It’s something. A league of their own is all of that and more when it comes to women and the fight for equality. But for me, this movie is about family, love and friendship and how friends become family when you’re trapped with them long enough. Probably on a bus. Haha.
Molly’s Game
You may be a little surprised to see this movie here. Based on the true story of Molly Bloom, Molly’s Game is a lot. Short version. Molly runs an illegal card game which lands her in a lot of hot water with a laundry list of people. But, for me and maybe you’ll see it differently, the story is about determination and potential. It’s a reminder that things happen but you decide who you will be and what you stand for. That failing is almost a necessary part of living. The critics say it’s not that deep, but maybe they don’t know what it is to have potential and no clear way to fulfil it.
Loving
I didn’t even realise when I added this movie to the list that yesterday was Loving Day! You can read more about the history in this article, which won’t ‘spoil’ the movie but will better inform you in some ways before you watch it. I’d watched the movie a while ago on an iTunes 99c rental offer and it reminded me of the freedoms I have as a white is-woman who fell in love with a white, cis-man. A matter of chance, really, I’ve always said that. Let this movie empower you to continue to support those who seek love and are only met with injustice. Who finds that their reason for existing is the cause of hardship, discrimination and violence at the hands of others.
McFarland USA
I don’t know about you, but cross-country running was basically what my teenage nightmares were made of. Running. Through the Australian bush? Ummm, no thanks. You might be surprised that this movie is here. But it is because, for me, this movie inspires community. And community is something we all have the power to build. I was waiting for this movie to come on rental or streaming services ANYWHERE for the longest time. I’d seen it once and when I went back to watch it again couldn’t get it. That’s no longer the case and it’s available on Disney+ or, from memory, for rent on iTunes. Do yourself a favour, sports fans, watch it.
And that, team, is my list of movies to motivate and move you. Maybe you agree or disagree with some of the choices? I’d love to know your thoughts (I think Molly’s Game may be a controversial choice). This post took so long to get to here because narrowing it down sucked. I’m like Dawson Leery level movie nerd at this stage. Haha. But, what I’m going to do is a whole other post with documentaries (see my first Documentaries to Watch post here). I already have a list. So, watch this space. And if you want more like this, click through to the Books, Movies, TV category to see more posts like this.
Is it just me or did the whole Teen Drama genre, whether it be show or movies, level up in the past few years? Shows like Sex Education and the new Mindy Kaling series “Never Have I Ever”. Please Netflix gods, never stop making these shows. Plus a mention for Spinning Out because we all know I love a good sports movie.
Then there are movies like The Half of It, Dumpling and To All the Boys. The limited series, Unbelievable which is heavy on the drama side of things, less on the teen, but worth a mention as it’s a gut-punch level of good.
While this isn’t a ‘what to watch’ list, The Great with Elle Fanning is A+ too. Not sure if it counts as a teen drama, per se, but I’m counting it. And it’s GOOD. What I’ve seen so far is witty and smart and challenging. I love that.
Anyway, the point of all this is to say, I can’t be the only one who thinks teen dramas have grown up a bit. Right? Not in the way that makes them irrelevant and ‘old’ to actual teens, but in the way the content, the quality of the scripting and focus on inclusion.
Compare these new offerings to shows in ‘my day’…
Movies like American Pie, Road Trip or Tom Cats, and well, maybe you see my point. There was the ilk of The Princess Diary and every Mandy Moore/Amanda Bynes/Hilary Duff movie ever made. But the whole teen genre thing was a little lacking.
Stories about teenage girls were always about boys. Sometimes they’d be having an adventure, but usually, it was all moony love story level meh. These new shows are more like the cult movies I love like Empire Records, where the characters have story, depth, problems and heart. Or Whip It, that came out when I was in my twenties and was everything I’d hoped a teen drama would be. Or had hoped movies like this would be if I could have even imagined being that cool.
I mean, no one knew what to do with Katniss (Hunger Games) when she was like, hey guys, you seem great, but I’m a little busy saving our butts for you right now. Love that girl.
So, what say you? Do you feel that teen dramas have come a long way? Or was I just watching all the wrong ones back in my day?
Are you at the start of your body positivity journey? Looking for books to help you improve your body image? You came to the right place. Seriously. This is a post I’ve meant to write for years. It’s a question that comes up time after time. Where do I start? I want to improve my body image, but where do I begin?
For me, the place to begin has always been in books. Of course, books and Google these days, but you get the point. Some of them are about the history and politics of fat activism, a place you should start if you want the roots of the modern body positivity movement. Others are more personal tellings of experience with having a body seen as different.
All of them will change your mind.
My story with body image started with blogging. For the decade that followed my entry into high school, my only goal year after year was to lose weight. Lose MORE weight. To be smaller, to fit in better, to change. Can you picture that? An entire life dedicated to something that matters very little? Maybe you can imagine it, and that’s why you’re here. Perhaps you don’t want your where you see yourself in 5 years goal to be THINNER. For me, being challenged in my thinking shifted something in me.
Even as I exercised or dieted (on this blog, I know it was a thing), I was tearing down this idea I had. A model that ignored who I am as a person and focused my attention on my body and outward appearance. But one day, the real question appeared; am I just a body or a pretty face? Is that the value I bring to this world, or am I more?
If I felt that I was more than how attractive someone else found me, why are all my efforts so focused on my outward appearance? WHY am I handing over this one life of mine to this hamster wheel? In answering that question for myself, everything changed.
Because, of course, I’m more than a body. You are too.
My value isn’t in how attractive someone finds me or how beautiful ‘they’ think I am. My worth isn’t in this body at all. And, my friend, neither is yours. So, if you came here as a way to start to change your mind about that. To improve your body image and see yourself as a whole person, you are in the right place. We begin here because maybe one day, that question will make it crystal clear for you too. And the switch will be switched. You’ll be forever changed, and bad days will be bad days. Good things, big love for yourself, will be yours.
Here it is—my list of books to read to improve your body image.
{I have used Amazon AU to link to the books listed below to easily reference them all in one place. Click the book cover, and a new window will open. However, if you can, please contact and purchase any books through your local bookshop or directly from the author. They need us to support them now more than ever.}
In the past, I’ve talked about how I improved my body image and confidence, and this dealt with ‘feedback’ on this blog. So, if you’re interested in that, head to the post. It even has a video from the Suger Coat It YouTube channel if watching is more your thing. Finally, you can run into the Confident You archives or search for the keywords that interest you in the sidebar (it will be under this post on mobile).
I know that undoing what we were conditioned to believe about ourselves takes time and work. You can’t wake up one morning and forget everything ‘they’ told you. But, that said, don’t let that get you down because the upside of that is that YOU are in control now. What you say goes. Start rebuilding your body image; start now.
So, you know I have a thing for YouTube. It beats out Netflix for the top spot in my viewing schedule. I watch all sorts of content from vlogs to gaming, tutorials to DIY and pretty much everything in between. Along the way, I’ve collected a rather substantial subscription list, and one of my favourite topics is women in business. Or women who HAVE a business and sometimes talk about it on YouTube.
Women on YouTube, basically.
But, even with my extensive and widely spread interests, I have way more male creators than female in my feed. It’s a thing, the head of YouTube even said so, and they’re encouraging women to get more involved. I’ll see you there! Haha.
Anyway, back from the sidetrack, even with my intent to curate a predominately female feed I struggle to find new channels to follow. So I was thinking, maybe you’re struggling to find some awesome female creators too. And, as is so often the case, a list was born! Here we go, I might even come back and do this again for other genres;
Women in Business that I follow on YouTube
Katnipp
Catherine, the owner of Katnipp Insullrations, runs a YouTube channel with content around how she runs her Etsy store. It’s fun and interesting to see how she goes about creating products, what happens behind the scenes and all the fluffy cute STUFF. I’m not interested in pastels or Etsy usually, but I love watching her videos which are currently coming out multiple times a week. And yes, she may have helped inspire the desire to do a studio vlog myself; coming soon (my first attempt was SO bad, haha. I’ll be back!).
Lavendaire
A lifestyle YouTuber, Aileen of Lavendaire sharing lots of content around personal development, her YouTube channel development and other lifestyle videos. I found her when Samara and I were first starting with the Podcast, and she had some great tips about improving your sound and all that jazz. I’ve since subscribed for her relaxed and easy to watch content that inspires me to look at everything things differently. Especially my to-do list!
Becki and Chris
You’ll have to ignore the Chris part of this husband and wife channel, but to be honest, Becki does 90% of the work for the content (they say so themselves), so I consider this a female-led content creator. If you know me and my aesthetic you’ll get in a SECOND why I love Becki’s videos SO much. I came across their channel via some photography tutorials, then fell in love with their interior design style. Now I’m an avid watcher of their vlogs (they have a helicopter, btw!) and never miss a video. They recently went a little viral from 10k subscribers to over 100k. Who says hard work doesn’t pay off?
Julia Trotti
An Aussie! I found an Aussie. Haha. Julia is a Sydney based photographer (love that!) who creates content around her business, photography and occasionally vlogs. I love her behind the scenes videos of her photoshoots, and the relief that hearing an Australian accent (they’re few and far between it feels like!) brings. If you’re at all interested in photography, you’ll love this channel. Julie is full of hot tips and suggestions; I know you’ll learn a lot.
Sunny Lenarduzzi
If you’re in business and want to grow it using social media, you need to start watching Sunny. I first came across this channel while looking for information on Periscope (remember THAT mess, lol). I didn’t have an account (that I knew of) on YouTube at the time so I didn’t subscribe, but even now I remember watching her straight-forward tips and practical advice. That’s a cornerstone of her content. Plus, it’s SO nice to see a female creator in this field, that is especially male-dominated. Go Sunny!
Mr Kate
Easily the sweetest lady on YouTube, Kate of Mr Kate is a Creative Weirdo who started with a blog, started making YouTube videos and has built it into a pretty massive operation. If that’s not inspiring enough, their content is impressive and often features other YouTubers (fun!) and behind the scenes peeks into how their business runs (see the first Office Goals series where they make over their offices). Love a good blogger success story, and the energy in this show is the BEST.
There you go, team. I hope you pop over to YouTube and check out these awesome women in business. I know for some of you that’s not an area of interest, but seriously, there’s so much gold to be found on these channels beside that, it’s still worth a look for you too!
You’ll love it!
And well, while you’re there, you should check me out. For a while there I was getting pretty consistent with video uploads. Made a 3 months/100 subscribers video and lost ALL of my mojo. Of cooourse. But it’s coming back. I’ve been recording stuff lately that once I get some time to edit, will be there in April. See you there!
Oh, hey, team. Look at this; it’s not a Netflix list for once, it’s a real live BOOK list. Haha. I read a quote on Pinterest (maybe it was Instagram) the other day that said that no one has time to read, some people just MAKE time. So, that’s my aim for the new year is to read more books. To read them and not just leave them lying around my house with post-it notes as bookmarks between their pages.
I’ve always been a reader.
As a child, I would spend my nights, long after lights out, reading with a small lamp in my bed. In my twenties, it was all about the Harry Potters and even Twilight (let’s face it, Bella was much cooler in the books, sorry K-Stew). And don’t even get me started on my love of the Hunger Games series. Later my favourites became business and social media based books, biographies and, try not to laugh, cookbooks.
Reading inspires me; it challenges me, and there is always something new to learn or discover in a book. That’s why I’m keen to finish more of them this year. But with that in mind, I will not complete (or keep) books that I’m not into. Life’s too short for that. I’m going to stop reading if I really can’t get into it and cut my losses. Not always the best strategy, but that’s the plan for now. In the interests of that and sharing what’s on my shelf (or what I’ve ordered) my list is below.
There you go, team! My reading list heading into the first part of the year. And yes, you’ve seen some of these before. I might have mentioned them once or twice (haha), but such is the life of someone who loves books, buys a lot of them, and never quite finishes them. Haha. This is my year; I will finish what I’ve started! So, what are you reading now or preparing to read in 2019?? All suggestions welcome.
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* The majority of these links, excluding Hello Gen Z, are linked to Amazon AU. Please feel free to request or order them from your local bookstore to support them and the industry. We all need corner book shops, help them when you can. And if someone knows of one I can order my books through (my town has no bookstores left), please let me know.
Stop reading now if you haven’t seen it and don’t want spoilers. I’ve got spoilers, loads of them, go now and save yourself. This is your last warning…
You didn’t think I’d let the new Netflix movie Sierra Burgess is a Loser go by without my comment, did you? Knowing my love of all things Netflix Originals movies, you can’t be surprised. Add in that it also stars everyone’s favourites Shannon Purser (Barb, Stranger Things) Noah Centino (Peter, To All the Boys I Loved Before) and there was no stopping me.
Add in that it had not one, but TWO fat girl storylines in it and I was sold.
And yes, there are plenty of reasons that this movie is problematic; romanticising cat-fishing, consent issues and more than a handful of questionable jokes made at the expense of minority groups. I’m not saying disregard them, at all. But there is something here for the fat girls, something that speaks to what the high school experience can be like. Let’s not throw the baby out with the bathwater. It’s worth, with eyes open and acknowledging its faults, a closer look.
Two, you say? Well yes, I absolutely consider Veronica’s mother (played by Chrissy Metz, This is Us) as having a storyline of her own. The pageant skirt sewing, rice cake pushing, fat-shaming woman who is so desperate for her beautiful daughter to live up to her potential. As long as that potential is associated with her looks.
That is a woman I’ve met before. You see them in the comments of plus fashion blogs, Facebook pages and groups. They’re the ones that say ‘I’m a bigger woman too, and she SHOULD NOT be wearing that’ or ‘Ewwww, so unflattering, hide your arms’. But despite that, and we know I have a history with those women fighting back, there was something that really drew me in about that character.
One word comes to mind; damage.
She knows how the world works. She’s lived it and experienced the prejudice that a woman of size experiences in the world. As shit as that is, it’s still the truth. Of course, she wants her daughter to be beautiful and waft through life without ever having to consider (brace herself for) the things a fat woman considers every single day.
She’s me as I watch Sierra Burgess fall for this guy, that my experience tells me, would think she’d make an awesome ‘friend’. But, you know, he’s not that into her. Veronica’s Mum is all of us when we let the way the world treats us, that cynicism, win. And not just win, but take over and set up camp there.
Veronica’s Mum is Sierra Burgess when she turns on Veronica after she sees them kissing. That need to protect yourself from the hurt that you KNOW is coming. The highly trained instinct of a fat girl to strike out first and be unforgiving. I hated that side of her character, but I recognised it too.
Which is, part of the reason this movie was actually a little uncomfortable for me to watch. Not just because I don’t think a cat-fishing scam should ever result in a win. Or because of the whole, OMG hot people can be decent/nice/smart/all the things as well as be hot sub-plot. But because the whole time my inner monologue was, this is so unrealistic. I mean, he seems like a nice guy and all, certainly collects strays as friends, but a girlfriend? Hmmm.
Sad, right?
I had to confront a whole conversation I didn’t know I had about fat girls and what they deserve. And as I sat there I realised what bullshit THAT is and wondered how long I’d been carrying that. Had I been carrying that in my relationships with people? With men? I had never considered that, but that messaging came from somewhere? Clearly high school, perhaps even before, had wormed its way in there after all.
But aside from that had I been carrying these conditioned ideas of what I deserved into my career, business and feelings around comfort, wealth and success? What if watching Sierra Burgess get the guy, get into whatever school it was she wanted into, and generally win finally shifted that for me?
What if, Sierra Burgess is a loser, is bullshit.
Because in every other way except having a perfect body, this is a pretty stand out human. Super smart, funny, a talented writer and singer, blah blah blah, etc etc. Because Sierra Burgess isn’t a loser at all; she fat. She’s a fat girl in a world that measures the worth of women by how they look.
When you get down to it the way she loses it with her parents, is something every fat teenager can relate to. The frustration that you can have ALL these things going for you, and in the end, what matters most in this world as a woman is how you look. Makes you want to scream at the unfairness of it all, doesn’t it? I know it does for me.
So, in the end, as I watched the end credits roll I realised what a ride I’d been on. Not as easy or as smooth to take as To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, but I enjoyed it just the same. In some ways, and don’t laugh at me for saying this, these Netflix Originals movies are teaching me stuff about myself.
In the end, Sierra Burgess is a Loser was a tale of THIS fat girl too. Not that I ever got the guy (not that I ever really wanted him either). Maybe, it was your story too? Could you see yourself in the characters? Did you realise something about how you see the world when watching it? Or were you distracted by Noah’s adorable smile? Haha.
