It wasn’t the long ago that I was posted on the blog about that gorgeous maxi dress that people loved on me, that didn’t feel right. I shared some thoughts and feelings around that and pondering about why that may be the case. Then I saw a post on Fat Girl Flow and it occurred to me exactly why that was. I’m rebelling.
I’m dressing in the way that I love despite all the messages out there that tell me otherwise. More colour, brighter prints, flattering shapes and details. It’s just not me and by choosing to ignore those messages and channel a sporty vibe, a laid-back street style, I’m saying no thank you to people who still insist on telling me how to dress. Because god forbid if anyone figures out that I’m fat.
Girly dressing isn’t my style, we all know that, but there is an underlying theme in plus size clothing towards this ‘flattering’ hourglass shaping clothing. Girly, clothing. Let’s face it. Feminine prints and styles made to emphasise the breasts, the waist, dainty ankles and wrists, and the pretty face. Did you even know an outfit can do that?
It can, it’s all about lines and neck shapes. Google it.
And it turns out, that when you wear clothing like peplums (been there) and a-line dresses (hello, so been here) you get pats on the back for how flattering your outfit is. Bonus points for being more acceptable. And ladies, I don’t say this to disrespect anyone’s personal style, I’m saying this is the case in general. Like the hourglass (exaggerated hourglass, hello Kardashians) is celebrated in the general community, it’s celebrated in plus too. If you can be fat and still have the cinched waist of a woman half your size, that’s a win.
Except well, I can’t fit into that mould. When I try to fool people into thinking I have an hourglass figure, it doesn’t work. You can’t fake a butt easily, let me tell YOU, I’ve tried. You can’t fake a tiny waist and narrow shoulders. Sure, you can try to, you might even get there a little bit, but in the end, I was never going to fit the ideal. Like, ever.
So I decided to wear what I WANTED to wear instead. I stepped back from the hundreds of offerings and started to look at the clothes I was pinning. The pages and pages of off-duty model pics I’d pinned and I realised, I never once wanted their body (that’s progress!) but I wanted their style. I wanted the ease and comfort of simple. Then I decided, for probably the fiftieth billion time in my body love/plus size blogger journey to say fuck it.
Fuck it, I’m going to do what I want!
And I have, mostly, from that day forward. Sure it’s difficult when I go looking for a special occasion dress to find anything that goes close to what I imagine myself wearing but I make it work. Because every time I wear slouchy joggers over a pair of skinny jeans, I feel like I win a little. Not because I hate girly styles but because they aren’t ME, and I’m doing what I want. It’s a win because I’m in charge, I say what I wear and no one, no amount of shallow praise for a flattering outfit will ever convince me otherwise.
So what say you? Are you wearing a style that you love or are you wearing what you can get?
Hi! I’m Melissa Walker Horn. Around here, they call me Suger. I’m the Chief Blogger and doer of all the things here at Suger Coat It. Blogging since 1901; I love a casual ootd, taking photos, and writing about things that irk or inspire me. I love wine and cheese, long days at the beach and spending time with my family. I make stuff for the internet over at Chalkboard Digital. You know, living the sweet life.
Can you tell me where you got those jeans then?!
I think they were from BeMe, from memory. It was a coupe of years ago now, if not more. If they don’t still have them, Embody Denim have a pair of flares (up to a size 22) that I’ve always LOVED the look of.
OH MAN. This actually really resonates with me, despite being one of those girls who wears the feminine, bust-enhancing, nipped-in-waist, peplum, A-line, fancy shiz. But the difference is, I didn’t feel like me UNTIL I found that style. Different strokes and all that. Which isn’t to say I don’t still work a rock-chick-fuck-you-chic outfit like nobody’s business. That’s one of the things I really love about the style I’ve developed for myself. My outfit on any given day is typically representative of my mood. The world is my stage and I’m not afraid to stand out from the crowd. Oh except if you might notice my tummy. Gotta hide that away. Except NOT anymore! Lately I have really had an epiphany. I’ve been holding myself back from wearing some amazing outfits because they’re figure hugging and don’t ‘hide’ my tummy. As if no one knows it’s there. Pfft yeah right. I’m only fooling myself. Nothing wrong with a little tum, I happen to think mine’s kinda cute. So I got over myself a bought a dress that I’ve been lusting after but was previously too afraid to try. It’s for a special occasion and come the first weekend of November, I’m gonna rock the fuck outta that dress tum and all!
I’m SO glad to hear that you said, to hell with it, and bought the dress you love! That’s what it’s about lady. THAT. Wearing what you want and having fun with your personal style. I’ve met you, you have loads of fun with your style and I’m glad to hear that’s just getting better and better. x