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There’s a post here. One I’ve been hiding. Until now.

A post that says how all my tests have come back fine. Normal. No issue. All clear. Normal, normal, normal. Nothing to see here people. This girl is completely normal. It’s hard to grasp. As we head towards two years ttc. After that, they’ll call us Long Term Trying to Conceive. Long term. Or the start of it anyway, is the last place I thought I’d be.  
The only thing left is that I am fat*. 
So now the focus is on that. I plan to remove the only barrier they say I have left. And then I’ll see. Then we’ll see where to go from here. My new Dr claims to have heard of some research tying early stage miscarriage and long term ttc to obesity. I’d like to read those. She couldn’t back it up with links. I’ve asked her to find it. 
I’m curious. 
Because for me. Doing this thing, having a child. That would be normal. And no matter how many tests I take until I can have that. I won’t feel normal. Not that I have ever really felt normal. Too tall. Too fat. Too impatient. Too driven. Too everything. 
Maybe I was never meant to be normal. 
*I am not saying that being overweight or obese will automatically impact on your ability to fall pregnant or not. I am just looking for myself. Exploring. Ruling out all possible things working against us. I do not mean to continue any sort of social stigma or sterotype by writing this. Each women, no matter her size should be appropriately tested to ascertain the reasons behind HER infertility not just fobbed off because of her weight.  

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10 responses to “There’s a post here. One I’ve been hiding. Until now.”

  1. Kell Avatar
    Kell

    I love you lots Mel…..thinking of you guys heaps. You know where I am if you ever need anything xoxox

    Reply
  2. Torkona Avatar
    Torkona

    Let me give you advice that I wish I was given. Never give up.From the most idle of moments comes what you've been waiting for.Let me give you more advice, and I know it would be hard to take.Relax. Relaxation and being happy is how you get pregnant.It's the hardest thing in the world and I've been there. All the best..

    Reply
  3. River Avatar
    River

    I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.

    Reply
  4. Lucy Avatar
    Lucy

    You are normal and you will be normal and you will feel normal.Mel, having walked this path, this exact same path, I am thiking that a change in diet may help. If you are both "normal" ie nothing wrong, it may be a simple as a PH adjustment required. Via diet.Email me, if you need to?xxx

    Reply
  5. Posie Patchwork Avatar
    Posie Patchwork

    Oh i've just found you, hello & wow, a powerful post. I wish you well on your family journey, if only babies came so easily to those who so desperately want them & would be the most fantastic mothers!! Love Posie

    Reply
  6. Rosie Avatar
    Rosie

    As a once long term trying to conceiver all I can offer you is hope. It can and does happen but the wait is torturous. I know of nothing harder. The sense of failure…If you haven't already, try coQ10, I think it really helped(out of the 47 million other things I tried), and a good acupuncturist. I remember all too well searching for reasons.All the best for the difficult but worth it journey. I will be pulling for you.

    Reply
  7. Sarah Avatar
    Sarah

    I know weight played a roll in my infertility. I was not completely infertile though. Basically I'd stopped ovulating/producing eggs, still had normal periods. My doc said this was due to the fact that in females almost every kilo over 100 turns to what they call Male fat, so your body starts to produce more male hormone, thus affecting the ovulation. So I did what you are doing and I set about loosing weight. We had been ttc for 5 years, and after loosing 10kgs we were preggy. Just a lil bit of inspiration for you hun. But don't strive to be normal, normal is far too borning and you are anything but boring xox

    Reply
  8. Miss Ruby Avatar
    Miss Ruby

    i'm sorry but…"Relaxation and being happy is how you get pregnant."really?someone actually came out with this on a post about ttc?!?as a friend once said to someone who said it to her "so me RELAXING is going to make my husbands sperm gain motility?" – the "just relax and it will happen" line is great in theory, usually useless in practice.i'm sorry that you're "normal" Mel – i know that sounds ridiculous but when you're ttc and not achieving it, i know how much an actual diagnosis helps, it helps you understand why things aren't happening, ok something's not working but when you have a diagnosis at least you actually KNOW what isn't working. when you don't have any answers and none are forthcoming it makes the trying and failing month after month all that much harder to handle.i'm glad there are people here who can give you hope for the future and your dreams of motherhood – unfortunately as you know, i cannot. i've gotten pregnant and lost babies when i've been thin, fat, sad, HAPPY and yes even RELAXED it didn't make any difference i still lost them.and you're right, each woman should be tested to ascertain her fertility issues, unfortunately ALOT of dr's do just like to blame weight if a woman is overweight.you know how much i want this dream of becoming a parent to come true for you and hope that whatever steps you choose to take in order to help that happen work for you.much love~x~

    Reply
  9. MultipleMum Avatar
    MultipleMum

    Normal is good. You will get there. There are ways and means and you will get there. Still sending you fertility vibes through the internet. Hoping they help x

    Reply
  10. Kellyansapansa Avatar
    Kellyansapansa

    Big hugs Melissa. I can't pretend to understand what you're going through, but I do wish you all the very best for achieving your heart's desire.

    Reply

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