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| From margonaut.com |
In every marriage where you take a moment, look at what you have and sigh with complete satisfaction. For some it is immediate. I worry that for some that it will take a lifetime. And for me? The moment took about this long. Until now. I have had lots of moments of happy and joy and love and pride. But it was tricky and evasive that old satisfaction thing.
I blame my personality. This construct I invented to say who I am. This personality is never satisfied. Always annoyed. And mostly wants to keep moving but never finishes anything. Has dreams up to the eyeballs and does nothing about them. Is angst’ie and worries about being good enough. And until now it has kept satisfaction at bay. And I have allowed it.
Boo hiss.
But last night we {Hubby and me} sipped a wine, watched a movie, laughed and had dinner together. And I realised that the keep on moving what’s next thing could go to hell. Do I hope that a baby, an extended visit to Italy, a cafe/bookshop, writing and more happen in this lifetime. Of course. But for now, right now, I am where I am. I have what I have. I am doing what I am doing. And I choose it all. It is mine. My life. My time. Mine. And all that leaves me with?
Satisfaction.
And it is kinda nice.
Happy Saturday!

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