Random things like birth order. The number of nieces I have versus the number of nephews. The amount on either side. Often I keep looking until I can find a symmetry. I’m sure that’s some sort of disorder but it helps to make things make sense for me. I like patterns. I like numbers. I like lining things up. I know it’s odd because when I share my WOW moment with others they give me a look like, oh that’s lovely, and move on. And I want to throw a parade.
That feels like a big revelation, like an insight into the depths of my mental health or something. Or not. Maybe it’s just a weird little tick. Who knows. All I know is that as I went to send my second message for the morning to someone who I’d seen a pattern for I realised I needed to tell SOMEONE. And you guys are my someone. So thanks for that.
You know what else there is to say? How nervous, excited, bored, hopeful and sick in the stomach I am about the workbook release. The crazy part is {like I said to a friend this morning} I know you like the content. It’s already been unleashed on the public. I just hope you like it, find it valuable and all that in its NEW form. That makes me nervous. I am however sick to death of looking at it. Writing about it. Using the word budget. Looking at my own face on the cover. That may have been a mistake. Haha.
The boredom is what tells me it’s time. Time for it to be launched into the world. And soon, I hope {for the subscribers at least} it will be. The official release date is the 1st of November. Which is today a week away. So there’s not too much time for worrying about how it will be received. And by it, I mean me, of course because that is what the concern really is. That people won’t like me. That I will have failed. That I will put myself out there and find that I was faking it this whole time and have now been revealed as the loser I truly am.
Ahhh that little jerk that resides in my head is having a field day today. Funny how that happens. I remember writing the Confident You series and every single post dragging up some feeling of inadequacy in me. I had to face every lessons learned again. Choose to be confident again. It’s like that. I feel exposed. Especially since I didn’t keep my whole hipster if it works it works, if it doesn’t it doesn’t, I don’t care façade up very well. Hipster fail. Hand back your tortoise-shell glasses. You see I care. I care very much.
Being out on a limb, weird patterns, eBooks and all is the best place for me to be. It reminds me, I’m alive.
Hi! I’m Melissa Walker Horn. Around here, they call me Suger. I’m the Chief Blogger and doer of all the things here at Suger Coat It. Blogging since 1901; I love a casual ootd, taking photos, and writing about things that irk or inspire me. I love wine and cheese, long days at the beach and spending time with my family. I make stuff for the internet over at Chalkboard Digital. You know, living the sweet life.
I have a little jerk like that in my head too. I think it’s normal to worry and be nervous when you’re showing the world something you worked so hard on. But I don’t think you’re a loser and I don’t think you’ll fail. I know everyone will love the workbook!
Thank you Sarah. Those little jerks are just that, aren’t they, total little jerks.
Another quote: “You miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take.” I believe that we fail if we don’t do.
I look at my daughter who runs cross country for her high school. She runs on heart and guts with little talent and finishes last or next to last in every race. I am proud of her because she is OUT there. In contrast, her brother has talent in cross country and does well in meets (usually top ten) and has talent but will capitalize on it. He says “I will not do this next year, it is too hard.” Who do you think I respect more.
By putting yourself out there. You have done more than 95% of the world.
Thank you Pat. This is such a great reminder. Much MUCH appreciated.
“and have now been revealed as the loser I truly am.”
Oi! That’s my friend you’re talking about missy! My friend who excels at basically everything she does. Who puts her heart and soul into her blog and all that is associated with it. Who wants people [me included] to have the same body confidence and happiness that she has, hence why she strives so hard to make it obtainable – Confident You Series, this up & coming ebook.
My friend who is the complete opposite of a loser. My friend who inspires me to the best me I can possibly be. My friend who has faith in me, even when I don’t have faith in me.
My friend, who rocks.
x
You are right, of course. That little jerk in my head doesn’t get much ripe these days but when it digs it’s heels in it’s hard to kick. Thank you for your kind kind words Rach. They are so very appreciated. x