Last week, when we talked about life, Danielle wanted to know what happened with the pancake shop about being more open with my story. Did you know I had a pancake shop? Haha. I wonder if you did.
Its name was Whispers, and it was a pancake and crepe cafe. I purchased the existing business and settled on it weeks after my twenty-first birthday, refurbished and updated equipment, and went for it. That cafe was where I first cut my teeth on what it was like to work for myself.
It was hard – short version.
But not for the reasons you might think. Cafes have notorious schedules, and you have to be there the majority of the time. And that’s just opening hours. There is also cooking, ordering, marketing, catering, book work and staffing. Plenty to do to keep you busy. I flipped more pancakes in those years than most people will in ten lifetimes. Haha.
I loved it. The coming and going of people. The new ideas and changing the scenery of a cafe. There was never a day that looked the same as the one before. And I love coffee… I pretty much drank enough coffee for a small country in those few years.
It was the best.
The Saturday morning’s when the cafe felt like having many people over for breakfast was my favourite. Kel and I would often handle these morning’s ourselves, him madly flipping and filling pancakes while I took orders and made coffee. Writing this now makes me smile at the hustle-bustle memory of that.
At night we would do private events and parties. Dusting off the banquet type servery and offering a private and fun space for people to come and celebrate. That cafe was my first experience of creating community in business, a lesson I’ve taken with me always.
So, where did it go wrong?
In a lot of ways, it didn’t. It did OKAY in the most average of ways. It supported Kel and me when we needed it to. We managed to keep our heads above water, the staff paid and pay most of our bills (me and the tax department, that’s a story for another day).
When I sold the business, I knew that it would support the new owner and that there was enough in the sale to settle any outstanding bills. That said, I didn’t recoup the money I spent in the beginning. I was okay with that; it felt like the money I paid for my education in business. Worth every penny, even if today I would do things a little differently.
I’d had a crash course and survived. I was proud of that.
When I went into it, however, fine wasn’t what I was looking for. I was going to make it THE BEST. I had ideas about how to market the business, build up the catering side and make it a unique offering in the town. I did some of that. But I also did a lot of not that.
Being responsible for yourself and your output is difficult to master. Or, it has been for me anyway. I found that sometimes I just couldn’t be bothered or didn’t want to, and when that mood struck, it was impossible to motivate me. It’s hard to learn that about yourself, trust me.
I also learned that I was a know-it-all. Try not to be surprised. Haha. I’d watched my parents in their businesses and done a few semesters of a marketing degree. I thought I knew everything. My family would try to have their input (based on tested industry experience), and I thought I knew better.
Easily the biggest downfall as a young business owner.
It’s a lesson I only really learned in the decade that followed. Knowing when to trust my gut and listening to others was hard for me. I had it all tied up in being independent and standing on my own two feet. I’ve always been called spoiled or entitled because of my parent’s success, and this was a reaction to that.
But it doesn’t work. Sure, I had to follow my instincts about some things, but some fundamentals, had I not been so stubborn about doing it myself, wouldn’t have been the hard-fought lessons they were. I could have been better, done better, had I just been patient and spent a little more time listening than speaking.
Heck, 35-year-old me still needs that advice sometimes.
So, there you go. That was my first ever experience as a business owner. I loved it. Business has always fascinated me, and I knew with absolute certainty that working for myself was my ‘thing’ since forever. Do you have a business or blog? Was it like that for you too?
This transition into a new focus of the blog has been hard. People who are no longer interested falling by the wayside, engagement dropping and me feeling like I don’t know what the heck I’m doing anymore. Then yesterday happened. The post about the Baby Thing happened and I had to face something.
You’re just not that into it. Awkward.
I started to question the idea of writing about business specifically for women. And as for the whole blogging and social media thing goes, I worried that there was no one there. I was wrong. People are still there, maybe YOU’RE still there. But no one said anything because, well, they didn’t care about what I was talking about and the way I was delivering content.
A blog is nothing if it’s not personal. I think somewhere I forgot that. Probably around the time that we had to pay back the Australian Government our entire life savings and then some. Forget probably; that’s what it is. It has to be. The shame of failure and what that says about me as a person and my ability to deliver value here. Yesterday when I was afraid, I hit publish anyway.
And the support just showed up.
There’s a lesson in there for all of us running blogs, brands or businesses. Sometimes it takes sharing these moments, ourselves, to really allow people out there to connect with us. To give them a reason to stop what they are doing to comment back or tag a friend. Not as a strategy to gain more traction or sales, but as a way to genuinely connect with people. To share the ups and downs, the triumphs and the lessons hard-fought for and earned.
I’ve heard you, whether you said it out loud or not. To be able to speak with women, who want to create something for themselves, I need to be willing to share myself. Wholely. Without fear of the judgement that the internet can deliver so swiftly. Be patient with me, team. Apparently, after all this time, I’m still learning.
The busy people of the world swear by it, but have you ever considered implementing a personal uniform? You know, wearing the same combination of items day in and day out, Mark Zuckerberg style. But it’s not just Mark!
Entrepreneurs such as Apple’s Steve Jobs, I Quit Sugar’s Sarah Wilson, Former President (sob, come back) Barak Obama, and The Collective Hub’s Lisa Messenger report having similar success with a personal uniform. For varying reasons. Everything from streamlining the ‘getting dressed’ process to ethical clothing practices and reducing stress. There is a lot to be said for choosing to wear a personal uniform.
So, why does it work?
I don’t know about you, but sometimes deciding what to wear is not only a stressful exercise in finding clothes that you ‘feel’ like wearing or fit, but it takes so much time. And brain space. All of these are reasons to set yourself the either the same clothes or a set idea (think blouse and pants) as a personal uniform.
Not only that but have you ever considered the volume of clothing you purchase, own, store and discard? It’s an environmental concern and something that we just don’t give enough consideration too. I mean, look at every YouTuber known to mankind and the haul videos. Gosh. So, having a uniform can reduce your clothing and monetary waste AND help the environment. Worth a look.
Getty Images
Having a personal uniform has worked for me regarding my work wardrobe. Currently, in a more casual setting, I have 4 or 5 outfits that I wear to work, on repeat. I can get ready and be out the door in 15 minutes if I need to be. It’s simple, and I don’t feel the stress of trying and discarding some options before finally deciding.
You can pretend that doesn’t happen to you, but it does. And it’s the worst. Such a time and energy suck. If you’ve experienced that, or any sort of anxiety about what to wear then give this a try. Even if it’s for a few days a week. As women, we are told to look our best and to make an effort. A part of that is not repeating outfits. Shock horror. It’s not even possible, never mind practical, so give that up now.
It’s finally here! As I mentioned in my post earlier in the week, the whole idea of sharing my body confidence story started as a video idea. I wanted to add my story to the Confident You video series and share with you where I’ve come from and where I’m at. Well, team, that video is finally here.
In this video, I share my experience and touch on what I shared in the blog post. But as I go, sharing my ideas and thoughts on body image and the impacts these ideals have on us all. I’ve always tried to be honest on this blog. To share what is happening for me, where I’m at and the wins and losses as they occur. This is part of that.
I needed to share my body image and confidence story here. It was such a missing for my blog and YouTube channel to have others share their thoughts and not put my thoughts on the screen. But without further ado, here we go.
Body Confidence: My journey here
I hope there’s something in any of these videos that strikes a chord with you, and if you want to share your “Confident You” Body Image story, send me an email. I’d love to have you.
And while I’m here, can I say your support of the blog post both here and on the Facebook Page has been amazing? Seriously. The way you shared yourselves and your story supported me and sent love to other women struggling. Well, it’s the reason I love you all so much.
Recently, my local newspaper compiled a list of our town’s 30 most influential people. I did not make this list. What am I even doing with my life…? I’ll be sobbing in my flat white for days. Did you pick up the sarcasm? You did. Good. I’d link to the post so you can read the comments, but well, no links for them and their click bait article. #sorrynotsorry
BUT, it got me thinking about influence. What makes someone influential? There are entire industries based around influencers why then, can’t we measure it with any real clarity? What IS influence and who gets to decide what is influential? I’m glad you asked. Here are my thoughts on the whole thing.
I was in my car for something like 18 hours this weekend, I had plenty of time to think this over. Brace yourself.
It came down to this; influence can be cultivated, it’s definitely subjective and you never really know the impacts of it. What makes someone influential is people listening to them. Equal parts empowering and terrifying, right? It’s why we have to be so careful about who influences us. Who we allow space in our mind to shape who we are.
There are plenty of women who have experienced or are experiencing the negative impacts of influence that read this very blog. Negative repercussions with their relationship with their body, their family, their spouse or children. Not to mention their experience with the world at large. Thanks, patriarchy. We labour under the weight of influence in so many areas of our life, it’s about time we starting asking some questions.
Who ARE these people?
Who are they and why are we listening to them? Are they worthy of the space they occupy in our hearts and minds? I encourage you to ask yourself those questions every single time you feel yourself being influenced by another person. You have to determine if that person is worthy of your time considering their opinion. Consider the things that make you feel like rubbish, did they start with you?
Or is there someone in your life who is causing this upset with their influence? I used to work under a man that thought I was hopeless, lazy and more than a little bit slow off the mark. None of which I believe about myself. But over time, under his influence, I started to doubt myself. This went on for months and months and it was only after I was out from under his umbrella of grossness that I started to feel confident in my abilities again.
Question everything, team.
Bloggers, especially question bloggers and social media influencers. Hold them to account. Demand they be open with you. Anyone who can’t be open with you doesn’t deserve your trust. I really believe that. Sometimes I’m online and I see campaigns I’ve turned down or not been chosen for posted without disclosure. It’s not cool. So, ask away.
Question it all! From the way the world works right down to your opinion about how late is too late to eat. Who told you that? Are they someone you want shaping your life? Are you even okay with that? Ask yourself what’s in it for them and whether or not you can get on board with what they are saying.
What if you gave yourself the permission to BE the influencer?
An influencer is anyone who says something out loud for others to hear that has an impact. For better or for worse. I made that up, I should have Googled the actual definition, but that’s what it looks like for me. So what if the person you listen to, that other people listen to, were you? Because it could be and in the case of who you’re listening to, it should be you.
The great news is that anytime we say something we have the opportunity to influence, and we should take that seriously. It’s something I had to spend some time getting comfortable with when I started this blog. Was I okay with having an influence? Sure. But did I feel worthy of that opportunity? Not really. At the time I questioned my own voice and ability to effectively lead myself, never mind anyone else.
It’s still something I struggle with.
My issue is that I didn’t feel good enough or smart enough, stylish enough, together enough. But that was a lie. A fear I had and a story I told myself that stopped me from using my voice. You don’t have to be perfect to impact people and use your influence for good. We kind of HAVE to, the bad guys aren’t too concerned with whether they are worthy or not. Let me tell you.
You have a voice and you should use it. Be your own influencer. Don’t wait to feel perfect or worthy of the space. And certainly, don’t wait for your home town to put you on some list. Trust your gut with people, do what is right for you and use the voice you have to create some good stuff out there in the world online and off. You’ve got this.
You’d be forgiven for thinking this was about Taylor Swift. It’s not. I just stole her line. Sorry, Taylor, I’m sure you’ll cope. This is about giving up control of your life to someone else. Handing it over and letting them run you, run it, in whatever way they see fit.
Saying, look what you made me do.
So, maybe it is a little bit about Taylor. But not really. I was 21 when I opened my first business. It was a cafe that specialised in pancakes and crepes. That cafe was everything I’d dreamed of doing in the sense that I always wanted to work for myself. The hours were reasonable and I learned a lot there.
What I didn’t learn was how to manage my responsibilities in terms of tax and reporting. Real talk. I was always short, rarely lodged my BAS on time and often found myself avoiding anything to do with the accounting side of the business.
When I sold that business, and all was said and done, I owed the tax department money. Not heaps, but enough to be a lesson in not avoiding situations. But do you think I blamed myself for this situation? My Aunt, however, did an excellent job of reminding me that it was my fault and that I should have done what I needed to do. Full stop.
But nope. Not me. I blamed the ATO. Look what you made me do.
Time went on and I worked for myself at various stages in life. Kel started full time in his business and things were comfortably rolling along. Well, except for one thing. One thing that I had seen before. I hadn’t lodged my tax returns for a number of years. And I had no idea if our businesses even qualified to charge GST.
My head was very much in the sand. Someone else’s problem, right? Money, bookkeeping and meeting my obligations were things I did my best to ignore. It got to the point that my accountant, a lovely man with the patience of a saint, finally issued an ultimatum. Lodge my returns, adult, or find a new accountant.
So, finally pushed to do what I didn’t want to do, I did my books. I put together the paperwork I needed and sent them over. What’s the worst that could happen, right? It’s not like we’re rolling in it. I can’t owe that much.
Wrong.
I hadn’t learned my lesson last time and the universe had a new, bigger lesson for me to learn. Don’t you find that that’s the way it goes? When you ignore something or unlearn something you should have learned by now, you get a kick in the bum reminder. That’s what this was and there was no ignoring it. It was a reshuffle your life, shake the house down, make some changes, level kick in the butt.
I felt like I’d learned my lesson. In a lot of ways, I have. But I have this feeling, this mouse in a wheel type feeling, that I’m missing something. Am I someone I would consider in control of my business and the associated finances? Yes, I would say so. I’m meeting my obligations and doing what I need to know to what’s happening one month to the next. But…
It’s lonely out on this limb. That’s the problem with giving up saying ‘look what you made me do’. There’s only you to blame. It’s all on you. If I miss something, it’s on me. It’s powerful too. Because if I fail, if I stuff up and something happens, I know there is only one person who can change it. Trying to remember that has been important for carrying on. I’m responsible for me, and I’m going to take that very seriously.
Today we’ve been married for 12 years and in a relationship for 14. So wow! Happy 12th wedding anniversary to my husband-type-person. I really am blessed to share this life with such a generous, kind, warm man. To celebrate this momentous occasion, let’s take a look at the things I’ve learned about relationships. Even though I’m not an expert, the fact that we got here after the last year, well, I must be doing something right. Probably.
We’ll see, shall we? *wiggles eyebrows*
I often write about the funny things that happen in my relationship. Less often now, but it used to be a significant factor in the blog; Sharing the silly or the annoying things Kel does. And there is always plenty. That’s sharing a life and house with someone, right?
Then, sometimes I’d break character and share something sweet, like the way he always kisses me goodbye in the mornings even if I’m asleep. Or when he slept on a mattress on the floor at the foot of the bed while I was sick. Or the time he surprised me with a new knife because I was complaining about the old ones. And, you know, a million stories just like those. I was thinking about it the other day. Thinking that the teasing, the fun, sweetness and laughter that we tend to share online, it doesn’t cover off one essential thing.
Relationships are hard work.
I wasn’t a girl who dreamed of her future husband or wedding. I didn’t plan for children and a household to manage. So nothing surprised me more than falling in love and wanting to marry. As time went on the shock of actually wanting to commit my life to someone wore off, and I settled into the relationship.
Over time, we found a balance and would constantly look for ways to make it work. I cannot imagine that I am an easy person to be married to. And by “cannot imagine I am”, I mean I’m not. I don’t think anyone is. We laughed, cried, fought and spent those horrible times silent when no one would say a thing. I came to realise that this marriage was for life which was a brain bender in itself. I was talking to a friend, telling her that Hubby and I had been married for ten years next year (old story, obvs) and that it was AGES. Such a long time. Soooo long. Ages. She just laughed at me and said ‘honey, you’ve got a long way to go yet’. And it hit me. I do. A long time.
A long, long, long time. God-willing.
Looking that permanence in the eye and deciding that I could continue to be pissy about the pantry door always being left open, or I could be happy. It was time for me to choose. And some days, let me tell you, I don’t choose happy. That cupboard door thing drives me INSANE. Haha. I’ve found that to be married successfully you have to be all in. Open and free with communicating the good and bad and never have one foot out the door. So, a cupboard door can’t be a deal breaker, right? You can’t let it be.
I’m great at relationships that ebb and flow and rise and fall. Ones I can ‘escape’ from. I like space to do my own thing and be on my own without involving them. That’s how I have always made friendships, relationships with my family and colleagues work.
But, I’ve found that you can’t do that in marriage and have any success long-term. You can’t just lock yourself off for extended blocks of time. We are heading very quickly towards me being married for half of my entire life. Not just half of my adult life, MY WHOLE LIFE. Mind blowing. For me, as the years go on, one thing becomes more and more necessary even as I dedicate time to physically and emotionally be ‘with’ Kel.
Being myself!
My point is that when you’re with someone for a while, you have to keep checking in and making sure that YOU are still there. Do you still have interests and relationships aside from your partner? Do you have a hobby or interest that is all yours? My Mum taught me that. Be your own person, have your interests and continue to come back to your partner with new ideas, inspiration and excitement. She’s a wise one, that woman, and not too shabby at this marriage thing after 40 years.
Kel and I have found a good balance when it comes to this. We certainly aren’t the couple that spends all our time together. That works for some people. You know who you are. I think that it’s the finding of what works for you that is the most important. For me, there has been no winning formula that I have been told or shown as an example that perfectly works for us. We found a way that works for us and that my friends, is what it is all about.
Otherwise, it’s a long, long, long, LONG time to be trying to make something fit into an idea you have of marriage. And in my experience, those who are having ‘the perfect’ marriage, with ‘the formula and lots of lines in the sand are the people who find themselves in situations where they can’t forgive the small things. They can’t look at their partner as a whole person with flaws and faults and will one day have that bite them on the butt.
Don’t be that person.
Find your way. YOUR WAY. Work together, keep your feet firmly planted in your relationship and don’t sweat the small stuff (spoiler: It’s all small stuff). Most of all find a way to be married that works for you both and have fun creating a relationship just like that. Do it with lots of love. And sex, always lots of sex. *wink wink*
And now, because it’s Sunday and Sunday is VIDEO DAY, below is 20’ish Questions with Mr Suger to celebrate. Enjoy. If you can give the video a thumbs up, please do so! And if you’re into the YouTube thing, make sure you subscribe. I’ve got a bonus video coming this week that you’re not going to want to miss. How are you going with the videos? The mail opening one is almost at 100 views! Which considering we are like two weeks in, I’m taking as a win. Go team.
As you’re aware, the YouTube obsession is high over here at the moment. And you can’t be on YouTube without coming across some content from the big guy that is Buzzfeed. Part of their content strategy seems to be ‘we try stuff so you don’t have to’. Excellent! I love stuff.
So, I thought maybe what I need is a little Buzzfeed-inspired challenge for myself on the blog. I’m enjoying trying more stuff out, writing more and all that jazz, so a challenge sounds like fun. But what to do first? That was a question.
A question answered by the overflowing with coffee cups and packages bin next to my desk at my day job. Could I survive a week without my takeout coffees, the eggs or the trips to the corner shop when I couldn’t be bothered packing lunch?
Could I go an entire week without spending any money?
Let’s see, shall we? I have groceries and paid my bills (most of them, I’m not a saint!) so I’m as ready as I’ll ever be. Mr Suger has to pick up some milk today, but other than that, I’m good to go. Starting tomorrow I’m going to not spend anything until next Saturday night. Seven days. One week. Some amount of hours, math isn’t really my thing. So watch this space! I’ll update my Instagram Story with updates and if there are images involved they’ll be under #ProjectSuger. Wish me luck!
Well, bet you didn’t think you’d hear this one from me, right? The blogger, telling you that there’s such a thing as being TOO attached to your social media and by extension, your phone. Well, I am. That’s because I’m your girl. I’m in the best possible position to speak to you about this; I live and breathe the internet. It’s my hobby, my relaxation and a large part of my livelihood. Even with all of that I had to learn when to turn off and how to be okay with it.
Let me tell you a little about THAT!
A couple of years ago we sold our home and moved to my sister’s house while we purchased our next property. Nice, all was good, except for one thing; we had no internet. Heck, no phone reception some days. It was worse than growing up on dial-up. I went from full access to pretty much nothing. And I felt it.
There was this ball of anxiety about not being able to able to schedule posts, to communicate on Facebook or Instagram and all the other things that social media requires. Some nights, with my phone perched on the highest window sill, it still wouldn’t work and I would get super angry and upset.
Here’s the thing, that’s bad.
As the months went on, I realised that the world keeps spinning. As dramatic as it sounds, I felt like for my blog and my business, that it wouldn’t. Like, if I wasn’t there to keep things spinning it would just fall in a heap. Newsflash. It didn’t. There was freedom in that realisation. I felt like I could exhale for the first time in a long time. The pressure was defused and I found that less and less I would reach for my phone. It’s not that social media was forgotten, it just wasn’t THE most important thing anymore.
The pressure was defused and I found that less and less I would reach for my phone. It’s not that social media was forgotten, it just wasn’t THE most important thing anymore. It became part of a process. I’d plan ahead, schedule, and then, like magic, I got out there and got a life. I’ve certainly still got plenty of love for my phone but more and more I find I don’t even pick it up. Well, unless I’m waiting (I’m so freaking impatient) or to show the people something online.
So, are you hooked on your social media?
There are some major red flags when it comes to getting too attached to your phone, and by extension, your social media. I know that we are used to having our phones, having them work and being ‘connected’ online whenever, wherever. But it’s not good when you feel that you NEED to be online, no matter how many FOMO jokes we make.
Ugh, anxiety.
For me, it started with that anxious feeling when you can’t access your phone or social media. If you regularly feel angry, frustrated or upset by reduced or limited access to the internet, this could be a red flag. Sure, there’s a difference between getting frustrated when you’ve got something to do and when there’s no reason for you to be online. Watch out for that. Start to leave your phone in the car or on charge in your bedroom instead of having it with you all the time. This distance will help you realise, you’re really not missing much.
Mindlessness.
Another red flag was the flicking between apps and refreshing. No, I’m trying to spoil ALL your fun, but if you find yourself doing this over and over again, pouncing on new posts or updates, well… Not great. I still find myself slipping into this, especially when I’m having a hard time sleeping. No one updates at 3 am and refreshing the page a billion times won’t change that. If you find yourself doing this, stop what you’re doing, put the phone down and find something else to do. I like to leave my phone in the kitchen when I’m watching TV, or in the car when we go to a park, cafe or to visit people.
Avoiding.
If you find yourself avoiding places or situations that won’t have service or wifi then well, bad news. While we were at my sister’s I would find all sorts of reasons to delay my return home from work. As the time came to head home, even though it should have been the highlight of my day, I would mess around on my phone and avoid going. There was nothing to do. No news, or updates, no nothing… So what was that about? It was FOMO (fear of missing out) and it hit me hard. All I could do to break the habit was to just go. Make myself, when I had to. While I was there I started leaving my phone in the car, at home or in my bag.
There you go team, I hope that for some of you this post will give you the space to step back from your socials (your phone) a little and get back into your life. It’s not that we mean to get caught up or check out, it’s that these devices and the communities we find online are SO available. Don’t beat yourself up, just make some small changes, it’ll make the world of difference.
Look, I kind of want to say dump them, but I won’t. Not yet, maybe later. If your partner doesn’t like your clothing choices it can be tricky to navigate. Everyone wants to be attractive and getting approval from the person who loves you is always nice. But what happens when they don’t ‘get it’?
That’s what I want to chat about. It’s something that comes up in questions and conversations often enough. Heck, just this week Kel told me my dress looked like a sack and I should consider a belt. I don’t know why or where it came from, but apparently, he’s Anna Wintour all of a sudden. Haha. But in the end, he knew and I knew, it was none of his business.
Sometimes he weighs in.
And, sorry Kel, but I rarely listen.
He has never really weighed in on my appearance. Not my body, my style, my hair… None of it. There have been times I’ve asked for his opinion and genuinely wanted an answer (perhaps this is where this newfound confidence to weigh-in comes from, haha). But other than that, he does him and I do me; together. It’s gone a long way towards how comfortable I am in my own style. He saw it all, from peasant skirts and peplum to sporty sneakers and pencil skirts.
As you find your style, there are going to be people who get on board with it. They will support you and cheer you on. Then, there are people who are one hundred per cent NOT going to be on board with it. Maybe it’s different to how they saw you, from what they like or it’s a big change from what you were doing before. Change is hard for some people, that’s their thing.
But what if that person is your partner? How do you navigate that when you’re learning what you like for yourself? First of all friends, no one has a right to tell you what to wear. Ever. Let’s get that out of the way; EVER. You should stop listening. Altogether. It’ not about them and, there is no requirement for you to dress to please them. Learn what you like first, make it about you. That’s an okay thing for you to do, you know?
Starting by doing this one thing; stop asking people for their opinion.
Seriously, are you insane? Unless you are actively asking them to lie to you (and what good will that do?) then what is the point of you doing that? You are looking to them to validate you and your appearance. It happens, we are all bred with some level of wanting approval from others. Hello, I’m the firstborn, I’ve got it in spades.
But when the feedback from the outset was that they weren’t into it, you won’t win. You can’t. It’s either false praise (and you’re going to know it is) or it’s not what you want to hear. It’s a big ask, but you have to stop looking outside of yourself for the approval of others. Stop asking if they like your dress, your shoes, your hair and find other ways to have them validate you. Make them buy you presents and tell you you’re pretty. That would be cool
And if all else fails, head over to Man Repeller; an entire blog started on the idea that sometimes, dudes just don’t get fashion but we wear it anyway. Sounds like fun, right? It is. It’s the best, easily one of my favourite blogs turned media businesses ever. Practice your rebellion with the team! And in the end, when you’re faced with criticism from a loved one, there’s only one thing to do.
Check-in with yourself, what do you want? Do that.
…
There is, in the end, something else to say about this. If your partner is controlling what you wear, making selections for you and only ‘allowing’ certain items they approve of then you’ve got a problem. Maybe they withhold money from a joint account so you can’t buy them, pout when you choose things they don’t like or simply demand your compliance. That is controlling, manipulative behaviour and you need to look closer at that, maybe with a professional if it feels like it’s getting worse. And most importantly, if you are in a situation you would like assistance to get out of, please go to this link and see what they can do for you (Australia). They have an ‘escape’ page option so that it’s there if you need it too.
Meet Tess of Success Undressed who has a #cheesesuccess hashtag on Instagram, join in!
Now I don’t know about you, but I’m a wine and cheese platter kind of girl. I’m assuming if you hang around here with me, maybe you are too. You are, right? I knew it. All the best people are, even if there’s no wine, just cheese.If you’re here, maybe you want to up-skill your platter game? Let’s talk cheese platters, shall we?
How to cheese platter like a pro!
Have a signature style
Everyone thinks they’re a platter superstar (you know who you are!) and that their platter cannot be rivalled. We all like what we like and have our signature style about it. I love that. That’s platter rule number one for me. Have your signature style.
Be flexible
But rule number two is that you have to be flexible. My favourite thing to add to a platter now is roasted asparagus and other veggies. I picked this up from a friend who loves to turn her platters into a meal. Sometimes I’m into fruit and nuts, sometimes it’s more antipasti and vegetables.
Start with the cheese
Rule number three, start with the cheese. I know, it’s a cheese platter, that’s obvious, right? But you’d be surprised how easy it is to get distracted by everything else and end up with cheese being a bit of an afterthought. I like to choose two or three great cheeses (a hard, a soft and a spare) to set the tone for the platter.
Be generous
When it comes to filling your platter, the plate or even the table (like the team at Table and Plate – https://www.instagram.com/tableandplate/) then you want to be generous. That’s rule number four. Be generous in your servings and accompaniments. Add the largest wedge of cheese you can get. For me, the platter is about abundance and sharing, so don’t get stingy.
All occasions are platter occasions
And finally, in what turned out to be a ‘rules’ post, rule FIVE is that there’s never an occasion that doesn’t deserve a cheese platter. Dinner for two? Cheese. Gathering with friends? Cheese. Struggling with something and need a mastermind? Yup, cheese will help.
Okay team, do you have a cheese platter hot tip! This blog is sorely missing comments these days (I think we talk on Facebook mostly) so to get us back in the habit pleeeease share with me below what your number one cheese platter tip is. And if I know Vanessa, that’s going to be MORE CHEESE, less other crap. Haha.
We are only days away from kicking off the 2016 Confident You Body Confidence challenge. Holy heck. Time flies when you’re having fun and writing your butt off on a new challenge. Haha. I wanted to make it clear how the challenge will work. A frequently asked questions, of sorts! So, let’s do this.
You guys will receive daily challenge emails delivered to their inbox. This is where the magic happens. I’m asking the over 200 people subscribed to the emails to really dig deep, to tackle the challenge day by day and see what results show up for them. There is a Facebook Group to support this, click over here to join or sign up below.
The daily photo challenge.
This is a way to turn those emails into practice, but also a way for those who follow Suger Coat It on Instagram to participate. With a daily photo prompt, curated by the #mybodypositive #sugersconfidentyou hashtags, we can support each other as we tackle the homework and find OUR way of being more confident in our body.
On the blog.
Here I will share the contents of some of the emails. Posts that I feel will resonate with those playing at home with the photo challenge but not actively participating. You can change your mind and opt into the emails at any time, but this is like Confident You Lite.
