We were talking today about The Biggest Loser. About the sheer size of some of the contestants amongst other things. It raged for a while. I got a little lost in my thoughts. I know the debate has been raging about the show, the design of it and the treatment of the contestants. I’m not buying into all that. This is about me.

I am overweight. Big time. You all know this. You’ve seen the complaining and the planning around this on here often enough. And the thing that I was thinking about today was how did I get here. How did this happen. I don’t want this. I don’t know how I got here. 

I know the path back. I know what needs to be done. But really, does knowing make any difference? I have known for years. For almost 10 years that I don’t want this. And it has made no difference. Ok so there have been times it made some difference and then it stopped. But overall nothing has changed. 

So I go digging, in those emotional black spots for the key. I dig and undercover and dispose of them. And bit by bit I chip away. I am chipping away everything that is not me. Like Michaelangelo when he was asked how he created the statue David, he said he just chipped away everything that wasn’t David. 

And so I keep chipping away. I am looking forward to it. Monday. We go again. New shoes this week! Very exciting. Week 2 of the Couch to 5km. Attempt one tonight ended in massive cramps after only 10 minutes. But I’ll go again. And again. And again.