This is my thirtieth year on this planet. I think that’s the way it works, I’ve never been that good at math type things. But this March I turn 30. THIRTY. What an amazing, wonderful, ridiculous thing. I am so grateful to get the chance. You know, fingers crossed. It has me all sorts of excited with a side order of reflective. When I was 16 I had big ideas about what my life would look like by the time thirty dawned. My 16-year-old self saw a life free of husband types, free of fixed addresses with only stamps in my passport to account for the years of my life passed. She had plans for world domination in business, real estate, whatever.
My 16-year-old self wanted to BE something. Someone, perhaps?
There’s a lot to be said for drive and ambition I’m just not sure what it is because I don’t have much of it these days. This blog and what it contains is about as ambitious as I get. And that makes me wonder how my 16-year-old self would feel about things as they are for me right now. Would she be disappointed or happy that life worked out, no matter what? I like to think she’d be okay with not owning the world. And who cares right? What does a 16-year-old know anyway? That girl was still eating a Freddo frog and calling it lunch.
Poor kid, she was a little bit lost. But you know what, whatever it took to bring her to me here is okay with me. Here to this place where I get to tell women of all ages that they are okay just as they are. Here, where I feel the most at home in my life and in my body as I have ever. Like, ever {thanks, Taylor}. It makes me smile every day that I get the chance to do what I do. Share my life with the man I do, with my family nearby and with the promises of things to come. I think about it a lot while I’m at the gym, I think about the things I’ve done, places I’ve been and all the things I haven’t experienced. I think of the girl I was and the woman I am.
I’m proud of both of them. Her and me.
Looking forward to the next thirty years I hope for what the future holds. You know my hopes better than most. There’s this space here where I get to be really honest about my wishes. I want a family of my own. For my husband and I to continue to grow together, maybe even one day ending up healthy, wealthy and wise together. I wish good health and above average biceps. I hope for things that challenge me enough to know I’m living, for lots of sweet happy times and for there to be love. And so, the countdown begins. 30, here I come.
Are you thirty? Have you been? What’s it like?
Hi! I’m Melissa Walker Horn. Around here, they call me Suger. I’m the Chief Blogger and doer of all the things here at Suger Coat It. Blogging since 1901; I love a casual ootd, taking photos, and writing about things that irk or inspire me. I love wine and cheese, long days at the beach and spending time with my family. I make stuff for the internet over at Chalkboard Digital. You know, living the sweet life.
My life now at the wrong side of thirty, is nothing like I had planed when I was younger. I have a totally different career, a husband and a tribe of kids all things I had never planned but I am so happy, plans are made to be changed. You are incredible and I am so glad to know you Looking forward to celebrating you turning dirty thirty xx
Best laid plans of mice and men and all that. Haha. Looking forward to it is an understatement. I’m ready to paaaarty. 😉
I would love to say that turning thirty didn’t bother me… but it kinda did. I try not to lmaent missed opportunities and bad choices, but milestone birthdays do make me go, ‘Huh. Think of all the time i wasted, the person I could be right now…..’ All that unhelphul head stuff!!
But now, I’m on the downhill run to forty!! And holy shit, I am gonna try and love it and love being a really truly grown up!!
Unhelpful indeed. But it is what it is. And you can’t regret lamenting any more than you can regret the lamenting itself. I bet you are going to power through 40, you legend you, just as soon as you forget this whole being a grown up thing. 😉
I was 30 once!,
The world was a great place! the automobile (horseless carriage ) had just been invented, our neighbors up the road had just got electricity, and Mr Harpers General Store had started selling bull eyes (sweets).
I remembered longing for the day when I could have a go on one of those new fangled tele-phone thingys, hopefully by the time I turned 31! I remember thinking to myself…. Yes life was good at 30 😉
Baaahaha. You ARE kidding right? Or not. GOSH, how old ARE you? 😛
lol, like ever….. lovely post Suger…. my 16 year old self was such a shy sweetheart who probably only wished for things deep inside her heart…. in many ways I’m still the same girl…only different.
Haha. Thank you Mele. I love that. My experience of you, you are that girl but different. 🙂
I freaked out completely and had a massive existential crisis then did waaaaay too many face peels and dropped a dress size from anxiety. Then I realized this is what I do every birthday and just got more serious about goals. And had like 5 sandwiches.
Oh I adore you. So much. I remember talking to you over dinner {and copious wine} about turning 27, and my oh my you were right. I don’t feel a crisis coming on, but I wouldn’t mind a catch up. xo
I had no care in the world about turning 30. I was glad to say goodbye to my 20’s. I don’t have any hang up about getting older. In fact I think I get better with age. This year I turn 35, and I’m more alive, inspired and motivated than ever before. I think my 30’s so far have been about finally working out who I am and what I want I do. It’s a wonderful time in life once you hit your 30’s.
I feel very similar. Curious of what’s next, how I got here and all that, but very much like this. Life’s good, bring on the next round.
I remember feeling quite OK about turning 30… In fact I was quite glad to see the end of what had been a couple of turbulent years in my late 20’s and was hoping for a “clean slate” of sorts {unfortunately it doesn’t quite work that way, but the mental projection helps!}
I know when I was 16, I was sooooo ambitious, but I also thought I’d be a mum by 25 {it’s what my mum did, and I thought it was pretty cool}. I don’t have that same level of career ambition now {and I’m 31 and no children on the horizon}, but it’s just changed… I am more ambitious about the person I want to be, and my own self development as a person, rather than clocking up some career highlights {for the record, at 16 I was hell bent on being a psychologist with a private practice… whilst I’d still love to work for myself one day, I can’t see that actual picture coming to a reality}.
Maybe turning 30 has helped with that perspective, but I can’t think of anything that I really regret. I can laugh at lots of the decisions I made, or things I believed in, but it’s all brought me to where I am {and I can just SMELL awesome things on the horizon for 2013!!}. I guess the only thing I wish for, is that I acted more on my drive, especially when I see people in their 20’s who are so gung-ho, passionate, and inspiring to watch. I dreamed of being one of those people, but for whatever reason, fear held me back from acting.
You have every reason to be proud. You’ve achieved an awful lot before the age of 30… Perhaps in areas different to what you’d thought about, but they are achievements none the less. You have no reason for fear at all… But it is a great opportunity to look back, reflect and keep doing things to ensure you’re living your most awesome life 🙂
Thank you. Surprisingly, I have no fear nor concern, I feel very ready. Excited and just a little contemplative. I hear you loud and clear about the shift in ambition and drive. I’m not sure it ever disapears, it just gets displaced and moved aside for a moment.
my thirties have been more rewarding and exciting than my twenties. and i have already planned to be in NY for my 40th in a few years time…
OH COOL! Our 10th wedding anniversary is in two years, I hope to be in Vegas hamming it up at a wedding chapel somewhere then partying my butt off. You should totally come. 🙂
vegas is EPIC. loved it…
The 30’s are awesome!!!
I didn’t have an issue turning 30,no crisis or anything. The following year when my eldest turned 10, well that was different.
My 30’s have been fabulous. I learnt so much about myself and relationships when I was in my 20’s. Became very comfortable with myself. Learnt to accept myself, friends and family for their short comings too. And that we are all ok.
I’ve just turned 30 (in October) and am now looking towards my 40’s and wondering what season this will bring to my life.
Oooo exciting! I assume you mean you turned 39 and were having a little typo moment. I hope your 40’s bring you as much joy as your 30’s did! I certainly feel a lot of the same things you experienced. A whole heaping helping of zen. 😉
I’m turning 30 in October – also, my life is completely different to how I thought at 16 – but I wouldn’t trade it for anything, I’m super happy and I feel very lucky. Bring on the next 30 years I say!!
Same, same, same! 83, that’s a good batch. 😉
It didn’t phase me in the slightest when I turned 30, I thought it would but honestly? Nup not at all. This year, turning 34 though? Not looking forward to it at all. There’s something about being IN my MID thirties, I feel like I just haven’t achieved as much as “society” thinks I should have or perhaps it’s me that thinks that? I’m really not sure anymore.
I was told that I’d be more self assured in thirties, “they” promised me that and yet I’m not, in fact I’m probably less. “They” lied toooooooooooo meeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! LOL
You, however my lovely, will rock 30 xxx
I have no more words from ‘them’. There are none. I just hope 34 treats you better and you find your feet with this stuff, I really do. You my dear, are a woman of amazing influence, gorgeousness character and loyalty, the sooner you believe that, right down in your gut, the better. Truth.
They did, did they. Well, those fakes! Maybe you’re a late bloomer? Maybe it’s still coming. 😉
Your words made me cry – ya cow 😛
They also made me write a post that was very hard to write, damn you! 😛
But thank you for your lovely words – I just wish I could see the me that you do x
You’re so welcome. I can’t wait to read this post. xo
Oh babe 30 is the new 20, haha! I sometimes wonder what my 16 year old self would think if me today too. What with my high expectations of life back then and all! I too have lost my mojo about drive and ambition. Since having kids I’ve finally realised what everyone talks about is true, you become pretty invisible at work when you go back!! Particularly when it’s part time! I hope you are planning a great celebration, small or large.
This is what I hear! Woot. Can’t wait. I AM planning a party actually. I’m finalising some details and then I’ll make sure I tell you guys all about it!
Sorry to hear THAT, about work. That sucks actually.