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Post Wedding Name Changing

One of our favourite photos. LOVE.
Let me start this off by asking just how long you’ve been loitering these hallowed pages? There is good reason for this query. You see, if you joined us after January 2010 you would have missed the post about why I hadn’t changed my name. Or why I didn’t. Since I still haven’t. Not officially anyway. If you’re curious you can check it out here. 
But about 12 months ago. I made a concession. Of sorts. I gave Hubby facebook. As in. I added his name to mine on Facebook. So there is was. I became Melissa Walker Horn. No hyphen. I imagine you need to legally change your name if you want a hyphen. Which I don’t. So yes. There we are. I gave him facebook. 
At the time I thought it was a small gesture of hey honey, see, everyone was wrong when they said I didn’t love you enough to change my name. I totally do. Not that he needed it. But, errr, some OTHERS did. But now, this small thing is huge. 
Everyone uses this full double barrel name. Like EVERYONE. I am pretty sure my mother even does it now. Which is weird. Actually, even I’ve started using it on forms and everything because I see it so often. I am, after all, pretty prolific on facebook. It kinda looks like it happened after all. Over 6 years on. By programming default perhaps. I became Melissa N. Walker Horn. I am a four namer. 
Errr, does this mean I should go to the court house and fill out some paperwork?
What happened to my OTHER plan?
How did this happen!?

Suger

14 responses to “Post Wedding Name Changing”

  1. Angela Avatar
    Angela

    I did the *same* thing!With no intention of changing my name when I got married, I added my husbands on the end of mine on facebook…it caught on like wildfire and even had an employer (who was also a friend) put it on my paycheck.Oddly, the bank never caught on and I had no problem cashing it, even though it is definitely not my legal name.Its bizarre how people hold so hard onto tradition that they wind up changing your name for you because its what seems 'right' to them.Oh and hi there! Im one of those lurkers. :)

    Reply
  2. Amy Avatar
    Amy

    The 'to keep, not to keep' issue seems to be more and more common. Me, I was eager to get rid of my maiden name. Whether it was because I got married young (20) and hadn't really spent a lot of time carving out a spot for me in the world with that name. I was pretty eager to share a name with my husband and feel so much more an 'Amy J' rather than an 'Amy B'.

    Reply
  3. Toushka Lee Avatar
    Toushka Lee

    my maiden name is Manson, so I got rid of that asap. for obvious reasons. But I still haven't gotten around to changing it in all the right places. Like on my licence. If only it was as easy as facebook.

    Reply
  4. sharnee Avatar
    sharnee

    I didn't change my name after marriage and 6 months later my husband was like "uh, what's happening there?" – so because 1) we got married overseas and 2) we are a bit crazy…. we combined names into our now surname. No hyphens. We both went to BDM and legally changed our name – I have a new birth certificate and all. I didn't mind my husbands name, and I liked my old name – but creating a new name and going forth together with a surname that has 100% never existed before now is our commitment to each other (and I think it's terribly romantic!).Our kids will have a lot of explaining to do :PYou can probably change your last name at the BDM (dont know if it needs a hyphen or not!). You should get your husband on board too! :)

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  5. Amanda Avatar
    Amanda

    I did kinda the opposite – I changed it officially just after we got married (got married o/s so didn't do it till we moved back to Oz a few months later) but I kept writing under my maiden name and then there were two groups of people who probably thought I was two different people so I added my maiden name back in (yes, on Facebook first!) and now I get cheques to that weird double name (bank also doesn't care) and have no idea what to call myself. I love the commenter above where both people changed their name, very cool. Only if we combined our two surnames we would get very weird names!

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  6. stink-bomb Avatar
    stink-bomb

    it was a no brainer for me – i was always going to change my name.now everything except my passports are in my married name. the only reason why my passports are still in my maiden name is because the Passport office won't accept my English marriage certificate as proof of change of name [even though EVERY SINGLE OTHER GOVERNMENT DEPARTMENT has!] and they want me to fork out just under $200 for a certificate to change my name – don't think so!!~x~

    Reply
  7. Thea Avatar
    Thea

    I was super eager to change my name. I loved my mainden name but I always wanted to have the same name as my husband, I wouldn't feel 'married' if I didn't. Unfortunately…I did it twice…so I've had 3 different surnames…doh!

    Reply
  8. River Avatar
    River

    I hyphenated the day we married, which turned out to be a huge hassle when I wanted to drop his name after we divorced. Even though I'd still been using just my own name for everything including at work and on credit cards, etc.

    Reply
  9. Melissa Avatar
    Melissa

    I hadn't read your original post, I think that I had just started getting to 'know' you then, and didn't have you on FB. I've always thought of you as Melissa Walker-Horn. With a hyphen,lol. I'd not even considered whether there was supposed to he a hyphen, whether one or both of those names were 'yours', 'his' or both. I changed my name, but there's a tiny part of me that wishes I'd double-barrelled. More for my Dad's sake. Dad and I are estranged from my siblings, so it might have been nice for him to have me carry that for him. But at the time, it was all years away from being a consideration.

    Reply
  10. Melissa Avatar
    Melissa

    LOVE that photo, by the way. It really is beautiful.

    Reply
  11. Amy xxoo Avatar
    Amy xxoo

    Its 3 and half months til i get married ( argh – its getting close! ) and i will be changing my name. I've already developed a new signature and everything…For me, i want to have the same surname as my husband but, more importantly to me, i want to have the same surname as my son. Or rather, my son have the same surname as me. All of us, together, under one umbrella…

    Reply
  12. Kel Avatar
    Kel

    I kept my maiden name and have the longest double barrel surname in the world! Seriously, it doesn't fit on forms…!I hyphenated it after we were married simply because I am an only child, and I felt it was an important part of my identity, and to show that although I'm married I am still very proud of my roots. I think too it was an important gesture to my Dad, to show him that although he doesn't have a son to carry on the name, I was going to anyway.Funnily enough I had my paternal grandfather tell me I was being an awful wife and disrespectful to my husband for not allowing hubby to choose what I did with my surname.Needless to say we both thought he was nuts!I think this is as big a deal as you make it, and you can make it whatever you want. It's your name, no one else's and if you're happy, that's all that matters x

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  13. Mrs BC Avatar
    Mrs BC

    I think legally the dealio is that at marraige, the bride can change her name (watch this loophole) to ANYTHING SHE DAMN WELL PLEASES. No, seriously, there is absolutely nothing to say she has to change it to her husbands surname, just a legal provision for her to change it if she wishes. The Groom, however has no such provision. I know this because like Sharnee, we both combined our surnames. I was B, he was C, & with our powers combined we are Mr & Mrs B-C. Booyah! No hassle for me, 2 years & a legal change of name for him. But soooo worth it!x

    Reply
  14. littleloulou Avatar
    littleloulou

    This was such a controversial issue in our house about 6 months before we were married. For some reason her was uber concerned about what his dad would think, and without any better justification than that I of course won!

    Reply

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