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Vulnerable side week for the Aussie Curves ladies has a lot of people discussing their bodies, what makes them feel vulnerable in regards to the clothes they wear and how people respond to their bodies. If there was ever a week where you were going to visit them all, this would be it. The ones I have read are full of honesty, personal truth and support from a community of women who are determined to change the way women view, talk about and respond to their bodies.

For me, I considered what makes me feel vulnerable for a long time. I talked last week about the vulnerability that I feel online due to the objectification of women. I have my own set of rules to keep myself safe and my private life private. So how will I show you me, being vulnerable without breaking my word to myself, going over old ground or being too flippant when the ladies have taken the theme so seriously? How indeed.

Then it came to me. I would look up the meaning of vulnerable and go from there with the first thing that came to mind. Exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally. I almost laughed. Out loud. At work. Exposed to the possibility of being attacked is the life of a blogger once your photos hit the interwebs and fly off into the far corners. I hate to be cynical about it but it is. You can either be okay with the judgements placed on you by complete strangers or not.

Daily, I chose to be okay. But it really is a daily occurrence. Sometimes I think, what the heck am I doing this for? Why do I continue to put myself out there, open and exposed to the possibility of harm because that judgement still in a small way hurts. The most recent was a Lithuanian forum discussing my hit and miss style often associated with the selection of striped or form fitting clothing and including how much they hated my wedding dress and my hair. Damn you google translate, I could have easily avoided EVER knowing this conversation without you.

I felt a little sick, to be honest. My first instinct was to remove my gallery {the link had been shared} and pull down any outfit they didn’t like. To hide my wedding photos in particular as I am madly proud of my wedding. Protective in fact. I wanted them to stop talking about me as if I didn’t exist somewhere and could be reading. I wanted it to end. There was nothing I could do though, I was exposed. Vulnerable. Open to emotional attack.

It took me almost a day of clicking on that darn backlink to realise that I’m not ashamed of the outfit choices I’ve made. They won’t be everyone’s cup of tea but that’s okay. It took me about the same amount of time to realise that removing my gallery wouldn’t stop the judgement. Nor would hiding my wedding photos. Nothing would stop a conversation about me, in a foreign country, in a language I don’t speak. There was nothing for me to do but be okay with being vulnerable or not.

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I am strong. Tough. Direct. Confident. I’d never willingly find myself in a place where I feel vulnerable but every day, there I am. In my relationship because love is the biggest exposure to possible threat. In my work and on this blog. I am vulnerable because causing something to be different, making a change requires you to be exposed. That’s the way a difference gets made.

So I choose to be vulnerable. In stripes. 

But no one will make me question myself for long and lord help those who chose to inflict that emotional or physical attack or harm… I will find you and make you pay {Okay, so not really but I’ve thought about it.}. I may be vulnerable but I certainly am not weak and I will not sit down in my place so you can do as you please. For me the two can live together, strength and vulnerability, and I am a better person because I’m okay with being both. I know my fellow Aussie Curves ladies are too, with their hearts on their blogs and their love on the pages. Well done team. I’m proud of us.

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Dress – 17 Sundays
Vest – 17 Sundays {gifted}
Booties – Bare Foot Tess

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