You read the title, right? Well, the worst offender in my books HAS to be I get compliments every time I wear them. It’s the most meh term of fashion blogging/writing/sales that I can think of. Whether it be a passing comment or actual description, it’s so meaningless it leaves me wondering what the heck you were getting dressed for. Or perhaps more accurately WHO the heck you were getting dressed for.

It shows up a lot in ad copy for different items of clothing. Today, and the cause for this rant, I saw an ad on Twitter for white jeans. No real call out to construction or style or fit, just that they were white and that ‘they’, however they are, always get loads of compliments when wearing them. GASP. White jeans!? But that never happens. Right?

Think about it. And sure, maybe I’ve thought about it too much. But the language implies that they are GOOD because someone, or lots of someones, said so. Not because you chose them and loved them, but because THEY decided it was so. It’s gross in the gives you the willies kind of way.

Or is it just me?

I think if you love something you should wear it. Who cares what other people think or if they approve of your choices. I want YOU to approve of your choices. The practice of trusting yourself with the decisions and course of your own life start small and grow from there.

Today it’s looking for others to choose your jeans. Allowing them to dictate your tastes and ideas to tell you what is good or bad, right or wrong. Then tomorrow it’s the big things. You’ll let them decide if you want kids, or what sort of job you have, or how you choose to spend your time.

But it’s not up to them. Stop letting them decide.

If there is one thing I hope you get from this blog or any of the socials related to it, it’s that you are the boss of your own life. Captain of your ship; to draw on the old phrase. You don’t need stuff or things, people or places to make you who you are. You just need to know yourself, trust that knowing, and go for it.

I try to lead by example with this, but I find it hard to not want the validation, but it doesn’t serve us. And as the eldest child, a people pleaser from birth, I find it hard not to defer to others opinions of me or my choices. But with practice, it has become more comfortable. It doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt to be rejected or disapproved of, because it does.

It means freely making choices is more important than those temporary hurts.

Choosing jeans is the least of your problems, you’re here to figure yourself out and live a life you love. Bigger fish to fry, as they say! Time to stop handing over the reins to someone else and get on to it, don’t you think?

Melissa Walker Horn

Hi! I’m Melissa Walker Horn. Around here, they call me Suger. I’m the Chief Blogger and doer of all the things here at Suger Coat It. Blogging since 1901; I love a casual ootd, taking photos, and writing about things that irk or inspire me. I love wine and cheese, long days at the beach and spending time with my family. I make stuff for the internet over at Chalkboard Digital. You know, living the sweet life.