Blogging, I just don’t know how to do it any different. Me, I just don’t know how to be any different. Simple as that. Last night I was taking a look at some analytics and stats stuff. I was updating my media kit and revising some rates, blah blah. I noticed that since November last year this blog as sort of hovered around the same level. The quote about things that are standing still are actually going backwards ran through my mind. I considered lots of things in my over-thinker brain. My blog, perhaps, is on the slow path to dying. Slipping backwards by the very nature of not moving forward. And it’ll be one of those slow, painful type of deaths. Just you wait and see. One of those awkward theatrical deaths performed only by the very worst of actors in theatre sports type games. A blog, after all, reflects the blog owner. Then in a moment of calm, brought to me by a small reminder from the universe I realised, I don’t know how to be any different, so I don’t care.
That moment looked a little like this.
A young woman I know was apologising for a raft of things about herself. My old lady instinct kicked in and I told her there are plenty of things that you can apologise for in this life, but being yourself isn’t one of them. NEVER apologise for being yourself, I said. For hurt feelings and misunderstanding, sure. But not for who you are. My poor little heart beat faster for this teenage girl. I wanted to reach through and hug her. Shake her a little until she knew. Save her the years of journeying and struggle. Just be yourself, the true you. Do it now. Don’t wait. Just dig deep and muster all the courage you have and be yourself. Whoever that is right now, for as long as that lasts and that takes courage. In high school it takes all kinds of courage and I speak of high school with my most recent experience being over 12 years ago.
It was a timely reminder for me.
I don’t know how to be me any differently.
I don’t know how to blog any differently.
And I won’t try. Not now that I’m finally here.
Not now that I know who I am.