Monday was our 13th wedding anniversary. This dude and I are the lucky holders of the 13 years of marriage, 15 years together, trophy. Which, they tell me isn’t a thing but I’ll raise it high anyway. Because marriage is hard and making it work can be harder.

Can I be honest with you?

Pffft, of course, I can. Some of the smugness I felt about the success of our marriage has worn off in the last couple of years. You never know how things will go and it’s pretty naive to believe that it will never happen to you. I feel like I have a healthy respect for what it takes now. That’s got to be a good thing, right?

Challenges and new horizons have pushed us recently. Nothing major, just the day-to-day of life and our evolving expectations of ourselves and each other. We’re growing and changing again. And for now, we are doing that alongside each other. I’m proud of us for continuing to have that conversation.

That said, I have settled way too comfortably into the habit of complaining about the annoying things he does rather than celebrate the good. My Dad warned me about that! Do you remember I wrote a blog post about it? He was right. It just crept up on me, and I was harping on everything. Not good.

Attitude adjustment required!

Mr Suger 2018 | Suger Coat It

Despite that, we love the life we have created together and we love each other. For whatever annoying, niggly habits we both have (dear lord, I’m a nightmare) one thing I know for sure is that he is generous, kind, loving, and will always laugh until he’s red in the face with me.

He does this thing where even though he thinks my choice of YouTuber usually sucks, he asks about them as if they’re my friends. (They are, aren’t they?). He asks me to catch him up on their lives and will sit and laugh at the stupid adventures they have. It’s a small thing, but that involvement in something that I love, matters.

And the bins, dear lord. I hate the whole bin day thing. Almost as much as I hate how repetitive the dishes are. So every week, without fuss or circumstance, because he knows I hate that job, he just does it. It happens, I have nothing to do with it, and I’m so grateful for that.

That, my friends, is where I’m going to wrap up this little ode to this marriage of ours. It seems to be an annual event now, the reflection and sharing of where we’re at. I love that about blogging; the words are there for years to come to look back on and enjoy. Or just remember. I’m glad I made the time again this year.


Header photo by Amy Skyer on Unsplash


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