How are you feeling today?
No, I’m asking.
Take a moment before you answer.
HOW ARE YOU FEELING?
Are you feeling moderately confident or not at all? Wondering why you clicked over here when you feel like you could never, ever have more confidence than you have now? Or maybe you were here and didn’t realise this was happening!? Well, surprise! go with it, okay? Do you have other things on your mind that make you sad, angry or deliriously happy? Whatever it is, be with that for a minute. Good, bad, the ugly. It’s ok to feel however you feel. It’s all ok. It is just what it is. I said so. Some intelligent, learned people said so too. So trust me on that one.
The first time someone told me it was ok to feel like I was, ok to be where I was, ok to have what I have, I burst into tears. I sat there and sobbed my little heart out. I thought, oh my goodness, it is. If a friend told me that they were struggling with something, felt they were going nowhere or were unworthy, I would tell them it would pass. I would hug them, smother them in kind words and ask them to keep going.
And yet, I would never have thought to do the same for myself.
No, it was all put-downs, harsh words and ultimatums for me. It was doing it or else. It was crime and punishment, success or failure. Being ok with how you feel is the first step to being confident. Being kind to yourself is essential. And it’s a practice. A habit you form, which is why it’s the first cab off the rank. This one may take you to the end of this series and beyond to nail down. So don’t get frustrated with yourself. Hang tough, like the eighties cat poster cat.
Today’s challenge is easy peasy. We’re breaking you in quickly. Find a place somewhere you see every day and post a reminder to be kind to yourself. It can be a sign, a collage; you might even want to write on your mirror in whiteboard pen {it works, it’s fantastic, my favourite thing}. You can pinch the post image if you want to; I’m happy to share. Just do something. Because today you are changing how you talk to yourself.
Daily challenge – Be kind to yourself.
Hi! I’m Melissa Walker Horn. Around here, they call me Suger. I’m the Chief Blogger and doer of all the things here at Suger Coat It. Blogging since 1901; I love a casual ootd, taking photos, and writing about things that irk or inspire me. I love wine and cheese, long days at the beach and spending time with my family. I make stuff for the internet over at Chalkboard Digital. You know, living the sweet life.
Found you via that crazy cat lady… I MUST be kinder to myself more often. I’m pretty much non-depressed after being crook for years, but I still have harsh thoughts. Any strategy to make me positive about me is worth trying. Thank you 🙂
Oooo, which ONE!? Which cat lady?
You’re welcome. Find a way to remind yourself, laugh at the cruel thoughts {don’t give them the satisfaction} and just be kind to yourself in general. It’s a heck of a good time. Haha.
I cannot wait to get my printer unpacked so I can put something together for this. I know exactly what I want to do too.
I can’t WAIT to see it. You moved? I hate moving. Yuck.
Yeah we didn’t move far, but there was a lot of work to be done so we could move into this place, and we still have a lot to work on now we’re in. Right now it feels hard.
Yeah we didn’t move far, but there was a lot of work to be done so we could move into this place, and we still have a lot to work on now we’re in. Right now it feels hard.
It doesn’t matter how far you move, it still all has to be packed, unpacked and there’s all that cleaning to do. YUCK. Good luck getting through it.
How bad is it that I’m still not unpacked and sorted. I have one room to be sorted, the wii is still in it’s box much to the kids dismay, the garddens out the back need to be done and the yard tidied up. Oh and the hallway. Don’t get me started. (Lacking paint STILL, OY!)
Yeah we didn’t move far, but there was a lot of work to be done so we could move into this place, and we still have a lot to work on now we’re in. Right now it feels hard.
This is a challenge I have set myself for the last 2 years. You’re so right it’s a process, it’s a challenge and sometimes it feels like a real task – when you’re used to treating yourself badly, it’s easier to do than being kind to yourself. Yet despite the long process I am determined to keep going. More and more I am trying to treat myself as I would treat my friends and it’s actually a really great way to “train” yourself to be kind to you!
Such a process. You have to be stubborn with yourself. Respond like you would if someone spoke to you like that. Pull yourself up and put a stop to it as soon as you become aware of it happening. You can do this, you’re SO worth it.
I love this challenge. I just posted my first day! I would love if you made this a linky so I could read everyone’s posts!
http://www.accidentallybeautiful.com/2012/11/day-1-be-kind-confidentyou-challenge.html
Thank you Rhonda. Glad you enjoyed Day 1. Hope you’re feeling better today too.
I’ll look into making it a linky if more people add their blog links, I just didn’t want people to feel like they HAVE to blog about it because they read it, you know? No pressure, share your link if you want to and we’ll check it out. 🙂
I’m feeling blah today but I’ve learnt that’s ok sometimes. Whenever someone talks to me I just want to raise and eyebrow and say “Bitch Nah”. Tomorrow will be brighter. Tomorrow I’ll leave a better comment 🙂 GO YOU GOOD THING
Haha. I read this comment out to Matt tonight and he was like ‘you aren’t taking credited for that, are you? Not aaaaalll the credit?’. I think he was worried I’d stolen his thunder. 😉
Tomorrow will be, and next Thursday will be even better than THAT. Thanks D. xo
How am I feeling? Pretty damn good. As I often do.
I think this is a wonderful thing you’re doing to help people grow in confidence. learn to treat themselves kindly, realise that it’s okay to make mistakes sometimes, it isn’t the end of the world, learning to accept that sometimes the best you can do has to be enough.
Great news River. Go you! Thank you.
Thank you for this
You’re so welcome. 🙂
Hey Love, I am totally onboard here. My confidence is at an all time low… I wanna learn to be a bad ass like you 🙂
I’m really sorry to hear that. I adore you and always assumed you felt the same way about you. Let’s do this thing. But here’s the thing, you already are a bad ass in my books.
What a wonderful place to start! What you say is true. I am so kind to others and very hard on myself. I am also a perfectionist which means I expect alot of myself…often too much. I will take the challenge today and will post a photograph when I do. Thinking…thinking…thinking… ! lol xo
Thank you Min. It’s so true for a lot of us. Funny how when it comes down to it, human beings perform in much the same way. Good luck with your challenge. I can’t wait to see the pic.
Melissa…this could be the best post I have EVER READ. I just love where you are taking your blog and all of us readers this month. Well done you. Xx
Wow! Thanks.
Just found you via Nikki @ Styling You’s share on Facebook. So ridiculously serendipitous.
You’re so right – if we listened to the advice we give our loved ones we’d be so much better off.
Thank you
Hi Catherine, welcome on board. There is nothing I love better than a dash of serendipity on a Thursday morning.
I’m glad you enjoyed the post.
You’re so welcome.
Way to go Hun. Although I feel as though I have good confidence I know one thing I’m guilty of, is holding myself to higher standards then what I expect of others. That can put a lot pressure on myself if I’m not on top of my game.
I think this series will be of gret benefit even to those who feel they are pretty confident, it will be a maintance program.
Absolutely, it can be the biggest pitfall no matter how confident you feel. Pressure to perform really doesn’t work well for that many people. And almost nobody after a period of time. Give yourself a break, I would.
Thank you. I hope so. I hope it’s valuable for people no matter where they are at. Welcome to the maintenance program T. xo
And we’re off and growing confidence 😉 Lovely first post! xx
And we’re off and running. Thank you!
Great post, thank you, funny how it’s easy to be kind to others but hard to be kind to ourselves, looking forward to the confident me journey 🙂
Thank you. It is, we are often our own worst critic. Enjoy the posts. xo