If you’ve read anything I’ve posted on the blog in the last two years, the very few and far-between snippets from my life, you would know it was struggle-town over here. Population me! Anxiety was at an all-time high, sending confidence and self-esteem flying out the window and running for the hills. And if you didn’t, now you’re caught up. A genuine crisis of confidence makes it very difficult to show up a blog with a literal (e)book on the matter.
But when I started to plan to clean out my closet, deciding what could stay and what could go, I knew I needed to work out what my style even looks like now. I’m about to be 42 (where does the time go?), and it’s not holding me back from knowing what I like or want; it’s the big hole where my confidence used to be. So, I started a Pinterest board. Of course, I did; I am a millennial, after all, and I started formulating an idea of what I like and what appeals to me now. Piece by piece, I built this idea until I had a clearer picture of what I wanted and how I would move forward in the cleanout. Go me!
Except that the idea of being in photos again makes me wince full-body.
And the mortgages are mortgaging, so there’s not a lot of play money to rebuild; I’ll be relying on what I have now, some of which are in a different size from what I wear now, adding to the genuine yikes factor of moving forward. But trying not to get stuck, I keep digging through what I have. For my entire adult life, I’ve worn between a 20 and 26 in dress sizes. So, there’s flexibility there. Yes, most of my cool denim is a size 20/22, but I’ll decide what to do once I’m back in the swing of things. It’s the swing of things I’m finding difficult.
So, I’m hoping to take the time along the way not just to clean out what doesn’t fit or work for me anymore in my closet but to rebuild my confidence and nurture my self-esteem—rebuild them, too. And through that, I can find my style again and enjoy the play and joyfulness of it all. Enjoy getting dressed, going places, and spending time with people who aren’t my husband or my dogs. Maybe it’s time to review some of my old Confident You blog posts like some of you have told me you’ve been doing. Whatever it takes, I’m following the Khloe Kardashian way of thinking that the forties will be one of the best decades of my life, so it’s time to get started. Properly.
In my inbox this week are Hank & Hera and their thoughtfully designed sleep and loungewear available in sizes 4 – 34. Yes, you heard that right. It’s a generous size range, and I’ve found them to have plenty of room to move within that range. But I’m getting ahead of myself. In my inbox might be the series, but Hank & Hera isn’t new news to me; I’ve been working with Philippa on their website and emails for a while now. From the start, I had a draft here waiting for me to share the story of this brand with you. What is ‘In My Inbox’ for if not that?
Backstory-wise, I first “met” Pip through her website Sisu and Finn while actively blogging. We worked together on some photos and a post for the blog—in a dress, mind you, that I still wear to this day. You know the one, the navy wrap dress I wore for family photos the other year? And to my brother’s wedding? That dress. But we’ve had poolside adventures together now in some very fine establishments. Once, she took Kel and me on an adventure in Sydney to kill some time before our flights. When internet friends become real-life favourite people, right?
But now, a little more about Hank and Hera from their website:
Hank & Hera was founded by Philippa Giles in 2023 as a frustrated consumer who wanted beautiful garments that did not exist in plus sizes. Through Hank & Hera, Philippa combines an adoration for timeless silhouettes and an unwavering commitment to ensuring that all women have access to impeccably crafted garments to design luxurious, natural fibre sleepwear from size XS to 4XL (AU 4 – 34). Her driving force behind the brand is to create garments that evoke a sense of divine beauty and celebrate all women, of all sizes.
Hank & Hera is proudly designed in Australia. Each garment is meticulously crafted and supported by female-founded businesses. By supporting local professionals and embracing female-owned businesses, we contribute to a legacy of quality craftsmanship and empowerment within our community.
In a busy world with so many time pressures, Hank & Hera believes every woman deserves to indulge in luxury as part of the everyday. Our designs cater to individuals who savour life’s finer pleasures, echoing the sophistication and grace of our namesake, Hera, the Queen of the Gods.
Just like the enduring elegance of our muse, Hera, our range is designed to transcend the latest trends, celebrating lasting style through quality fabrics and classic colours. The range is designed to effortlessly transition from traditional sleepwear to chic ensembles suitable for any occasion, embodying a slow fashion ethos that prioritises longevity and versatility. Whether you’re relaxing at home or heading to brunch, Hank & Hera’s range has been designed with versatility in mind, to add value to the customer.
And then, for Christmas 2024, Philippa gifted me this light, cotton beauty, which is perfection and one of the most beautiful gifts I’ve ever received. It’s an Aurora nightgown (size 3XL), and while I’d never consider myself a girly girl, the femme details and classic style are, somehow, so my style. I love it. I only take it off to put it through the wash and start again. But never fear, and I know you were worried about me. I have theArianna in Navyto wear while that happens. I haven’t reviewed this style yet because I haven’t had a fancy bathroom to take photos of (mine still isn’t renovated, sigh). But I’ll get there. With the pictures and the renovation, of course.
But for now, head to the website to check out the entire range. Use code SUGER10 (linked to my affiliate account) for 10% off your order.
It’s hard to believe that my first post about our new puppy, Fetch, is probably my last. No sugarcoating it here, this past few weeks have sucked. Big time. Skip this one if you’re not in the mood, folks. I just wanted to make sure he was documented here, where all the things I love are documented.
I’d always joked about getting a dog and naming them Fetch. Something that I never thought Kel would let me get away with. But when we picked him up on June 18th, he was never going to be anything else. Welcome to the family, Fetchy boy. A male Border Collie, I’d read all the guides about how to work with them and train them, entertain them so they don’t destroy your house. Kel had been away working at Rainbow Beach, and I had filled the house to the brim with dog stuff while he was gone. I was ready to go.
Quickly, my life was turned upside down. Because I work at a studio here at the house, I was home all day with him. And soon, he occupied all my free time and then some. Puppy care and training; phew, I did not expect the commitment of time and energy that would be at all. I’ve never thrown a ball so much in all my life, and for a while there, as a kid, I played softball. Not to mention the number of times over the two short months we had him that I messaged clients to explain my total scatterbrain-ness.
That was it. I was hooked.
I was in love and wondered how I’d ever managed without my Stretchy Fetchy. Honestly, I didn’t know how lonely I was until he became part of our family. How long the days can be working alone here when Kel leaves for the worksite at daylight and returns home at dark. He became the reason (that wasn’t my work or just because) to get up and go in the morning—a chance to take care of someone. To, as my Mum and sister put it, fuss around after someone. Kel and I are pretty independent souls; neither of us does so well being fussed over. But, apparently fussing, now that I can get into.
My best friend almost overnight, we got into a routine fast. Up in the morning, I’d make a coffee, and we’d hang out in the backyard for a while. I’d go back to work, and he’d hang out with a chew of some description. Back and forwards in and out of the house all day long. We’d do these little training sessions a few times a day, and he was picking up things so fast. He was so smart I almost felt like he would answer me back one day.
Mostly, I couldn’t wait to watch him grow up. Which was something I thought about often. Would his ears stand up? Just how tall/heavy was he going to get? And also, how we’d take him to the beach and camping with us and let him go nuts digging in the sand. I joked that he better like the ocean more than he liked baths because he had no option. We are a beach family, full-stop. The things we’d do and the places we’d see. Adventures, you know how it goes. I started an Instagram to share the photos so my own feed could be mine again.
I guess all puppies do this, I don’t know, but he grew fast. And by the time he was 14 weeks, he’d gone from 5 kg to almost 10. We laughed at his clumsiness and upgraded his kennel as all signs pointed to him being a big guy. He didn’t just chase a ball or stick in the yard; he would hit this super sonic go-fast mode. Low to the ground, speeding from the back corner to me, yelling and screaming like a lunatic, cheering him on from the garden. It was perfect.
And then, one Saturday morning, he went from losing his footing sometimes (something we put down to him growing so fast) to being unable to pull himself up to his feet. A few calls later, it was decided that he should see a vet ASAP, and the first emergency vet trip was underway. He came home to us that night, improved but not ‘fixed’, and was on antibiotics. But then, he got worse. For the first day or two, I would call the Vet expressing my concern, asking if this was normal, and wanting to know more about what was happening with his lab results.
By the middle of the following week, when Kel got home, I knew we had to do more. He was more than just wobbly on his feet; he was again struggling to stand and generally miserable that he had all this energy and go in him and could not make his body cooperate. We were sent further south to a different emergency with a specialist centre next door. Cue even more blood tests, labs and pats from his adoring nurse fans.
So, we were facing more extensive and expensive testing. A few educated guesses were going around, but they needed more information. So, we shook a few trees and did the best we could. With an unconfirmed diagnosis of Meningitis, our poor little guy had a spinal tap to test the fluid in his spine. He was to spend overnight in the hospital, start receiving steroids, and we would review the result later.
That next day, I received a call that, WOW, he was responding to steroids, and all was looking so good he could be picked up. My sister, her son (and puppy) jumped in the car, and I called the family as we went; he was coming home. He was getting better; everything was looking good, and that horrible feeling I’d had that something terrible was about to happen was wrong. I was ecstatic to be wrong (for once).
The following day, Ashton was here, and they played and played in the mud and dirt. He was still a little wobbly on his feet at times, but we couldn’t believe how much better he looked. We thought then that the worst he would have to ‘recover’ from were the shaved patches all over him from tests, drips, and all that jazz. But, the next day, he started to look a little unstable again. He was tired and spent more time than usual curled up at my feet (more than usual, which was a lot). I wondered if he overdid it.
And it went on like this, up and down, good days and bad, until the Friday following the one he miraculously came home to us. The night before, we noticed he was struggling in the back legs. He would slip and slide around the timber floors, trying to get footing. With an appointment the following day, we decided to wait and see what the Vet said. Maybe the steroids needed to increase in dose or something? Perhaps it would just take time.
But that day, we sat across from the wonderful Sarah and learned that his getting worse again was bad. Without an MRI to confirm, there were two primary causes: they could put it down to a degenerative disorder (from which he wouldn’t recover, only get worse over time) or the more severe type of Meningitis, which needed a more extensive drug, a chemo level drug.
We wanted to weigh up our options, so we brought him home, with the realisation dawning that he might not make it out of this. I sobbed hard the entire car ride home, but I wasn’t ready to let him go just yet. We’d try the drug, I said to Kel, we have to. He was quickly convinced that man would have emptied our bank account to get to the bottom of this and save our boy.
And I’m glad now that we bought him home because Saturday was one of the best days he had had since this all started. Everything seemed to click, and part of me hoped that maybe, just maybe, the steroids (which he was still taking) had just taken longer than usual to work. Kel played tug, chased the ball and sat out the back watching the birds. I made sure to spend as much time with him as possible and took lots of photos and videos of him and me in the backyard. The one at the top of this post is from that day. Look at his little face! It’s still a shock to the system that he was gone less than 48 hours later.
But Sunday, he got worse, the worst we’ve seen him and by that night, we had returned him to the care of the Emergency Vet to await word on whether he would even be well enough for the treatment the following day. Short version? He was not. And by lunchtime, we were driving back down to the Sunshine Coast to say goodbye. We spent lots of time, just the three of us. And then, quickly and quietly, he was gone. He was only four months and there or four days old. And my heart broke into tiny pieces on the spot.
Now, I know plenty of people will question my total devastation. Question this post and how I make it sound like he was my firstborn child or something. I don’t have a comeback for any of that. But, if you’re here and you think this is dramatic or attention-seeking, this isn’t the place for you. So yes, I know he was a dog, and sadly, that we barely knew him. But somehow, the unfairness of that makes it worse.
But that, dear blog, is the sad, sad story of our boy Fetch.
I’ve sat down to write this update post multiple times now. It’s been a while, and there is a lot to catch up on. Stuff with me, the business, the house, finding my feet after the year that was 2020 and everything in between. But then the sheer volume overwhelms me, and I delete the draft and run for the hills. But not today. No sir. Today, it’s happening even if I don’t cover everything (like, the house probably needs its own post. Actually, maybe so do the changes with my business).
It happened; if you’re reading this, I did it.
So, where to start? I’d say back at the beginning, but maybe 2020 is too far to go back. It feels like a lifetime ago now, but it’s funny how the pieces of the life I’d built are only now coming back together. I wonder if any of you felt like that too? After the 70% hit my business took, it was as if everything was pushed off its axis, and I was trying to make it through. One more day, that’s all I could manage.
Until that one more day got a little easier, and I got my feet back under me. Things started to come together; work started rolling in; I was happy again, not by some miracle or magical occurrence but through one choice at a time. I gave up drinking, sugar too (basically), and some life-sucking apps on my phone. I said yes to people who still wanted to talk to me, and I got out more. And at some stage, I started to garden and filled my side yard with plants, fruit trees and vegetables.
Maybe I had a late thirties, early on-set, mid-life crisis?
But whatever it was, things changed for me around the middle of last year. I got my life back. Then I started to write again. At first, I did it for myself, finding the words to describe how I feel about what I feel—blogging for myself while trying to decide if there is a place for a blogger from 2009 in an AI world. But I worked out it didn’t matter if no one ever read what I wrote; it was important to me.
So, I wrote in my newsletter (umm, sign up here if you don’t receive it already) and popped up on social media. Got in my photos and even booked some family photos for the whole crew. Along the way, I even wrote a few blog posts. This brings me here; maybe I’m not sharing anything new, but I wanted to provide an update anyway. This is a way to reclaim my space, share whatever I want to share, and show up; just as I am.
Writing a blog about confidence is pretty tough when you feel like a fraud. I should know; that’s exactly how I felt. Looking back, I knew things were really out of control when I attended an event in Brisbane, pre-Covid. In a room full of people, most I’d known for years, I couldn’t breathe. Nothing could distract or settle me. The walls were closing in, and the only thing I could do was get outside, sit and try to gather myself.
Maybe some of you were there or heard an account of it. Some people got back to me, said I was rude, stand-offish and made them feel like I didn’t care about them or anything but myself and my friends. Hard to hear, a gut punch. But I couldn’t argue with it. When you’re barely holding it together, keen to get out, I’m sure that’s exactly how it looks to others. Anxiety looks like that sometimes; I look like that sometimes; there’s no denying it.
And I was embarrassed. That I came across that way or that it would be the first impression some people had of me. Humiliated that I couldn’t take a few deep breaths and clear my head, I got stuck in the panic. I couldn’t face the blog after that. Some confidence guru I turned out to be. Not that I ever set out to be a guru; of course, I didn’t. But no one knew then how bad my anxiety had gotten, and I refused to share that.
Some days, doing ‘the best we can’ may still fall short of what we would like to be able to do, but life isn’t perfect — on any front — and doing what we can with what we have is the most we should expect of ourselves or anyone else.” — Mister Rogers
But hiding from it did nothing. It was still there when I worried about what people were saying or thinking about me. It showed up, and I felt like an outsider. Then Covid hit, and the last shreds of my chill slipped through my fingers. I embraced online groceries and deliveries and soon was buying everything online. There was nowhere to go, so I didn’t have to push myself to try anymore. There was relief in giving up. I was happy to stay there for as long as I could.
Then, in the middle of last year, things started to shift for me. I said yes to more things and let my excuses slip. Time passing had lessened the power of the anxiety that had surged so strongly through my veins in the years prior. Finally, I could see out from under my rock, and there, to be entirely cliche and sickening, was sunshine. I could breathe again, finally.
There’s no way that I ever want to resume my self-appointed confidence guru position. But confidence, self-confidence and body confidence will always be part of this blog, just as they are part of my life story and mental health conversations. So from now on, you can count on me to be honest about what is going on for me, good or bad, up or down. Who knows if you even want that from me? Maybe it will just be for my benefit and debriefing purposes, but we’ll see.
A beach baby since before birth, I’m team summer, even if it leaves me a frizzy, sweaty mess more often than not. Thankfully, after a little exploring online, some new to me plus-size brands with big summer energy popped into my feed. Everything you need for a Queensland summer, from swimwear to activewear (or as I like to call them, clothes), as well as lightweight sets and dresses.
What constitutes ‘big summer vibes’? No compromise on style or trendiness, no mention of flattering (gag). Fun, exciting shapes and designs in a range of sizes. As usual, I cut any brands that didn’t offer at least an AU 22. Which is, let’s face it, the bare minimum we should expect these days. But the majority go larger, and so they should. Grab the anti-chafe cream, and let’s dive in.
Speaking of the Queensland Summer, this brand was started right here; we’re practically neighbours. Bright and colourful swimwear, as well as coordinated sets and separates designed with nostalgic prints and designs. If my style has evolved at all over the past few years, this is what it has morphed into. Casual, elevated styles in a neutral palette. That’s not to say they don’t bring the colour, though; they are doing that too!
Workwear? Really, Suger, are you serious? Yes, yes, I am. From the cheeky shorts to the coveralls, this brand grabbed my attention and wouldn’t let it go. In case you missed it, I’ve gotten into gardening in the past couple of years (it’s a whole thing, don’t ask, haha). It all started with a single raised garden bed, and now I’m making over our entire property with natives and edible plants of all varieties. You can’t really blame me for eyeing off those overalls that look this good on all shapes and sizes. I could be a farmer in those clothes…
On an adventure around the internet, I joined the mailing list and have enjoyed watching the brand unfold ever since. As yet, we have some great options for activewear made closer to home, but the tennis dresses sucked me in. I blame Serena Williams and my short-lived sports superstar ambitions. Oh, and not to mention Clueless and Cruel Intentions. /what kid of 80s baby would I be if I hadn’t wanted to live out my preppy dreams in a tennis dress?
Need itty bitty ‘kinis in your life? Look no further than this recently launched brand. As someone who loves a graphic tee, this is like the graphic tee of swimwear with bright colours and text patterns. So cool. There isn’t a large number of styles available just yet, but that’s a symptom of how early we are getting to the party. Let’s just say that I can’t wait to see what’s next, but for now, this is exactly where you need to be for loud, bold swim pieces.
I’ve chatted with the owner of this brand once or twice on Instagram. But having never worn the range myself, I haven’t included many (if any?) pieces in my plus-size ‘where to buy’ round-ups. But I could resist no longer. There’s something very summery about the light and breezy styles, soft prints and classic designs. There’s a casual comfort to the whole range that calls out for long afternoons in the sunshine, cheese board at the ready. Take a look for yourself; I’m sure you’ll agree.
More hot, hot, hot swimwear action over here! With the added bonus of some of the most fun sunglasses styles I’ve seen in a while. Ochre Lane seems to be another brand that is new’ish with an expanding range. But if your thing is summer neutrals, look no further than the creamy, warm tones of their latest range (plus the orange is a nice touch). Gorgeous! And as a photo-type person, I loved the campaign and social media images for this one; so good. Hard to resist something that calls to me from my Instagram feed as this did.
Are you into the light but bright styles? Can’t seem to get over the smock dress or flippy skirt? Ummm, do I have the brand for you. New to me because I don’t own any of their pieces, but well known to a lot of you, Proud Poppy is a Queensland brand (apparently) that is all about taking a walk on the bright side. IMO. I’ve selected a couple of styles for the photos that are more my personal muted vibe, but if colourful prints and patterns are your things, click the links now and have a good old time!
This new-to-me brand (as in, I hadn’t heard of them before this search) speaks to my new casual, comfortable aesthetic. And wait until you hear this. There are matching mini (kids) versions of the styles! Cuuuute. I’m not sure my nieces will want to go matchy-matchy with me now that they’re all a little older and have their own style, but perhaps one of you can live out that twin life instead. Choose from light summer separates, dresses and recently swimwear and embrace that tonal, never goes out of style, vibe.
This fun addition is a family-run business that, in their own words, creates designs with your ‘peach’ in mind, with silhouettes that are developed to fit and flatter your curves in just the right places. Fashion that makes you feel truly confident, comfortable and amazing in your own skin. Love that! With affordable basics and fun, on-trend pieces for every season, they’re worth a closer look when you’re looking to add toy our wardrobe this summer.
And that wraps things up for this big summer energy post. Don’t forget to check out some of the stores mentioned and share your favourites in the comment. And it’s probably worth mentioning that some of my old favouritesalso offer bright, fun collections this summer. There’s something very summer about fresh summer styles in light, bright colours.
I’m serious when I tell you when I gave up drinking, I hadn’t intended to. One day I was changing how I ate, looking to achieve a whole host of things, and I decided alcohol wouldn’t fit in with those changes. So, I stopped drinking. Now, It’s been three months since I gave up drinking, and I don’t miss it. Thinking about it now, I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve even given it a second thought.
Very strange for someone who enjoyed a good drink or two but here we are. Most people who have heard about this recent development are confused about why. Others, I’m sure, weren’t surprised at all. Team wine, that was me, and the frequency with which I would consume a glass or two had been growing over the years. Add in my friend, vodka, and it was becoming a free for all.
After these few months, what have I discovered when I gave up drinking; about myself, alcohol and the whole darn thing?
A small disclaimer before I get into this. I’m not a professional medical type, nor do I have any experience with addiction recovery or counselling. This is not advice, medical or otherwise, and it certainly isn’t a comment on addiction. It’s simply my experience, what I’ve noticed about my life and health since I gave up drinking after being a regular, if not heavy, drinker for decades. If you’re feeling like alcohol might be a problem for you or someone you know, try this link from Lifeline Australia.
The effects on your waistline
I learned that alcohol, such as wine and its mixer friends, have a lot of calories that seem to enjoy adding to your waistline. There are no ifs, buts, or maybes about that. Add to that general puffiness and dull skin. What’s not to love about that? She says sarcastically. But remove them from the equation; the extra weight (and the rest) leave as quickly as they arrived. Or that has been my experience anyway.
The Money Honey
Next, let’s talk about how much money I was spending! Between a wine subscription, trips to the local bottle shop and a taste for the good stuff, vodka-wise, the costs were adding up. A few years ago, I talked about how I felt entitled to upgrade my spending as our lives became more financially stable. Well, this was one area I did that and then some!
Tallying it all up in my head, I was astounded by how much money we spent on drinks. Between that and trying to kick the takeaway habit, our transaction account got cleaned up really fast! But to be fair, it’s not like I’ve saved a lot from not drinking these last few months. I have a new thing to spend my money on… plants. (How Millenial of me, haha).
Sleep and general mental clarity
That last subheading sounds serious, and it is. The biggest thing I’ve learned since I gave up drinking is that drinking ruins your sleep and mental health. It’s a tough pill to swallow, but with regular drinking comes crappy nights of sleep and the subsequent days of fogginess and all-around sluggishness.
It may be me, full disclaimer, but I’ve improved my sleep quality massively since I gave up alcohol. My apple watch/health chart-thingy has an impressive graph to reflect that. Even with my higher-than-average caffeine consumption, almost immediately, it was better. Which, if it were a weight-related thing, wouldn’t have shown any real improvement until weeks later? But there it was, an immediate spike.
Then there’s the less easy-to-track mental clarity. Based on how I feel, this has improved dramatically. My business has been booming, and I’m busier than ever. While sometimes I get tired, I don’t feel burnt out or exhausted like I once did as I poured a glass to end my day. Sure, this could be an improved mental health state, but interesting to note this upswing in brain power.
So, what now for me and booze?
In conclusion, I don’t intend to quit drinking forever. That might change; never say never, but that’s the current feeling I get. Because I enjoy a glass of wine with dinner, celebrating with my sparkling favourites or a frosty beverage at the beach. Even over Christmas, I won’t rule out a beverage or two. But this time off of the booze has completely changed my relationship with drinking.
Before, I felt like I had to drink to be social. To quiet the voice of anxiety so I could forge ahead in situations that put me out of my comfort zone. In the more difficult mental health times, even at some places in my comfort zone. But that was an excuse, short version. Drinking made those things worse in the long run. Even if I didn’t feel the effects until the next day or once the alcohol had worn off. And giving up drinking made them better, over time, with a distance between me and what my life used to look like.
Considering I was in my office this morning before 6 am, you’d think I’d be ready to roll with this email early, right? Apparently not. I got caught up making a few changes to the blog branding I had a dream about last night. Saying it came to me in a dream seems a little out there, but that’s kind of how it went.
I’ve been bringing the look of the blog and socials into 2022 and generally tinkering around behind the scenes for a while now. But I feel like I have found the final piece to the puzzle (along with some stuff I have happening behind the scenes). But why bother, right? I post sporadically at best; it hardly seems worth it.
Well, because I love it.
I love that it gave me this ‘job’ and life that I love. It’s shaped the way that I communicate and learn. So, it remains important and part of how I express myself. Something which I feel myself coming back to over and over again even as it stands quiet and neglected on the public side.
I know now, and trust, that it won’t always be the case. And sure, maybe there are not 100k likes or follows in my future, big brand partnerships or producing content for money. But maybe there will be space for me to find my feet again after a strange couple of years. Maybe there will be room for me to stretch what I know about myself and this thing I do there.
And yes, I am aware that this is a topic you’re probably sick to death hearing about.
Do it or don’t, you scream in the emails, do whatever you want, we’re good. But it is what mattered most to me this morning—sharing the spark of creativity, the bud of a blooming flower that marks the start of something new for me. It’s been a while since I felt free to express who I am.
Yesterday I posted the image above to my socials, and I meant it. I think we all do better and feel better when making something. Whether baking a cake, writing again for the first time in years (go Shae!) or finding new ways to do the things we’ve always done, it’s too easy in our day-to-day lives to get caught up in what we should do; the to-do list or workload.
But what if you gave yourself a moment to draw, paint, sculpt, bake, craft, write, sing or perform? To make something.
Thanks for always giving me the space; I hope you feel you are given the same room to create something too. If not, let me hold some open for you to fill. Consider this your challenge this week, find something that you can make, that you LOVE to make, and do it.
I was hoping you could find the time, I know your life is busy, but it will be worth every second. Express yourself, friend; it’s the only way to live this big, fully self-expressed life we’re going for over here. Go big or go home, right?
It all started with a simple question, can I earn money on Fiverr as a photographer? Keen to get into doing more product photography, I was looking for a way to find clients and generate more work for myself. A YouTube video about a freelance copywriter on CNBC’s Millennial Money convinced me to turn to Fiverr. And after the first month, I received my first order.
After the first six months on the platform, I was on a roll that didn’t stop. Soon I was a Level One (I wrote about that), then Level Two Seller. I don’t plan to break things down as precisely as I did in that second post (about becoming a Level One Seller, but later I’ll talk about the amounts and the impact it had on the photography arm of my business as a whole. Scroll down if you’re just here for the dollars… I get it.
What’s been happening since my last post?
Around April, things got hectic around here as my workload more than doubled. Not only was I continuing to maintain my roles in my business, but I was doing all the photography and processing myself. It was chaos, let me tell you. I started getting a little more help here and there with general admin like my emails or managing the enquiries. I looked to add new people for the website and social media curation side of things over at Chalkboard Digital.
But still, with everything happening and a holiday looming, I had to take stock of my situation. Make a plan! Luckily, I love a good plan, so with some time off marked out for July, I put my Fiverr on ‘Away’ and stopped taking orders for a few weeks. I worried that it would mean a drop-off in enquiry when I returned or, worse, dropping off the search results altogether. But I knew I needed to find some people to help me if things were to continue to get bigger! What can I say? I’m team go big AND go home.
Getting a little help
So, during my holiday, I started to think about what I wanted to do and what I could outsource from the work we did. There was a lot I still feel I want to keep my eyes on personally (Facebook Marketing and Direct Emails especially), and that would take longer to hand over confidently. But there were other things I could step back from or check in with quite easily; if I was willing to loosen the reins a bit. So I did. I took some of those things and found specific people that could help. I trained some myself and outsourced (often on Fiverr) others.
When I returned from break, I marked myself as available, and it was all smooth sailing from there. Well, as long as you don’t count getting the plague and a dead SD drive that corrupted five shoots in one hit. Ugh. Yup that all happened, which made the remainder of July and all of August a lot despite all my hard work and changes. But now, at the end of September, I feel like I finally got through the worst of that. With the team in place and a few price increases, I feel like I can manage the enquiry that is coming in.
Plus, I’m well on my way to becoming a Top Seller!
Which is excellent and something I’ve had in my sights the entire time. I’d love to add that badge to my profile; only thousands of dollars in sales to go. (see my dashboard view below) Haha. Something else I want to look into before the end of the year is the ProSeller program to check out the benefits to me as a seller and the requirements to apply for the program. I’ve seen some accounts with less than ten reviews marked as a ProSeller, so I’m not sure what the deal is. If you know, let me know in the comments. Until then, I’ve made sure to have both a Fiverr and a Fiverr Business profile up and running (screenshots below) to grab as much attention as possible.
Fiverr Profile
Fiverr Business Profile
What did this new stream of income from Fiverr mean for my business?
Well! This is the part that I didn’t expect, especially after one year. A 2000% increase in Photography sales through my business direct happened in the past year. No, that’s not a typo—two THOUSAND per cent increase. When you see the figures below of the amount I’ve earned, it will just cover the income earned directly from Fiverr. I think that’s the only way to be respectful of our clients. But the short version it’s a lot more than I expected and is more than the Fiverr figure by a lot.
Before working on Fiverr as a photographer, I didn’t call myself one. I was a blogger. But I did the odd photo job here and there for clients but had never really gone all in. However, enquiry picked up as soon as we started posting photo content from the Fiverr Gigs to our feeds (mine and the business account). And up and up and up.
This was another reason it no longer worked for me to have my finger in every pie of my business. With boxes arriving almost every day with new items to be photographed, I desperately needed some help. And a price increase. Which we did at the start of the new financial year and will do again at the end of this calendar year. I’m okay with saying that right now, especially on Fiverr; I’m way too cheap. But that’s building experience and a roster of regular clients right? These things take time, and I am thrilled with our progress.
Get to it already. How much did I earn from Fiverr in my first year?
This is it, what you’ve all been waiting for, right? I’ve included some screencaps below my Dashboard to back up what I’m saying. Someone always wants proof of this stuff, and I’m happy to provide it. All amounts are listed in USD and, when exported, are converted into AUD. I’ll give you the figure at the very end for the direct from Fiverr (via Payoneer) to my bank account Australian Dollar figure. Full disclosure here, I’m not hiding anything from the tax man.
The breakdown below shows each calendar year (and summary at the top of the page, spoiler alert, haha) and the ebb and flow of it all. There are months where I’m taking on more work than completing it (it only counts as earned when a Gig is Delivered) and others where I’m delivering a lot of work, booked the month prior. I find it all evens out in the end, and with holidays in December and July, I’m happy with the consistency of it all.
2021 Calendar Year (started August 2021)
2022 Calendar Year (to date)
According to my accounting software, I received $15,521.04 (AUD) into my business account in my first year on Fiverr.
This is net and is less various charges, deductions of my advertising, Seller Plus program fees and any purchases of services on Fiverr I deducted from my account. I mean, not too shabby, right? Especially when you consider that this whole thing started as a whim, and I didn’t expect much. Add to that the other work I’m doing, the referrals to my business and the general growth that has been part of the upward movement. I’m a happy girl.
So, if you ask me if you should investigate if a platform like Fiverr would work for you, I’m a big fat yes. I use it often as a Buyer and a Seller, which says a lot since I opened my account in November 2015 for a transaction as a Buyer that was eventually cancelled and didn’t open again until 2021. It might be worth another look if it’s been a while since you checked it out. It certainly was for me.
And before I go, here are my current gigs
My current Gig strategy is to focus on the primary photography Gigs consistently performing well. I’m using the Seller Plus program to gain access to additional Key Word information and Gig performance stats to enable me to choose the right keywords for all the right places. Do I think it’s necessary to do this to earn good money on Fiverr? No. But if you’re someone like me who loves to analyse a bit of data and hunt down the best keywords possible, I’d recommend it. Plus, your money is released in 7 days; I can’t argue with that when I’m on a 14-day withdrawal program for my cash flow purposes.
I’ve added a couple more to my profile since I started, but as you’ll see, they are very similar to when I began. This is what I’m running with right now (featuring the listing slides because who doesn’t love to sticky beak on how others are setting up their profile). And if you’d like to work with me, I’d love to have you. Head over to my Fiverr profile, and let’s get started.
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A couple of weeks ago, I received an Ask Suger talking about the changes they had been going through in their life and how they felt behind everyone else they knew. And it wasn’t that they were not getting what they wanted, feeling as if they were taking giant steps backwards. So, they wanted to see if I’d ever felt like that and if I had any advice. Phew, team, what a heartbreaker THAT was to read.
And primarily because, of course, I’ve been there. I promise you that we all have. Maybe it was as simple as changing a career when everyone else seemed to have worked out their dream job as a teenager. Or as significant as losing a partner, home or important career. For me, it was infertility and, later, tax debt that bought about my WTF moments. I’ve written about how waiting for somethingyou want changes you.
Feeling left behind as your peers move forward sucks. But what I think is really at the heart of it, for me at least, was feeling like I missed out. That someone else had what I wanted, and now there was nothing left for me. Of course, it wasn’t true; with time, I ended up in a different place altogether. But while I was in it, suffering and struggling to breathe, it sure felt like it was.
And then, there was the time we sold our home to pay off a tax debt – a big one. We’d just turned thirty, and inside of settling into this life we’d so confidently been creating, it all got stripped away. Living in my sister’s home, facing the mess that I’d made for myself (we had maybe, technically), it felt impossible that I’d have to start over. But, as impossible as it first seemed, which I think was my shame and embarrassment, it took one foot in front of another and a lot of support from those around us.
I’m wandering down memory lane like this because I promise you, we have all been there somehow. Feeling that you don’t have it together or that life is passing you by is something that happens to all of us. Sometimes it is. Yes, that’s a reality check we don’t want to hear but need to hear when it’s true. Maybe, like me and taxes, you need to try harder, create better systems or learn something.
Or maybe, you’re in the middle of getting what you want, and you didn’t even realise it? There have certainly been times when things were working out exactly as they should because I was looking for another way. Maybe those backward steps redirect you to the path meant for you all along? Perhaps you’re in one of the stages of achieving your goals and can’t see it yet? Whatever it is, know that I believe you are where you are because it’s where you’re supposed to be.
And sure, it’s not always fun and not always easy. But from here, who knows what is ahead of you and what adventure awaits? Do you know that old saying about being unable to see the forest for the trees? Maybe that’s you right now? Up to the eyeballs in trees. Hopefully, it makes you feel less alone and more supported as you move forward that we’re here with you.
There’s no such thing as the life you’re supposed to be living. No place to be or perfect ‘you’ve arrived’ moment of finality (until the end). Enjoy the ride, learn from your mistakes and have patience with yourself and what you want.
Where did I go? That’s the question I’ve been asking myself lately. How did I manage to disappear from my life? Somewhere around late 2020, I stopped documenting my life, being in pictures and outside of the weekly Suger News emails sharing. Where did I go? I don’t know. All I know is I was done with a grinding screech of an old metal brake. Gone.
And it wasn’t just the sharing of my life online that seemed more likely to be finished. Though, I did consider if I’d spent my time online and was ready to let it go. I’m not sure lip-syncing or dancing in short-form videos will ever be my thing. As a blogger, writer and photographer, perhaps my time had come and gone. And if it was time, I’ve had a good run. No regrets.
But in many ways, I’d also stopped living my life offline.
Working from home, it became easier to turn down invitations than to say yes. Soon my only interactions came via email, after-school care for my nieces and nephews and Desiree popping into the office once a week to assist. I’d shut down and closed myself off. Everything from food to shampoo, cleaning products to toilet paper was purchased online and delivered here. There became no need to leave the house, or so I thought, no good reason to go anywhere.
And as I got busier, taking on more and more new work and clients, it got easier to do. It’s not that people stopped asking, but I noticed they prefaced asking me anything with ‘I know you’re busy’ or ‘It’s okay if you don’t want to”. An extraverted introvert, I had thought this was what I wanted—boundaries and consideration for my homebody life. But soon, I felt it. I missing being around the people who light me up. The hole where my relationships had been. I missed being part of my life in a way I had so easily done just a few years earlier.
I wondered if it was the changes I saw in my body over the last few years, the loss of ability and the almost unrecognisable place I find myself. And I’m sure it was a factor in this society; how could it not? But I think it was my mind protecting itself. I was managing what I could manage and letting the rest go. I had set up a safe space filled with things to do and ways to survive – I’d kept moving forward. But now it feels like that safety net I so carefully built is holding me captive.
I’m missing, held hostage from my life.
Honestly, I’ve been trying to step back into my life for a while now, but I’m struggling to do so. Seeking a perfect, fast solution to a situation took me years to create; funny how we do that. So, I try to say yes and share a little more. There are more trips to the shops, collecting items I need in person instead of ordering them to be delivered. More day trips and small adventures, finding my feet with being around people again and learning the new limits of my body and mind.
And so, I take snaps with my phone even if I don’t appear in them yet. I let others draw me into their photos and try not to cringe when the result isn’t what I pictured it would be. I write my in a journal, finding the words to describe where I’m at and where I’m going. Using the pages to capture the weird and wonderful ideas that whirl through my head every day. I write there for me but practising that gave me the words to write here too. That’s enough for me at the moment. It’s enough to be at the start of finding my back (again).
Taking Shape is thrilled to reveal the first-ever First Nations designs by the highly regarded artist Elverina Johnson. A highly respected Gungganji Gurugulu woman from Yarrabah in Far North Queensland, Elverina is one of the Nation’s most recognisable and accomplished artists. Her belief is that arts can empower Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people and restore a genuine sense of pride in their culture and communities.
It’s been a little while since we saw the collaboration with Active Truth and (a personal favourite) Bobbi Lockyer (my insta share below) and it’s exciting to see more and more of these opportunities coming to fruition. I’ll never stop saying that we need to keep pushing and need to do more to be more inclusive, diverse and interesting than we’ve been before.
Collaborations are a great way to start, but let’s also support these creators, artists and makers when they do their own thing too. Get behind those teeny-tiny micro brands, IMO, that’s where the gold is.
The Taking Shape email goes on to say that with a shared passion for empowering women, promoting confidence and creating strong supportive communities, Elverina connected with her local Taking Shape in Cairns, a relationship that grew and lead to this beautiful, artistic collection. Enriching the fabrications with Elverina’s bold prints and traditional storytelling invites the wearer to engage with culture and country. Find out more on the Taking Shape website here.
“The traditional and very unique Australian country was my inspiration for these designs. In Yarrambah (FNQ) we are so lucky to have land and sea around us. My designs reflect the blue waters and the mussels of the ocean and the intricate designs of weaving, deep from within the rainforest. There is inspiration all around us, we just have to look” ~ Elverina Johnson
Welcome to my new series In My Inbox where I share updates and news from plus-size brands direct from my inbox. Want to keep me in the loop with your brand? Send me an email or shoot me a DM, I’d love to hear from you. Come across something interesting in your travels as a plus-size shopper? I want to hear from you too!
