The 5 stages of achieving your goals

The 5 stages of achieving your goals

CONTENT WARNING: this post contains the phrase “holy shit” more times than was probably necessary.

This post, a post about the five stages of achieving your goals started as a tongue in cheek idea before my brother took even one step in the Kokoda Challenge on the Gold Coast. It was going to be the only post. The post that cheerily summed up our weekend. Then it turned out the challenge was a gut-wrenching roller coaster that needed an almost 3,500-word post of its own.

So what then? What happens to the post about achieving your goals? Well, it becomes a little more light and easy, more breezy and bright. It becomes post that mentions the phrase ‘holy shit’ too often. It becomes THIS post about how, when it comes down to it, there are five stages you go through when achieving your goals.

The 5 stages of achieving your goals

Stage 1: Holy shit, I’m doing this

Best described by the overwhelming feeling of wanting to exclaim loudly, WOO! Stage 1 sees you taking those very first steps, the leap or being given the push, and then you find that you do indeed have wings, and you can fly. Woohoo! You might be nervous, or a little worried but excitement will be the main feeling. Oh yes, baby, this is what life is ABOUT. Consider this your “I am a Golden God” moment. Almost Famous fans, don’t leave me hanging, that’s for you.

So what do you do? You ride that feeling, baby. You bank some extra cash; you enjoy the highs, and you prepare yourself that for most people, what goes up must come down (but probably won’t stay down, FYI).

Stage 2: Holy shit, this is sort of hard

WTF best describes stage 2. It’s that moment when you hit your first obstacle, the first MAJOR obstacle, and you realise that oh goodness you are out here on the ledge all by yourself. Eeeeek. It’s the moment in my tale about my brother that they walked through the gates of the first checkpoint, and I was like GULP. This is going to be harder than it looks. Stage 2 of achieving your goals looks a little bit like WHO THE HELL CAME UP WITH THIS PLAN?

During a stage 2 level WTF moment, reminder yourself why you are doing this. Why is it important to you to achieve this goal. It turns out YOU came up with this plan. And if it all looks like a bit much right now, start making some lists, plan the next few days or weeks of action and ride it out. Stage 2 comes and goes, but if you keep moving forward, it doesn’t last long.

Stage 3: Holy shit, I can’t do this

Abort mission! Abort, I was wrong, I take it all back, I can’t do this, never could, never will. Dear Lord why didn’t anyone tell me that it was impossible to do that thing I want to do. Stage 3, welcome. Stage 3 in the five stages of achieving your goal is all about the retreat. That moment in whatever journey you are taking when you think, nope I’m out of here. Stage 3 is when every doubt you have ever had about your abilities comes to a head.

So now what? Well, all there is to do is keeping going or quit. And sure that sounds like it is a bit simplistic but it’s not. You have to recommit to your goal, you have to tell those voices in your head to get lost, you have to stand for you having the things you want! Now. Right now. There’s no time to lose, because if you wait, the holy shit I can’t do this might just win.

Stage 4: Holy shit, maybe I can do this?

Hold the phone…! You edged through the clearing of stage 3 and all of a sudden you have a realisation that maybe, just maybe, you might make it. I looked at my brother at checkpoint 8, the way he was carrying himself, his entire energy had changed. He knew and without speaking, so did I, he was going to make it (or was he? Did you read the story yet?). Stage 4 is that moment when you are staring what you want in the eye, but now it’s time to grab it!

So how do you manage stage 4? Well, there is still work to be done, you’re not at the finish line yet. There are probably a few last stumbling blocks, challenges and road blocks (sometimes literally) in your way before you can have what you want. Stage 4 is about knowing you’ll get there no matter what and knuckling down to do the work.

Stage 5: Holy shit, I’ve done it!

Woohoo. WOOOOHOO. That moment. That sweet moment when in your hands, right in front of your face is THE very thing that you’ve dreamt about. You have your goal; you’ve achieved it and no matter how keen you are to start the process again this is no time to rush on by! Savour what you have achieved. Get excited for where you’ve come from. Take stock of everything it took to be here. You did it. Holy-freaking-shit. Well done you.

It seems idiot proof but to manage stage 5 you do need to slow down and take it all in. Don’t let your moment pass you by. Standing at the finish line, the burn of the morning sun on the top of my eye, stinging my weary eyes, I took a few deep breaths and just exhaled. That was the moment. We’d done it. That’s how you do stage 5.

There you go folks, no matter where you are on the road to achieving your goals, no matter how many times you’ve been back and forward, sooner or later if you keep on, you’ll have your stage five moment! Promise. Speaking of which? Done anything cool lately? Photos and links welcome in the comments. 😉

{Kodoka} Challenge Accepted

{Kodoka} Challenge Accepted

To say I was unprepared for what I would face as part of the support crew for my brother Dean’s attempt at completing the Kokoda Challenge on the Gold Coast this weekend would be an understatement. I sit here, laptop open and ready to report back on the whole thing, and that’s the thought that hangs most vividly in my mind.

Unprepared. Like a word of the day.

Not unprepared in that I hadn’t read the information packs or studied the maps. Not unprepared in that we didn’t have a car full of supplies and some description of a strategy to deploy them. We were packed, prepared and ready to roll. That wasn’t it at all.

I was completely unprepared in the sense that I was about to charge head on into challenge that would push me through almost 30 hours of problem-solving and preparation. My fellow support crew Shell and Ursula would agree, we had no idea what it would take for us to pull this off when we started. We just knew that we needed to. I’d packed books for goodness sake, expecting extended periods of downtime and the mental space to relax. HA! As if.

I was wrong. And let me tell you why.

Challenge Day

The house where we all stayed for the duration of the weekend was buzzing with activity before 5 am on Saturday morning. Due at the start line, before 7 am, the boys were making final preparations, lacing up their shoes and getting ready to tackle this thing. The morning was cold and spirits were high. We were sure in those moments that what was to come was going to be challenging and with metres and metres of strapping tape applied they were ready.

The first time we saw them after that was at checkpoint 4. The first assisted checkpoint and not long after the first of the Big 5. Something that our guys scoff at “Big Five get lost, Big Ten more like it” they would say. They looked good, already sore but strong. And Dean? Dean was struggling to keep pace, digging quickly into his reserves and he was already managing some issues with his quads. He struggled to eat, managing only half a sandwich and some banana between the flurry of activity to change socks, check strapping and refill water.

We had our first taste of what the assisted checkpoints would be like.

As they prepared to leave, I snapped that if they wanted to finish as a team of four, they needed to back off the pace a bit and look out for each other. I was angry, worried about my brother, and it had started to dawn on me what they had gotten themselves into. I tried to use whatever Jedi mind control tricks I had to let them know that they needed to look after my brother or die.

But I had judged them too harshly. They were as committed to getting all four of them across the line. They proved that commitment time and time again as it went on. And let me tell you, there were plenty of teams that left checkpoint 4 without all their members. Forgetting perhaps that this challenge is supposed to be about mateship as much as it’s about endurance and personal challenge. My brother’s team, The Gympie Avengers, they didn’t forget. And Dean rewarded them for their care of him by showing up time and time again as his body fought him to stop.

The “you look so bad” checkpoint

By checkpoint 6, the next assisted stop, Dean looked terrible. Freaking terrible. White as a ghost, shaky and like he might just throw up at any time. We went into checkpoint mode and I got him sorted out for the road ahead. Change of socks, shoes, more rub, long skins, layers. Plus more magnesium, an e-shot, anti-inflammatories and another two bottles of Gatorade. He ate at this stop. A little. But the girls and I all worried that it wasn’t enough. I made them carry another Gatorade with them for him to drink. He had to get some more fuel in.

Looking around the other boys were showing signs of wear and tear. Jason had been developing a blister on the ball of his foot, and it was growing. Blister pads and more strapping were required. Ursula was attending to him while simultaneously serving stew for all the boys. It was cold already and the night wasn’t far away. Doug pointed out a small developing blister on the back of his ankle to Shell which would later become massive despite further strapping. While Harry rubbed a menthol horse cream into his muscles all the way down to his feet.

They’re just so sore, he said.

They had two of the majors left to climb. Three down, two to go was the only thing Dean said that meant he would go on. A wry smile and a weak chuckle. As I filled his pack with snacks and water, I looked over at Dean and took stock of him. It looked bad and the pressure of preparing to send him out again built. They were aiming for a 20-minute stop, determined not to let their muscles cool down too much or get too used to sitting. They prepared to leave, and Dean stood up, bracing himself against the chair as his legs shook, and they left.

They were only a few cars away when the other girls commented on how terrible he looked. I agreed, worried and sick to the stomach at the thought of the climb, the night ahead. I fought back tears, and we started loading the back of the ute, preparing to vacate the limited space there was at this checkpoint for other teams to come. The cold of the evening was sweeping in quickly and before long we were on the road. In the first of the darkness, I cried for my brother in the back seat while we made the 45 minutes drive back to our base.

In the darkness, I counted him out a couple of times. After he had left with the same ashen skin tone as he arrived, muscles cramping and sore, steps unsure and shaking I swore we’d be going in to collect him from first aid. Joking when I saw a Westpac helicopter that they were probably sending it out for him, I was sick to the stomach at the thought. I hoped that he would finish, but I knew that the reality was his body was fighting him hard every step of the way.

The rally

Back at the base, I returned a call to my Mum, packed up the items for the night shift, and prepared myself for whatever might come. He was determined, I knew that I could be determined to. I would make him fight me to let him drop out. I would remind him over and over why he could do this. The distance he could do. The hills would end. The pain would go away. I rallied myself to do everything in my power to keep him in this challenge.

But I also prepared myself and those supporting from home for the possibility that he wouldn’t make it. A remote possibility but one that up until that moment I hadn’t even considered, so I knew they wouldn’t have either. We braced ourselves.

Then Ursula called from the lounge room to say that they had checked into checkpoint 7. Already! Already? They were moving ridiculously fast for the terrain they were covering. I showered, we put the last of the things in the car and hit the road towards checkpoint 8. Thinking we had over 2 hours wait ahead of us we swung through a drive-thru for coffee, skipping food we were too nervous to eat and grabbing yoghurt for the morning checkpoint.

As we drove up a massive mountain range, winding further and further up into the hinterland, we marvelled at the height of it and the impressive views of the city. As we continued to ascend, the conversation stopped as the realisation dawned that they were probably climbing this.

We came up on the checkpoint only to be told the road we had arrived at was not 8, but 9 and that checkpoint 8 was 6km ahead of us on the right. Stupid GPS, we said making the turn towards 8 when my phone rang. An unknown number flashed on the screen, and I was sick with worry. Something had happened to Dean. I was sure of it. Oh god. This was bad.

Hello, this is Melissa, I said as I answered. Melissa, it’s Dean, his voice came strongly down the line, where are you guys? On our way to Checkpoint 8, I said. And then he said the words I was relieved and yet equally sickened to hear, we’re already here! Ohhh shit. I assured him that we were less than 6km away, we’d be right there, hang tight.

Hanging up I was ecstatic. He sounds good, I said to the girls, really good, chipper even. And OMG what time are they even doing? I was so excited that he was going to make it. He was absolutely going to make it. I could’ve leapt out of the car and ran the 6km to the checkpoint I was so excited to see him. The other girls were a little more anxious. It was cold out, we didn’t know how long they’d been there and if they’d been searching. We’d met them at the gate every time so far, had they been searching the rows looking for us?

Shit.

We started making a plan for as soon as we had arrived. Chairs out, boxes on the ground, find out if they wanted hot soup or if they’d rather not wait. Action plan in place we swung into the driveway of the field that was checkpoint 8. Parked in the next available space, as we threw the car doors open, the freezing night air greeted us.

It’s so god damned cold up here, I thought, the boys are going to kill us. But I was elated. I talked non-stop excitedly. I was so happy to see them doing so well. We each did our jobs, and the boys were in their chairs, tending their feet before I knew it. Blankets on their shoulders and legs, we prepared them for the coldest part of the night yet to come.

You could see the soreness and fatigue in them at this stop. In all of them and they were all dealing with in different ways. Some quiet, some a little snappy and short but all charming with their gratitude. I’ll tell you one thing, those boys never once forgot their manners always please and thank you. Real character that is, genuine character.

They passed along the menthol horse cream, the strapping tape, and supplies from chair to chair. Knowing now what needed to be done to prepare for the next leg. They ate snacks instead of a meal, something that we regretted come checkpoint 11, but they were determined to get moving. So we let them.

By this stage, I was sure they were going to make it. It may have been optimistic; there was still over 30kms to go, another mega mountain, some major climbing and the long, dark night ahead. I’m sure that occurred to them more than it did me, but all I could see was the finish line. And at this rate, at the pace they were setting, holy shit, they could be done and across the finish line before 3 am.

After the shortest assisted checkpoint in the history of mankind (probably, not, but for us) they were on their way, and spirits were high; Determination was even higher. We threw everything back into the ute, a seamless operation now, and set our sights on checkpoint 11. Eleven is the final assisted checkpoint before we would see the boys at the finish line. A larger area to accommodate more cars, there was no time limit for teams regarding how long they could stay, so our plan was to get there, set up stumps and wait.

And let’s face it, after being called the ‘worst support team ever’ by an unhelpful SES woman after showing up after our team at 8, we weren’t going to let THAT happen again.

The final hours

We were there for hours, ready and waiting before the checkpoint tracker showed that the boys had passed checkpoint 9. It was 11:27 pm. I remember that because at that point, worried about their progress, we had made ourselves wait for at least 10 minutes before refreshing the page for a new update. This game had continued since just after 10 pm. Their pace had slowed down hugely. We prepared ourselves for another few hours to wait. Unable to sleep we chatted and laughed and drew penises on the glass as the windows continued to fog up in the cold. We heated and reheated the soup making sure it was ready to go.

We decided that after 12:30 am we would go to the main gate to wait for them. It was just after 12 when I declared that I couldn’t wait any longer. It was optimistic to think they’d be here within an hour when the pace was slowing, but we grabbed hot chocolates on our way through and waited. Chatting to other support crews and shivering in the cold of the night we cheered many teams into the checkpoint watching and waiting for our guys.

During one of those million toilet stops I washed my cold hands, flicked them to dry and my rings flung off my hand into the dirt and darkness beyond the spotlights of the checkpoint. My wedding band, engagement ring and the 30th birthday gift from my parents. SHIT. Double shit. What the actual f-bomb shit. I started madly searching for them and found the first in the dirt not far from where I’d been walking. Following that line, I started looking for the others attempting to turn on the torch on my phone.

Side note; cold fingers and an even colder iPhone makes it an impossible task to swipe. FYI. Put that in the research and development notes team. Wink wink Apple! 

Luckily, some others came to help me and soon we found my wedding ring too. Two out of three ain’t bad, right? But then I got into a conversation with a guy who had just come through the checkpoint. He offered to help us look using his headlamp. Goodness no, I said, we’ll be fine here. Imagine that? 96km challenge and just stopping for a wee bit to help me find my rings! Some people are too generous. Luckily I didn’t have to convince him for long because miracles of miracles, my engagement ring was FOUND! Woooo.

And after all that excitement I returned to the gate to wait with the girls. They were a little annoyed that I hadn’t called them over to join the hunt, any distraction at that point would have been welcomed. The time was still passing. Slower than ever. It was after 1 am and we were worried. Maybe they’d gone too hard the stage before? Maybe something had happened? Where the hell WERE THEY?

We watched the path like hawks, spotting torches off into the distance and counting the number. 5 for school teams. 4 or less for other teams. We needed four. Then as they drew closer, we looked for yellow hi-vis vests. Other teams wore orange or green; some wore none. We needed three yellow and one yellow and orange. We counted torches and spotted vests until finally, they came in around 2 am.

Short version, they were exhausted.

They passed the official checkpoint and after hugs, Ursula and Shell dashed off down the hill the lay out the chairs, blankets and heated the soup (again). Dean was shuffling, dragging his feet and moving slowly. The other guys stepped gingerly, the descent into the field where we were parked drawing groans. Downhill used to be our friends, they said, now it’s the worst.

I stayed with them as we made our way slowly to the car. On the journey down people who were waiting were cheering and clapping them the entire way. Telling them to keep going. That they were doing so well. I did the same thing proud of what they’d achieved so far. There was 18.6km to go, and they had done all of the major climbs. It was the home stretch.

They spent a little longer at 11 than at other checkpoints, but still less than 40 minutes. A finely tuned machine now we fed, watered, packed and vitamin’ed them up. They changed into some fresh layers and as always, some fresh socks and rugged up against the incoming dawn. We insisted. They ate hot soup and for the first time since dinner the night before Dean finished his bowl.

He was shaky on his legs and relying heavily on his hiking poles, but he was mentally tough. I knew no matter how long it might take them; he was coming across that finish line. As he went to leave, I snapped the top strap of his camel pack, gave him a hug and wished him luck while mentally giving a huge sigh of relief. Our work was done. It was up to them now.

With the 3 am finish time estimate pushed out to 5 or 5:30 am. We told them that we would see them soon. Stay warm, keep going, heads down. Spirits were high as they left the checkpoint, a fully charged phone in hand with plans to pump some music to keep them going. I turned around and left them on their way as they sang highway to hell after a suggestion for songs to play. They were in good spirits.

Later we would find out that they walked straight out of our line of sight and into a steep incline that almost broke them. Back at the finish line, we had no idea that they were now facing their toughest challenge. The final climb. The home stretch indeed. Can you even imagine what it takes to rally once again yourself when facing something like that? No. Me either.

Meanwhile, we waited. Given the expected timeframe we went to the finish line to wait. And wait we did. And waited. Expecting them to check-in within an hour or two (given the pace) we watched the time tick over until finally at 5 am they arrived at checkpoint 12 on the tracker. It was over 3 hours since they left us at checkpoint 11.

We worried about them a lot then. Not that they wouldn’t finish, I was convinced that this close to the end it would be easier to finish than to turn back and get airlifted out. Later I found out Dean had thought the same thing. But we worried about what was going on for them. They had 8km to go. One checkpoint without tracker information for us to check. We wanted to make sure that if they had a second (fifth?) wind that we were there for the finish. So with that in mind, we waited.

Mum and Dad had been staying nearby and joined us in the supporter waiting area as the sun peeked over the horizon. It was morning. We saw teams finishing, most incomplete, lots finishing the shorter 48km trek. We shed a few tears as competitors crossed the line and burst into tears, the relief and achievement showing on their faces. And we waited for our boys. Their goal had always been 24 hours. They’d wanted it so badly.

As the minutes ticked down to 7 am Ursula decided to give them a call. Were they close? Could they push through and beat the clock ticking over into the 24th hour? They could see a checkpoint in the distance, but it was checkpoint 13. They had 4km to go. They were doing ok. Exhausted and moving slowly, but they were coming. Not by 7 am though. So we waited.

As we passed 7 am we started to watch the teams coming in with the same details we had the night before. We were looking for four guys. Probably wearing yellow hi-vis, maybe grey shirts. As the groups streamed in it became more and more likely our guys were next. I looked at Ursula and Michelle, and we exchanged more than one worried smile. It was easy to get caught up in the excitement of the finish line and forget all the work that had gone into being here. We wouldn’t though, we’d seen it first hand. We knew the moment they stepped over the finish line they would know themselves to be extraordinary. And that we’d played our part in that.

Michelle’s family joined us, her three boys excited to see Dad again after the separation. We spotted a team or two we were convinced were them until it wasn’t. Then there they were. Rounding the corner, stepping out of the bushland towards us. Our guys, all four of them, team intact and still very much in the 24th four. We cheered loudly, and they gave us a weary wave, the kids called out to their Dad as we watched them step together onto the finish line. Triumphant. Exhausted. Superhuman. And just a little bit grey. They collected their medals, stopped for a team photo and were keen to find out where the checkpoint chairs were. No chairs we said, just the car, let’s go home. There were hugs and congratulations, thank-yous and relief. They’d made it. They’d done it.

What I know now

And like I said in the beginning, I was unprepared. I joked with Dean in the days prior that I’d constructed the bones for a post about achieving your goals. Five Steps for Achieving Your Goals, all with witty headings and ‘holy shit’ based headers. Which may or may not end up written now, we’ll see. You better make it I said, I need a big finish for my post. Haha. No pressure, he replied. As I said, I had no idea.

I had no idea when I packed my bags Friday night that over 50% of competitors that start the Kokoda Challenge don’t finish. Or that of those finishing only 20% do it with their team intact. It’s hard, it’s not a walk in the park. Even though let’s face it, 96km in 24 hours walking in a park is a feat in itself. But 96km through the night, that’s worse. Add to that, 96 kms up hills, and mountains and ranges and back down again is brutal.

It’s bad, I’ve tried to tell anyone I can since I got back, it’s really bad. And until you do it you have no idea. I stood by and watched. I was offered a sneak peek behind the curtain, and I came out the other side impressed, proud, filled up and inspired. I also came out a little in need of a nap, as you do.

I said unprepared was the word of the weekend, right? I was most unprepared for watching someone I love suffer, push and rally as my brother did. That is something I’ll never forget. The determination to finish this challenge, the fight he showed, it was awe-inspiring.

While he feels he relied heavily on his team to pull him through (he did and they did. They 100% did) I’m sure he inspired them too. He was so mentally tough. He was making it, even in the moments when his entire body was screaming for him to stop, and no one would’ve batted an eyelid if he did, he didn’t. One step at a time. One ledge in the climb. One checkpoint and rest stop at a time. It was a massive effort. Well done boys.

kokoda challenge - gympie avengers

And that, my friends, was one heck of a way to spend a weekend.

How to make your own luck in life

How to make your own luck in life

How to make your own luck in life is going to be a title that for some people will push their buttons. If you feel a little trampled by luck at the moment, it’s probably annoying to hear that you can make your own. Especially when this post is written by someone like me who for various reasons of her birth; race, birthplace and stupendous family, has acknowledged her privileged position.

Know I know that.

But don’t go shutting off now. I am a believer in creating our own luck. And if that’s something you want for yourself ignore that little voice that is calling me a lucky bitch and read on. Good luck, a change of circumstances perhaps, is just around the corner for you! Let’s get started with how to make your own luck. Ready?

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Get lucky tip 1: What’s lucky?

Know what you want or is a broader sense, know what you want your life to look like. Lucky for some would be stumbling over a pot of gold, for others it will be people around them who love them. Decide what your version of a charmed life is. Decide how luck is going to show up for you and to do THAT, you need to know yourself. Where are you planning to make your own luck? What areas? Why?

Heck, maybe when you take a look you’ll find you are already pretty darn lucky. I know I did.


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Get lucky tip 2: Preparation

The luckiest people you know probably all have one thing in common. Preparation. They prepare for anything and everything they want to arrive. They are ready to get lucky. Bet you didn’t think we were going to take this turn. Or maybe you did. Maybe you knew that circumstances are just that and luck is something that gets behind those who are ready for it. Maybe not. But whatever position you are starting from here, it’s time to prepare yourself for good things. Expect them, want them (this can be a tricky thing to do) and prepare for them.


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Get lucky tip 3: Opportunity

Knock on every door, window and crevice for opportunity. To be lucky you need to have your eyes wide open. To make your own luck, you have to be willing to jump when opportunity shows up. Some would say that an opportunity appearing is lucky.

Looking for opportunity in everything is a habit you can train yourself into. It’s a practice. If you start to see opportunity everywhere, your lucky break is closer than you think. And you know what happens then? When it shows up you have to leap on it, wrap your legs around it’s back and go for the ride. Opportunity is like that.


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Get lucky tip 4: Work

Work it. Work and work and work and work until you look up one day and you’re the luckiest son-of-a-bitch there is. When you make your own luck, you find that you are never short of it. Bad luck is something that happens in life and soon is behind you. Good luck is something that actually, you work for most of the time.

You buy the ticket when you want to win the lotto, you send off that proposal or application of the job you want. When you work, there’s something that happens out there in the world, you get lucky. You work so hard that the things you want show up through your sheer will. Scoff if you like, but I’m right. Ask anyone who has what you want in life, I’d almost guarantee it didn’t fall from the sky into their laps.


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Get lucky tip 5: It’s all about you

What goes up, must come down and around and sideways and whatever, just go with it. Luck, I’m going to tell you this now at the end, but luck is one of those things that is only as powerful as you think it is. So yes this post has been about nothing but backing yourself, doing the work, looking for opportunities and taking the leap.

Surprise. It’s all about you. You get to make your own luck, you decide, you are the driving force behind your own life. And yes things can happen, a lot of things in this life are out of our immediate control, but you get to say how life goes for you.


Are you one of the lucky ones? Do you believe in making your own luck? 

Street Style: Inspired By

Street Style: Inspired By

I’ve been obsessed with street style since before I started to blog about clothes. Sure the references I saw in those days were the rich and famous. Then the bloggers started to make their way onto my radar. The actual street style and the posed street style type outfit post. I became obsessed. You only have to look at my Pinterest to know that. This week, since I’ve had a wee bit of resurgence on the blog of late (wifi will do that to a girl) it felt like a good time to share my love of street style with you all.

I wrote an article once over at Styling You about how Pinterest helped me develop my personal style (read it, it’s a good one) within that, how instrumental it was when I saw outfits that inspired me, people like me and a whole world of options opened up.

Take some time. Take a look. Get inspired by the whole world of people out there sharing their personal style. The rich and famous are still there, and I have to admit to having numerous Kardashian based outfits in my boards, but there are just as many style bloggers like me. Everyday women who love to get dressed and tell people about it.

Follow Suger Coat It’s board {STREET STYLE OBSESSION} on Pinterest.

Black + White Images: Inspired By

Black + White Images: Inspired By

Portraits, house images, fashion images, ALL the images, just give them to me in black and white. This house I was determined to move away from my predominately black and white theme to something a little softer. Something with tan and leather, industrial without being too hard. Warm and welcoming. Something that would be at home in the artful interiors of our new home.

And still, the black and white continues to creep back in. Sure it’s an off white. Maybe even a cream. But it edges in and I must admit it’s like coming home to an old friend. There’s something classic about it. I could flip through black and white images all day. Imagining the colour. Lost in the contrast. It’s no wonder it shows up time and time again in my home. So this week, it’s my inspired by. And I’ve collected some good ones! Check it out.

What are you up to this week? Any big news? Did you hear, we could be in our new house Friday! Wooo.

Food Glorious Food: Inspired By

Food Glorious Food: Inspired By

Mmmmm. Yum. This week’s inspiration comes to you via my currently being renovated kitchen. I’ve chosen some new tiles, Mr Suger finished the cut through to the dining/living room… It’s all happening and I’m dreaming of dinner parties. Of having people over, of cooking and eating for and with friends. Food. This week it is all about food.

The thing I love most about food is that with a little preparation, some research and a good knife or two you can make something special. I’m not an artist, if you’ve seen me draw you’ll testify, but when I cook I get to be creative. Artistic even and inventive. Lashings of colour and texture, spices and flavours. It’s inspiring, don’t you think?

Find all these delicious pins and inspiration on my Fooding and Drinking Board on Pinterest. You’re welcome team. This board has taken me a long time to curate into this colourful, delicious world that it is. I’m a bit nervous sharing it actually. Isn’t that strange? Do me a favour, love it, would you.

What’s inspiring YOU this week? Wanna come to dinner?

A post for strong women

A post for strong women

This, my friends, is a post about women. About strong women. The ones they call bossy, domineering, powerful and unladylike. This is for the girls, the women and the old broads who did things their way and didn’t ask for permission. This is for the women I know.

A shout out of sorts.

A hello, how are you.

A would you look at you kicking ass out there has anyone told you lately how awesome you are, type post.

I encountered some things this week, some ideas and opinions that I just can’t let ride. It’s such a latent idea that women shouldn’t be strong, such an undercurrent, that people don’t even realise that it’s there. Women are just this. Men are just that. No cross over, no blurring of the lines.

This assumption or type-casting is changing. Or it feels like it is anyway. I always felt like this would change in my lifetime. My father was actively involved in our household and as a parent, splitting the commitments and chores with my mother. He was sentimental, hard-working, strong and the first to cry in sad or touching movies. My mother was fiercely independent, outgoing, boisterous and soft. They showed me that gender didn’t dictate traits like this. You did. Personality did.

So I chose to be strong. I resisted the urge to be bossy and instead became the boss. I challenged the ideas of what I should and shouldn’t be knowing that I could be any and all of them if I wanted. Maybe even one after another depending on the day and how I felt. Because I was allowed to be strong, I found my ability to be vulnerable, gentle and soft.

Apparently you and I, we can be all the things. Or none of them. So if like me you are sick to death of being told I need to be something you’re not then go be yourself. And just quietly, that doesn’t have to be strong if you don’t want either. You get to be whatever you like, dress, do, think, act. However, you like. Stop believing everything they told you. Those people are rarely correct.


And now here’s some pin’able and instagram’able images for you and the strong women in your life. Click the image for a large size, it’ll open in a new page. And have I told you lately that you’re doing great? Well you are. Well done.

strong women - anais nin - suger coat it strong women - katharine hepburn - suger coat it strong women - suger coat it

90s Movies: Inspired By

90s Movies: Inspired By

Another week, another inspired by. I’m having fun with these. And I know, it’s not a house update or an outfit post but for now it’s what I’m enjoying doing. So here we go. If you’ve written, blogged or shared something this week you are inspired by, share it in the comments, I’d love to check it out. But for now let’s talk my inspo this week… The good old 90s movie!

I’m always inspired by the 90s movie. The 90s in general but a 90s movie is far up my ally it’s not funny. One of the first posts I ever wrote for my new blog was about my MUST SEE 90s movies. It’s a great list compiled by my siblings and I, you’re welcome.

But this week as I start to pack my wardrobe for a move, a bit of a cull and probably a sale, I realised how inspired by the 90s I am when it comes to my wardrobe. Sure some of the brands I love help me fulfil on such ideas, but to say it’s go a total 90s vibe in it is to say the least. And I love that. It makes messy hair and slouchy goodness seem like THE thing.

But I’m starting to think maybe I DO need to embrace the floral… Nah. Probably not.

Ha!

And just quietly, can I have Drew’s hair in the bottom right hand corner now? Please. So yes 90s fans, that’s the inspiration for me this week. Do you have a favourite 90’s movie? I have like one thousand. So don’t ask me to pick just one.

What are you being inspired by this week? 

Snuggly Cuddly

Snuggly Cuddly

It’s mood board time! What can I say, when I enjoy something I keep doing it. That’s what a blog is for, right? Fun and games. Last week I shared my first board on the blog about houses. I was consumed by them and that is very much still the case. But this week it morphed into something else. As I continue to put together the pieces of our home, what appeals to me most is the feeling of warmth. Coziness. Snuggliness.

As much as everyone is clear that I am a child of the summer, born for long days at the beach and sunny afternoons kicked back with a beverage, I love winter too. I love the opportunity to layer up cost knits and warm boots. Waking late, snuggling in blankets nad wrapping my hands around a hot mug of coffee.

I chose a couch that was squishy and warm. There are throws wingng their way to me with cable knits and chunky threads. I want layers of textures to wrap around me and snuggle. There’s probably something in that, a wanting for my own place perhaps. After years in a modern, cool home, in colour and style, I am dying for a bit of snuggly, cuddly warmth. Don’t you think?

Do you have a mood board you’d like to share? Add the link below. Upload a pic. Whatever you like. I remember when Polyvore challenges were all the thing, I miss those days. I miss checking out people being creative. Join me if you like. Let’s cut and paste together.

Moody

Moody

Last week I decided to share what was inspiring me via a collage on Instagram. A mood board of sorts. And because I really don’t have much else to report, I thought what the heck, let’s talk about it here too. Last week kicked off with the moody blues and greys. This week though is all about houses. My house, your house, the house on the cover of all the mags I can get my hands on. The Block. Pinterest boards filled with them. Lots and lots of houses. Houses.

I guess that was bound to happen. We are finally coming to the end of our adventure and will be moving into our house in a few short weeks. This will be our fifth home, excluding those we have rented. FIVE. We have built from scratch lots and this will be our second renovation.

The paint swatches are piling up, I have carpet samples swimming in my head. There are couches to buy and furniture items to replace. This is the house we are putting down roots in for a while. We want it to be something special. Something reflective of us as a couple. A place to call home and welcome our friends.

With all that in mind, it’s no wonder I’ve got houses on the brain.

Starting over over 30

People like to talk about how your 30’s are those years when life gets that wee bit easier. You’ve established yourself and worked through and decided upon the things that make you. Maybe you’re earning a little more money, you’ve settled into your house, and all is well in the world. Thirty. Easy, I’ve got this. And then in a moment, you don’t get this.

But what if you’re starting over over 30? What then.

In a moment, something happens, and life changes. How do you pick-up and start again when the stuff you’ve spent the past decade accumulating? Maybe without the people or the places that you love, how do you do that? I have no freaking idea, to be honest, but as Mr Suger and I tackle some version of this ourselves, here are my thoughts.

You have to let go of how life should look.

Those shoulds are going to do you in if you let them; they’re happiness sucking things, and it will sneak up steal your joy if you let it. So don’t let it. Walk away from the idea of what you though your 30s (or whatever decade you’re in) and admit that you know nothing. You had a plan; you had a goal… It didn’t work out. That sucks. Moving on.

Be prepared to knuckle down.

For us, this is particularly true, we have spent almost a decade in some version of living it up. We didn’t realise it at the time, but we were. The time has come to do what we know to do but have been avoiding doing for a while. Some areas of life require our attention, but because they were boring or annoying, we didn’t do them. Now it’s time to pay the piper. You can only dodge being an adult for so long, apparently.

Or if you’ve been too uptight, prepare to loosen up.

Then as much as there are areas that we were all free and easy about, there are areas of our lives that would benefit from removing our foot from the go-fast pedal. It’s about balance, and if your life has done a nose drive in one area, you’re obviously out of balance. So, it’s time to even that keel and find your centre.

Don’t stop dreaming…!

I blame those Glee kids for hearing that song in my head as I type that, but it’s true. When you get knocked down, you cannot be afraid to try again, to dream big, to risk it all again. That’s something we are working on over here. Making plans to go after the life you want, those big dreams for yourself, when your last ones just didn’t work out is tough. It’s downright impossible some days. But it’s essential. Sure, sulk a little, but don’t forget to get back up and go again.

Get better advice.

For us, it wasn’t a case of bad advice, but a case of ignoring good advice. So I include this one to cover both sides of the coin. Maybe you’ve been taking advice from the wrong people. Or perhaps you’re a little more like us and forget to take the advice you sought. Whatever the reason, now is the time to reach out to others and ask for their words of wisdom. Then, you know, act on that.

30 is the new 20 and 40 is the new 12, you’ve got time.

One of the reasons starting over in your 30’s or later is that you are saying goodbye to whatever effort, time, or money you poured into the last decade or two. It’s like when you finished your homework as a kid, took it to your parents to get the okay to play a video game, and they said “no it’s messy, start again.” and rub it out. Grrrr. Being back at something resembling, ground zero sucks. And the older you get, the more it sucks because it feels like maybe you won’t make it back in time.

But that’s bullshit, you’re not done until you’re done. Starting over over 30 shouldn’t be something you don’t have ‘time to do. Who knows how much time you have. Don’t make me trot out that old ‘you could get hit by a bus tomorrow’ line. Start today. Don’t sit around looking back on the good old days forever. Dust yourself off my friend, it’s time to start over. Who knows what there is in store for you when you find your feet. Something pretty darn cool, I hope.

Have you had to start over? How old were you, and how did you do it?