Monday was our 13th wedding anniversary. This dude and I are the lucky holders of the 13 years of marriage, 15 years together, trophy. Which, they tell me isn’t a thing but I’ll raise it high anyway. Because marriage is hard and making it work can be harder.
Can I be honest with you?
Pffft, of course, I can. Some of the smugness I felt about the success of our marriage has worn off in the last couple of years. You never know how things will go and it’s pretty naive to believe that it will never happen to you. I feel like I have a healthy respect for what it takes now. That’s got to be a good thing, right?
Challenges and new horizons have pushed us recently. Nothing major, just the day-to-day of life and our evolving expectations of ourselves and each other. We’re growing and changing again. And for now, we are doing that alongside each other. I’m proud of us for continuing to have that conversation.
That said, I have settled way too comfortably into the habit of complaining about the annoying things he does rather than celebrate the good. My Dad warned me about that! Do you remember I wrote a blog post about it? He was right. It just crept up on me, and I was harping on everything. Not good.
Attitude adjustment required!
Despite that, we love the life we have created together and we love each other. For whatever annoying, niggly habits we both have (dear lord, I’m a nightmare) one thing I know for sure is that he is generous, kind, loving, and will always laugh until he’s red in the face with me.
He does this thing where even though he thinks my choice of YouTuber usually sucks, he asks about them as if they’re my friends. (They are, aren’t they?). He asks me to catch him up on their lives and will sit and laugh at the stupid adventures they have. It’s a small thing, but that involvement in something that I love, matters.
And the bins, dear lord. I hate the whole bin day thing. Almost as much as I hate how repetitive the dishes are. So every week, without fuss or circumstance, because he knows I hate that job, he just does it. It happens, I have nothing to do with it, and I’m so grateful for that.
That, my friends, is where I’m going to wrap up this little ode to this marriage of ours. It seems to be an annual event now, the reflection and sharing of where we’re at. I love that about blogging; the words are there for years to come to look back on and enjoy. Or just remember. I’m glad I made the time again this year.
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Header photo by Amy Skyer on Unsplash
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Hi! I’m Melissa Walker Horn. Around here, they call me Suger. I’m the Chief Blogger and doer of all the things here at Suger Coat It. Blogging since 1901; I love a casual ootd, taking photos, and writing about things that irk or inspire me. I love wine and cheese, long days at the beach and spending time with my family. I make stuff for the internet over at Chalkboard Digital. You know, living the sweet life.
Happy anniversary! If I could remember what year I got married in… nope. Haha. I’m just not good at that.
Thanks, lady! We linked it on Facebook years ago, it keeps track of it now. Haha.
Congrats!!. . . raise your trophy high and celebrate with each other. Not many of us can raise a trophy like this, so take care of it and dust it off every once in awhile. . .
http://www.madamtoomuch.com
Haha. Thank you, Neti. I’m grateful for what I have, I’d gift it to everyone if I could. That said, what I’m really going to do is to be better, and make that my words in action. xo
Congrats and wishing you at least 13 years more.
Thank you, Pat! When I think of 13 more, it seems like SO LONG. Haha. But here’s hoping. xo
Suger I do remember the blog post you wrote about celebrating each other and having each other’s back, not complaining about your partner to people. I took that on board all those years ago and really made an effort to focus on the good stuff and talk up my husband. I had a rule that if I had a problem with him, I had to discuss it with him first. Then I could whine to my friends 😁
A few of my friends commented over the last few years that I always spoke so highly of Frith, and it was something they wanted to do more in their marriages.
Frith passed away at the start of this year, and I’m so glad that I honoured him and our marriage as much as I did. And I have you to thank for that shift in attitude. I will be forever grateful for sharing your life with us xxx
Thank you, Renae. I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. I’m glad you were able to honour him while he was alive in the way it sounds like you did. I’ll be sure to let my Dad know that his advice has had such an impact. xo
congratulations! your right its the little things we need to be gratefull for in life and in marriage.i too have a good partner that supports my hobbies even when he doesn’t understand them….he hates facebook lol.
It’s nice, even when there’s not common ground, that he’s interested. I get the effort required in that, dude loves fishing, and my eyes glaze over. But I try! I think when you’re trying, you’re doing okay. Haha.