You wrecked ’em, I squealed as hubby kisses my face rubbing his nose on the glass of my sunglasses leaving smudges. I realise that actually that sounds a lot like you rectum and I laugh. And that’s about how my day at the beach with hubby went. We laughed a lot. Lazed around. I drank wine from a Tupperware plastic cup filled we ice. Life is good.
I think sometimes about parallel universe us. The version that could have a child who was almost four years old. I wonder about those people and what they are doing on that same sunny Friday afternoon. Are they at the beach? Did they brazenly go on to have a second or even third child by now, never knowing the pain of miscarriage and loss?
Are they smug jerks?
Maybe.
Probably.
As I glance up I see the bluest sky and ocean. I see the man I love, who up until today has been running a one man festive season ploy to push me over the edge, and I wonder who he would be now. Would he love me this much? What would life look like to him. I know without having to wonder that his life’s dreams would be fulfilled. His dream is family. 2.5 kids and a dog. I don’t think about that for long.
Instead I reach over, taking a long and satisfying swig from the water bottle and watch him sing loudly to the music emanating from his phone. It changes to a fast dance song by some unknown pop star and without missing a beat he switches to falsetto and joins the chorus. It reminds me not be sad, angry or disappointed, the life we have now is pretty darn awesome.
I wonder what parallel universe us would say about it all. I bet they are a teeny tiny bit jealous, just quietly. But I guess I’ll never know until I am them. I’ll keep you posted. I think too often I consider what life could have, should have been and I am disappointed. It never pays to look back, right? Or too far forward. There’s nothing there for you.
So I do that, get a little too much sun and I leave that parallel universe to do its thing.
Hi! I’m Melissa Walker Horn. Around here, they call me Suger. I’m the Chief Blogger and doer of all the things here at Suger Coat It. Blogging since 1901; I love a casual ootd, taking photos, and writing about things that irk or inspire me. I love wine and cheese, long days at the beach and spending time with my family. I make stuff for the internet over at Chalkboard Digital. You know, living the sweet life.
They would be jealous and you know how I know? Because Guv is the only one at his work [bar a single 50+ yr old bloke who’s never been married] who doesn’t have kids and every single one of his workmates [they range in age from mid 20’s up to late 50’s] have mentioned at some point or another, how jealous they are of his freedom, our freedom. To just decide one Friday to do a 500km round trip for lunch [yup do it regularly lol] etc etc
BUT
I think about that parallel universe too, not too often though because it does hurt but mainly because the current us is pretty darn awesome xo
I do love the freedom. The ability to just do whatever, whenever. I relish it so much. I think that could easily be the hardest thing to give up when you had kids. The need to plot and plan everything like some sort of precise mission… Not fun at all.
YES! Guv and I have even had the discussion of whether or not it’s truly passed us by, that we’ve just been “us” too long, stuck in our ways, relish our freedom too much and we question if a baby would so easily slot into our lives now it’s been 14 years of “us”?
Makes it wonder, right? Everytime Kel mentions the hustle and bustle, the general rowdiness of family dinners and gatherings etc I wonder…
I was wondering the other day what parallel universe me would be doing at this moment. Similar to yours in thinking about what if we never had the miscarriage and stuff. It never pays to think of these things but sometimes we can’t help it :/
All the best to you and your hubby xx 🙂
Thank you Sarah. Sometimes you can’t help it, I totally agree with that. Big love to you for a magical 2014. x
Oh Suger how this made me cry! To every parent a day like that, a love like that, sounds heavenly. But I know that to you both days driven mad by your children sound just as heavenly. I couldn’t wish for anything more for you both xx
Thank you Pink. xo
I love your candid honesty – after this Christmas with my 5 children ranging from 26 to 15 – I’m selfishly wishing for a moment in your universe – just saying!
Thank you Alicia. Haha. Getting some peace and quiet is on your list, huh? 😉