So it turns out I have moved on from cranky to a hormonal grouchy. At least this explains a lot. The whole the sky is falling feeling of last week is lifting and I’m feeling more myself. Laughing more. Less weighed down. What a relief. I haven’t suffered a major bout of depression in almost 10 years. I worried, silently for the last couple of weeks that I wasn’t going to escape another. That I was watching a coming soon preview of the way life would be for a while. It’s a relief to be relived of that pressure.
It’s a reminder that not everyone is so lucky.
It reminds me that some live with that pressure, the weight, every day.
It reminds me that once I did too.
It reminds me not to take the clear days for granted.
It’s late. I missed RUOK Day. I wasn’t ok. I was hiding out.
Today I am okay. Better than okay.
Grouchy but okay.
Tired but okay.
Loved and cherish and blessed and okay.
Today I can ask you.
Are you ok?
Hi! I’m Melissa Walker Horn. Around here, they call me Suger. I’m the Chief Blogger and doer of all the things here at Suger Coat It. Blogging since 1901; I love a casual ootd, taking photos, and writing about things that irk or inspire me. I love wine and cheese, long days at the beach and spending time with my family. I make stuff for the internet over at Chalkboard Digital. You know, living the sweet life.
It’s weird, this is kinda how I’ve been the last few weeks. Struggling to find the good and feeling weighed down by the bad. It’s part of why the blog has been so quite lately. Struggling to find the motivation or enthusiasm to write. But just like you, I seem to have come out of my funk. I’m glad we are both ok now 🙂 xx
Me too. I’ve had my head up my ass I haven’t even been to all the blogs I love. A sure fire sign that all is not well. I’m glad you’re back. I’m glad it’s the other side. I’m glad you’re ok. xo
I will be ok. Life is throwing a few lemons at the moment (cat died, lost my job – thanks September!) but I’m trying to find the tequila & salt. Cat was 14 and rescued at 3wks old so while she is sorely missed, she had a good life and a better one than she would have had I not insisted the school janitor bust her out of the downpipe she was stuck in + on the job front I’m going to use the time to a) look for something else but b) try and do a bit of freelance/consultancy which is something I’ve always wanted to do but never had the time.
I’m sorry to hear of your cat. It’s hard to lose something you’ve cared about for so long. Same with the job. It can be a bit of a ripping when you finish at a job. It shifts things. Do the consulting thing. Really. think of it as the window opening. I bet that’s where you were meant to be the whole time.
I love this post…thank you for being so open on your blog. I am having a biting my lip day dealing with someone who has always made me feel terrible about myself. (Have worn my awesome pink blazer though and keep thinking…say what you want…I look awesome today..lol)
Thank you Gayel. You’re welcome. You wear that blazer and hold your head up high. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. {Eleanor Roosevelt said that} Don’t give them the power. xo
Oh Suger Yes Thank You I’m very much OK 🙂
You reminded me of the many years when I wasn’t OK. I’m a survivor, It was a long hard road … jam packed with stories. In my heart I reckon you’ll be telling similar stories to me one day.
Loving Your … Loved and cherished and blessed and okay … Me too ♥
I’m glad. Thank you Cherie. xo
Glad ur better than OK. I’m going OK this week, last week was a bit off, thank you for asking x
I am. And you’re welcome. Glad to hear you came through too. xo
Im having a sky is falling week! Praying its over in a week like yours! xx
I’m sure it will be. Light at the end of the tunnel, hun, light at the end of the tunnel.
Nope.
Anything I can do? You tell me. And consider it done. xo
thanks love. I’ll send you a spread sheet and an action plan 🙂 Combination of crap outside influences and crap inner monologue combining to create CRAP feelings… Nothing to be done but suck. it. up. x x
I’ll await the email.
OR.
How about I just think lovely, warm squishy thoughts for you. Send them over and hope they help?
Big love xo