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Empty page.

I’m sitting and staring at this empty page and I want to say so much. I’m stuck in that place between wanting to share, to get it all out and privacy. It’s a fine line that we all have to draw in the sand for ourselves. There’s a lot about me here. If someone was so inclined they could find a lot of my secrets here. My hopes, dreams, failures and heartbreaks.
Most days, I love that.
Today I feel vulnerable and exposed. For no particular reason I am questioning the abandon that I usually display in laying myself bare here. For no reaon, really. Life goes on just as it always has. The roller coaster of ups and downs. Higher ups and lowest of low downs. Patience it seems, is the theme of this lifetime for me. Not a bad thing, just a reminder that lessons that go I unlearnt return full force to test you. Push you.
Most days, I love that.
Today I am tired, deflated, upset. Again. I want to exchange all the gifts and generous blessings in my life for what I want. For the things I am missing to arrive here now. For the waiting to be over. For things to go to plan. I want my life to work out as I SAY it will. I don’t want to wait anymore. I don’t want to learn patience or other important lessons. I want it. I want it now.
Don’t make me do this anymore. I don’t want to.
Most days, I do.

Suger

14 responses to “Empty page.”

  1. Kimmie Avatar
    Kimmie

    I am hearing you loud and clear!xxx

    Reply
  2. Gemma @ My Big Nutshell Avatar
    Gemma @ My Big Nutshell

    learning lessons and patience, ahhh sometimes you just want to get where you want to be without the blood, sweat and tears. xxxx

    Reply
  3. My Vintage Vow Avatar
    My Vintage Vow

    Oh honey big squishy cyber hugs. So full of emotion this post, I feel you. I wish for you all those things you're asking for……sending fulfilled dream vibes your way. X

    Reply
  4. Cherie Avatar
    Cherie

    It's just a phase Darling … you can make it happen and you will after you have a day off, or is that an off day? ♥

    Reply
  5. pinktutu72 Avatar
    pinktutu72

    I think that's probably something we all go through. Where you feel like the wonderful things you have are not what you wanted at all. I do count my blessings but sometimes I wish I had a different life with lots of money and no ties lots of travel and handsome boytoys! But I know that I am grateful for what I have now even though that other stuff seem like it'd be more fun. Don't be too hard on yourself!Hugs and comfortKarlene

    Reply
  6. Joni Llanora Avatar
    Joni Llanora

    Hugs to you. We've all been on that place & I think it is healthy to acknowledge just what we feel regardless of how people judge us. It is real. And it hurts. But it will get better. Just let it all out.

    Reply
  7. Amy Avatar
    Amy

    Oh Suger! I don't usually do this… but hugs to you.xx

    Reply
  8. Suzi Avatar
    Suzi

    I hate being patient too, I guess it's good for us, makes us appreciate the result better or something. It's hard to know what to say out loud sometimes, I have that many posts that stay drafts or in my head cause I'm just not ready. Hugs to you – this will pass xx

    Reply
  9. River Avatar
    River

    Take a day off Suger, do nothing, put your feet up, read, daydream, things will work out.(((hugs)))

    Reply
  10. katsicles Avatar
    katsicles

    I know the feeling exactly but it does us no good to indulge in the sads for too long, sweetness.Tomorrow is another day and we have to keep believing that we're getting one day closer to our dreams coming true or at least trust that everything is happening for us as it should – as frustrating as that is to try and do… I should know…Would love to give you a great big hug right now xoxo

    Reply
  11. Leonie Avatar
    Leonie

    oh gosh, its like youve been in my head!! seriously.Nice to find you here through twitter :)

    Reply
  12. E. Avatar
    E.

    Thinking of you.

    Reply
  13. Katie Avatar
    Katie

    Lots of love and hugs xxx No matter how grown up you are sometimes it's hard not to be impatient xx

    Reply
  14. Kate Avatar
    Kate

    interesting point of view

    Reply

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