If you’ve read anything I’ve posted on the blog in the last two years, the very few and far-between snippets from my life, you would know it was struggle-town over here. Population me! Anxiety was at an all-time high, sending confidence and self-esteem flying out the window and running for the hills. And if you didn’t, now you’re caught up. A genuine crisis of confidence makes it very difficult to show up a blog with a literal (e)book on the matter.
But when I started to plan to clean out my closet, deciding what could stay and what could go, I knew I needed to work out what my style even looks like now. I’m about to be 42 (where does the time go?), and it’s not holding me back from knowing what I like or want; it’s the big hole where my confidence used to be. So, I started a Pinterest board. Of course, I did; I am a millennial, after all, and I started formulating an idea of what I like and what appeals to me now. Piece by piece, I built this idea until I had a clearer picture of what I wanted and how I would move forward in the cleanout. Go me!
Except that the idea of being in photos again makes me wince full-body.
And the mortgages are mortgaging, so there’s not a lot of play money to rebuild; I’ll be relying on what I have now, some of which are in a different size from what I wear now, adding to the genuine yikes factor of moving forward. But trying not to get stuck, I keep digging through what I have. For my entire adult life, I’ve worn between a 20 and 26 in dress sizes. So, there’s flexibility there. Yes, most of my cool denim is a size 20/22, but I’ll decide what to do once I’m back in the swing of things. It’s the swing of things I’m finding difficult.
So, I’m hoping to take the time along the way not just to clean out what doesn’t fit or work for me anymore in my closet but to rebuild my confidence and nurture my self-esteem—rebuild them, too. And through that, I can find my style again and enjoy the play and joyfulness of it all. Enjoy getting dressed, going places, and spending time with people who aren’t my husband or my dogs. Maybe it’s time to review some of my old Confident You blog posts like some of you have told me you’ve been doing. Whatever it takes, I’m following the Khloe Kardashian way of thinking that the forties will be one of the best decades of my life, so it’s time to get started. Properly.
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Yes! Go you.
I might need to do something similar
Sounds like a plan. It feels like it could be part of rediscovering myself from the toes up!