I knew I was in trouble as I stepped out of my car for the first time that morning. I’d taken a chance, risked it all and it was biting me on the butt. Embarrassed and more than a little self-conscious I went into the shop, determined to finish my errands and get to work on time. You can do this, I coached myself, just one step in front of another. I pushed the thought of it from my head determined to continue on.
But like all things that you know you shouldn’t do that you have now done it keeps resurfacing. Reminding me. It tugs at my leg as if to say, hi there, remember me? BIG MISTAKE. HUGE. In the shop I make my exchange and I’m heading for my car. I weigh up my options. Is it too late to go home? Can I creep back to my house, my bed, my darkened room and pretend it didn’t happen? But it was, too late that is, so I soldier on.
It’s such a short trip from the main street to my work that before I know it I’m spinning the steering wheel of my car expertly {if I do say so myself} into a car park space, pulling on the hand brake, turning off the ignition. Well here goes nothing, here we go, nothing to do now but get on with the job at hand. I hoist myself from the depths of my, it occurs to me now, ridiculously low car.
I can’t do this. I thought immediately.
Crossing the width of the car park I cringe with every step forward. The noise in my head gets louder. The reasons to turn back, to not go in there, to stop before you embarrass yourself. But I don’t. Pushing open the main entrance door I am met by the cheerful smiles of my colleagues and the down cast eyes of those waiting. Gritting my teeth I cross the foyer praying that I can hold it together long enough to not lose it in front of all these people.
The air whistles as I draw it firmly through my nose to calm myself down. Pushing it back out just as hard. Repeating that step over and over in a wild attempt to stop my heart racing or calling out in frustration. Why do I do this to myself, I ask myself silently but firmly. The flare of my nostrils is the only clue that I’m annoyed and perhaps the look of steely determination in my eyes. But I look at no one.
The safety of the hallway envelopes me and I make a decision then and there. That’s it, no more, I won’t make this mistake again. I greet my colleagues as I pass their offices one by one and as I do I lift my head a little higher. It’s almost over, I’m almost there. I’ve done it. Soon in the privacy of my own space I can rectify this whole messy situation. Do what I should have done this morning.
But with a final tug, a roll and a slip the stockings I’ve been struggling with the majority of the morning slip over my backside and make a beeline for the floor. I curse whoever is out there and watches over such things as online shopping and not paying attention when placing orders and such. Stockings that don’t fit properly, is there anything worse? My posture shrinks in an effort to hold them in place as I walk. I’m virtually crouched but I arrive.
With my thighs clamped firmly together I make a beeline for our small kitchenette where I call out to the voices I hear from the adjoining offices to hold on a sec I just need a minute in here. I bend, I pull, I kick off my shoes and pull those darn stocking off then and there. Balling them up in my hands, firmly with all the aggression I feel towards them, I dump them unceremoniously in the rubbish bin.
A huge sigh of relief passes my lips as I straighten up ready to tackle the day. Bloody stockings, I curse in the general direction of the voice from earlier, anyone for a tea or coffee? And just like that it’s all over. Crisis averted. No one saw my butt today or the gusset of my stockings that were intent on working their way to my knees. That’s a win. And you’ve got to take your wins where you can get them on a day that starts out like that.
Am I right or am I right?
Hi! I’m Melissa Walker Horn. Around here, they call me Suger. I’m the Chief Blogger and doer of all the things here at Suger Coat It. Blogging since 1901; I love a casual ootd, taking photos, and writing about things that irk or inspire me. I love wine and cheese, long days at the beach and spending time with my family. I make stuff for the internet over at Chalkboard Digital. You know, living the sweet life.
I finally found the perfect pair of opaque tights. They are from an UK company, they are soft, easy to put on, don´t bunch up at the ankles. And most of all, they stay up and don´t roll down the belly.
http://www.thebigtightscompany.co.uk/shop/all-woman-60-denier-opaques/
They deliver to the whole world.
Thanks for the tip Katarina! I’ve found some good ones this year too however I had a sizing issue from a little lapse in attention. Haha. I’ll be sure to check bight tights company out though!
Georgina from the blog Fullerfigurefullerbust did a review of some of theirs pairs, if you want more info: http://fullerfigurefullerbust.com/2014/01/23/the-perfect-plus-size-tights/
Awesome! Thank you.
I’ve never had this problem.
I found stockings ( pantyhose -horrible word) that were too small would do this so I always bought the right size, or went up a size.
Yup. You’re absolutely right. It was an online order gone awry. Being lazy with the size chart as usual. 😉
Helena… I do exactly the same!! When I was in high school most of the girls used to wear a pair of undies over their stockings!! It sure does seem to do the trick….
That it does, too bad I was being all rebellious that day and ignored my mother’s advice. Haha.
I have this exact problem, it’s why I prefer footless tights as I’m it’s my feet pulling them down.
Actually I’ve taken to doing the same!
sounds weird – but I have some stockings/tights that do the same – and I wear briefs over them – sounds even weirder when you write it out :/
My Mum ALWAYS said the same thing and I usually do BUT didn’t. Mothers are always right. 😉
I have the same problem every time I wear stockings. Soooo annoying! The perfect pair still alludes me!
Keep shopping. There are lots more options out there, you just have to find a pair that works for you. And maybe, try walking in them before you start. Haha!
I had the same problem a couple of years ago at my son’s wedding. I managed to keep them from falling all the way down but I was uncomfortable the whole time.
Ugh. The worst. Whip those babies off.
You are SO RIGHT – I would like to rock some opaques under a skirt but I fear this exact scenario. Gap in the market… actual PLUS sized stockings. That really fit. Even over my guts!
Try Sonsee or City Chic, both of those varieties fit me well. Worth a shot especially if you’re tall.
You are right. Ohhhhh the bane that is stockings. I have had many a day where I have felt them drop lower and lower. Even worse if I made the stupid mistake of putting on a previously untried brand before work. As a teacher, there is no where to go once you are in your classroom. So many times I have struggled through a lesson, feeling the crotch of the stockings heading south. Or, the times I at least had the sense to put a pair of bloomers over the top to hold up, however had felt and heard an audible POP as the crotch bursts open when I swing my legs out of the car. Then I pray I don’t get a run in them. Thankfully, I have found a few brands that are more reliable. There is a brand that is sold at Big W that is rather good. I am yet to find the miracle nude stocking though.
Badly fitting stockings are THE WORST. I have a few pairs I love, these were a mistake. I’m too tall for the Big W ones, I’ve tried and failed. Le sigh.