I am sitting here in my empty house. I enjoy the quiet. I adore being on my own. I think, I read, I ponder, I cook, I sort out the clutter and de’feral the house. Bit by bit I am restored. I find that I am better with people when I have been by myself. Quieter. More centered. More me.
And in my job, that’s a good thing. A bloody great thing actually.
But in life, the thing that is my favourite, are those nights with friends chatting and laughing {and often wine and cheese’ing}. Hubby counts too. I enjoy conversation. Interaction. The way we get to share our lives with people. Some of my best friends I have known most of my life. There is an ease in that.
My heart goes out to people that are isolated or feel cut off from family and friends. For me they are such a touchstone for who I am. I can think whatever I want about myself but until it exists out there with someone else it’s not real. Does that make sense? Let me explain…
There was a time about 5 years ago when I thought I was easy going. Really laid back. I would describe myself as easy going, if asked. I was certain of it. One day, as I said it, my mother screwed up her nose a little. What? I said. What’s the matter? Well, I wouldn’t exactly describe you as easy going… You’re pretty tightly wound. WHAT! I said. You are way off.
And so I asked everyone. And nobody experienced me as easy going. Most had some version of wound up. And I got that day that even though I would have LOVED to be easy going, I wasn’t. Yes, I could be if I wanted to be. If I made an effort to un-wind myself. But right now, I wasn’t.
And I would never have known that until I saw myself reflected in someone {lots of someones} else’s view.
Now be careful, I’m not saying that I am whatever people say I am. I have been called things I am not. I mean the conversations with people who love and cherish you that will tell you the truth about you, as you occur to them. So you have the opportunity in this life to grow and develop.
And that’s my favourite part. {That and the wine and cheese’ing}
Suger 
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