I’m unwell, you might have noticed me mention that, I’m a terrible sick person. I could almost deal with it and just keep slogging on if being sick and sad didn’t focus such a bright shining light on everything that I feel like isn’t working in my life. And you’ll find, under a blinding, unflinching light there’s a lot of faults and flaws to be seen.
Balls dropping to the floor.
Deadlines eyeing me knowingly as they loom.
Suitcases left unpacked and open on the floor.
I live a blessed life, I know that, and sometimes I feel like I am drowning in it. Drowning in the tasks to do and the expectations I put on myself to fulfill the many requests that come my way. I’m well, mentally, for the first time in a while. I feel steady and sure. But life, well, it got a little messy and the lines of what I want, what I can fit in and those who matter overlapped somewhere.
Forget blurred, that’s why overlapped works.
They just became this messy, one on top of another pile of things that make up my life. And there I was at the bottom not knowing who or where I am, and in the midst of writing a challenge about confidence, barely hanging on to mine in the face of my serious opposition. Lessons to be learned and relearned apparently. So I keep on going. Moving forward and hoping that when the fog clears, I will feel in charge again.
I’m not even sure if this post makes sense. If you’re reading it I’ve probably come back and tidied it up a little so it kinda of does. Today I just wanted to write. Write about things and how they always seem worse when you have a cough you can’t shake and a red nose from blowing. I wanted to remind MYSELF that it’s not as bad as it seems. And that letting go or saying goodbye isn’t always a bad thing.
And writing about it, well, that’s always helpful too.
And yes, I’m aware I pinched the title line from a Paramore song, I like to think they wouldn’t mind at all. At least I didn’t force you all to listen to me sing it loudly and badly…
Hi! I’m Melissa Walker Horn. Around here, they call me Suger. I’m the Chief Blogger and doer of all the things here at Suger Coat It. Blogging since 1901; I love a casual ootd, taking photos, and writing about things that irk or inspire me. I love wine and cheese, long days at the beach and spending time with my family. I make stuff for the internet over at Chalkboard Digital. You know, living the sweet life.
Crap! Have you been giving too much of yourself away, and not getting it back? I hope you’re feeling better soon! I Also have had a dicey couple of weeks– earache, migraine with a bad stomach, responsibilities taking by the waysidewayside, self-doubt creeping up on me. I grabbed up all the ends again, but sometimes it’s good to just know there are others out there, struggling, trying, taking a stab from another tack. Thank you for the Confident You course. The effects are still reverberating. Hope you can get yourself some vitamin D with the sun going in for the winter. Xoxo from Sweden
I think I did wear myself out. Entirely on me, but I did. I was struggling and I’m sorry to hear you were too. You’re welcome, I love that course and I believe that it can make a real difference for people. I’m glad to hear the ripple extends. Thank you for the love. x
Though provoking as always, Melissa and a great read (as usual).
It does feel good to be able to just write it all out.
Thank you lady. It really does, right? Thanks SSG. Loving following your adventures on Instagram. I’ll have to get back by the blog soon. x
I am right there with you Suger – feeling unwell and having to completely stop makes you have time for all the things in your head to get some attention. It’s uncomfortable, but it’s probably good for me, right?
That’s what it is for sure. You have time to sit with it and get uncomfortable. Sorry to hear that you’re unwell and feeling like this too. Here’s to feeling better sooner rather than later. x
Yep, this is me today too. To the point where I’m lying the couch researching where else I can live.
Well, good luck with that lady. Sometimes a change is as good as a holiday. x