Considering I was in my office this morning before 6 am, you’d think I’d be ready to roll with this email early, right? Apparently not. I got caught up making a few changes to the blog branding I had a dream about last night. Saying it came to me in a dream seems a little out there, but that’s kind of how it went.
I’ve been bringing the look of the blog and socials into 2022 and generally tinkering around behind the scenes for a while now. But I feel like I have found the final piece to the puzzle (along with some stuff I have happening behind the scenes). But why bother, right? I post sporadically at best; it hardly seems worth it.
Well, because I love it.
I love that it gave me this ‘job’ and life that I love. It’s shaped the way that I communicate and learn. So, it remains important and part of how I express myself. Something which I feel myself coming back to over and over again even as it stands quiet and neglected on the public side.
I know now, and trust, that it won’t always be the case. And sure, maybe there are not 100k likes or follows in my future, big brand partnerships or producing content for money. But maybe there will be space for me to find my feet again after a strange couple of years. Maybe there will be room for me to stretch what I know about myself and this thing I do there.
And yes, I am aware that this is a topic you’re probably sick to death hearing about.
Do it or don’t, you scream in the emails, do whatever you want, we’re good. But it is what mattered most to me this morning—sharing the spark of creativity, the bud of a blooming flower that marks the start of something new for me. It’s been a while since I felt free to express who I am.
Yesterday I posted the image above to my socials, and I meant it. I think we all do better and feel better when making something. Whether baking a cake, writing again for the first time in years (go Shae!) or finding new ways to do the things we’ve always done, it’s too easy in our day-to-day lives to get caught up in what we should do; the to-do list or workload.
But what if you gave yourself a moment to draw, paint, sculpt, bake, craft, write, sing or perform? To make something.
Thanks for always giving me the space; I hope you feel you are given the same room to create something too. If not, let me hold some open for you to fill. Consider this your challenge this week, find something that you can make, that you LOVE to make, and do it.
I was hoping you could find the time, I know your life is busy, but it will be worth every second. Express yourself, friend; it’s the only way to live this big, fully self-expressed life we’re going for over here. Go big or go home, right?
A couple of weeks ago, I received an Ask Suger talking about the changes they had been going through in their life and how they felt behind everyone else they knew. And it wasn’t that they were not getting what they wanted, feeling as if they were taking giant steps backwards. So, they wanted to see if I’d ever felt like that and if I had any advice. Phew, team, what a heartbreaker THAT was to read.
And primarily because, of course, I’ve been there. I promise you that we all have. Maybe it was as simple as changing a career when everyone else seemed to have worked out their dream job as a teenager. Or as significant as losing a partner, home or important career. For me, it was infertility and, later, tax debt that bought about my WTF moments. I’ve written about how waiting for somethingyou want changes you.
Feeling left behind as your peers move forward sucks. But what I think is really at the heart of it, for me at least, was feeling like I missed out. That someone else had what I wanted, and now there was nothing left for me. Of course, it wasn’t true; with time, I ended up in a different place altogether. But while I was in it, suffering and struggling to breathe, it sure felt like it was.
And then, there was the time we sold our home to pay off a tax debt – a big one. We’d just turned thirty, and inside of settling into this life we’d so confidently been creating, it all got stripped away. Living in my sister’s home, facing the mess that I’d made for myself (we had maybe, technically), it felt impossible that I’d have to start over. But, as impossible as it first seemed, which I think was my shame and embarrassment, it took one foot in front of another and a lot of support from those around us.
I’m wandering down memory lane like this because I promise you, we have all been there somehow. Feeling that you don’t have it together or that life is passing you by is something that happens to all of us. Sometimes it is. Yes, that’s a reality check we don’t want to hear but need to hear when it’s true. Maybe, like me and taxes, you need to try harder, create better systems or learn something.
Or maybe, you’re in the middle of getting what you want, and you didn’t even realise it? There have certainly been times when things were working out exactly as they should because I was looking for another way. Maybe those backward steps redirect you to the path meant for you all along? Perhaps you’re in one of the stages of achieving your goals and can’t see it yet? Whatever it is, know that I believe you are where you are because it’s where you’re supposed to be.
And sure, it’s not always fun and not always easy. But from here, who knows what is ahead of you and what adventure awaits? Do you know that old saying about being unable to see the forest for the trees? Maybe that’s you right now? Up to the eyeballs in trees. Hopefully, it makes you feel less alone and more supported as you move forward that we’re here with you.
There’s no such thing as the life you’re supposed to be living. No place to be or perfect ‘you’ve arrived’ moment of finality (until the end). Enjoy the ride, learn from your mistakes and have patience with yourself and what you want.
My skin has always been troublesome, bothersome, and a general pain in my butt. It comes from my father’s side. Prone to breakouts and acne that was not just saved for my teenage years. Often oily, always shiny, and now that I’m older, it shows signs of sun damage here or there and the occasional marks from kitchen accidents. It’s all there.
How, right? How do you get that bright glowing skin? You mentioned it, people on Facebook and Instagram. I’m not making this up. You can see it too. Because the one thing we ALL know is that without significant editing {and some go to the trouble, pfft, why bother} there is no way to hide blemished skin, dull eyes and lacklustre hair with an Instagram filter. You’ve either got it, or you don’t.
And how do you get it? Here are the five things I changed this year that left my skin better than it has ever been. They are simple, straight forward and designed around advice I collected from random people who happened to overhear my complaining. It’s simple, worked for me, and in most cases, it will work for you too. Medical issues aside. Ready? Let’s go.
One: I use a daily sunscreen moisturiser.
Wear sunscreen every single day. I picked up a simple moisturiser with a high sunscreen level, and I apply it every morning whether I’m applying makeup or not. Putting a stop to additional sun damage and adding moisture to my skin, leaving it plump and fresh. And perhaps I can keep an extra wrinkle or two at bay for a little while.
Two: I eat my greens, lots of them.
Eat lots of fresh fruit and vegetables. Drink them if you need to. This year we drank green juice almost every day of the 365 days of the year. People have commented on my tan and the general glow of my skin. Now I don’t tan and rarely apply fake; the only thing we can put this down to is the high volume of spinach and other hearty greens I consume in the same way too much carrot turns you orange.
Three: I keep it simple.
Clean your skin thoroughly every night before bed but keep it simple. I use a simple cleansing foam in the shower and remove it with a washer. After I’ve gotten out of the shower and dried off, I wipe over my face with Clearasil face wipes to target breakouts. I don’t wear moisturiser at night; I don’t scrub or poke or prod. I keep it simple.
Four: I like to work it, work it.
Sweat it out. Nothing does my skin better than a great workout. I come home, and my face is clean, clear and rosy. I love that. By all accounts, it cleans out pores and gets the blood pumping. On the nights I cleanse my face after a workout, there is much less residue on the washer than on the nights when I come straight from my day. This makes cleaning my skin simple; the sweat has already done the hard work.
Five: I’m a fish.
Drink lots of water, way more than any other beverage, by three times. There are guidelines for water volumes you should drink and things like that, but as a large woman who exercises regularly, I drink a lot more. So add more if you need to; flushing out toxins and other gunk is the aim.
What I have learned this year and put into action has given me the confidence in my skin that I never had before. My skin is better is the foundation of that confidence, and filters, makeup, or good lighting are the creams on top. It’s like beauty editors have been saying since the beginning of magazine time. Healthy glows are a real thing; in the end, it doesn’t take much to cause a change.
And that, my friends, is how I managed to get the best skin of my life.
Want to share your best skin secret? What works for you? Spill!
This question was a burning one that was let dwindle and snuff out. I am mid-way through a spring/summer wardrobe overhaul, and my wardrobe room is SO not ready for its close-up. Today I decided to sit down and write my tips anyway. Even though there would be no photos of my robe to accompany* because keeping edited wardrobe matters to me. Lots. Maybe it would inspire me to finish that clean-up and clean-out sometime soon. Who knows.
Keeping an edited wardrobe comes in a few stages; buying less, regular cleanouts and saying goodbye to items you no longer wear. If you own the system rolling over and over, you will always have a slimline wardrobe {in theory, let’s not talk about mine today} with pieces you often wear, form the basis of a stylish wardrobe and avoid double-up purchases. The gaps for wardrobe purchases required will be obvious. This sounds technical to say that you’ll know what you have when you have it and where it is. Got it? Right.
Right! The first step I mentioned was buying fewer clothes.
This is probably the key to the entire process. It would help if you stopped buying clothes you don’t need, want or are not going to wear. If you’re building a wardrobe, you may have a few more hits and misses than someone maintaining a closet, but the concept is the same. Stop buying so much stuff!
My problem these days is the number of samples I received as content for the blog. Often way more than one girl could need. Like, ever. So it becomes an ongoing thing to clean out the wardrobe, host sales {if the brands are okay with me doing so}, swap items or re-gifting them. So don’t let the excuse that you aren’t buying them or don’t know how the oversupply happened to stand in your way. Get active and get some items moving OUT the door.
Regular cleans-outs were next on my list.
I think seasonally is a good idea. It keeps things fresh; you get a good idea of what you have ready for the impending season and what will need to be replaced. What is now a laughable joke and what can be worn again {hello trend items!}. Keeping an edited wardrobe doesn’t mean you never get to repurchase a new season. It means you must part with some of the old before the new can come in.
I move around my jumpers and knits, swapping them with my swimmers and beach dresses. I rotate them in and out of a simple-to-access storage box. This prompts me to start moving things around as the weather changes and gets me ready when the new season releases are advertised. AND if I’m not reaching for the box for an entire year, then it’s simple, I don’t need them; they’re gone.
Don’t even OPEN that box.
That could also be the key to step three, saying goodbye. Put items you are considering getting rid of but not yet ready to part with in a storage box or container in another room of your house. If it remains untouched for some time, then it goes. No questions asked. These are not items you are reaching for daily. It’s time to go…
There are many reasons people continue to hold onto clothes after they are no longer being worn. They could be a one-day set, a memory holder, or maybe you are still planning to get up the guts to wear it just that once! Well, the time is now. Either wear it or throw it away {I say throw it away, this can mean sell it off, donate it or whatever works best for you}.
If you have a sentimental reason for keeping it, consider turning it into something extraordinary. I plan to frame a couple of event shirts to hang in my robe room: nothing tricky, just an Ikea frame and some double-sided tape. I love the idea of blankets made of pieces of fabric and things like that too. Consider a method to display these sentimental items so they can be appreciated.
And if you follow these three easy steps, you will soon have a considered, edited wardrobe. SURE it might take a few throw-out rounds before you part with that threadbare t-shirt you wore as pyjamas in high school, but you’ll get there. Take your time, be a little brutal and remember, no new stuff comes in unless some old stuff goes out. Make it your unique personal rule. Good luck!
*Oh, and you might notice photos of my robe room included. I finished that clean-up. Finally! And boy, does it feel good to have it cleaned out. I’ve got a short list of items that will move on next time if they don’t get worn to bring it back again. You’ve got to be a little brutal when you want an edited wardrobe… No man who gets left behind can not survive here. Haha.
Right, over to YOU. Any questions for me?
Have you got any tips that work for you when it comes to editing your wardrobe?
Now that we have ALL recovered from the wanky’ness of the title, let’s talk about health, eating well and beauty. In my opinion, of course. I’m not a medical professional; I’m especially not a beauty blogger. My friend Desiree would probably pee her pants laughing if I pretended for a moment to be so. I’m just me, being me telling you what I think I know.
And what I know is that what you eat and do impacts how you look—your looks. I found that the condition and quality of my skin {though prone to all sorts of madness}, nails, and hair SUFFERS if I’m eating poorly, not exercising or, most importantly, skipping out on the sleep. Any hairdresser, beauty therapist or health care professional will, I’m sure, tell you the same thing. You can’t fake good health.
I know, darn it!
I feel good when I am having my green smoothie in the mornings, when I pack a wholesome snack for work, and when I eat my big salad for lunch. I get to the gym or pool more often and drink more water. I think clearer, and things got better for me. Another side effect is that my skin improves. Where it usually is congested and dull, it becomes bright and glowy. Same for my hair. My eyes. Everything.
I’ve had bad skin on and off my entire life.
Sometimes more so than other times, there was no remedy great enough. So please don’t think I’m saying you can cure all with a good diet and some exercise. I’m not. I’m saying health shines from within. No amount of concealer, brightener or blush can give you the glow of someone taking care of themselves well.
So to answer the question, what do I use on my skin/how do I get the clear, glowing look? The answer is when I am well, very little at all. I use a face wash {morning and night}, some cleansing pads {twice daily, fight breakouts} and a 30+ sunscreen moisturiser in the morning. I wear makeup during the day but remove it as soon as possible.
And keep in mind that my photos are Instagram filtered and taken in nice light.
I don’t facially edit them. I think it’s important to note that if you look clearly at them, some days are certainly better than other skin texture-wise. You can’t hide when your health is suffering. It shows in your skin, eyes, and hair is suffering… Not even an Instagram filter can do that.
I try not to fuss if I have a blemish; leave it be. And finally, my friend occasionally gives me a facial or a peel. But that happens about as regularly as I clean my makeup brushes. {Not regularly at all. I’m gross}. The short version is that it shows in my face when I’m well, doing what I know to do. Even the blue of my eyes is clearer.
So that’s the answer to the question. For a healthy-looking glow, be healthy. Boring, right?
So I did that survey, right? Many people had questions, ideas and suggestions for topics to be covered on the blog. I LOVE that. So to give them a space to live on their own, I’ve started this little series. The Ask Suger series. It can be a question about confidence, life, health, food, fitness, clothing, style, shoes or anything in between. Email me your question at melissa@sugercoatit.com subject line ASK SUGER, and we’ll go from there. Now, onward.
How to decide what type of exercise is for you.
As I pulled up to the pool today, I finally had an answer to a question. Amy had asked, “how do you find an exercise that is right for you so you get the best results and stick with it?”. The answer for me is variety. I like to mix things up. And I want to have workout buddies. People who keep me accountable. But for some people, it’s all about working out alone. For others, it’s hiking or something with a challenging element—each of us has an exercise style. You have to work out which is yours.
So, I broke it down for you a little into the type of exercisers and my hot tips for exercise that would suit them. I’m not an expert, just a girl who loves this stuff. Consult your doctor or someone in the know if you have concerns. If everyone jumped off a bridge, would you do it? Etc etc. Ready? Let’s go! {Said the cheerleaders from Bring It On. Obviously!}
Then I’m with the Band
If you fall into this category, you love people—the more, the merrier. Being around them enlivens you, makes you try harder and want to do better. You’re the group exerciser—the team sports type with a love of rallying the troops and working out together. Solo running isn’t working for you; you’d probably get bored and jog on home. Find a group and get started today.
Try;
Classes at your local gym
Team sports; Hockey, Soccer, Football etc. etc
Bootcamps or group fitness challenges
Walking groups
The Up for a Challenge
You like an adventure. Your motto is “if it ain’t fun, I’m not doing it”. You want adventure sports and being able to push yourself. A personal best is something to strive for; you find that it motivates you and makes you get out there when you would rather stay in bed. If going somewhere, being outside or competing against yourself sound like fun to you, then you’re in the right place.
Try;
Rock climbing/Hiking/All things outdoorsy
Cycling
Half or Full Marathons
Crossfit
Anything that can be measured and beaten next time
The Zen-Master
If competition makes you break out in hives and you’d instead do anything other than attending a class called ‘Body Attack’, then perhaps you’re a zen-master. Low impact, quiet and focused on developing core strength, breathing and gentle fitness, the zen-master works well in groups but is just as happy working alone. You may want to look for workout at-home DVDs or join a local club. But chances are you’ll make up your mind in your own time.
Try;
Pilates
Yoga
Swimming
Walking
The Rinse, Lather, Repeat
You like repetitive exercise. You want to master a skill and develop it as you improve your fitness. Your worst-case scenario would be asked to do something you don’t know how to do in front of a group of strangers. You want to see what you are doing every day so you can get in and out. You’re probably very busy and don’t want to think about it.
Try;
A program developed for you at your local gym
One-on-one boxing
Running/Jogging/Walking
Swimming
The Lone Ranger
You love the alone time that can come from the time you put aside to exercise. You’d rather spend this time focusing on the process or processing something from that full-on life. Other people distract you and detract from the feel-good vibes.
Try;
Hiking/Running/Jogging/Walking
Exercise DVDs
Solo sports like archery, paddle boarding etc
Cycling
There you go, my friends. My tips for finding a type of exercise that suits you. And if you’re still on the fence, confused, or this has been a wee bit useless for you, I recommend just getting started. Do a trial at a gym and start an off-season team sport {they’re usually shorter and less of a commitment}. Get out there and work out what suits you and what sort of exerciser you are.
Did you see yourself here? What type of exercise are you?
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If you have any more questions about this topic or any others on the blog, shoot me an email at melissa@sugercoatit.com. Put ASK SUGER in the subject line, so I know what it’s about, and so does my spam file, the overzealous thing it is. I may feature your email {I’ll ask first!} in an upcoming post. Worst case scenario, I’ll answer your question or pass you on to someone who can. So it wins/wins.
