So let’s talk about me. About weight loss. About getting healthy verses getting thinner. About progress or the lack of. I’m no longer getting smaller. I’m not getting bigger. But I’m not getting smaller either. I’m working out like a mad woman. In the gym I have found something I love. Nothing makes me smile bigger than completing a work out at the gym where I have pushed myself, gritted my teeth and won. There’s nothing I love more than being a victor. Of anything. Over anyone. I like to win but mostly I like to be in the game.
So why if my health just keeps getting better do I feel disappointed. I feel like I should be thinner by now. I wonder about the considering that happens to us when my primary goal is not really to be healthier, but to be skinnier. I say that because what else could my motivation be if there is ongoing progress in my health and fitness? Why is that? Is it just me doing that no patience thing again?
It’s been a while since I delved into these things. Dug around a little and tried to identify my motives. A reader said that she had lost 30kg and it only happened when her genuine motive was to be healthy. It made me question my motives if after almost 9 months of working out I have lost a total of 5kg. There’s a road block there people, don’t you think? A wall. Something I can see that is getting in my way of me having what I want.
And sure. It could be hormonal or dietary or maybe I’m just all muscle now and so I weigh heavier and one day soon the fat will melt away. Maybe it’s none of those things and I’ve just eaten too many chips in conjunction with all the whole food I eat. Drank too much booze. Slept too little and craved too much. Or maybe this is just a longer process than people let on. Maybe that’s an excuse.
Do you ever wonder for yourself what your health motivations are? Why are you exercising? Eating well? Is it for health or smaller jeans? Or are they the same goal for you? Do smaller jeans mean health for you. Or healthier than bigger anyway. Maybe, just maybe, I’ve answered my question for myself. I want to be healthier than I am. Smaller too. I want to be comfortable. I am proud. I am determined. I am easily swayed sometimes and stubborn at others. I am grateful for the love and support I receive. I want to trust myself more to move forward and not look back.
I want to run like the wind.
Hi! I’m Melissa Walker Horn. Around here, they call me Suger. I’m the Chief Blogger and doer of all the things here at Suger Coat It. Blogging since 1901; I love a casual ootd, taking photos, and writing about things that irk or inspire me. I love wine and cheese, long days at the beach and spending time with my family. I make stuff for the internet over at Chalkboard Digital. You know, living the sweet life.
Hmmm, I think everything has probably been covered already, but I’ll only say as a (relative) newbie to your site, I can see the HUGE difference in your pics compared to a couple you’ve posted recently from some time ago. Your whole body is changing gal, whether the scales show it or not!
I know I find it for me it also takes a while to show up in kg’s as well, but what I do notice when losing weight is how clothes fit me differently. I tend to use that as my gaugue nowdays, rather than the end goal (and not focusing on sizes, because we know how feakishly inconsistent they are!!).
Does your wardrobe look change on you? Has an “old favourite” suddenly become just waaay to big? Therein may be your answer lovely lady. All the very, very best!! x
Yes, I notice that when I take the time to look too. Thanks for mentioning it. Just last week I threw away a pair of black work pants that literally fell down when I sneezed AT WORK. So yes, safe to say that my clothes fit differently. Haha.
Thank you for the wishes!!
I have struggled with my weight all my life. Before I got married I worked hard to try to lose weight. Like you, I didn’t lose much in Kg’s but my fitness was amazing. I was able to jog 2 laps of a local park without stopping (approx 5km). Sadly I put back on what weight I lost and then some. I fell pregnant and put more on.
I am now starting on another weightloss journey. This time it is not just to be ‘skinny’. It is for my health. I developed a blood clot this year and it scared me. The specialist advised me that my weight was a factor for it developing. Even worse was the understanding that I have a strong family history of diabetes. Added to that the higher chance of developing another clot while I continue to be overweight. She pointed out that it was not about beauty, but about being there to watch my daughter grow up. And really? What better motivation is that?
I am feeling great, positive. I joined a Curves gym. I have made the switch to wholegrains. I eat salad everyday for lunch, snack on fruit etc. Most of all I feel like I am doing this for a reason better than just wanting to look a certain way. I want to be healthy, I want to live a long life. I want to have more children and watch them grow up.
Not focusing on a number or a size actually makes me feel more empowered. I am in this for the long haul.
Thank you for sharing your story lovely. Thank you. And yes, it IS empowering. Go you. Go us!
Hi Melissa,
I’ve just got off the phone to my sister talking exactly about this. I too have been working about for about 2 months now, quite regularly and lost only 3 kgs. I would consider myself to have a similar body type to you, tall and muscular. Although I feel I have become stronger and look smaller, the scales tell a different story.
I have put it down to the balance. I know I haven’t been eating right. I have been sugar free (sorta) for a while but my eating has been absolutely out of control. Eating too much and binging in junk.
At the moment, health is constantly on my mind, but so is weight loss. I try everyday to not overeat and eat what’s good for me. I’m slowly getting there. One thing I know is that it needs to come from a place of love and not shame.
All the best,
Erin
P.S Your blog has been a must read for me, come here daily.
Hey Erin, I had a similar thing. People assumed I was losing lots of weight but really I was creating lots of lean muscle to replace the fat. I think I’m having a similar issue in terms of food. Too much, too often and the wrong stuff because heck, why not! Haha. Good luck to you.
Thank you. That makes me really proud. 🙂
Hey lovely.
I am currently ploughing my way through a 35 kg slim down. I don’t want to be a
skinny Minnie. I want to be Healthy and Strong. Sounds like you too. Every
situation is different, but perhaps you should go see your doctor about your
healthy living/not losing weight issue? I have always struggled with my weight,
and about three months ago I finally went to the doctor. Turns out, after a few
blood tests, I have coeliac disease. Since adopting a new healthy lifestyle
(And joining WW and going to the gym a whole lot more) I am finally starting to
shift the weight. And I am not tired, lethargic and sluggish. My iron levels
have increased and my ‘puffiness’ in my face and belly is starting to go. I am
not saying that you have anything that I have or anything at all. But there may
be other things going on that might be the answer.
I know how frustrating it is.
Keep at it. I am rooting for you!
If you are interested I have started to track my journey on my blog –twentyfive-words.blogspot.com.au
J Tash
Thanks for this input. I might have a chat to my Dr about the blood tests I’ve had lately and see if they can tell me anything. Good luck with your 35kg. I’ve got about that to go. Eeeek.
I just read your new post and I was so worried you were referring to my comment about the doctors! I wasn’t suggesting that you should do anything. Please don’t think I was being negative or judgmental. I think you are simply ‘BOOTIFUL’ the way you are. X
Oh goodness no. I wrote that post before lunch time today after learning of my friend’s troll attack. Long before your comment which was more than fine. That’s a heck no! No way. Promise.
I hear you Suger and wholeheartedly relate. My number one suggestions is follow your intuition, it’s got me to where I am now, fat, happy, healthy for my age!
You’re so sensible, you know what’s good and bad, right or wrong, healthy or not, so trust yourself. Don’t do your head in, if you splurge follow it up with being strict. You’ve got the key when you say you want to trust yourself, that’s the solution Suger. YOU can do it … go on you’re fabulous, have faith in yourself ♥
Thank you Cherie. Much appreciated!! xox
I have to work out and eat well to feel good both physically and mentally. It’s my motivation. That’s what will get me out of bed in the morning because honestly at 5.30am I’d rather be fat.
HA. Cutting through the issue as always Smaggle. Yes to this. 100% yes. I’m mad when I skip the gym. Cookoo for cocoa pops.
You’ve gained so much from your gym work. Even if you haven’t ‘lost’ 🙂 My main motivation is stability. In eating and moving. I do know the frustration of a body that doesn’t get very much smaller, no matter what I do. Which is why I just can’t focus on that because it is detrimental to my health (mental) and stability. Too much weight yo-yoing in the past, disordered eating and whatever else, has done a job on my body and I just have to accept that. Sure doesn’t mean I always like it though!
You may stay this way or you may change. The future is unknown which is why it is so fantastic that you are focusing on now. Just doing what you can do and what you want to do.
I have, you are absolutely right. I’ve gained so, so much. I’ve done the years of disordered eating and crazy plans and suffered mentally too. I think that’s why I react so emotionally to food tracking or plans like that. I physically recoil from the order. It seems all too familiar. Thanks for your comment lovely, it was wonderful. xo
Hello gorgeous girl! Firstly, I am soooo proud of you and how much you’ve been working out. I love that you always look forward to working out now!
I’ve had a few chats to Deon about weight loss/toning up/fitness and he says ultimately it all comes down to diet, and the foods we eat in conjunction with working out. Maybe use something like the MyFitPal app or look at Michelle Bridges cookbook? It’s so hard isn’t it! Even though I’m strict with what I eat through the week I still give myself a treat and eat whatever I want on a Friday or Saturday night. Does that make sense at all? Keep it up beautiful, you’re doing an awesome job!
Hello beautiful. I miss my presentation Barbie now I’m home. Thank you. I absolutely do and it all started with you and your running. Thanks for the advice. I’ve seen some of those recipes come through Facebook. I think I might go and pick that up. It has to be food related as everything else is as good as it ever could be.
Presentation Barbie is firmly back in her box until the next ProBlogger (although she may come out for special teaching presentations :P). I was having a think too, and I’m only recommending this is purely because it works for me (disclaimer!) but what about adding a few supplements? Now that you’re a gym bunny, you’d probably like the ones that I have. Half an hour before a workout I have D-Fine 8 which not only gives you an energy buzz, but as it has cactus leaf extract it’s an appetite suppressant as well. Through the workout and after I drink Xtend which helps replace electrolytes and aids recovery. Just a thought anyway! Email me if you want some more info xx
Oh. Such a shame! Haha.
Thanks for the recommendation, I’ll have a chat to the dude at my gym about them. If I have more questions that I want someone with real experience with the products I’ll let you know. You’re the best. xo
Anytime lovely! xx
I hope what I said didn’t make you doubt yourself. I was trying to be motivational, body image can really get you down. When I would focus on how I looked whilst dieting I would ‘cave’ eat one cookie and then think wahhh I’ve broken anyway I’ll just eat the whole packet. I’m not kidding I’ve been guilty of replacing packets of cookies to hide the fact that I ate the entire packet from my husband. But now that my health is my priority I have that cookie and realise that is not going to harm my health, a packet will, but one cookie is okay and I continue to feel good about myself. I still don’t buy cookies though, it’s almost impossible for me to stop at one.
You are a beautiful girl. You don’t need to focus on your size, you rock those curves.
Sorry if I sound like I’m pimping myself too but this week I’ve decided to start blogging about my weight loss achievements, which is inspired by you actually. I’ve decided to be proud of my achievements instead of embarrassed at my weight and my poor health in the past. My blog is LittleOliverJ.blogspot.com.au. I haven’t published any yet because I get dry mouth at the thought of it. Not my followers reading, more so about my friends and family back home who always thought I was naturally large. I wasn’t, I ate all the things.
Keep on keeping on babe. It’s not about the numbers on the scale, although I know it’s hard not seeing results. It’s about giving yourself the best quality of life.
Update: I finally hit publish. Eeep.
Oh no, you didn’t Cassandra. It was more a case of my motivation had waned and your words made me wonder why all that I had achieved wasn’t enough and all that. I appreciate it. It gave me the space to take a closer look, if you know what I mean? We are all guilty of some behaviour like this. I think it can be a huge warning flag that something is not right, even if your weight or health aren’t suffering yet. Something is.
Thank you. Lots. I do my best to work what I’ve got. Always. 😉
I can’t wait to check out your blog, especially now you’ve written on it! Thank you. I look forward to my new focus showing up as results sooner rather than later. Quality of life really is important.
Hi, its great to hear about people who are wanting to become healthier and loose weight for the right reasons. I am also on a weight loss/getting healthier journey and sometimes it is very slow going although i have lost 12 kgs in 4 months and still loosing. Through research I found that cutting food back vs gym works better but I still gym 4-5 days a week and have definitely noticed great things for it! I recover from being breathless a lot faster and do not get as tired as easy nor do I feel as wobbly, arms and legs are massively toned compared to my before pictures. Also do you measure yourself? You might find that as extra motivation! Remember that every body is different and we loose weight/fat/muscle in different ways. Have you heard of MyFitnessPal the free calorie counting app. It makes calorie tracking a breeze and gives you perspective over what you are putting into your body. (this may not be the issue with you however) Good luck and remember any progress (even state of mind) is good progress! xo
Great, consistent effort Ezmae, congratulations. I know what it takes to maintain your focus for that long. Great addition to the conversation, thank you so much. Come on back any time. 😉
Dont be hard on yourself. A five kilo weight loss is a good achievement. You should be proud of the discipline you’ve shown by sticking to a regular routine and pushing yourself. I’ve recently given up the gym and I think I’ve located the 5 kgs you’ve lost. They have taken up residence on my thighs.
Thank you. I’ve spent some time over night and today sitting with this and you’re right of course. Back to the gym lady. That’s not my 5kg. I never really had thighs. 😛