Who doesn’t love compliments, right!? I do. I love when people compliment my style, my blog and me. All good. I love it. I joke often with wailing, needy tones to those who love me “love me, praise and validate meeeee”. And I’m only half kidding. Compliments make me happy and I try to give them as often as I receive. Keep the world spinning and all that.
But what if I told you that you needed to give them up? Cold turkey stop believing them. Hmmmm? Then what?
Stay with me for a moment. When it comes to compliments forming part of our self-worth you need to give them up. Compliments are lovely, I said that right, but you can’t let them be what makes you value who you are. I think we need to take our focus away from what other people think, valuing their own praise above out own, before we can truly learn to be comfortable in our own skin. I get compliments when I wear this, my partner loves that, and the people at work are falling all over me about this.
Well that’s great. Dandy. But how do YOU feel?
If you had walked out the door this morning and felt great but no one said anything about your fabulousness would you still feel great in the afternoon? Well would you? If not, if you began to question whether this was a good outfit choice, nice make-up or hair then you are on shaky ground indeed. Shaky because this makes other people’s approval more important than your own. And honey you are never going to make everyone happy!
Like Dita says, you can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world but there’s still going to be someone doesn’t like peaches. Right!? So why take the risk with your confidence and how you feel about yourself by leaving it up to someone else. Decide now that while compliments are great (awesome in fact!) you are the only person whose opinion matters. The only one.
Accept compliments them graciously. Smile and say thank you for goodness sake. Give them liberally. Shower those you love, strangers in the street and especially the children in your life with genuine and diverse compliments. But whatever you do, whatever happens, remember one thing, YOU are what matters to you. Your opinion is the only one that REALLY matters. The rest is just cream on the sundae.