I always thought that line of the song {whatever it was} was quite mean. Kinda like saying your only happy when everyone else is unhappy. You’re a jerk. Basically. Anyway. This post isn’t about that.
It’s trying to rain here but for once it isn’t succeeding. I took the photo above of our laundry the other week. The REALLY rainy week. Just because it looked a little ridiculous and overly colour co-ordinated. I was going to post about the rain and how the hell you are meant to have clean (dry) clothes without running the dryer non-stop. But I got over it. As I do.
And today I was going to write about a few things as I went about my day. Not being overly inspired on this, my lunch break, I thought that it is about time I did a things I thought I would blog about but they didn’t seem big enough to have their own post thingy.
I meant to tell you, I fell off the wagon hard this weekend after visiting my naturpath. I didn’t drink but boy oh boy, I ate about everything I would prefer I don’t eat. I drank lots of caffeinated soda (I had given up caffeine too this month reducing to a single caffeinated beverage a day at most). And I cooked cupcakes, iced them and proceeded to eat a large portion of them. And why this reckless caution to the wind’ness? Well my report card was good. The things I have been doing are working. All looks good. It’s not a if it’s a when. Actually I wouldn’t be surprised if it happens anytime now (for the third month in a row). Yay. But still no baby.
And I pitched a short tempered, impatient fit. And went a bit nuts. It turns out, as Hubby will attest, that I haven’t exactly put the idea of falling pregnant out of my mind (those that said so should save their I told you so’s for the comments box :oP ). In fact it is worse. When my cycles lined up for the first time in AGES three months ago, it got lots worse. But the longing was in secret and living with only me and Hubby (who overhears it often). Hope. That tricky bastard.
And in other news, I saw the most amazing sunset yesterday with storm clouds, blue skies and filtering light. It was amazing and I couldn’t help thinking that maybe I need to pack the giant camera and take it with me everywhere. Somehow, the iPhone never quite captures it in the same way.
And lately I have been dreaming about Italy. It is all I can think about. I dream of packing up my life here and moving, even if it is for 6 months. I don’t care. I dream of lazy afternoons and sunny heat. I dream of red glasses of wine, perfectly formed and lush. I dream of Hubby and I in matching cotton and linen whites hand in hand wandering the streets. I picture us raising our children there. It is all so real and I wonder if I have the guts to make it a reality.
Or if what I really want is regular vacations in beautiful Italy and my cafe/bookstore. Even though my perfect shop is already full up with a garden store. And then, I wonder if I will ever be really settled on one or the other because if we were to fall pregnant, than what!? That is one of the difficult things in our trying but not trying thing. My life, it feels in limbo, controlled by something that may not happen for us for year or decades, or could happen next month. How do TTC’ers deal with that?
I am reading Sweet Poison, or I am about to start. Have you read it? My Father says that it will change the way I look at some of the foods I eat forever. Sigh. That is a big commitment. Forever is a long time. And so I will tentatively start and see what happens.
And I saw this guy, riding a post’ie bike (very small Honda motorcycle, about the size of a big push bike with what looks like a pump engine running it) with long, long legs, yellow socks, a bright orange shirt and pink helmet. He was waving a stick around his head to deter the nesting Magpies. And I couldn’t hep but think that this little visual could have just made my day. Mostly because I didn’t see a Magpie anywhere.
Anyway. what’s new with you?
Suger 
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