Don’t EVEN get me started on this one. Don’t even. There is an assumption out there that if you spend your time considering how you look and what you wear that you are superficial and somehow unworthy of serious consideration. I’d never really thought about it before. I’ve always liked to take time considering what to wear and how to put an outfit together, it has always been an expression of me.
Who knew that the impression I was sending was dimwit?
Certainly not me. But just last week I was told by someone who I’d met a few times here or there that they didn’t have time for such things. That in the scheme of things it didn’t seem important, silly even. I could feel my what the heck lady frown line kick in. Nose scrunch and everything. I wondered to myself as I stared at her if there was any way that she had missed the fact that I write a blog about fashion… Did she just call me silly?
Awkward.
And no I don’t want my blog to be recognised by some official importance authority and deemed to be worthy of caring about. It’s not about that. It’s about the fact that we as women are told that you are either smart, or pretty. That you can care about important things like politics and starving children, or you can care about rot like make-up and fashion.
This is one area that you can have both. Have it all if you like.
It’s probably one of the areas in life that it’s true. You can have it all or none of it and each decision is okay. That’s what I want to say most today. I want to say that women who care what they wear, take the time to apply make-up and do their hair probably do it to feel good. Who are you or I to call them shallow or less serious than a woman who wouldn’t.
My motto is that the days I get to it, I get to it. The days I don’t, I don’t. I’d hate to be judged purely on appearance but let’s face it, that happens to women all the time. It’s something that makes me want to shake people. No I’m not a dim-wit if I care, no you’re not less attractive if you don’t. Let it go people, let it goooooo.
So now that I’ve finished having my saaay, let’s talk about this outfit. It’s about as comfortable as these things get, leggings with an oversized top, open moto jacket. And I didn’t even have to do my hair. Easy. Like I said earlier in the week on the Defined Image Facebook page {when it was shared there}, I love this look because all the textures of the materials work together to make it interesting.
And it’s got this tough chick vibe to it.
My obsession with leather, pleather and monochrome continues, obviously. I have this thing about trying to push the boundary and see if I can make it work in black, white, grey and denim all the time. It’s like a mini challenge. I’ve actually taken off items with colour to replace them with grey. Ahh well, a girl has to have her little challenges and a bit of a play in her wardrobe. It’ll make Spring that little more exciting.
Moto Jacket – via Curvy Cartel
Oversized top with panels – 17 Sundays {oooold baby}
Skull Scarf – Diva Accessories
Pleated Pleather Leggings – ASOS Curve {Also available in regular}
Ankle Boots – Target Australia {similar}
Leather Cap – eBay
Hairband? Bloggers own. Haha.
Do you care about your clothes and make-up? Ever feel judged for doing so?
And about pleather, I’m obsessed, right?
Hi! I’m Melissa Walker Horn. Around here, they call me Suger. I’m the Chief Blogger and doer of all the things here at Suger Coat It. Blogging since 1901; I love a casual ootd, taking photos, and writing about things that irk or inspire me. I love wine and cheese, long days at the beach and spending time with my family. I make stuff for the internet over at Chalkboard Digital. You know, living the sweet life.
OMG Melissa – You so rock that outfit!
I don’t often comment, as I’m usually weeks behind (struggling to catch up) – but you look fabulous. Pale blue obviously suits you and those leggings are amazing! The scarf is so cute, but the hat – meh – you have such pretty hair. (Now I sound like my mother)
Re other’s comments – well, if I worried about that sort of thing, I’d never get out of bed LOL!
Thank you muchly. And tell your mother version of you that my hair will be down sooner or later. In fact I normally wear the hat with my hair down and straightened, so best of both worlds. 😉
I don’t enjoy applying makeup or doing my hair, so I don’t. I’m jealous of those ladies who are good at it though! I like occasionally wearing makeup if someone applies it for me properly lol, same with hair. I like fashion even if I wear t-shirt and leggings most days I really appreciate the effort put into caring about one’s appearance.
I was very similar. No real interest in doing it myself, had no idea how really, but then started learning a bit here and there and now it’s something that always amazes me the difference/changes you can make with a brush.
*STANDING OVATION*
well said, lady. well said. x
Well thank you muchly Rah. x
Ohhh I wish I was one of those women who actually took the time to plan what she wears, who took pride in her appearance to the same level as you [and plenty of others] do but I’m just not and like you’ve been judged for taking pride, I know I’ve been judged for not doing so but meh. I culled around 70% of my wardrobe, so it would just be a case of grabbing something clean and going.
I look at your blog and Dani’s and Olivia’s and I find myself wistfully wishing that I was into fashion, so that the simple act of slapping on some makeup [I do occasionally wear it but only a bit of BB Cream] and wrapping my body in some fabulous clothes, could make me feel fabulous and confident!
Of course this is a two way street. It’s when the assumptions your brain makes come flying out your mouth that I have a problem. We all have those snap, 2 second ideas but I do my best not to assume I know a person based on what I see.
Maybe were working away at you and you don’t even know it yet? Haha. luring you over to the dark side with our shiny things.
oOoOo the dark side! I’ll get there one day Mel, your pep talks help x
Haha. Glad to hear it!
I have been that woman who said, “I don’t have time for something that shallow.” And looking back now, with 100% painful honesty, I can tell you what I was truly saying was, “I don’t think I am worth it. Other people are more important than me.” Hard to hear, but true. Now, I am not saying a woman should napalm everyone around her, ignoring the needs of family, blowing the family budget on shoes and makeup. But what I am saying is, if a woman thinks painting her nails a cute color of polish is shallow, she is probably struggling with how she feels about herself. Hope that didn’t come out too harsh – just trying to keep it real.
Thanks for sharing that Cindy. Not too harsh at all, absolutely possible for some women out there to be feeling the same way.
Okay, so you knowing what- she’s lying. I don’t care what high and mighty ‘oh I don’t have time for those sorts of things’ shite comes from her mouth. Maybe she hasn’t done her hair, maybe she hasn’t put on makeup and clearly she hasn’t planned her outfit the day before. But I betcha a million dollars she brushed her teeth and CHOSE what outfit to wear that morning. If that isn’t caring about your appearance I’m not sure what is! Not a bloody chance she just picked up any two random pieces of clothing and put them on. What a wanker. I wish I was there so I could have told her off. X
Haha. You absolutely would’ve told her off. And that passion, I LOVE about you. You’re right, of course, there HAD to be thought behind the decision to get dressed and ‘not care’. Absolutely.
Wow I obviously haven’t been here for a while… LOVE the layout Mel!
As for the comments from this lady, I think we are all guilty of making assumptions about people based on superficial factors at one point or another and I think this post is great for reminding us that assumptions are just that! Everyone is different and unique with their own interests and priorities and we don’t need to be judging each other on that 🙂
Thank you muchly. Not that long, a couple of weeks I’d say.
We absolutely are, judgements is the way the brain processes information quickly. But that doesn’t mean that the filing system doesn’t need to checked every now and then.
Unless she was wearing pyjamas in public, then she needs to shut her trap, because she obviously DOES care on some level. Perhaps if she spent more time on enjoying clothes that make her feel good, she’d spend less time passively aggressively putting others down in order to make herself feel better. BOOM.
Agreed! And even pajamas has a certain level of I’m too cool to care about what society says I should wear thought in it. 😉 HA. BOOM indeed lady.
hmmmmm….if you don’t have anything nice to say…
Haha. Indeed.
To me, taking time and consideration over how you look is about being proud of who you are. There are varying versions of this from caring about fashion and whats ‘in’, to simply wanting to present yourself as a tidy, clean person. And tonnes of versions in between. The way we dress is a part of how we communicate and interact with the world around us. When I am feeling a bit down, putting on a certain pair of boots and a certain dress helps me face the world. Getting home and dressing down in my favourite trackies gives me a sense of relief and comfort. The outfit I worse to a wedding on the weekend makes me feel invincible!
My point is, most of us think about what we wear to some extent, depending on the message that we want to send to the world. Writing clothes and appearances off as silly is, well, silly! And more than a tad condescending. I certainly dont think about my outfits as much as you do. That doesnt make me better than you or vice versa 😛 It simply means that you have more of a flair for it than I do and is exactly why I love reading your blog!
I agree totally, your first paragraph is absolutely how I see things. A way to express and boost and enjoy. And yes, I totally agree that it was condescending.