I know I am supposed to be ashamed, or at least a little embarrassed about my body, but I’m not. That’s the word one the street. Being fat means you’re lazy, slow, stupid {what the?} so I should be ashamed. But I’m none of those things. I’m fat, that’s all. Right now my body is what it is and isn’t what it isn’t. I wanted to make that very clear as I don’t want to contribute to any the only way for fat people to be happy is to lose weight thing that exists out there.

And just FYI, even at my fittest and smallest in my life {not healthiest but that’s another story} people still called me fat. I was still the height I am now, I still had size 11 feet and I still wore a solid 14-16. In their eyes, I was fat. They were wrong, but that doesn’t matter now. There’s a long way between here and there. A big wide gap of fatness. A scale of fatness, if that makes sense.

I think body love goes a long way to success in this sort of endeavour. I am proud of what I have so far from my efforts at the gym, proud of my body for adapting and changing along the way to accommodate what, for me, is a psychological issue. I’m proud it hung in there while I did what I did.ย And now it’s time to show it the love. Eat whole, clean foods, exercise and take a few more deep breaths outside. Will being thinner make me a better person? Doubtful. Will it make me anything other than smaller? No, I don’t think so.

The one thing that will happen is I’ll lose weight. I won’t be smarter, nicer or more loveable. I’ll just be thinner.

That is all.

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