50 things a {maybe even your} residential property manager now knows, wants you to know or has surmised…
- Rent does not pay itself.
- A good diary system is the only way to get a good night sleep.
- People who grow weed in the ceiling often fall through that same ceiling and deny all knowledge.
- Gas hot water systems need gas to work {and no, I will not be sending a plumber out to check the system again}.
- One person’s version of clean may be different to your own.
- Children hanging off a veranda when you first arrive is never a good sign for rental potential.
- Good things come to those who wait and pushy people go to the bottom of the pile.
- Not doing what you know to do is never a good idea and it always turns to poop.
- xxx_yourstrippername_xxx@freeemail.com is not a good look on any application form.
- What goes up doesn’t always come down without a broom or extendible pole… like sticky balls on the ceiling for example.
- A small hairline crack in a toilet bowl is not a national emergency after all the chances of it breaking while you sitting on it are slim to none.
- Genuine outside dogs never make a bolt to get into the house when you open the front door. Never, ever, ever, never, ever. And yes, we know that means they are inside all the time. Please don’t lie to us.
- Towel rails sometimes do actually fall off walls on their own…
- And sometimes they get a little helping hand…
- The retained key is not your I’m out late on a Saturday and left my key inside back up plan.
- Children don’t always want baths and are made to take them. It’s adults who don’t always take them.
- You shouldn’t judge people but sometimes you just have to go with your gut.
- Angry people have this particular look in their eye, it’s very specific… Around here it is called crazy eyes.
- Some people do change. Most don’t. But you have to remember that some do.
- Buying an investment property does not make you smarter, nicer, more charming or increase your common sense not matter how much you hope it does.
- The emergency after hours number is not to discuss your next lease at 9pm on a Friday.
- Shared living with two families in the one house almost never works. You’ve heard it jealousy is a curse!
- Lollipops can be just as effective on a 21 year old as they are on a 5 year old.
- Cheaters, never prosper, especially when they cheat with the neighbour two houses down.
- Most owners are looking for a couple of no pet owning, expansive income having, house and garden proud elderly people to live in their spacious family home…
- … Most no pet owning, expansive income having, house and garden proud elderly people want a low set unit.
- The busiest time of year for moving, new leases and sign ups is the Christmas/New Year period and the weeks either side.
- Thomas the Tank Engine blue is not a neutral paint colour.
- Landlords insurance will cover you right down to someone killing all your plants, yet most owners would rather save themselves the tax deductible $300 bucks and complain that property investing is risky.
- One dog on an application could mean anywhere between ONE and TEN…
- … And that dog could also mean horse.
- You never can tell a book by it’s cover.
- Removing the curtains to wash them, hanging them on the line and leaving them there does not count as cleaning the curtains.
- People hate forms and will do almost anything to avoid filling one out.
- The chances are if someone has to move out now there is a good reason why the current owner/agent is not giving them any more time. And you, are more than likely, picking up someone else’s problem child. Rushed never works.
- It takes six large plastic storage containers to store the paperwork involved in 12 months of trust account reporting. So no, stealing trust funds and heading to the casino for the weekend jokes are not funny.
- Never believe someone who says “What, my rent is behind..? Oh gosh. Wow. I didn’t realise, I’ll fix that right up”.
- Yes, I’m sorry, we are laughing at you.
- Mothers love their children always to some degree, no exception. But sometimes they aren’t the best person to raise their children.
- People prefer their call returned within 2 hours. Any longer and it challenges the view that they are centre of the universe.
- Profiling is alive and fully operational in suburban areas, just ask a reference checker
- High heels are wonderful and stylish and sexy and fun but not if you are in them upright for 9 hours in paddocks and muddy terrain.
- Manilla folders make the world go around.
- Decaf is caffeine’s ugly, useless, bad tasting {mostly}sister.
- Paper really can take on the odour of the places it’s been.
- Laughter can get you through almost anything.
- People will do almost anything to prove they are right. In fact they will take you to court, file the $55 fee, take half a day off work to fight a $100 claim.
- Plastic floral arrangements can entertain a child for hours.
- Keys are tricky items to keep track of and they will always be missing when you need them.
- People will always surprise you & that is a good thing.
so there you go. Feel a little better informed about the whole thing now? I bet’cha do! This list should not in anyway reflect upon my employer or their business. I am the mad one with stuff to say. Not them.
Blog This has issued the challenge. Do you accept? If you do pop over to www.blogthis.com.au and get the de’structions on what you have to do. I hear whispers that this time. There will be prizes. And hopefully just a little more fan fare than previous winners. Oh well. We’ll see.
Suger 
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