It wasn’t that long ago that I was taking my seat amongst 450 other bloggers at the ProBlogger training event. The room was packed to the brim and there were people everywhere. If you’re anything like me that’s confronting. All those people, new faces, possibly judgie faces. Ha. So how when training is delivered in groups predominately, do you get the most out of an experience like ProBlogger if you HATE being in large groups of people?
Well do I have the post for you.
No steak knives.
To be confident in groups you have to remember one thing. One teeny tiny thing. And that one thing is that humans are a bit like snakes. You know how when you’re a kid your parents told you that snakes are way more scared of you than you are of them. Make some noise, let them know you’re there and you’ll be fine. Well it turns out that humans are the same, especially in a group.
Most people are sitting or standing in the corner a little bit afraid, waiting for someone to talk to them. No really. If you’ve ever gotten brave and spoken to someone MOST of them audibly sigh with relief and join the conversation. Except the ones pretending to be too cool to be impacted by the crowd. I find that once I have a friendly face in the crowd, even just one, the world looks different.
And would you look at this, I’d thought that this would be a list post with lots of tips and tricks but it turns out that one is all it takes. One simple yet oh so complicated tip. Everyone’s afraid. Everyone. So be the one to make someone else feel at home and find yourself there as well. It’s funny how that works. The caring about others more than yourself thing. How in the end you end up taken care of too.
Magic.
Hi! I’m Melissa Walker Horn. Around here, they call me Suger. I’m the Chief Blogger and doer of all the things here at Suger Coat It. Blogging since 1901; I love a casual ootd, taking photos, and writing about things that irk or inspire me. I love wine and cheese, long days at the beach and spending time with my family. I make stuff for the internet over at Chalkboard Digital. You know, living the sweet life.
You can also find one person you know and ask them to introduce you to who they know – even if it’s only one other person you now know two people there!
That’s such a great idea too! Nice one.
Oh yes. Isn’t it funny, I think we’re a bit alike in that everyone would say we are super confident, outgoing etc but groups can be a bit intimidating. I find it really helpful to pretend like I’m doing the other person a huge favour. Like, ‘oh look at that poor girl in the corner, I’m going to go talk to her so she doesn’t feel so alone’ when really it’s more like ‘holy shit there are so many people here and I’m scared. I will feel better if I am talking to at least one person, then I won’t be a nigel’ Haha it’s some kind of strange reverse psychology that makes it easier to make the first move when it comes to talking to someone. Whatever, it works haha
It does, right? Tricking your own brain into being helpful is awesome and such a great strategy. 😉
I would never had such a good time at PBEvent if some lovely people didn’t come up to lonely me and say hi. Next time I hope to return the favour to someone who suffers the same as I do!
The kindness of virtual strangers! Love. I’m glad to hear you’ll be returning the favour.
You do know some secrets. It’s true! I worked out at around 14 years of age that it’s also true that everyone only notices what they’re wearing. I use to get so self conscious, but then realised that everyone else was too. I was like a super power. Thanks for sharing. I keep avoiding blogger events because of this very reason. But I’m going to be brave and go to some more events in the future. With this very piece of wisdom in mind. Thank you Melissa! x
I do! Lucky me I had some great role models and mentors in this life. Thank you for your kind words and I know that with them in mind events, especially in large groups, will be easier for you now. Works for me. x
I never know what to say to someone I don´t know to start a conversation, so I basically spend the time sitting at the end of the row, checking my phone and trying to look busy. Paople never believe me when I tell them that I can spend days without talking to anybody -and not because i actually want to :S
I find a few phrases really helpful, if you’re ready I’ll give them to you {you’re welcome};
~ Something obvious – Hi! Lots of people hey?
~ Something casual – Ummm, do you smell that? {HA jokes! Not this one}
~ Something about the venue – It’s cold/hot/loud/quiet/whatever in here hey?
~ Something about the event – Have you been to this before?
The hey? is essential to ensuring that you get a response. Smile, be open and try not to touch them. It’s too much, you’re hitting on them then. Haha.
Good luck! Practice in supermarkets. People are always head down bum up in supermarkets and I’m always trying to talk to them. It gets you good at talking to strangers.
True and I am that person who sits back uncomfortably but feel more at ease when I get spoken too
I hear you lady. It takes something but it’s worth it. Promise. Give it a go next time.