There are times when life is all sunshine and roses, and it’s pretty easy to be confident when that’s the case. Confident that life is good, and you are worthy of great things. Then sometimes life is a little bit poo. Circumstances or whatever conspire to have you feeling worthless. So what do you do when life knocks you flat on your butt, and it’s time to get up?
How the heck should I know?
I mostly wallow in the corner and cry. I’m really proactive like that. Ha!
But after the wallowing is done.
After the cursing, the universe is done.
After the woe is me part is over.
I get up.
One day you’ll feel a little better. I hope it comes sooner rather than later for you. A big part of it is allowing yourself to feel bad, cry, and face the facts called ‘life sucks right now’. I know that the longer I tough it out, the longer I’m slumped in that ball on the floor for. Face facts, you got ripped off when you’re done, moving on.
Learn something. Maybe you think there’s nothing for you to take away from this little experience, but there will be. Maybe it’s just your time to learn that life doesn’t always go how you planned it. Take a closer look. You’ll find something, a little sliver sometimes, but there will be something to learn.
Use something to learn as your light at the end of the tunnel. When I can pinpoint my lesson learned {save more money, trust my gut, take more care next time} I begin to feel a little better. Stronger, like I’ve survived my version of the hero’s journey or something. Like I’m about the win the girl and ride off into the sunset.
Then get moving.
Exercise fanatics have been saying this for years, and it’s true. Get moving. Preparing to go somewhere, even walking around the block, will get you out and about and feeling better. Stop just going through the motions. Enjoy yourself. Smell some roses and attempt cartwheels with cushy grass to break your fall. Life: Get into it. Ha.
Phone a friend. I don’t know about you guys, but I become a hermit when I feel terrible about myself or my life. Even my online presence dwindles. After all, what’s there to share with someone when all you have left is blaaaaah: boohoo and blah. I always say that there’s nothing to fear for the person who is putting voice to their concerns and demons. That person is somehow already safe.
It’s the quiet ones you have to watch.
Find a friend, a family member or coworker and talk about stuff. Life, people, the weather, I don’t care. Get those communication muscles working and share about what’s going on for you. Maybe not the whole heaping pile of it. Make sure you’re communicating not whingeing for an audience. Ask how the other person is, what they’ve been up to. Learn to find your sparkle again.
And then if all else fails, go back to step one. Clearly, you were not done wallowing. Go on; we’ll wait here. Wallow away. Whinge that life isn’t fair, people have it easier/better than you. Get it all out of your system and start over. And rinse, lather and repeat. You will feel better, you will get up again, and you will show life who is the boss. One day. It’s okay if today isn’t that day.
Remember, we all end up on our butts at some point; you’re actually not that special. Sorry!
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Disclaimer people: clearly, there is a difference between being knocked down by the rough and tumble of life and things like depression and anxiety. If you need to speak with someone, do. If you don’t want to and life isn’t getting better for you, PLEASE DO. Take care of yourself and get the help you need. And please don’t use this as evidence that people are better at life than you, it’s not that. You’re doing great.
Hi! I’m Melissa Walker Horn. Around here, they call me Suger. I’m the Chief Blogger and doer of all the things here at Suger Coat It. Blogging since 1901; I love a casual ootd, taking photos, and writing about things that irk or inspire me. I love wine and cheese, long days at the beach and spending time with my family. I make stuff for the internet over at Chalkboard Digital. You know, living the sweet life.
I have been learning more and more that life is more about my reaction than things happening. I can’t always control what happens, but I can control how I react and what I do next.
I try not to wallow too much, people do have it worse, so I let myself feel what I need to for as short a time as possible and I move on, because holding on to that? It doesn’t help me.
There are plenty of lessons to learn with this sort of stuff. The learning to allow yourself to be sad, to wallow and to rant a little. The learning that it can’t go on for too long. The learning how to get up and move on. To view it differently. To learn and grow. To stay happy… LOTS to learn.
If worst comes to worst for you, you just have to remember that I think you’re amazing, one of the goodest good eggs and rainbows will probably fall from the sky and all that. Haha
Life is 20% what is dealt to you and 80% on how you you deal with with.
Absolutely right Coach!
Last February I lost my job. It was a great job and I had high hopes on it. Everybody told me to start looking for another one right away, but I couldn´t. I needed time to process and cry and wallow. It took me almost a month to be able to get up and get moving again. I think you describe exactly the times you have to give yourself to get through these experiences. Thanks for putting it into words, it helps to know we all go through that sometimes.
I took 6 months off after my last full time job came to an end. Mutually, I think, I never could work that one out. And I did a lot of wandering and crying. Like a relationship, you have to have time to grieve when it’s over or you’ll make the same mistakes next time. Thanks for sharing this. 🙂
Hi .I totally agree with you,that life sometimes has its way of bursting our bubble,so to speak, but thats life we just have to deal with it and pray that sooner or later you’ll get out of it not unscath but definitely ready to take on another challenge…
It absolutely does. Great!
I just logged onto my computer feeling exactly this. I have lots to do on top of the stuff that is optional (you know the stuff I would just like to achieve). It feels like nobody really gets how I am feeling and can’t understand why things get me down at times. A co-worker told me the other day I had no excuse as to why I could’t get to the gym before I go to work every morning at 7am. It has played on my mind a lot. Ideally I would love to. I do have an excuse though there are three actually and I love them dearly and cannot leave them at that time of the morning as it is so busy and too much for Hubby to deal with alone. I feel cranky that I am sometimes surrounded by people who are so caught up in themselves to see how things truely are with others. I rarely have time for myself or for stuff I would like to do. But that is only right now, things will change in time I know. I will move back to positivity again soon ..it just sucks in the meantime. Thank you for your post. Feel like you saw my sour face today 😉
Hang in there lady. Glad this appeared when you needed it. 🙂