A couple of weeks ago, I received an Ask Suger talking about the changes they had been going through in their life and how they felt behind everyone else they knew. And it wasn’t that they were not getting what they wanted, feeling as if they were taking giant steps backwards. So, they wanted to see if I’d ever felt like that and if I had any advice. Phew, team, what a heartbreaker THAT was to read.
And primarily because, of course, I’ve been there. I promise you that we all have. Maybe it was as simple as changing a career when everyone else seemed to have worked out their dream job as a teenager. Or as significant as losing a partner, home or important career. For me, it was infertility and, later, tax debt that bought about my WTF moments. I’ve written about how waiting for somethingyou want changes you.
Feeling left behind as your peers move forward sucks. But what I think is really at the heart of it, for me at least, was feeling like I missed out. That someone else had what I wanted, and now there was nothing left for me. Of course, it wasn’t true; with time, I ended up in a different place altogether. But while I was in it, suffering and struggling to breathe, it sure felt like it was.
And then, there was the time we sold our home to pay off a tax debt – a big one. We’d just turned thirty, and inside of settling into this life we’d so confidently been creating, it all got stripped away. Living in my sister’s home, facing the mess that I’d made for myself (we had maybe, technically), it felt impossible that I’d have to start over. But, as impossible as it first seemed, which I think was my shame and embarrassment, it took one foot in front of another and a lot of support from those around us.
I’m wandering down memory lane like this because I promise you, we have all been there somehow. Feeling that you don’t have it together or that life is passing you by is something that happens to all of us. Sometimes it is. Yes, that’s a reality check we don’t want to hear but need to hear when it’s true. Maybe, like me and taxes, you need to try harder, create better systems or learn something.
Or maybe, you’re in the middle of getting what you want, and you didn’t even realise it? There have certainly been times when things were working out exactly as they should because I was looking for another way. Maybe those backward steps redirect you to the path meant for you all along? Perhaps you’re in one of the stages of achieving your goals and can’t see it yet? Whatever it is, know that I believe you are where you are because it’s where you’re supposed to be.
And sure, it’s not always fun and not always easy. But from here, who knows what is ahead of you and what adventure awaits? Do you know that old saying about being unable to see the forest for the trees? Maybe that’s you right now? Up to the eyeballs in trees. Hopefully, it makes you feel less alone and more supported as you move forward that we’re here with you.
There’s no such thing as the life you’re supposed to be living. No place to be or perfect ‘you’ve arrived’ moment of finality (until the end). Enjoy the ride, learn from your mistakes and have patience with yourself and what you want.
Recently I was watching Sex and the City and as a thirty-something trying to do her best to run a business, live life and prepare for the future I found myself adding up the outfit changes and designer pieces, the apartment and meals, not to mention the taxis.
Sure, I don’t know much about living in NYC, but I know what everyone knows. Something doesn’t add up here, financially. With all this money was being spent on clothes, what happens next? With her money right where she likes it, in her closet, I couldn’t help but wonder, was Big Carrie’s retirement plan all along?
Was marrying money her only plan to take care of herself in her retirement years? And, after years of working for myself, with very little super to show for it, am I relying on the same plan? Though I’m very happy with the husband I have, so maybe the marry rich ship has sailed. Haha. But I’m talking about the STRIKE IT RICH retirement plan. The one where it doesn’t matter what I do and spend now, one day I’ll be rich (through marriage, inheritance or luck) and it will all be fine. It doesn’t exactly sound like a safe bet, does it?
Women and Superannuation in Australia, let’s talk about that.
It makes you think, right? Especially given that stats say 44% of women rely on their partner’s income as the main source of funds for retirement. (the study does not distinguish the sex of the partner). Half of all women aged 45 to 59 have $8,000 or less in their superannuation funds, compared to $31,000 for men (source articles linked below). Let’s break that down a bit.
This shortfall is due to a number of factors including providing care for children, being paid less for work they do and increased levels of working part-time and therefore being below contribution minimums. An estimated 220,000 women miss out on $125 million of superannuation contributions as they do not meet the requirement to earn $450 per month (before tax) from one employer (as many women work more than one part-time job).
I’m not an expert, by any means.
Living in the regional area that I do, with a mother who sold real estate, buying a house was one of the first things I ever did with my money. Chalk that one up to privilege in so many ways. And during my relationship with Kel, there have been times that we were able to own multiple properties at once.
Ultimately, retirement for me right now looks like paying off my house then trying to save as much as possible when I’m done. That’s not advice, but the way, I’m not in any way a professional or in a position to offer advice to you. It’s the reality of my current position. And I’m one of the lucky ones in the sense that I have a home and I’m in a position where I have the means to pay off that home.
For now anyway. What if the worst happens?
Something that women in my position, myself included, need to consider is what we would do if we lost our partner through death or divorce. Especially if that partner happens to be an income-earning male. What happens then? All the articles I read recommended getting quality advice from an accredited professional that you can trust (my brother is a financial advisor, talk about the best of both worlds).
Next is to start saving super early especially if you are able to co-contribute or increase the standard rate. This is where good advice comes in so handy, take your payslips or latest tax return and get advice on how and where you can increase your superannuation savings. Recent statistics show that the gender pay gap is currently at 17.2%, which means females only earn 83 cents for every dollar earned by males so we need to make what we have stretch longer.
And keep in mind, those statistics are based on the Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS), Cat. No. 6302.0, Average Weekly Earnings – Trend data, February 2011 (released 19.05.11); there are plenty of women, including black women, women of colour and trans women who these figures are even worse for. Whenever and wherever you can safely ask for that raise, support your fellow workers to do the same and call out these inequalities when you see them.
Lastly, it’s important you choose the right fund for you, your income type and how you plan to contribute to your super. I can give you the right answer here, but again, that’s where good advice can come in. It’s also important to consider the type of places your money will be invested and whether that fits with your principles.
My final thoughts
Phew, that was a big one. This post was rolling around in my head for a while and I needed to share it. Mostly because I know that a lot of you are in the same position as me where you are working for yourself, part-time or are in the position where you are caring for others or yourself and not earning an income outside of the home. We are often overlooked in the conversations around retirement and saving money. I didn’t want this blog to be another place that happened.
So, team, I hope this gives you some food for thought and a kick in the bum if, like me, you need it. So, I’ll end this post there, but remember what my mum used to always say if you marry for money and you’ll earn every cent. We need to be standing on our own feet when it comes to the financial aspects of our lives as much, if not more, than in other areas. Financial security is the ultimate freedom, in my opinion, so let’s work together and develop that muscle together.
Some links to read about women and superannuation in Australia
I’ve displaced myself again. As I mentioned in the email on the weekend, I’m having the floor of my office and the adjoining patio fished with epoxy. So, that meant time to pack it all up again. Which is, I have to say, a pretty smooth process these days. Changing my mind about the layout and inclusions has been a significant part of my procrastination plan for 2020/2021. A method that has seen tremendous success and returned surprising results…
Most surprising of all being that I manage to get anything done at all!
What can I say? I have a gift for procrastination. When everything first shut down in March 2020, things changed for my business. The momentum and trajectory of the business took a hit, and even a year later, it doesn’t feel like we made it back—a frustrating thing for someone like me prone to always looking for more and pushing onwards.
Procrastination is a symptom of that, I believe. It was showing up through moving the office, buying new gear, reading the next book. Not to mention watching entire season’s of shows on Netflix and taking long naps. I’ve tried journaling and colouring in, learning new things or testing my limits. I signed up for Medium to write more and built my profile and gigs on Fiverr to create and photograph more.
In the end, I can’t feel like this time has been wasted. That’s the thing about procrastinating at a pro-level as I do. You’ve got the wiggle out of it skills to avoid the work but still get things done. Sometimes I need reminding that good stuff can and often does come from these periods of ‘waste’. By allowing myself to procrastinate freely and diverge from the plan, I’m giving myself the space to create and discover. To embrace procrastination as a part of my process.
Just next time, I hope it doesn’t cost me thousands of dollars worth of epoxy.
For now, here are some photos from before the work gets started with all my office loaded into what we use as a side entry that was once a dining room. Why not embrace procrastination a little more with a photo gallery of snaps.
Can I just say that I’m so excited to say goodbye to the orange/red outdoor paint? Well, I am, and not just because when it’s wet it’s treacherous. Later this year we are getting the roof restored and when we do, the trims in a similar colour (you can peep them in the photos before) are going to be painted a charcoal/dark dark grey colour. Old house life, the work is never done. But man I love this house.
I wanted to talk about goal setting and planning your life. But I didn’t want to be one of those people pushing the whole new year/new you bullshit. You should know that from the start. But I’m all about creating my life, and I want that for you guys too. No matter the time of year or your experience of where you are right now it’s a perfect time to set some personal goals for yourself, your life and go for it.
The idea for this came to me as I once again sat on the floor of our living room surrounded by mixed media paper, pens, markers and coloured pencils, scribbling ideas and notes, thoughts and doodles on the pages. Smart goal setting is something we do around here whenever the urge takes us. We sit down and plan whenever the urge takes us to dream big and lay out our hopes for the year.
So, I want you to start there.
We talked about what to do when you feel like you don’t KNOW what you want — when your dreams are small, squashed by the reality of failure. I’ve been there. Don’t get down on yourself for being vague about what you want. Read that post, chip away at that wall you built up between you and your hopes. I promise you it gets better.
But if you’re feeling a little bit jazzed about what this new year has to offer, then grab out whatever inspires you to dream. For some of you, it will be making a collage or a vision board. Others will be like me and want pages of multiple coloured lists and mindmaps. Or maybe you’re into lists (who isn’t!?). Whatever it is, grab a bit of space and empty everything of your head onto the page/whiteboard/notebook.
I highly recommend the coffee table strategy, but a dining room table works too; wherever you’re comfortable and less likely to be sucked into doing something else. And a bonus for those with kids around, I’ve found my nieces and nephews love this activity. Can’t beat them? (School holidays? I know, hang in there). Let them join you.
Of course, you can scribble and doodle your way through this (there’s no right way to enjoy goal setting), but I also included some prompts to think about as you go along;
Completing what’s happened
What am I grateful for?
What’s been my proudest accomplishment/moment?
What did I do this year that I never thought I would?
What surprised me this year? Good/bad/other.
What didn’t go to plan this year? (decade? Haha).
Am I proud of who I was when things went wrong?
Who am I?
How would you describe yourself as a person?
How would others describe you? (the ones that matter, of course).
Would you describe yourself as happy with your life? If yes, why? If not, why not?
How do I feel about my life right now? What feelings come up when you think about your current situation.
Dreaming about what’s next
What am I grateful for?
What matters to you most?
What makes you smile?
What’s important to me right now?
What do I want for myself? (This year?)
What do I want for my family?
What does my ideal day look like? How would I spend it, what would it feel like, where would I be, and who am I with?
Taking the next steps;
If I could change one thing about my life/situation/job, what would it be?
How do I feel about my life imagining it with that change implemented?
What do I need to do to make that change?
Who or what do I need to succeed?
Are there steps to take to get that one thing?
Can I take them now? If not, now, when? What do I need?
I think if you start imagining, writing, drawing, collaging with those things in mind, you’ll be in a pretty good spot. Not just to make a workable plan (let’s talk about that below) but to get excited about what’s to come. I love sitting down and first reflecting, then imagining what could be possible for me, then starting to look forward. Try it; I want to hear all about it. Email me or share it in the Confident You Facebook Group. I often use the group to talk about the newsletter as it comes out – join in.
Now, let’s start goal setting!
Now, it’s time to take those scribbles, mindmaps and lists and turn them into a workable plan. A workable plan is something that inspires you and keeps you on track. Sounds good, right? It’s pretty simple, really. We take the outcome of your last activity and narrow it down into a few focused goals. I would limit your number here. There’s always time to come back and add more when you’ve kicked these in the butt. But how do you do that?
Planning the work.
I find that within my notes, there are usually themes. Ideas and thoughts keep popping up. Maybe you want to move to a new area or house, learn something new or take up a new hobby to get you out more. Whatever it is, as you ponder the year ahead and the prompts I gave you, a few key ideas will pop up. Write those down!
These are your goals; and, funnily enough, will be the foundation for the goal setting to come. Wishes, dreams, or whatever makes you more comfortable, but I’m going to stick with goals for the sake of consistency and not doing my head in. Haha. Sticking with the house idea, I don’t want you to write down ‘MOVE HOUSE’; I want you to really get into it. Something more like “I want to move in THIS SPECIFIC area into a home with lots of natural light, good transport access and a yard for a dog”.
Trust me. The specifics will make this whole process go a little easier. Speaking of making this easier, if you head over to the blog via the link below, I have uploaded some goal setting worksheets there to help you along. The first page is a list of the prompts I gave you last week. The next will help you with this next task. From there, you can work through the pages as I direct you here. Want them now? Grab them on our RESOURCES page anytime or download the pdf goal setting worksheets here.
Whether you have one item on your list or you added something to all eight boxes, it’s time to move on. From there, we work out what you would need to do to GET that one thing. For you to HAVE it. And again, there is a sheet (two in this case) for this.
For demonstration purposes, back to the house example.
Your HOW might look like; I need to make sure my current rental/loan history is good, get two impressive references and know my budget. From there, I might search for a suitable property in the area, speaks to a local agent, loan broker or trusted advisor (etc. etc. etc. etc.). Got it? The HOW are all the things that you can do to get there and make it smooth sailing (the groundwork).
This list may grow and adapt over time. There might be things that you don’t know you don’t know about getting what you want. For example, if you had never baked a cake, you wouldn’t know how important eggs are. Or greasing the pan. These are things you find out along the way, either through mistakes or talking to experts. Add them to the list! But then, I don’t want you to stop at making a list of things to do.
After you’ve done that (or done for now) I want you to add a due date or a deadline to each of them. Be reasonable. You may want to put a week to prepare your references or find an expert. I see it time and time again. Yes, you want to be optimistic, but this isn’t about daydreams. Ground your timeframes in what is actually achievable, and you will have way more success than if you don’t. It’s like having a savings goal of $15,000 when you earn $40,000 a year; it does not compute, you know? Reality bites.
With that said, and you gave free rein to write down some ACTUAL deadlines, go for it. I want you to genuinely consider how long it will take you, goal setting in the real world, to do these things and write that down next to them.
Working the plan.
Now you take all those tasks, those milestone events, and you add them to your planner/calendar or however you manage your life. Don’t have a way to manage your life? Get one. You’re going to need it. Haha. Because none of this happens if it stays a bunch of scribbles on a page. using this time to set goals for yourself is your chance to take it from there to something that lives in your future reality.
For some of you, this is the time to get someone to hold you accountable. Someone that will hold a POSITIVE space for you to go after what you want. But I will also call you on your shit if you’re slacking. I know I work better when I have someone to check in with and have always found Kel to be my biggest champion (and butt-kicker, as required) in this.
For you, it might be a friend, a relative or even us. In theConfident You Facebook group,We will hold that space for you to achieve the goals you are setting for yourself. Whatever you need. And make sure you take me up on that offer if there’s no one else in your life to keep this space for you.
And by the way, that’s not your fault. Sometimes people can’t see where we are going, and we don’t need them to. If they love us, they’ll come around (or not). Please don’t stop your journey or get stuck where you are for someone else or their approval. That will never work out well for YOU. For them, maybe. But not for you. And now, it’s time to move forward with that plan you made. We are going to talk more about what it sometimes takes to work that plan.
That it’s not really what you want.
Are you just box-ticking? I’ve been guilty of this more than once in my life. Sometimes with big stuffand sometimes with small things. If you look at the steps towards making your dream a reality, and it doesn’t do anything for you, that’s okay. You might have gotten caught up too. Spend some more time with the coffee table prompts. Slow down, stop imaging the things you think you SHOULD want and see what shows up AFTER those things.
Missing some steps or weren’t specific enough.
If you looked at your steps, you were excited, motivated, or any version of inspired, great! But then you feel something else; this could be you. Your goal setting or plan has holes, and you’re falling right through them. Successful goal setting is about covering all the bases; take a little more time to be more thorough.
Maybe you’re someone who needs to know how things go, and you can’t see the path. I have bad news for you, friend; you have to give that KNOWING EVERYTHING thing up. It is an excuse, and it’s holding you back. Life is weird and twisted, ever-changing and surprising. You will NEVER know how it’s all going to work, happen or unfold. But trust me, that’s the exciting part too.
Or maybe you skipped through this part of planning too quickly. Are the little things on your list? Is there something that you can work towards ticking off while the large tasks take time? Give yourself more to do. In my opinion, there is nothing more motivating than giving yourself a checkmark. Find more reasons to do that, as well as steps you may have missed, and you might find yourself moving forward.
Afraid of what might happen if you get what you want.
I put this one third because if you’ve tackled the first two, maybe this is what’s going on. All kinds of things could be going on. These things don’t have to stand in your way. Not forever. Not if you’re brave enough to tackle them head-on.
People say they are scared of success (will it change them or the people and life they love?), afraid of trying and failing (maybe being in the middle isn’t so bad), fearful of looking stupid in front of family and friends (avoid at all costs!). My running commentary aside, it’s time to ask yourself now, what am I afraid of? Too direct? Try thinking about what would happen if you got everything you wanted?
Think about the people around you, your experience with them and strangers, what you have, and how that makes you feel. Is there anything in all of that imagining that makes you feel uncomfortable? Anything that when you think of it doesn’t make you LIGHT UP?
Start by looking there. I think the thing getting in your way is in there somewhere. Be patient with yourself and be kind when you uncover what there is to find. The good news if there is something there, it becomes a whole heap easier to put that CRAP to the side. And putting it to the side is the perfect place to move past it.
Worried your family won’t love you if you make more money than them? Or maybe you’re afraid your partner will leave you if you start demanding more of them? Or a million other things that are personal to you. Some of them pretty crappy.
Maybe you’re right? To be honest, some of them might be true (people can be shitty sometimes). But when it is all said and done, it’s YOU or THEM? Seriously. Are you going to let everything you want for yourself go because it might cost you someone who doesn’t support you anyway?
I know the answer to that, but you need to figure that out for yourself. Draw your line in the sand. Reclaim your dreams for yourself and do it for yourself. Nothing will empower you more to go after what you want than that.
That’s my goal setting 101 guide, phew!
Motivated to get started? Ready? Well, what are you waiting for? Get out there and start ticking things off your goal setting list. Go back to the start of these planning emails if you need to (link in the top right) and start again. That’s the best part about any plan is that you can scrap it and start again anytime. You can change your mind, direction or intention ANY OLD TIME YOU LIKE. It’s your life. It’s your story. Today, we write it.
He asked me to catch up in a cafe. I’d been working for his family for years at this point, and he wanted to know more. More about me and my life. Where did I see myself in five years? What was it that I wanted for myself and my life? I know now that what he wanted was a way for them to help me get there. To see me achieve my dreams and goals, but at the time, I didn’t know.
There was a brief flickering of the usual suspects; weight loss, more money, happy ever afters. But as far as what I REALLY wanted. What was going to be MY line in the success sand, I didn’t know. I cried (sobbed) because it felt like such a stupid thing to not be able to answer. Who doesn’t know what they want? Who doesn’t understand why they get up in the morning or have something to inspire and motivate them. It seemed ridiculous. And the last thing I wanted to be in front of this person I admired was ridiculous.
Let’s be honest; the snotty ugly cry wouldn’t have helped.
Hear me when I say; I know what that feels like. I know what it is not to see the answer to a question that people seem to answer so quickly. Where do you see yourself in five years? What inspires you? Tell us about your goals or your biggest dream! Terrifying. All entirely sob inducing if you don’t know the answer, or in all honesty, have never taken the time to think about it.
I just always assumed I had some idea. But by this stage, the ‘perfect’ series of life goals had already started to crumble. I’ve learned that sometimes you don’t get what you want and that life isn’t always fair. There had been loss and grief, highs and lows, and challenges that I never expected to face. There had been lessons to learn, but it had never occurred to me that I stopped dreaming. The girl with the plan, all about those goals, was here with nothing. No idea. And no clue where that part of her had gone.
That day something changed.
Not only did I take on the challenge of some personal development courses, but I started to ask myself more questions. That day I began to question everything. Why did I want the things I wanted. Who decided that they were for me? And, if it hadn’t been my choice, then was it something I wanted. It took years of this to develop anything more than a wish list of consumer items and surface-level goals. I wanted more money, time and things. Fine.
Then, as I got better at wanting, I learned to dream again. To focus on a picture of my life as I wanted to live it. A life of creativity and freedom. Sure, I’d need money for that, but the ‘why’ became stronger than any bill that I wanted to have paid. And pictures started to form in my head of days spent making, of free time with family and friends, space to explore who I am and the things I enjoy. I started to see, very clearly, what I wanted and, more importantly, who I wanted to be.
I’m creative, a maker of things, and I thrive on freedom, love and space.
From there, I started to create the life I wanted. Not by making yet another list of things to do, by chipping away at everything that was not that. There I was, years from that first conversation, and I knew what there was for me to do. Finally, I could answer the questions. It’s been about five years since that happened to me since I started to create a life entirely around what I wanted. It hasn’t always been smooth sailing, but the course has been steady. I wanted you to know that.
If you are stuck, surrounded by new year/new me goals type posts based on envisioning the year ahead but not knowing where to start, I see you. Know that you don’t have to have it all figured out – I’m not sure we human-types ever do. Start asking yourself more questions about your life; that’s my one tip. Question everything and start to determine who or what designed this life you have. Forget the five-year plan or the goals for 2020.
Get to know yourself instead.
Take this new year, heck this new decade, as a chance to get in touch with yourself and what you want again. Start a conversation with yourself that lasts the entire year. Be kind and let it develop slowly. There is no rush – you don’t need to know what you want or where you are going right now. That’s where ‘they’ get you. It’s a lie. You’ve got time. Practice checking in with yourself. I know, for me, that’s top of my list of things to do in 2020. So why not make it yours?
Last week, when we talked about life, Danielle wanted to know what happened with the pancake shop about being more open with my story. Did you know I had a pancake shop? Haha. I wonder if you did.
Its name was Whispers, and it was a pancake and crepe cafe. I purchased the existing business and settled on it weeks after my twenty-first birthday, refurbished and updated equipment, and went for it. That cafe was where I first cut my teeth on what it was like to work for myself.
It was hard – short version.
But not for the reasons you might think. Cafes have notorious schedules, and you have to be there the majority of the time. And that’s just opening hours. There is also cooking, ordering, marketing, catering, book work and staffing. Plenty to do to keep you busy. I flipped more pancakes in those years than most people will in ten lifetimes. Haha.
I loved it. The coming and going of people. The new ideas and changing the scenery of a cafe. There was never a day that looked the same as the one before. And I love coffee… I pretty much drank enough coffee for a small country in those few years.
It was the best.
The Saturday morning’s when the cafe felt like having many people over for breakfast was my favourite. Kel and I would often handle these morning’s ourselves, him madly flipping and filling pancakes while I took orders and made coffee. Writing this now makes me smile at the hustle-bustle memory of that.
At night we would do private events and parties. Dusting off the banquet type servery and offering a private and fun space for people to come and celebrate. That cafe was my first experience of creating community in business, a lesson I’ve taken with me always.
So, where did it go wrong?
In a lot of ways, it didn’t. It did OKAY in the most average of ways. It supported Kel and me when we needed it to. We managed to keep our heads above water, the staff paid and pay most of our bills (me and the tax department, that’s a story for another day).
When I sold the business, I knew that it would support the new owner and that there was enough in the sale to settle any outstanding bills. That said, I didn’t recoup the money I spent in the beginning. I was okay with that; it felt like the money I paid for my education in business. Worth every penny, even if today I would do things a little differently.
I’d had a crash course and survived. I was proud of that.
When I went into it, however, fine wasn’t what I was looking for. I was going to make it THE BEST. I had ideas about how to market the business, build up the catering side and make it a unique offering in the town. I did some of that. But I also did a lot of not that.
Being responsible for yourself and your output is difficult to master. Or, it has been for me anyway. I found that sometimes I just couldn’t be bothered or didn’t want to, and when that mood struck, it was impossible to motivate me. It’s hard to learn that about yourself, trust me.
I also learned that I was a know-it-all. Try not to be surprised. Haha. I’d watched my parents in their businesses and done a few semesters of a marketing degree. I thought I knew everything. My family would try to have their input (based on tested industry experience), and I thought I knew better.
Easily the biggest downfall as a young business owner.
It’s a lesson I only really learned in the decade that followed. Knowing when to trust my gut and listening to others was hard for me. I had it all tied up in being independent and standing on my own two feet. I’ve always been called spoiled or entitled because of my parent’s success, and this was a reaction to that.
But it doesn’t work. Sure, I had to follow my instincts about some things, but some fundamentals, had I not been so stubborn about doing it myself, wouldn’t have been the hard-fought lessons they were. I could have been better, done better, had I just been patient and spent a little more time listening than speaking.
Heck, 35-year-old me still needs that advice sometimes.
So, there you go. That was my first ever experience as a business owner. I loved it. Business has always fascinated me, and I knew with absolute certainty that working for myself was my ‘thing’ since forever. Do you have a business or blog? Was it like that for you too?
When it comes to blogging there is only ever three questions I get asked. The one that this post centres around is how do you make money on your blog? Especially since at various stages throughout my career it’s been my full-time job. I don’t blame anyone for asking that. I love to talk about money and business, so let’s do that.
In this video, I take you piece by piece through anything that I’ve used now, or in the past to generate money. Even if it wasn’t much! I did this to not only answer that question but so that you can start to create a business plan for your blog. As far as I’m concerned, the more transparent I can be, the shorter the learning curve will be for you.
How to make money on your blog!
Let’s break that video down a little, shall we?
My income streams include the following;
Paid Content
There are two main ways I generate income with paid content; on my blog and off of my blog. There are the opportunities to do editorial style content in the form of blog posts, photographs or crafting shares for other social media platforms. Then there are the times when brands are looking for me to create content for their blog or social media. Whatever the end location of the post, I always stand for being compensated for my time.
Ad Revenue
Ad revenue is one of those things that used to make up a larger portion of my income but has basically been replaced. From using Ad Networks such as AdSense to delivering my own banner ads using third parties or Paypal. Ad revenue isn’t something to be sneezed at, but no longer makes up a part of my income strategy. I’m just not that into it.
Affiliate
For me, this is the fastest-growing income stream on my blog. Long neglected I have been working with Skimlinks (so easy!) to increase my revenue by over 500% (from not much to more than a little, haha). For a fashion and lifestyle blog, there isn’t a more effective, but less intrusive, way to generate income from the activities you were doing anyway. By taking a percentage of sales referred from your blog, everyone wins.
eBooks and Courses
Creating my own eBooks {and courses, one day} is one of those long-term strategies for the blog. Over the years I’ve built up a bit of a library of books and workbooks that I’m proud of. As I move forward I hope to continue to add to that range and increase the offering. If you’ve never checked them out, pop over and take a look. Let’s just say, I didn’t really pick one subject and stick to it. Haha.
Something I forgot to mention in the video was that you can also be an affiliate for other bloggers eBooks and courses. If you’re interested in a certain subject or already do a lot of talking about a product, you should reach out and ask for an affiliate program or link. I did this early on with Sarah Wilson ‘I Quit Sugar’ books and they were excellent because I was already talking about it.
Workshops and Consulting
Last, but not least, absolutely not least, is the work I do behind the scenes. As a builder of websites, social media consultant and workshop-type person. Which, is a pretty long description but it’s got a lot of stuff to cover. I love doing workshops and consulting because blogging and social media is something I could talk about for days. There’s really no better way that I know of to make a living than doing something you love. I’m a lucky girl indeed.
And that, my friend, is how I make money on my blog. I’ve covered off on everything that I’ve given a shot over the years and tried to detail why I still use them or not. I hope you find it helpful, or at least interesting. Let me know if you have any questions {I tried to cover off on the ones you asked on Facebook or Instagram within the video}.
Living your greatness? I know what you’re thinking, how do you even do that? How in a world filled with jobs and mortgages and other more major concerns do you find a way to be who you are and live that? I’m asking. Really. I have some ideas on the subject, obviously. This post will be pretty lame otherwise. But what do you think about it? DO you think about it?
Where does your greatness lie?
One of my favourite quotes is the one in the image above. Don’t wait for the world to recognise your greatness. Live it, and let the world catch up to you. It implies that you won’t always be met with cheers or acceptance of what you want for yourself. It infers that you might find yourself somewhat alone in your endeavours, I think. It’s right, in a lot of ways you will find yourself standing alone with your big dream, your goal or your greatness in hand and there will be not a soul in the world who gets it.
But for me, that’s the exciting bit.
Not you against the world, but you selling the world on who you are and why you’re awesome. Not to convince them because you need them too, but to share your gifts with them. To say it’s ok, I know you don’t get where I’m coming from here, but I do, and I’m ok with that. To live your example of your best life and let others see it.
This little light of miiiine, I’m goin’ let it shiiiiine.
Sheesh, those school songs really stick with you. Haha. Anyway, it’s true. I am on the board of my local Women’s Health Centre; I know, I know, I’m so useful and stuff. But I bring it up as an example of living your greatness with your life, in your life and as your life. The women that operate this centre spread their arms wide to women and their families every day of the year. They do it in service; they do it for the love of it and they do it because who the heck else will? If not you, then who?
That’s the thing about living your greatness; it’s yours. It’s so personal to you that you HAVE to be the one to do it or it won’t get done. The only way is if you start doing it. Start taking those steps towards it existing every single day for you. Then take those steps until they become so ingrained in you that, like the women of the Centre, you are living it. And people, well those people will have caught up because greatness doesn’t stay hidden for long.
Where do your passions lie? Do you feel that you’re on track to living with passion and greatness? I know I’d love to hear about it if you have.
I finally got around to finishing Mindy Kaling’s book. I’d opened it and been distracted by other things at least 5 times throughout 2015 and it turns out that a hot summer beach day is just what I needed to knock it over. Front to back. An easy read full of laughs and humour, I’m sorry I didn’t read it sooner. I should have known, who doesn’t love Mindy, right?
But it taught me something.
Yup, this light, easy read taught me everything I needed to know about how I want to blog and express myself in 2016. And it has nothing to do with starting a new career in television and movies. I know, I’m shocked too, flair for drama and all that.
This book, filled with random thoughts, essays and ideas reminded me of my first love. Writing. it reminded me of the notebooks and the pens. The pencils and stationary. Man, I loved to write. I mentioned that last week when I committed to write more. Daily, in fact. But I’d forgotten and reading this book reminded me.
And it didn’t just remind me of that but it reminded me about the endless consumption of books and stories and content that once filled my time. All. My. Time. Just like Mindy, I know the similarities are uncanny. And I mean content content, not the super fun but like candy for the brain Buzzfeed type content. Real, actual books with ideas and everything.
But most of all, it reminded me to write.
To write about people, about things, about ideas and thoughts and not to care if there was for no other real purpose than to write them down. Seriously, there’s a list of possible movie ideas in this book that I could have written myself. I laughed out loud as I read them thinking, yup it turns out that Mindy Kaling is me in an Indian woman’s body. A wildly (and widely, thanks spell check) successful version of me, obviously.
So I left the sandy beaches I was laying on as I read the book and immediately pulled out my laptop. I wanted to write. I felt INSPIRED to write and I didn’t care what about. This isn’t even the first thing I wrote. I wrote about my relationship, about a dress I wore once that wasn’t me and bunch of other stuff.
Heck, I almost made a list of my own movie ideas should the need ever arise for me to share such ideas with someone who wanted to make a movie with me. Which, now I write that, is probably a grossly insulting thing to say. Like hard work be damned, they’ll just come to me because I’m awesome. But yeah. That happened.
It’s how everyone gets a random movie script offer, yeah? Thought so.
Let’s face it, I’m not even that funny.
Has that ever happened to you? The book thing, the inspired thing, not the movie thing? But actually, if the movie thing happened to you, you HAVE to tell us. Haha. Have you ever read a book, devoured it, and found that your spark for something you love is rekindled? I think that’s the power of words, of books and of stories.
I mean once, I attempted to be a better person because I read What Katie Did.
I was born into a real estate, errrr interested, family. My parents had owned farms and investment property before I was born and later would open their own real estate office in my hometown. Houses are in the blood, what can you do? With that being the case, I purchased and moved into my first home at 18 years old, renting out the additional rooms to make ends meet. Later, when I moved out of the area, it would become my first investment property.
That’s property investment and me.
I had bought a block of land and employed a builder to build my first house from scratch. The low budget block was steep and the back retaining wall was taller than I am (which is pretty tall) because of the cut required to fit the house. The house was simple, fit for someone to rent and had plenty of room for me to improve the property before I put it on the market.
That little home, my very first, would become the best investment I’d made in the property market to this day. I chose a suburb that was at the start of a major development project; there were countless homes under construction, the makings of a thriving suburb without an overwhelming demand to inflate prices. Strong rental yield, cash positive, and a growing suburb to ensure future demand in the area. It was a smart property investment. It ticked ALL the boxes.
So property investment and you? How?
And that’s the point of this post. That for those looking to enter the property investment market, you need to figure out a few things for yourself. Things like what your goals are, whether you are investing for income generation, rental returns, to turn it over for a profit or hold it longer term. That’s where sites like Homesales come in handy with their investment property search tool. They allow you to search for property based on YOUR investment goals. Want higher rental yield? Search for that. Want a particular rental yield percentage? Use tools to search for properties that meet your requirements.
Over the years, I added and subtracted from the properties I owned as my needs changed. But property will always be where it’s at for me. I mean, you don’t become a property manager and stay in the career for a decade if you don’t like houses. Liking people helps too, but houses mostly. So if you’re interested in property investment and want somewhere to start, then take a look at the investment property search tools.
Questions always welcome in the comments. Because property; I like it.
Bet you never thought you’d see a how to be a good wife in a post from me, yeah? LOL. Me either. But hold off on clicking away, I haven’t gone mad… Not much, anyway. Haha. The headline promises to tell you how to be a good wife, daughter, sister, friend (you could add mother, but I really don’t want to tell you mother types what to do, not being one and all) and I’ll do that. It could almost be one line;
You have to put yourself first to be a good wife.
It has zero to do with dinner on the table, a tidy house, well-presented eyebrows or candle lit sexy time. Zip. And to be honest, if that’s what it was about there’s no way I’d be writing this. You know me, damn THE man to the end. Luckily, that’s not the case.
To be great in life, to be a present and caring person in the front row of your life you have to be taking care of yourself first. Numero uno. Not debate about the pressing needs of parents, of spouses or children. You need to look after yourself and to be a crazy ninja type, with mad defensive skills to protect your right to do that. Full stop.
Now I’ve gotten myself into hot water on more than one occasion taking on too much. This week has been a bit like that for sure. Lasting on only a few hours sleep per night, especially towards the end fo the week, I was wrapped up in the million and one project I had running and forgot to care about myself.
The honest truth of it is that I’m so unfit at the moment it’s not funny. A simple walk, over a reasonable distance, will leave me flushed and a little out of breath. Red-faced and blotchy is not the life I carved out for myself.
I’m not sure what happened but somewhere along the way I lost the drive to live a healthful life. I compromised myself for a range of things that hang in the balance if I don’t get my backside (literally) into check.
You need to be about you. You need to be undivided in the attention you pay yourself because you matter. And you are a heck of a lot better for those around you when you are well, full of health or have some room to breathe. There is nothing team player about being too exhausted to participate in your life.
Lately, I’ve been cranky. Like next level cranky, irritable and downright snappy. I get pushed over the edge ridiculously fast. Not fun to be around at all. Not for long anyway. And I can no longer blame it on a lack of sleep, or numerous simultaneous deadlines. I am not taking care of myself and it’s starting to show. And not just in my attitude.
I arrived at the pool the other morning, after getting over the initial shock of the cool water, I started to swim. Within 50m, I was finding it hard to do more than 2 strokes to every breath. Hmmm. On the return trip my pace slowed and my arms felt heavy. It’s going to take something to get back to where I was, I thought to myself.
And it will.
It’ll take making time for myself every day. Not to drink wine as a way to wind down, but to exercise and cook and take care of myself mentally. I’ve lost a lot of the fitness I was proud to call my own and I’ve been hiding that from myself and from others wherever I could.
In a lot of ways, this post is about coming clean. About fessing up and saying that no, I haven’t been living the life I want to lead (not in all aspects anyway). I will look after myself so that this blog will continue to operate. I will take better care of my mental health because I know that being exhausted is a major trigger for me. You can expect me to do better because around here we lovingly demand that of each other.
That, my friends, is how you be a good wife, a better sister and friend, an awesome mother and daughter. You recognise that your self-care has gone somewhat out the window (when it has) and you readjust. I will take better care of myself because I deserve it and because those around me deserve the best version of myself. For the longest possible time.
Let’s face it, there’s nothing sexy or cool about burn out.
OMG. I want to share with you something of a success I had this past month. Not to boast (ok, maybe a little). Not to even garner any woohoos (though woohoos would be nice). But to say to you that sometimes you just have to LOCK IT IN, manage that deadline and jump!
I hosted my first Instagram for Business workshop in my hometown. Why? Well, I said I would run a workshop and I did. WOOHOO. I’ve spoken at workshops and blogger days before and even co-hosted an event in Brisbane with Danielle the wonderful. But this was the first time I booked a date, organised all the things and relied solely on myself to make it happen. I even committed 2 and a half hours to content I wasn’t sure I knew how to fill.
And you know what, it totally did happen. And it was great!
And what did I learn?
I learnt that sometimes you just have to go for it even though the idea seems a little bit crazy and you’re not sure how you’re going to pull it off. Sometimes you have to, as the old saying goes, let go and let God. Or in my case, let go and let goodness happen. Because it does, but not without some hustle.
This past month has been one of the busiest in the history of either of my blogs, between challenges, sponsored content and personal commitments I have been running around with a to-do list stapled to my forehead. But somehow, somewhere in that madness, I made the time to write, plan, schedule, promote and finally deliver, this workshop. And do you know what I think the secret to that was?
A deadline.
A hard and fast, people had put their money on the line, deadline. I had to make it happen because I said I would and people were counting on me. I had to be ready and have all my ducks in the row otherwise people would leave disappointed and never return. Or worse, want their money back. Money that was long gone to ASOS, but that’s another story.
Having a deadline, with people counting on you to deliver, is a motivating thing. I don’t know about you, but often I say I’ll do something, and it doesn’t quite work out. I don’t hit the mark, or it goes by the wayside. It’s a frustrating habit most of us have. Over time this knowing yourself as someone who doesn’t finish the thing, which lets the deadline slide past, who didn’t make it because a loop about who you are.
You need to nip that in the bud. In the butt too. Find a way to keep yourself accountable. Put something on the line. Hang yourself from the cliff with one arm and make it impossible for you to get out of there without moving forward. Find your why. When I booked that workshop my why was crystal clear. I wanted something so badly that I didn’t consider the consequences of failing, I just did it. A strong reason why will do that to a person.
That said, it didn’t mean in months that followed my proclamation that there wasn’t a hundred and one times that I could have bailed. There was. I’d booked the original date on the Monday of a long weekend. I’d set a price that people were happy to tell me was too high (pfft). I had a venue not work out and another turn out to be too expensive versus the size of the group. I really, really, really didn’t want to finalise the workbook or my key talking points.
The urge to quit is strong in this one.
But I didn’t quit. I really wanted to. But I didn’t. And then it happened, I said I would run a workshop and I did. Go me. And in the end the why, got me there. Having a firm deadline with something riding on it, got me there. Not wanting to look like a total wanker, got me there. And it will get you there too.
That’s the point of this rather boastful, look at me type post. I want to encourage you to take on something today that you’ve meant to do for weeks, months or even years. I want you to put your bum on the line. Set a deadline that scares you a little and go for it.
