I talk a lot about the value of people, relationships and family here. I am an advocate accepting people as they are. I encourage others to adopt the live and let live approach. I wasn’t always like this, I used to be the fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, NO FREAKING CHANCE type of girl. I would have literally cut off my nose to spite my face. I’m not that fond of my nose anyway, so no great loss. Ha.
I changed because I make mistakes too. Some of them have been very hurtful to those I committed them against. In love, friendships and family. Then I’ve begged for a second chance and an opportunity to prove my worthiness. Sometimes I even got that second chance. It only seems fair to afford other people the same grace I have been granted. So I adopted this new approach. I aim to be generous with people.
But that said, sometimes it is okay to say goodbye to toxic people. Don’t do anything that would be risking who you are for the sake of who they are. That’s the line I think. And when you get there, I guess what I wanted to say, was that it’s ok to step back and say enough.
There doesn’t have to be a big song and dance about it. It can be a simple withdrawing of yourself from their circle. Quietly and with no malice is my favourite. And if asked, just tell them why in the clearest way you can. Tell them that you don’t like the way they treat you or act around you, so you’re out. Yesterday I shared an old post about how to stand up for yourself without feeling like a jerk, start by reading that.
When conversation is not possible or you’re in real physical or emotional danger you owe it to yourself to step back and look out for number one. Always. No exceptions you need to put yourself first. Be safe, be smart and take care of yourself.
And if I could say something as a parting word on the topic. Be generous with people. You don’t need to be anything for anyone else. You don’t owe them anything. But at the same time, they don’t need to be anything for you. Some people will just never be what you want or need them to be. Let that go. You might be surprised that being around them isn’t that difficult then.
Unless they’re nuts, then run for the hills Bullseye!
Hi! I’m Melissa Walker Horn. Around here, they call me Suger. I’m the Chief Blogger and doer of all the things here at Suger Coat It. Blogging since 1901; I love a casual ootd, taking photos, and writing about things that irk or inspire me. I love wine and cheese, long days at the beach and spending time with my family. I make stuff for the internet over at Chalkboard Digital. You know, living the sweet life.
Hell YES. YES YES YES
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Haha. Thanks Rah!
Are you reading my mind? LOL You seem to be tapping into a few issues that I am having at the moment. Great article babe. Can’t wait to hear more about your ebook! 🙂 xo
Haha. Nope, just peeking in your windows. Awkward! Glad it was here for you when you needed it. And thank you! It should be out in the next couple of weeks. Fingers crossed.
you make me laugh Melissa. I am so glad I know you. xo
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funny how many of your posts are pertinent to me or my loved ones at the time you post them.
Glad to hear that. The funny part is this one has been in half finished draft form for months. Last night I sat down and decided that I would finish it for today. Maybe it was a message just for you. x
Aim to be generous to people! I like that a lot! I agree with you it is definitely OK to distance yourself from people that are bringing nothing into your life! After all why should you compromise yourself for anyone else!?
Thank you. Me too. Generosity covers so many good things that it just seems to work. And you’re right? Why indeed.