I don’t ask for much. Not really. Just a life of my own making, filled with opportunities like yesterday afternoon sunbathing; I sit and watch the trees in my backyard shake their leaves gently in the wind. Green and gold, brown and yellow. Imagining what it would be like to see those trees drop their leaves, wondering just how cold that it would need to get.
My house, even without sufficient light in the living area most of the time, is a place I love to be. A perfect haven to come home to. A home that we built. Sort of literally thanks to a builders help. My house has been filled with people and been empty; the space has seemed much too big for just us two. Then overflowed, splitting at the seams with love and people when we’ve asked it too.
It’s my home. But the most valuable thing here is my relationship and what we have managed to create together. This life, this abundance of great and wonderful things. It lives here but it could live wherever. I wonder about that as I ponder our current situation, work for Hubby has been slow, our savings are drying up. Will we leave here by choice to lighten the load?
Probably not. It only feels that dire now. Work like ours ebbs and flows, it’s the downside of being self-employed in a small, smaaaall business. The brain-bending part of it that I can’t ignore is that every time there are good time, fast times, times to build the savings I always think, naaaah, the hard times are over. Thank goodness Hubby doesn’t listen to me.
I was thinking maybe I should do a 30-day challenge to raise some funds, then blog it. I’ve been looking for some inspiration and combined with the obsession for Two Broke Girls, I can see myself with a cute counter tally on the sidebar ticking up and down. How much could a person raise in 30 days, do you think? Hmmmm, curious.
And in that thinking, in the moment of the idea planting in my head, I realise that I’m okay. We are okay. Life is good and times really aren’t that tough {it’s all relative, right?} and as long as I have an idea in my head then there is hope. It’s that idea, the thought of what else is possible, the chance to create something from nothing. The chance to clear the space and move forward.
A chance to create.
Hi! I’m Melissa Walker Horn. Around here, they call me Suger. I’m the Chief Blogger and doer of all the things here at Suger Coat It. Blogging since 1901; I love a casual ootd, taking photos, and writing about things that irk or inspire me. I love wine and cheese, long days at the beach and spending time with my family. I make stuff for the internet over at Chalkboard Digital. You know, living the sweet life.
It seems like for us it’s never all good, then all bad at once. It’s like there are bad times, with little shining rays of hope, and good times with those dark grey rainclouds looming on the horizon…
Keep on creating your life because I love reading about it 😛
You’re absolutely right. It’s never all bad, not really, or it hasn’t been for me anyway. We just keep looking for those rays of light. And for sure, I might as well blog it right? Even it is is my demise, people love a good demise. Haha.
I agree about the ebb and flow. I have hit a few silent moments on the work front and then suddenly they are over to be forgotten until the next time. LOVE the idea of a challenge. Intrigued and the counter would be fantastic. 🙂
I know right? I saw something once where a blogger was selling things, writing an eBook and even doing odd jobs to ear a bit of money… Seemed interesting to me. Maybe I could make my own ‘cupcake girls’ type dream then run updates on it. Haha. Who knows?
I love this blog entry. This is reality. It ebbs and flows, with ups and downs, constantly challenging what we think we know and where we think we’re at. Designing your own life is hard. It takes constant effort to push and tweak and adjust. I’m like you. When the sun is shining and all is good, I tend to get comfy and complacent, like its always going to be like that. And then life reminds me that my head is in the clouds!
The thing is, you’ve made your house the haven that it is. You have the capability to recreate that haven wherever you go, because the reality is that YOU and your hubby are the haven. We have learned that. It is an amazing feeling to remember sometimes when I get down about things not going exactly the way I would have liked. And yet, if things had gone according to my plans, I wouldn’t be where I am today.
Thank you Mahina. I love this comment because not only does it affirm for me that these things come and go but that if I needed to, or wanted to, I could do it again and home would be home. Thank you.
Will be praying for you.
Thank you Pat. x