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Today is my birthday. You might have heard. I’m hardly low-key about the whole thing. I like to celebrate, what can I say. And celebrating myself and getting another year older, well heck yes I am in for THAT especially. I don’t fear getting older. The opposite in fact, my fear is that my time will be up before I get to do, see, touch, taste and smell EVERY THING.

Looking back this year was a great one, a wonderful one and as I lay on the couch wrapped in the strong arms of my husband last night I realised that I have everything I could ever have dreamed of. There’s this amazing sense of achievement, confidence and peace that has fallen over me lately. It’s an unusual thing for me. Peacefulness has never been something I was good at.

Sure I might have had plans to dominate the world, zipping around in my private jet, but when I really looked. And boy did I look. I was determined to find some disappointment, regret or resentment there somewhere. I couldn’t find it. Everything I need I have. I want more, but I don’t need it.

I think if there was a point, a line in the sand, for me becoming a grown up that it wouldn’t be not dancing all night in sweaty pubs, or getting to bed earlier or having a more adult choice than an ice-cream cake. Nope. Those things won’t make me a grown up. For me it’s that feeling. Contentment. I feel like I’ve arrived. Here I am.

And I’m so grateful.

Now I’m not sure about you, but as a human I have been a most unsatisfied version. The pain of not being enough, having enough, doing enough was something that has engulfs me at times. It was always something that pushed me, drove me {sometimes into the ground}. I always thought that I would be measured in life by how much I could accumulate for my life’s resume. The people, places, things… But no.

So as I dive head first into this new year I have been given, I do so confidently that all is well. All is as it should be. I do it with a champagne in hand, food on my plate, clothes on back and a roof over my head. What a win. Then as cream I have those people who love me, more than enough of everything and something that resembles my very own version of faith. What a life to lead, thank goodness it’s mine.

So life, come at me, I’m so ready. 

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