I’ve been a busy, busy bee today. I worked until 1pm, had two appointments and a date with my friend to swim some laps mid-afternoon, then it was home to create SEVEN juices and smoothies for tomorrow’s post before photographing everything, editing and finalising the post. Phew. So just as I finish yet another round of catch up on my bookkeeping and plan to go to bed I think to myself, it might be nice to write something.

Well okay than self, I said, you better make it good. Eeeep. 

It’s been an interesting start to the year over here. Lots of perfect days combined with some not so crash hot days. Lots of love and laughter and some not that at all. I’ve been motivated, excited and flat all at the same time. The power to nap is strong in this one, let me tell you. I have this nervous, anxious feeling most of the time. I hate when that happens. I don’t talk about it much, the anxiety I suffer sometimes, but it’s here. It’s often here when my routine and diet are out of whack. I know better.

The anxiety is the sort that will convince me that harsh words will never be forgiven, that love will leave and sunny days are the last there is to be had. Ever. To breathe becomes something that requires attention. It’s crippling and exhausting. No amount of deep breaths and calm words, back rubs or camomile tea will calm me. Then as soon as it comes it peaks and then starts to fade. It fades a little now. I breathe easier.

A friend asked me once why I don’t talk much about depression, anxiety and mental illness on this blog. The short version is that this is my happy place. It takes up a relative amount of blog real estate to the amount it impacts my life, if that makes sense. I share here with the intent to improve my life and the lives of others. Sharing has its place. For all of us it works differently. Some share lots, some little. I say whatever works.

For me this blog gives me the occasional opportunity to process the things that are tangled webs in my mind. The space to breath. To process and ponder. It reminds me to be grateful, to do my best and to chill because there is no perfect way for me to be me. I hope sometimes it reminds you to do you {peacefully} too.

Word of 2014. Peace. 

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