This is my thirtieth year on this planet. I think that’s the way it works, I’ve never been that good at math type things. But this March I turn 30. THIRTY. What an amazing, wonderful, ridiculous thing. I am so grateful to get the chance. You know, fingers crossed. It has me all sorts of excited with a side order of reflective. When I was 16 I had big ideas about what my life would look like by the time thirty dawned. My 16-year-old self saw a life free of husband types, free of fixed addresses with only stamps in my passport to account for the years of my life passed. She had plans for world domination in business, real estate, whatever.
My 16-year-old self wanted to BE something. Someone, perhaps?
There’s a lot to be said for drive and ambition I’m just not sure what it is because I don’t have much of it these days. This blog and what it contains is about as ambitious as I get. And that makes me wonder how my 16-year-old self would feel about things as they are for me right now. Would she be disappointed or happy that life worked out, no matter what? I like to think she’d be okay with not owning the world. And who cares right? What does a 16-year-old know anyway? That girl was still eating a Freddo frog and calling it lunch.
Poor kid, she was a little bit lost. But you know what, whatever it took to bring her to me here is okay with me. Here to this place where I get to tell women of all ages that they are okay just as they are. Here, where I feel the most at home in my life and in my body as I have ever. Like, ever {thanks, Taylor}. It makes me smile every day that I get the chance to do what I do. Share my life with the man I do, with my family nearby and with the promises of things to come. I think about it a lot while I’m at the gym, I think about the things I’ve done, places I’ve been and all the things I haven’t experienced. I think of the girl I was and the woman I am.
I’m proud of both of them. Her and me.
Looking forward to the next thirty years I hope for what the future holds. You know my hopes better than most. There’s this space here where I get to be really honest about my wishes. I want a family of my own. For my husband and I to continue to grow together, maybe even one day ending up healthy, wealthy and wise together. I wish good health and above average biceps. I hope for things that challenge me enough to know I’m living, for lots of sweet happy times and for there to be love. And so, the countdown begins. 30, here I come.
Are you thirty? Have you been? What’s it like?
