Space relations {Not Outer Space – Personal Space}

So over the past ten days I have been in planes, waiting in terminals, riding in cars and on trains. Simple. Right!? Except that I’m a large lady. I’m 5’10 and a size 22. So there is a wide range of seat sizes on offer out there. Open ones, arm rest type ones and ones where if you lean a little too much you’ll be in your neighbours lap. And being big. I’m very conscience of only taking up my allotted space. Not an inch more.

But it seems, my skinny friends, aren’t always as concerned. Take, for one example, yesterday. Boarding my delayed flight home I arrived at my aisle seat. I was greeted with an eye roll from the women in the centre seat. As I sat and got myself settled in, her friend in the window seat asked if she was ok. Like I was going to crush her or something. Cue eye roll from me!

Once I settled in, had my book out I basically didn’t move for the brief one hour flight from Sydney to Brisbane. Wary about keeping my elbows tucked in and not encroaching on her space. Wary of my size. Self conscience in a way that I am never in day to day life. Planes just make me feel so freakin’ huge. Squished. An inconvenience to fellow passengers.

However my tiny bird of a neighbour is reading the large Sunday paper. Elbow on each arm rest widely flicking pages. Her paper flutters over my book every time she turns the page. She thinks nothing of nudging me off the armrest should I want to use it and even turns my light out when the captain says to prepare for landing. She stretches and her arms reach across my face.

All of this, the stretching, the reaching, the leaning on BOTH armrests, makes me think. Clearly this tiny, elderly woman has never felt large, squished or embarrassed by her size EVER in her life. And it made her greedy about space. Having taken up so little, perhaps she feels entitled to a little bit more than everyone else. I’m not sure. But it’s interesting isn’t it.

Soon the flight ended and I was packing my book to leave. As I stood up to await our opportunity to disembark she asked, so, love, how far along ARE you?

Cue eye roll from ME. Sigh.

Suger

November 15, 2011

Thought of the Day

27 responses to “Space relations {Not Outer Space – Personal Space}”

Chantelle {fat mum slim}

November 15, 2011 at 1:45 am

An elbow to the ribs would not have been out of the question.GRR.

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Liz

November 15, 2011 at 1:51 am

How RUDE!I agree with Chantelle – an elbow to the ribs!

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Sheri Bomb

November 15, 2011 at 1:55 am

Wow.Just wow.It just amazes me that people can be so rude.So unnecessarily.Honestly, what do people get out of it?Aside from the fact that it's more than likely going to negatively impact *you*, how can it possibly make them feel anything but negative too. For. No. Reason.Positive and negative exchanges with strangers always leave a lingering feeling. Even if for no other reason than their own selfishness, why don't people want to feel good by being nice and making a stranger smile??I would have just turned around and gone "BITCH I will CRUSH you!" :P

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Danimezza

November 15, 2011 at 1:57 am

What. A. Bitch.#beenthere xxxxxx

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My Vintage Vow

November 15, 2011 at 2:12 am

I should keep my comments PG huh?So instead I will just say rude, rude, rude, rude, RUDE.

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Tina ~ Tina Gray {dot} Me

November 15, 2011 at 2:17 am

Been there too. SO rude. (I typed other words here but remembered I'm not on my blog ;) )

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Kimmie

November 15, 2011 at 3:14 am

There is a old saying that gets used a lot "more arse than class" but in this instance with her it was a case of "no class what an absolute arse!"heheheheI am give foot ten and size 12 and would pay to swap seats to sit next to you ANY DAY!!!HugsKimmiexxx

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Kimmie

November 15, 2011 at 3:17 am

Damn typo – should read I am five foot ten not give ha!

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Danielle

November 15, 2011 at 3:40 am

or a bitch slap to the face!

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stinkb0mb

November 15, 2011 at 3:57 am

holy crap, are you serious?!?i was very fortunate to be seated next to some lovely people on my flight to and from the uk last year, no armrest hogging [btw what IS that all about?], no leaning over into my space nothing and not once did anyone roll their eyes at having to sit next to me for a 13+ hr flight in economy.and why do people always go the pregnancy route when they see someone large? you were obviously a lot more polite than i would have been! ~x~

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wait until the sunset

November 15, 2011 at 4:06 am

Okay, so for starters, vomit. I cannot believe this woman. I seriously cannot stand this kind of attitude, in fact, at the first eye roll I would have said something. And then to be so presumptuous as to turn your light off- this makes me so utterly furious. I don't care how elderly this woman was I wouldn't have been able to control myself, I would have snapped at her. The fact that people think than can treat someone so poorly because of thier size is appaling, 'I'm sorry but your skinny is all up in my grill and you're going to have to move bitch!'And then the 'how far along question' ?!?!?! WTF! For starters you don't look even mildly pregnant. My goodness I wish I was there, I would have given her a piece (or two) of my mind."yes I'm fat, no you can't catch it, no I am not going to smoosh all over you, yes I paid the same price as you for this tickets SO SHARE THE ARM REST LIKE I AM. This is two hours of your life when instead of being a henious bitch, perhaps you can get to know someone who is utterly fantastic- and so much more than your prehistoric ideas about a fat person' I pity this woman and her horrible atttitude towards life. (and yes, plane seats are so horribly squishy on all my fat and fabulousness lol ;)

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Mel

November 15, 2011 at 4:38 am

Wow that is rude! Not just the actions but then asking how far along you were?! Women should know that you never ask another woman that question unless you have undoubtable evidence that she *IS* pregnant!My sister is a size 18 and like you, very conscious of her size. Because we're around her we too have learnt to be conscious of our own space and size so hopefully we are more considerate ourselves.

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Hayley

November 15, 2011 at 5:00 am

What a cow! Don't let it get you down you are gorgeous!!! I remember flying back from Darwin with Coop when he was around 7 months old and I had to sit next to a girl a little younger then myself who thought nothing of it using both armrests and just generally being in my space. Meanwhile I am trying to deal and breastfeed my unsettled baby in less then my paid space and the bitch had the nerve to glare at me when Coop would accidentally kick her arm whilst he was feeding. Let's just say it made the whole trip horrible and I couldn't freaking wait to get off that plane 3 3/4 hours later!Sorry for the long-ass and swearing comment :P

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Sarah

November 15, 2011 at 6:16 am

My eyes are still rolling! I don't even know where to start.She obviously is very lost in her sense of entitlement. It doesn't even occur to her that she is doing exactly what she rolled her eyes at when you sat down. Taking up space. A travel fare on a plane is just that. A fare to travel. Not to be comfortable, have all the space in the world, or not have to touch somebody else. Especially if that somebody else is fat. You just know she would be the type to talk about somebody else taking up 'her space' if they were fat but would have no problem if that arm belonged to a 6ft 6, gorgeous man who appealed to her. Nobody is comfortable on a plane or cramped travel spaces. Flying is a privilege not a right and you can''t catch fat by touching arms with somebody. Just like bigotry cannot be spread by sitting next a closed minded old lady on a aeroplane.

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Trina

November 15, 2011 at 8:03 am

That is rude! When Craig and I were flying back from London to Singapore a few years back we couldn't get a seat together so had to sit one behind the other. So I went in front and didn't put the seat back because otherwise he got locked in but another couple were sitting beside us in two aisle seats but had taken sleeping pills and slept the entire 13 hour flight. We had to get the people on the otherside to move so we could get out to go to the toilet and Craig just ended up getting up and standing at the back of the plane cause it was so cramped. I am conscious of it too and dont put my arm on the arm rest if I dont know the person beside me.

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Leanne @ Uber Simplicity

November 15, 2011 at 8:46 am

Oh I so feel your pain! What is it with people out there?! BTW part of the reason I hate flying is the seats.

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Kathryn @ TikiBoo

November 15, 2011 at 9:56 am

I claim she was doing the entire paper/stretching/armrest thing on purpose. Just because she is a cow of a person.I'm a smallish person, yet I take care to keep in my own space, travel is a drag enough without making everyone else uncomfortable ON PURPOSE.Next time something like that happens, use my trick of buzzing the flight attendant to ask if they have any anti nausea medication because you aren't a very good traveller. Guaranteed to make the person next to you squirm ;-)

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Mrs Woog

November 15, 2011 at 12:31 pm

What a shocker! Nothing else to say…. Except ELBOW!

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Christie – Childhood 101

November 15, 2011 at 12:43 pm

How incredibly rude, shocking. And yet so many people (regardless of size) are so incredibly insensitive when it comes to travelling on board planes. I have nearly worn my meal when someone put their seat all the way back as I was eating. And the arm rest wrestle is always fun with strangers!

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robyn

November 15, 2011 at 12:46 pm

I am so sorry that happened to you Mel. It just shouldn't. It's ridiculous that people actually act like that!

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Mrs BC

November 15, 2011 at 1:02 pm

Ooooh how RUDE! You would have been well within your rights to shut her down. At least you get to go home to your happy home & hubby, god knows what she has attracted into her life. What can you expect from a pig, but a grunt? You are beautiful inside & out, you don't deserve that crap.xx

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Jayne

November 16, 2011 at 1:27 pm

That's appalling behaviour. Did it make her feel better about herself? I certainly hope not.

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Tracy

November 17, 2011 at 12:47 am

What a rude cow! How did you maintain your composure? You are such a wonderful, lovely, funny and engaging person and that woman has no idea what she is missing out on. Bitch.

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LadyMunchkinio

November 18, 2011 at 12:07 am

I recently flew back from Europe and had the same problem,only for 14 hours!Super Skinny seem to think it was okay to use both the window to sleep on and then the arm rest between us. The rule is-you got the window,you leave the arm rest ALONE! I felt embarrassed if I had to lean one way or another to find my seatbelt…..

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Anonymous

November 18, 2011 at 10:21 am

She knew you weren't pregnant, she was just being rude. Grrrr. What is it with people! I would have tripped her as she went past!!Michelle

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Deb @ home life simplified

November 19, 2011 at 12:58 am

What a crazy cow – so sorry she had no class! the newspaper behaviour alone would have had me in confrontation mode – the rest would have had hubby restraining me and telling me to let it go

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GemmaJoy

November 20, 2011 at 8:10 am

What a cow!!! She should take a flight in America then she'll know what big on plane is

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Space relations {Not Outer Space – Personal Space}

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