You can expect to wander the baby book isles and take sneaky photos with your camera for your blog so you can write this post that has been stewing in your head for a while. Or not. That could just be me. You see I wandered into this whole TTC thing with no idea what to expect. I didn’t even know I was entering until is was ages later. There must be books out there. There are definitely blogs and forums. And this is my little guide. My thoughts on what to expect when you find yourself not expecting.
Before we struggled to conceive after losing our baby we had no idea to expect to be made wait. The first time we got pregnant it was fast. Only a cycle or two passed and we were there. And then, we weren’t.
So first, expect the unexpected. Both good and bad news. Expect life to happen. Ups and downs. Good days and day you wanna kick that cute dog next door {not that I ever would}. Know that really you have no idea or control or say in THIS matter. it is sooo out of your hands, to some degree.
Expect to be sad and happy at the same time. Excited and devastated. Others announcing pregnancies and having babies will be just as exciting and as happy a time as it always was. And now, for me it always has a side order of, when will it be my turn. I WANT that. Give it to me now. Now, now, now. Which brings me to, expect to get impatient. With yourself, your body your partner, your doctor… whoever.
Expect to find yourself in situations where people expect you to react a certain way. They will shoot you sideways glances, worried looks and sometimes, and these are the worst, pitying looks. I have found that mouthing ‘What? What’s the matter?’ while giving them a confused look helps. In fact it stops it in its tracks and is a little bit funny at the same time. Mean. But funny.
Expect to watch your body and bodily fluids with frenzied fascination. Expect to get very familiar with yourself. Your cycles. You will feel every twinge and twitch. And sometimes, expect your body to lie or at very least trick you because you are trying too hard to play doctor. Mostly, I think, because you are looking to hard.
One of the hardest weeks for me in the whole process {other than the miscarriage, obviously} was when I had pregnancy symptoms. Big time. I couldn’t even touch my boobs. My sense of smell was mad. And then, I WAS LATE. I choked up with excitement. I pictured surprising Hubby with a positive test. And after four negative tests over two weeks, I finally accepted that I wasn’t pregnant.
Expect to want to talk about it all the time and expect other people not to want too. I find even the best of my people just want to pep me up. Say things along the lines of you’ll be next, soon it will be your time… I love them for this but really, how many next times can there be. Expect to be optimistic but not at the same time.
Expect to write long rambling posts if you have a blog or get a blog if you don’t.
Suger 
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