Suger Coat It by Melissa Walker Horn

There’s this thing that happens when you blog about plus size fashion and combine it with confidence and body positivity. People will tell you that through doing that, you are glorifying obesity. That I am waving a flag and saying hey you, you should be fat too because look how happy I am!

But here’s the thing.

I’m fat and I like clothes. Thanks to the internet, people let me talk to them about personal style and finding clothes that fit. Which is actually a legitimate issue once you pass the standard clothing store sizes. I do this by taking photos of myself, there’s no one else around here I could use. I am front and centre, no ambition to model, but with a blog to fill and clothing holy grails to share.

That’s the problem, right? Not that fat women wear clothes or that we shop. Plenty of places to shop are getting on board to take our money these days. It’s that I’m visible and unapologetic about my body and what it looks like. That you have to see me and feel a certain way about that.

But that’s not all, right? I have the nerve to tell people how to live. Bonus, I love telling people what to do. Which, graciously, I’m given the space to do. I get to share my ideas on living a great life and I’m a self-appointed expert on confidence and kicking some ass.

I’m not here to glorify shit.

There is an argument for me glorifying myself. We are a narcissistic bunch, us bloggers. Haha.

I’m simply here living my life. What I wear, what I do, the places I go, the people I love and what I cook (sometimes, I’m all about the good photo, you’re never going to see my beef stew on here, it’s just not pretty enough). This is a personal blog, which by definition is personal and prone to being all about me.

As part of that, I’m sharing with other women on the internet my view on things. My aim is to encourage all women (and men if they’re interested in such things) to live full, happy, exciting lives starting right now. Not ten years from now and certainly not 10kg from now. Now.

If that is glorifying obesity because I, a fat person, encouraged you to do that, bloody hell, I’ve been doing that this whole time. I probably owe someone an apology. Here I am, glorifying obesity all over the place. I was thinking I was a human doing things and forgot that you see me only as a fat woman who shouldn’t be happy or visible or considered remotely cool.

My bad.

Thank you for reminding me that my value is my body. My worthiness is found in my ability to attract a man. That my value doesn’t come from the life experiences I’ve earned or the skills I’ve honed but in the size of my waist, my ass or my boobs. Here’s the thing, you might believe that, but I don’t.

I find my value in my dedication to family and friends, in being kind, my ability to love, and always trying my best. It’s in my quick mind, the way I form a sentence and share an idea. My ability to question and learn. It’s not in my body, it never was. Sorry mate, you’re wrong again.

I know the value I bring and if a part of that is questioning societies ideas of the value or worthiness of fat people, then great. But in the end, all I am doing here is living visibly. If for some reason that challenges your idea that thin is the only way to be happy, fulfilled and whole, then mission accomplished.

This fat girl just won the internet.

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  • Chel

    You know why I like reading you?

    Because you don’t glorify obesity. You tell it as it is – you post about dieting, wanting to lose weight, avoiding sugar — all while looking your fabulous self!

    • Thank you Chel, I’m glad you enjoy being here.

      In a lot of ways I’ve changed my thinking about diets and weight loss in the past few years (I’ve done a lot of reading and listening to podcasts about diet culture and its impacts on our mental and physical health) and it’s not something I’ve talked about recently.

      My fabulous self (thank you!) works out and loves to prepare meals and juices and smoothies because I like them. It’s not to reach a far off goal weight I didn’t chose for myself because I think that will never serve anyone. I think that makes a big difference.

      • Mahina Hathaway

        And I think that is the key. You write and you evolve. You learn and you share. You seek understanding and you prompt discussion. Thats why I’m here, thats for sure!

        • Thanks Mahina, I think that’s my favourite part about this blog, it’s a place to explore my thinking and process things. I’ve been wrong in the past, I’ve developed and I’ve learned a lot. The best.

  • I love this post <3

  • sydneyshopgirl

    Not only have you won the internet with all that you write and do, you’ve made it a better place with your frankness, style and thought provoking content.

    SSG xxx

  • Mahina Hathaway

    a) There is nothing wrong with your body! I know you know that. I just had to type it out for the benefit of the internet because the internet is dumb sometimes. b) Saying that you promote obesity simply by being visible and not ashamed is like saying that someone with a naturally skinny body is promoting anorexia. Such overly simplistic comments are way off the mark! Thing is, we NEED more variety in the people that feel comfortable being visible and in the voices that are speaking about things like health, fashion, body confidence, etc. The human race is filled with variety, not that you would know that from looking at our advertising industry and the large chunk of the fashion industry. That’s why bodies and voices like yours are SO important. Not to mention your candid opinions, genuine relatable way of writing and your boss as fashion perspective!

    • a) I know, thank you, agreed. Haha.
      b) It really is, that is exactly the problem with it. It’s an over simplification and people seem to think that that’s the way the world works. Light and dark people, light and dark.
      etc) YES. All the yes and exactly.
      etc – part two) Thank you, you’re always too generous with me. xo

  • Yayyyyyy. . you won and all of us that wear a larger size are winning too. . .
    I love this post and like many here on your blog, I enjoy reading. THANKS!!!