Today Sheri from Sheri Bomb is guest posting for us. When I asked for guest posts I received a few offers from people wanting to do weight loss/healthy living posts. I decided I really wanted to show you Sheri’s post after having a read through her blog and loving the fun, the freedom and the vibrancy of it.
I might have missed my opportunity to catch up for a proper chat at the Hello Blogger Events Sushi Meet, but I will be sure to catch up soon. You know when you can just tell that you would just, loooove someone. So read on as she shares some of her story with us. And around here, we loooove a good story.
I used to be fat. It’s such an ugly word, mainly because it is hurtful especially when directed at you. Unfortunately for some people it is the ugly truth and the sooner you are able to face that fact, the happier you’ll become whether you want to change it or not.
It certainly helped me become a healthier, happier person. I was fat, and I’m not just talking a little bit overweight or slightly on the pudgy side. I was a women’s size 16-18 when I was just 13 and at 5 foot nothin’ that is just a whole load of health problems just waiting to happen.
I was always unhappy about my weight, never felt confident or attractive in any way and of course, as we all know how cruel kids can be, I was also the butt of many a mean joke and nasty nickname. I was unhealthy, depressed and had an extremely negative self-image. I looked in the mirror and absolutely hated what I saw. And it was painful. I didn’t just want to be ‘pretty’ or skinny…I wanted to be happy and feel like I am worth something.
It wasn’t until my senior years of high school that I really decided to do something about it. My eating habits up until this point were very bad, not only was I eating the wrong things but I was eating too much in general. I guess the turning point was realising I wanted to look nice for my school formal. So I started eating healthier and eating less. I’ve never really been one for exercise (and I’m still not to be honest!) but I did what I could when I could just by walking to school and a few small workouts at home. I didn’t even really want anyone to know I was trying in case I couldn’t shift the weight. I dreaded adding ‘failure’ to my list of negative internal dialogue.
It’s amazing what a difference this can make. A small amount of exercise and better eating habits was all it took and I started noticing a difference. Only a little bit at first…and little by little other people started to notice too. By the time I hit uni I wasn’t the fat girl anymore! Sure I was no supermodel (and I never will be) but I was certainly a healthier shape.
Although my body was changing, it was still very hard for me to reconcile this in my mind. In my head I was still that fat girl that people made fun of and none of the guys wanted to date. It was around this time that I was really starting to get into the rockabilly scene and not only were the classic fashions very flattering for a slightly fuller figure, but I discovered the earlier stages of the pin up revival.
Always one for taking risks and trying new things to keep life interesting, it was a self-conscious and slightly terrified me who lined up a couple of photoshoots. The first one was terrible! With no experience the photographer I chose was cheap but not really familiar with the style and pictures have never seen the light of day. However a stroke of luck brought me across a number of excellent photographers and before I knew it I had some amazing photos! Photos that I could look at and say ‘you know what, I am actually an attractive girl’ and the most amazing thing to me was that so many other people agreed!
It was especially satisfying when people who were cruel to me in school came across my pictures. The compliments were flying, and I was gracious, and I smiled and thanked them. But inside, I was saying fuck you, I don’t need you to tell me I’m attractive. I was always a person worth knowing, you just didn’t take the time to find that out. And now you’re married to a fat girl. IN. YOUR. FACE. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not at all bitter. I just find the irony incredibly satisfying.
I am now a healthier size 10-12 and although I still have to keep an eye on my weight, I definitely have a healthier attitude to myself and food. I don’t feel guilty eating junk food because I know it is ok to eat them sometimes. I don’t do the pin up modelling anymore either. Sure it was fun, and there’s still so much great stuff out there. But I’m just comfortable and happy with myself now, I don’t feel the need to be validated by other people.
The psychological change in me was actually bigger than the physical change in me and the people that know me now don’t even realise how big I used to be. In fact, many of them remark that they love my confidence, I walk tall but without seeming up myself. This is definitely not a conscious thing, but it sure is nice to know I come across that way.
Sometimes I think it takes more than just healthy eating and exercise to lose weight, you have to be in the right frame of mind. Not only committed to achieving the result, but allowing yourself to feel worthy and supporting yourself along the way.
Feeling worthy is something I think we all struggle with deep down, including me even now. I’m proud to say I love the person I am, but I still sometimes don’t feel worthy enough for some of the opportunities or people that I have in my life. So I am by no means the perfect example, but hopefully this post is enough to flick the switch in someone’s head.
You don’t have to change if you don’t want to.
You don’t have to live up to what other people think.
You just have to be happy being you.
Suger 
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