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Sometimes life happens

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my relationship. How it came about and what it still has in store. I didn’t plan on getting married until I was at least thirty. So I don’t feel off track. I don’t feel like I’m behind others because we don’t have kids. For me, it was never really something I planned to do early. And even though I want kids I don’t feel that I am less interesting, fulfilled or exciting because I don’t have any. 
But I worry about my Hubby. For him the plan was a little more immediate. Wife, house, kids, sad ass old mini van = life is good. He would have loved to have kids as soon as possible. For him, life is about the whole world of that. He loves me, there’s no question of that. I worry sometimes that that will change. When it gets dark in my mind and my fears surround me.   
I mean, what if this never happens for us. What if we never have children. Will the two of us be enough? For him or for me? I don’t worry about us having a full and wonderful life. But I do worry about it eating away at us. Chipping away at things like hope and faith and the willingness to expect good things. Could it chip away at us enough to break us?
   
Who knows. But this I know. I love him. Badly. And he loves me. We want enough of the same things to keep us together. We have more than enough differences to keep it interesting. And we see them. Our kids. Waiting. Biding their time. Being total shits, just like their father.
After all, timing is everything. 

Suger

15 responses to “Sometimes life happens”

  1. Madmother Avatar
    Madmother

    None of us know what the future has in store for us, and wouldn't it take the fun out of the ride if we did?PS Are those your hands?If yes, then freaky – WE have the SAME hands…Cue Twilight Zone music…

    Reply
  2. Amy xxoo Avatar
    Amy xxoo

    Timing is INDEED everything, and in sure as hell cant be controlled in terms of TTC. As you know i already have one child and he was a suprise packet, conceived 6 weeks into a new relationship – thankfully with a man i love and completely adore. We are getting married in 5 weeks and hoping to conceive on our honeymoon. But who knows if it will happen as easily this time around? Or if it will happen at all? I am completely in love with my son but if i never had another child would i have regrets?So many questions, so many variables to consider… hopefully we both find what we're looking for in time…

    Reply
  3. My Vintage Vow Avatar
    My Vintage Vow

    I have lost 4 beautiful cherubs but am fortunate enough to have had 2 successful pregnancies as well. After losing my first pregnancy twin girls at half way and subsequent losses…..all I can tell you and have learnt with my earthbound children is that they have their own time schedule, they fly in on their own stars. Mr. Suger sounds as though he is showing his measure as a man standing side by side with you in this journey. Much love to you both.

    Reply
  4. Melissa {Suger} Avatar
    Melissa {Suger}

    MM, these are Hubby's hands but mine are just a smaller, shorter nail version. So yes, ha ha, same hands!! :D

    Reply
  5. stinkb0mb Avatar
    stinkb0mb

    it's hard, marriage takes work, as does any relationship and can be tough work at the best of times, add in ttc and all that comes with it and you've got something else that can slowly eat away at your relationship/marriage and take a toll.after 12 years together, 11 years of those married and all of those married years spent ttc [we threw the birth control out before getting married] – i know that i'm enough for Guv, i know that the two of us will be enough.it did start eating and chipping away at me but i'm putting a stop to that, that's what my recent posts on my blog are all about, it's my own form of therapy, i need to work through all these feelings that longterm ttc [and failing] brings with it.i'm still keeping everything crossed that motherhood is in your future, you never know you may have an italia bambino!~x~

    Reply
  6. Lifeasmummymax Avatar
    Lifeasmummymax

    Some close family of mine got married later in life. TTC for years and had many miscarriages. They are childless and are still together today. Im sure it was a challenge to get through it but they did. I hope everything happens goes smoothly once that timing is right xx

    Reply
  7. Sydney Shop Girl Avatar
    Sydney Shop Girl

    Thank you for this post, Melissa.You know that I'm going through all of this with you.Throughout it all, I agree, we should never lose sight of the people we already have in our lives and who love us dearly.SSG xxx

    Reply
  8. Sheri Bomb Avatar
    Sheri Bomb

    You know that annoying thing where you search the house top to bottom for that thing you really need right now and can't find it but come tomorrow when you don't need it there it is? I think life can be a lot like that. I've spent time in my life searching desperately for things only to have them land in my lap the minute I stopped looking. I like to think it's the universes way of reminding us who's boss and wanting to surprise us with good things when we least expect it.Afterall, aren't the best presents the ones you weren't expecting?It's so obvious how much you love each other and it's such a beautiful thing to see. You are an amazing woman and I imagine Kel has his hands full with you as it is ;) I want only happiness for you and I know you have amazing things coming your way…waiting around the corner to surprise you in the most unexpected and wonderful ways.All my love as always xo

    Reply
  9. Zoe Avatar
    Zoe

    Geeps.. Talk about making me teary.You guys are am awesome couple and will always find fun ways to keep things interesting. Just keep on loving those little things that you first fell in love with and all will be ok. :)HUGS

    Reply
  10. MummyK Avatar
    MummyK

    I love this post. One of the reasons why I decided to have a child was because I was afraid if I didn't we'd break up. I never really wanted kids but he did. I'm glad I opened up that option for us though.

    Reply
  11. Wanderlust Avatar
    Wanderlust

    You just never know what life has in store, I don't think any of us end up with the lives we planned (save for an annoying handful). But when there is love between you that's a really strong glue. xoxo

    Reply
  12. GemmaJoy Avatar
    GemmaJoy

    Big hugs!!

    Reply
  13. Talia Avatar
    Talia

    You two are so awesome. Seriously a great inspirational couple.I think your feels are valid, and I understand them. All the 'what-ifs' that come up if you think about it too long!!I think, for us, marriage is about compromise and open communication. You two must have that pretty well down pat by now, so as long as you keep those two things up, you can work through anything, including changing your dreams, and finding new ones.For Luke and I- I had to embrace his dream of travelling and seeing the world. And he had to embrace my dream of having kiddliwinks a bit sooner then he ever dreamed! I guess that's the nice things about compromises like that- I Love our overseas adventures, and he's super excited about this little pumpkin inside me.I'm not sure how you'd feel about this (hoepfully positively!?) but I do pray often that you and Kelvin get those kids you're after (I like to think that your kids exist, they're just waiting to be brought into your family!), and that your end up being old and and inlove still, one day. xo

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  14. Talia Avatar
    Talia

    Also, sorry I ramble on so much when I comment! Hahaha

    Reply
  15. E. Avatar
    E.

    Life just happens to us all. Sometimes the way we planned but probably less often than we would like.I'm very happy that you and K have such a strong bond. Your love for him shines in every post you write about him. I'm sure he feels the same.

    Reply

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