This is me. Obviously. With make up (I am genuinely sorry to have missed that Blog revolution, I am) and a tinsey, tiny bit of picnik’ing. And this me that I speak of is frustrating the hell out of myself. I am annoyed at me. I feel a little sorry for me. I want to slap me. Sometimes. Not all the time, but sometimes. And do you know what? I want to know where exactly this came from. At what stage during my twenty *cough* seven years did I turn into such a mopey, dopey cow. And mean. Phew, I am mean.
And no. This isn’t a self bash. I have a point. I think.
When did this great life that I have built up for myself become something I could take for granted, whinge about and even discount. My husband, my family, my career, my passions, my accomplishments. But I do. And I top it all off by adding a little frustration, a dash of annoyance and let’s face it, sometimes a heavy helping of bored out of my brain. But seriously what right do I have to bitch and whinge and sook. None really.
I am healthy. Fat. But healthy. I am loved. Wholly, solely and widely. I am employed, entertained and befriended. I am lucky, in general. And yet I sigh at the blandness of it all. Sometimes. I wonder about those people with dramatic, high flying lives. I want to beeee them. I want the clothes, the shoes, the money, the 2.5 children, the life’s passion expressed, the glitz, the glamour. I want there to be a point.
So I have been thinking about this current onset of green eyed envy and I think maybe I need a new challenge. Direction. Something to really sink my teeth into. And if the powers that be don’t see fit to have that be a child (well firstly, boo hiss to them, up your ass) then I will make other plans. Don’t they always say that life is what happens when you are busy making plans. Well. That is what I want.
So what do you think? This definitely feeeels like one of those desperate house wife type moments. No, not the show, the original concept thing. Like it is time to shift something or be shifted. To do something or be done. To gather arms… Whoah, wait on. Hold on there. Let’s just say take action.
But on what!? Seriously. I am stumped. Would you like to join me on my path to finding something more interesting to do with my life. A bigger expression of who I am. Please say you would. I would really appreciate it. Here’s some ideas I had, which of course, I would continue to blog about because let’s face it, you couldn’t shut me up if you tried;
- Bucket list type thing
- Write a book
- Start a internet business
- Finally get fit in a Diminishing Lucy type 20/20/20 thing
- Blog my way through the entire Julia Childs’ French cookbook all the while learning about myself and life and love and joy… Oh wait. That’s soooo been done somewhere before.
And for now… It’s back to the drawing board.
Help!?
Suger 
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