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One last chance

Beautiful isn’t it?
{If this is YOUR image please email me, it was not credited on the site I got it from}
Well hello end of February. Hello AF. Hello the beginning of March just a few short days away. Hello unfulfilled wishes and dreams. Hello disappointment. Hello reassessing. You see, this coming month will be our last chance to conceive before we hit the two year mark of active trying to conceive a baby {obviously, puppies would be an unusual thing to aim for}. How i will handle this TTC milestone is beyond me now. We’ll see in the coming months. 
But TTC has been at the forefront of my mind today. I dreamt about it last night. Pregnant bellies followed me around the shops. An excited retail assistant announced her news to my sister in a shop. A pregnancy was even on the old episode of Family Ties I watched this afternoon. I am hyper alert but surprisingly not hyper sensitive at the moment to TTC and pregnancy’s. And I think this is due to the fact that I’ve come up with a plan B.
Plan B is to visit our Renovating Italy friends later October {after my cousin’s wedding, if they are ready for guests} and if we are not pregnant, I want to stay. Or stay for a while anyway. Travel around. Revel. Cook and laugh and live and explore. And write. Oh, and renovate, of course. 
Or if by some strange series of events that can’t happen, I want to buy a van and trip around Australia or move to the Sunshine Coast or start a business with my sister. Everything, anything. And I think that has made all the difference. I don’t feel as adrift. So pointless and useless and unexpressed. So lost. Thanks to all of you who offered me wise words. 
I found my feet and made some plans. I feel good. Surprised? I was too.  
{Please also say a prayer for my friend Kim’s daughter Kirra. Kirra was born at 34 weeks and is progressing well. She needs to put on about 5g to be sent home with her Mummy and Daddy. Kim also needs your prayers for strength and patience and high quality breast milk. As most of you know, I’ve never been much of a pray’er, these days though, I find myself asking more and more of the something’ness}     

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15 responses to “One last chance”

  1. The Fat Lady Avatar
    The Fat Lady

    Ahh yes, I definitely think it helps to have a Plan B. And your Plan B is awesome – ours was just 'go out to restaurant more' :)

    Reply
  2. Recursively Avatar
    Recursively

    Not that this helps, but we are in ETC – year eleven, and still hopeful. Don't get discouraged! Keep the faith, sister! Who knows, year twelve just might be the magic number for us, and I feel certain you will beat that by a long shot!

    Reply
  3. ForeverRhonda Avatar
    ForeverRhonda

    Maybe I need a Plan B, but ya know…we've been trying for 8 months and since I have a child from a previous relationship I thought it would be easy. It's so disappointing every single month.

    Reply
  4. ForeverRhonda Avatar
    ForeverRhonda

    And by the way that nursery is uber adorable and I'm liking the new blog look!!

    Reply
  5. Katie Avatar
    Katie

    Doesn't help when nsensitive blog friends throw their children in your face : ( I love your plan B, and you must get your hair done by a beautiful Italian man.while drinking some sort of liquor!

    Reply
  6. Andrea Avatar
    Andrea

    Good luck with both plans, either way it sounds like you are going to have fabulous life xx

    Reply
  7. Melissa *Suger Coat It* Avatar
    Melissa *Suger Coat It*

    Katie for goodness sake, don't be silly. There has been four pregnancy announcements this fortnight. Babies {and inevitably children} happen. Or this is what they tell me! ;)Thanks for the comments everyone. It's always such a scary thing to put these thoughts and info out into the great unknown. You're always so kind.

    Reply
  8. Anonymous Avatar
    Anonymous

    Mel let your friend know that my friend lisa had her little boy at not quite 26 weeks and he is doing great and turned one in December, it has been a long road for her and still some challenges to come but she has a beautiful strong willed little boy who is doing great!!!! kw

    Reply
  9. River Avatar
    River

    I love that nursery!! I remember a friend in Sydney who had a completely outfitted nursery for 5 years. She even had bottles and baby feeding dishes! After I'd lived across the road from her for 2 years and had my third baby during that time, she eventually fell pregnant and had a little boy. I think that relaxing and getting on with life is a good idea for you. Forget about pregnancy and just enjoy work and holidays and let it be a surprise when it happens. Trying too hard or too often is stressful enough and a stressed body often won't do what you want it to. One tip my first husband had for friends of his was to not have sex for a month, then continue as normal. She had her first baby six weeks after I had my third.

    Reply
  10. Miss Ruby Avatar
    Miss Ruby

    your plan b sounds brilliant.now that our plan a is out the window for good *sigh* [still not fine with that, not sure i ever will be] i desperately need a plan b but what i have no idea and that's part of the problem.i have a need to go to italy, tuscany to be precise but if i do it will be alone as the Guv has no desire to go there – maybe that's part of the problem too?good luck with your dream my friend, i will pray that october doesn't come off for you because that will mean you're knocked up!!~x~

    Reply
  11. Sydney Shop Girl Avatar
    Sydney Shop Girl

    Take care, Melissa.I love the sound of Plan B.SSG xxxSydney Shop Girl blog

    Reply
  12. Amy Avatar
    Amy

    I wish there was some 'secret' I could give you. 'Just go on a holiday'. 'Just relax'. 'Just eat pineapple for five weeks straight'. It really sucks that it's so easy for some people and so hard for others. I'm not comparing this in any way, because it's not the same, but I got a glimpse into TTC when when we tried for our second baby- the first month, after two agonizing long weeks of interpreting every sneeze, I tested and had a BFN.I remember the way that felt, and can't even imagine doing that over and over again for months. You are brave and strong and I know you will handle whatever is coming.

    Reply
  13. Brittonie W Avatar
    Brittonie W

    Its a good thing to reassess sometimes. When you are focusing so hard on something.. sometimes it does not happen. But when you are living your life, having fun, enjoying yourself and just being happy, then things seem to fall into place.I wish you all the best, and hope that enjoy life, with whatever it brings you!

    Reply
  14. Esse Devi Avatar
    Esse Devi

    *hugs* It is such a hard state to be in the TTC. We were in the state for 8 years, with 9 pregnancies and we did get No. 4 to go to term. So best of luck, don't give up but DO live! We didn't LIVE! We were only about trying and it was 8 years of torture.I love Plan B and wish I had made one of those for us. I would also like to say – go to a Chiro or get a massage – my issue turned out to be a dodgy vertebrae out of place at the point where the messages go to my ovaries/uterus.If nothing else, a massage is always beneficial. :-D

    Reply
  15. katsicles Avatar
    katsicles

    Hi, random stalker alert – finally decided to comment…My heart goes out to you Melissa.I haven't gotten to the TTC fork in the road yet (still 5 more months of "naturally" trying to go) but after 2 years I know how hard it is to feel the sting of disappointment month after month when the dreaded lady friend appears or the blue line does not.Best of luck to you dearest and I know you'll treasure every minute of your plan B xx

    Reply

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