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| Todays lunch didn’t have the ham. But was pretty much this. |
I awoke late this morning, again. Checked in with my Dad to see if I was to be the Hubby replacement on the work site {Hubby had been called away to drive a truck for a friend today}. Turns out Dad had the job well in hand. I wasn’t needed. So I showered, got dressed, ate a boiled egg and went to run some errands and grab a coffee.
Upon arrival at GJ’s I started this little conversation with myself;
Geez. I’m actually quite hungry. Great. There’s nothing I can eat HERE. Pout.
Well, what about a toasted sandwich?
What? A HAM one? With cheese, on the whitest, fattest bread ever? Errr, I don’t think so. Sugar free, remember? Pull it together you.
I don’t think it will hurt, it’s just the one sandwich…No way, come on, it’s 9 days. Too soon for one big fat sugary sandwich.
But I’m hungry. Get the sandwich. Seriously. I’m hungry. This is how it works. If you’re hungry, you can eat. No biggie. Really. Get the sandwich. Do it now. Quick. Decide. it’s almost our time.
Fine. Shut up. I’ll get the sandwich.
So I ordered my usual decaf latte in a big mug and quietly ordered a ham and cheese toastie. I handed over my GJ card and my cash and died a little on the inside. Well there it goes. On the 10th day and I blew it. This is stupid. I’m not even that hungry. Berate, berate, guilty guilts.
The not in italics voice {from above} was back. The voice of determination, commitment and change. And she was pissed off. Now some work HAS to be done to quit the guilts, yes, but she was right. I didn’t want this. Not really. A coffee would have more than satisfied me until I got home for lunch. I was habit craving. I was missing my little tradition.
As I realised this, I looked up, the young pretty blonde girl that had served me was at my table with my coffee. Sorry, she said, we don’t have any ham & cheese, do you want something else? Or your money back? That’s completely fine. I said. Money back thanks. She must have thought I was crazy given the half giggle I let out and the giant grin on my face. I’d been saved from myself. Lesson learned.
Eat a better breakfast. And sometimes, you’re not THAT hungry, you just want to be.
10 days & counting.
Suger 
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