I heard it explained once during a funeral service that only those who experience love ever have cause to mourn. That they are the blessed ones. The luckiest of people. I scoffed at the stupidity of it as I sniffled into a tissue. Fortunate to mourn. Pah. Loved and lost. Pffft. But the idea stayed with me over the following weeks and now as my family suffers the loss of one of my much loved cousins in a tragic accident it arises again.

We are the fortunate one’s, those of us that love enough to know the genuine pain of mourning. Today we ache and hurt with the pain of our loss. But we are comforted by the memories we share and by the proximity of those that we continue to hold close. We are comforted by the knowing that he knew how much he was loved while he was here. Do you do that enough? Let those around you know how much they are loved?

And for me, I have the comfort of writing, as I prepare a few words on behalf of his cousins. I am pondering, preparing, planning and crying. I think today I get our loss, as yesterday it seemed a surreal dream to wake in to. And as I write here I hope that my family will understand my need to share this private experience here. I hope that will see that this is a lesson. A pearl of wisdom too heartbreakingly real not to share.

A lesson learned through suffering and one you cannot truly fathom until you have felt the pain of loss. I know there are plenty of you out there who wear that badge. Those of you who really get it. You are marked with the sign of love and of mourning. So with a heart filled with love and sadness all at the one time I’m signing off.

Love. Love Big.

27/05/2011 – 11pm – Rewinding at the Fibro because in less than 12 hours we bury my Uncle. One of my Dad’s little brothers. Another too young. Too soon. A timely reminder.

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