Sometimes bloggers are a little too quick to buy their own press. You know the whole gussied up about page screaming our excellence to the world and we believe it type thing. We ARE important. The new media, that’s us, leading the charge. And I’m here to tell you it is a bad idea. I’m guilty of it myself. I work hard to fill my blog with content that is interesting and useful so I’m proud of that. But sometimes when things get a little #Blogebrity (Freya’s term for a blog celebrity) well it’s easy to believe your own press and let your head expand until doorways pose a challenge.
Unless you have friends like mine. HA.
Liv is the one who loves to remind me that I’m just a jerk with a keyboard. All bloggers are. That sure it takes work and effort to do what we do, but we are just people who like having our place of internet. Behind the scenes, it very much looks like folks sitting around with a laptop on their laps, messy hair, wearing track pants. Sure there are exceptions (hello the troupe from Fashion Bloggers) but most bloggers are normal people with real lives and for a large chunk of us, day jobs. And for us believing your own press is dangerous.
Believing your own press as a blogger leads to you, in my experience, feeling entitled and competitive. It’s ick and you have to find a balance between that and having the confidence to ask for what you deserve. A good start is to stop wondering where your share of the pie is, why others were chosen and taking things for granted.
No one owes you anything, no matter how good your blog is.
Set fair and reasonable prices and terms and be done with it. Always say please and thank you. Be gracious if a brand tells you that it’s not going to work for them or it’s not a good fit. Give them the benefit of knowing what works for them, just as you determine what works for you. Thank them and ask them to keep you in mind. Be nice to people. Reply to their messages and emails. Talk to them when they talk to you. Say thank you to them and mean it. And last but not least…
Keep your big fat head in check, you’re just a jerk with a keyboard.
Last week I was asked (not for the first time mind you) why I started to blog about plus size fashion. Why when my blog was already a few years old did I decide to blog about my personal style and fashion choices? Why change a somewhat winning formula? And being a blogger, if more than one person has asked the question, it’s time to answer it. Hello, blog post content! Here we go.
Why did I start to blog about plus size fashion?
It first started as an idea from my sister; she was always encouraging when it came to blogging about fashion and style. You could do that, she said while looking at Facebook one day. She was right. Maybe I could. I’ve always enjoyed putting together outfits and hated the limited choices for plus size women in Australia. Perhaps it was a part of me I could share and enjoy doing it.
I asked the bloggers around me, and they said to go for it. Before I knew it, I had my very first outfit post, an awkward shoot in my backyard that I credit Danielle from danimezza.com for giving me the final push to do. A delicate shove into outfit and personal style blogging. I started to blog about fashion and style because I enjoyed it. Loved the challenge of creating outfits that I loved and talking about why I wore them or why. Bit by bit, I eased more outfits onto my blog. Then I just went for it. All in. I posted outfit photos two or three times a week.
I was a plus-size blogger. Ta-dah.
From that moment when I decided to bite the bullet and to blog about my personal style, I’ve never felt better. I found freedom in blogging my outfits. It was a challenge, at first, one it took some guts to get over. What would people think about me, my body, my style and my choices? Would they like me? Would I be able to deal if they didn’t? That had been the final thing holding me back. I decided when I posted that post to let it go.
After I did that, after I let the worries and fears go, I got brave. I was brave when it came to my style choices, bold about what I shared and my opinions. I said things and was unafraid to stand behind them. My self-confidence soared. I saw the strength and power in myself and took the time to nurture that. I learnt to appreciate and admire my body, to care for it in kinder ways and challenge it to do more than I’d ever expected to be possible. I was more sympathetic to myself, and it showed.
When I looked at my face, I no longer saw a nose that was too big or my uneven eyes, one squintier than the other. They were still there, but I no longer focused on the individual parts. I became so familiar with my face and body that I didn’t see them as separate pieces to be analysed anymore, they were a whole. They were me, and I was them, and I couldn’t bring myself to hate them. I found generosity for myself and in that mental health like nothing I’d known in my lifetime.
I was surprised that all of this came from taking photos of the clothes I wore.
Then it spread to the people around me, the women in particular, but to all the people around me. It was such a force that they felt a change within themselves. They cared a little more about their body and became a little less critical. Together we found other things to talk about than the small things that bugged us. We became brave in our choices and supported each other to go to the next level. It’s remarkable to think that came about because of a blog.
There you go, the reasons why I started to blog about plus size fashion is very different from why I continue to do it. I continue so I can inspire myself and others to be excited by style; to dress to impress themselves and enjoy the process. I blog to share the confidence I’ve found along the way. To challenge the ideas that society has about women and in particular large women, fat women, the ones who don’t fit the mould. I see fashion as a vehicle for all that now. When once I would have been afraid to be considered trivial, shallow even, I look to all I’ve achieved via this blog, and I know it’s not that. It was never that.
It was about finding myself and not being afraid to be that person.
You’ve left it all a little late, have you? So you haven’t packed let alone tackled the conference schedule. Welcome to the club, my friend. With the ProBlogger Conference coming up on the Gold Coast, this post occurred to me as a good idea. I am so poorly prepared that winging it sounds like an actual plan. So what do you do to go from conference zero to conference hero as the sand slips through the hourglass on the time you’ve got left?
THIS. That’s what. You’re welcome.
1. Know the lay of the land
The first thing I do when I realise that I’ve left my run a little late for conference prep is to get a feel for the venue, the location, what transport I’ll need, what other options there are and if there’s a convenience store nearby. It puts my little mind at ease to know where I’m going and how I’m getting there. Know thy venue folks, after all once you’re there, the hard part is over.
2. Know who’s going
You don’t want to be so nervous about not knowing anyone or anything that it cramps your style, so in your spare minutes get on to the attendee list (ProBlogger has a Facebook group and Twitter list to get you started) and read up on the folks going. Sure you won’t get all the way through, and you may not even remember the people you do look up, but you never know where you might find a friendly face.
3. Know what YOUR conference goal is
Heading to a conference is all well and good but do you have any idea WHY you’re going? What do you hope to get out of it? Even if you don’t have a single minute to prepare anything else related to the schedule you need to know this. Knowing your goal will give you your reason for being there and will make those other decisions easier to make.
Want to produce an eBook and sell a billion copies? Well, you’re going to need the streams on that. Want to build a community of awesome folks? Head that way and network your butt off. Want to have fun, eat Stingray bar wedges and drink jar margaritas? Me too, let’s get together. Get clear on why you’re going and trust me, the rest will become really clear, really fast.
4. Know you have clean clothes
You might not have packed yet, but it’s time to get your clothes through the wash so you know for sure you have clean socks, jocks and other such necessities. I’m the queen of the last-minute pack, but there’s no way you can pull that off if half your favourite clothes are in the washing pile. If you do anything today to advance your conference position make it putting a load through the wash. Or you could just buy all new clothes there, I suppose. That could work too.
5. Know that you’ve got time
Chill out folks. Most of the conference preparation stuff while lovely in the grand scheme of things isn’t essential. Most bloggers run their blog in something resembling spare time, so don’t be too hard on yourself. The schedule can be checked on route, your dinner plans can be made on the day, and new friends can be made via the hashtag. Take the foot off the ‘you’re so crap at life’ pedal and ease up on yourself. There’s still time to get stuff done, promise.
Good luck folks! Hold your nerve, get excited and let’s do this thing. I look forward to meeting some of you folks there and catching up with a few friends along the way there and back. This is the third time I’ve attended the ProBlogger conference and my fifth blogging conference since opening wide the doors of this blog almost 5 years ago. The people are my favourite part. Bloggers really are the coolest folks.
And what’s my REAL conference goal? Well, even though, the wedges and jar margaritas one sounds pretty darn good. It’s to streamline the products (like the eBooks and maybe an eCourse) process and to find a way to spread the Confident You message wider, faster. Ready? LET’S GO.
My blog is five years old this October. I think we need to have a party. Don’t you? Remind me to organise something, if you would. This time of reflection had me thinking about what I’ve learnt. About blogs and business and blogs as a business. Blog business. And since I was pondering, and you guys like blogging related posts, I thought I’d share what I came up with.
If you’re running a small business, they will work for you too even though they are blog business-specific. We are going to talk about business, how to cope when things get too much and some tips for diversifying income. Want more? Read on.
1. When your blog becomes your business, you might not like it that much any more.
Not liking your blog any more happened to me. You heard all about it when I shared about the death of my blog. I read somewhere that a large percentage of small business owners enter the business they are in because they have a love for it or do it well. This won’t be enough. It will get you started, but it won’t keep the fires burning for long.
Your blog was all sunshine, lollipops and rainbows, right? You are frolicking in a meadow of awesome. Then you have to answer emails, negotiate prices, contracts and timelines. Suddenly, a customer or client is a jerk, or business gets slow, or you have to hustle in a way you’ve never had to hustle before. It feels like work {because it is}.
And with the effort, failures and setbacks appear this thing called resentment. Good old resentment followed closely by his friend obligation and close relative sucking at time management. That will be the time you might not like your blog very much any more.
Don’t be afraid to make changes so that you feel good again. Remind yourself that having your own business is challenging and requires something unique from you but that it is worth it. Don’t give up learning the things you need to learn to make the whole process easier. That will chip away at the resentment, and you’ll be back in that honeymoon phase before you know it.
2. Do business; Keep records, know your product and learn to sell.
The best fashion designer in the world may have to shut their doors if they can’t manage the business side of things. And they do, it’s in the headlines all the time. Managing your record-keeping, invoicing, and general business activities will become essential. The biggest blog out there might be entirely unsuccessful at turning it into a business.
If your blog is to become your business, aside from creating killer content, you need to treat it like a business. Set office hours and deadlines, keep your receipts, start a filing system {it could be as simple as a binder and a hole punch}, have standards for yourself and set goals that you want to deliver. You do business.
I assume by now that you know how to blog and that it’s all ticking over beautifully. It’s time to switch your self-education focus to learning about business. What makes a successful business, how to market yourself and your products and why it’s important to get over this idea that making money is somehow selfish and diminishing your ability to be you.
3. Not everyone is your friend to be your friend, know when to say enough is enough.
Unfortunately, in business, as well as in life, some people will ask more of you than it is okay for you to give. You need to know what your line in the sand is and hold firm on that. As a blogger, your inbox will start to fill with complimentary emails proclaiming opportunities for you to partner with this person or that brand.
Let me say this; you don’t owe any of those people anything. No matter how great their pitch is, how interested you may have been when all is said and done you don’t know them any more than your professional courtesy. And will you want to help them now and then, sure but always remember that no matter how nice you are, that’s not your problem.
4. Knowing what to charge is almost impossible.
For most bloggers and small businesses, knowing what to charge is difficult. Too high and you might lose business, too low and you’ll be super busy but not getting anywhere. So you have to find a middle ground.
I offer two sponsored post spots on this blog a month. I set a price starting from $550 per post for those posts, and while I’ve been told that’s high by people trying to secure those spots for free, I know it’s not. It’s what my time and reach are worth. There was a time when it was cheaper, and I had more posts to do—the same amount of work each time but less reward.
So I changed, and I became more selective, and I’m happy with the results. My advice for price setting is to do your research, find out what others are charging and then set a price you’re satisfied with. The good news is, you can always change your mind. Be aware though that once you ‘discount’ a price, it will be forever considered discounted. I still have one company that comes back to me time after time for a discounted rate. I’d caved once in the start and because the money was going to come in handy. They’ve used it as evidence ever since that I can and have done it for less. Don’t make this mistake. When it comes to money, some people are like elephants. They never forget.
5. Diversify your income or be prepared to suffer the financial big one.
The first stream of income I ever had from my blog was via advertising. It wasn’t much, but it covered the costs of hosting a blog, and some months would mean the blog was chipping in for the internet costs. But the thing no one tells you is that advertising fluctuates from month to month {especially in fashion-based niche} so one month your spots are full and the next, you could have half of them empty.
It’s terrible news for budgeting.
I took a look and employed some business savvy my parents had given me, and I diversified the ways I earn income from the blog. Ensuring there are several ways you make money on your blog is good practice whether we are talking $10, $100 or $100,000.
Diversified how? Well, I also sell ad space, consult to local businesses on their social media, freelance posts/articles, build blogs and websites and sell my eBook {soon to be books plural – yay}. It all makes up an income stream that I call ‘blog income’. It’s not anything to write home about compared to some, but it keeps this girl in internet and ankle boots, so that’s all that matters.
If your blog is your business, start to diversify the way it makes you money and give yourself some semblance of security of knowing that you if your ad sales drop you’ve still got other ways to pay the bills. Without diversification, you’re one of those all the eggs in the one basket kind of business owners. Make a change.
And that my friends are a few tips from the business side of blogging that I thought I’d share. I know for some of you, this post will mean nothing. You either don’t blog or have no intention of making money on your blog. Great. No problem at all; I’ll be back again tomorrow with an outfit post, and all will be right in the world. Promise.
Something happened behind the scenes of this very blog. Even though I was reasonably happy with the content, the results made me a little sad, scared and embarrassed. People assume that a blog like mine just grows and grows. Here’s the thing, it doesn’t. It hadn’t in a little while. What it had done was flat-lined. My interest was waning, and I just didn’t feel that excited about blogging.
I thought to myself; I think my blog is dying.
What do you do when you look at your blog, and you think, uh-oh, this is the end? The life support machine might need to be turned off. End of days and all that. What happens to a blogger when they no longer blog? All good questions, all questions I asked myself in the process of taking this blog from a decline in subscribers, daily readers and comments to the best it has even been.
In just over a month.
The first thing I acknowledged was that everything I knew about my blog was gone. Dead and buried. I was losing interest if the content level was dropping and people were leaving in droves. It was time to acknowledge that I had failed. Your aim was world domination, and you failed. The objective was to be at the top of the world, and you failed. And would you look at that, you survived.
I had to say goodbye to all the things that I was doing out of obligation; for my blog and the people who invested money advertising. From that moment of realisation, I stopped promoting a lot of stuff and pared-back my commitments in those areas. I’d always had guidelines for myself, but I reinforced my rule of being super picky. Which was a lot of no, let me tell you.
Don’t get me wrong; I don’t blame monetisation for killing my blog.
That was me; I did that. Somewhere along the line, I was trying to follow a formula for success. I was following a formula even I wasn’t inspired by. It was boring and a bit of a chore to blog; it took all my energy just to make it happen. That became my new rule if I felt like something was sucking the life out of me; I didn’t do it.
A lot of people talk the talk on that one, including me, but it was harder to do than anything. The tricky part of these things is that sometimes you don’t know that something is bleeding you dry until you know it. Seek advice from friends and family. Conversations will give you an insight into what you feel. Excited and animated by the prospect, it’s for you. Not?
Then maybe you should pass.
After I saw all that and I’d acknowledged that I’d failed and that I wasn’t inspired by my blog anymore what did I do to resuscitate it? First stop was an overhaul; I cleaned the house by taking my frustrations out on the billions of categories on this blog now languishing in the corner. I removed them, restructured them and felt more focused because of it. Next up, I tidied my sidebar and unsubscribed from more than one affiliate program. Then, I took some time and made it easy to find me and the content people were looking.
Finally, I gave the branding a little facelift, and I was ready.
That very night, at well after 2 am, I started reading posts about blogging. I logged into my Bloglovin account for the first time in goodness knows how long and began to read. I bought eBooks and flicked through online magazines in search of something that would pique my interest. I stopped writing for the sake of it, blogging because I thought I should. Who knows when that started, but it had taken over.
One day, I just felt like writing, so I did. I wrote about whatever it was that I felt like writing about. But when I did, I framed my thoughts, in a way, that appealed to readers on a personal level. How to do this, why I did that, things I learnt.
Not just a complaint about being made feel bad about my body, but a guide to loving your body now to share all I had learnt. I answered specific questions and took a genuine interest in the people who were connecting with me.
In the end, what happened was that I stopped.
I stopped talking, dictating, and I started listening—listening to myself, to you all and to what was happening around me. Then I wrote; I would sit awake at night and jot down notes for posts. I would clickety-clack the keyboard furiously as the ideas and thoughts tumbled out of my mind with the ferocity of a crashing wave. Something had changed; I was inspired by what was around me.
Inspired not to be more exciting or to draw people into this blog but because being inspired is what life is all about. And sharing your experience is what a blog like mine is all about. Sharing your successes and failures, helping others to walk the path they are walking with your support. Posts became not just about having something there to fill the space but about delivering something of value, sharing something of myself or recording a moment too great not to have recorded somewhere.
Finally, I asked for feedback, and I got it.
The most significant step after that was that I took it. Everything was open to feedback and criticism, from the newsletter to the Facebook page and my Instagram account. All things were considered, and I questioned everything I thought I knew before. This was so vital to the rebuilding of the blog. Ask someone you trust to give you feedback. Choose five or ten of them. Ask a reader who has been a part of your blog for a while and email them so they feel they can be honest.
You don’t know what you don’t know until you know. So ask.
Then it happened. Day after day, people started to return to this blog because it felt like home to them again. My home and theirs. They shared my posts for the first time in goodness knows how long. Comments were left. The community here, they did all that.
When I say they, I mean you wonderful, exciting, too smart for your own good, group of blog readers. You brought this blog back from the dead with your willingness to contribute to its community and me.
I’m excited to see where we go from here and what blogging has in store for me. And for you. For us. Don’t panic if your blog is dying; it might be time, and maybe you’re done. But if in your gut you know you’re a blogger then don’t give up. Just forget everything you know and start again.
That’s what I did, and I’ve never loved my blog more.
One of my old posts popped into my ‘related articles widget’ today while I was replying to some comments. A post titled Smile Though Your Heart Is Breaking and of course I had to click-through to see what THAT was about. It was about Christmas, our second childless Christmas {which feels like a billion years ago now} and the heartbreak of running to my car to cry my eyes out. About grief and how it hits you hard sometimes.
One of the comments said “I love how you write sometimes” and referred to the honest, gritty posts. I appreciate the kind words about my ability to share these things and it made me think that perhaps the other stuff, the other writings and rambling aren’t in the same category. Is that a bad thing?Maybe it is. In blog world. Maybe guts sell.
Guts on the page, that is, not guts over your jeans that’s a hard sell. Haha. Truuuuust me.
I feel exposed sometimes. I feel like sharing who I am really gives people the upper hand over me. That they feel the right to comment on and judge me because of what I choose to share. It reaches down into the recesses of who I am, who I hope to be and it strips it bare. I do it without thinking and then it’s out there and I question the desire that drove me to share such a thing. Where does that come from?
For me it comes from owning who I am. Sharing it with as many people as possible so that I hold the upper hand. Taking back control of who I say I am, who you see me as and acknowledging that sometimes I am ridiculous, crazy and dark. And that it is all okay. I hope to speak to that person out there who does/thinks the same thing and wishes their life away hoping for things to be different. That they weren’t that way.
Is it actually the exposure of our darkest moments, our human’ness that people are drawn to or is it those things that draw out the best of our abilities and make it something better to read. Something that reaches out to people and says ME TOO. Meeeee too. You are not alone, I do that too. I feel that too. We are connected in that moment and that makes us all feel together.
Which is it folks? A train wreck of guts on the page or a trigger to write bigger better things. Vote now.
Tis the season and most of us are running on empty. I know I sure as heck am. Empty means a little too much caffeine for me. A little too much time gazing wistfully at my air-conditioned bedroom longing for a nap. Today I’m buzzed. Today I have written the beginning of some of the best content I’ve ever written for this blog and that makes me happy.
I hadn’t really planned it. To move to more considered posts, but it sort of happened. I was hopped up on long blacks and tapping the keys like a mad woman. The new version of Steal Her Style looks killer. I’ve got one HECK of a New Year’s Eve what to wear guide coming. The Target Christmas Day what to wear guide is coming along nicely. I’ve drafted a post about green juices that is going to make my green friends out here VERY happy.
The funny part is I’m hitting my straps in a time that is notoriously bad for blog traffic. People are busy. Lots of people to see, places to go and all that. That’s not funny, I hear you say, we want your posts to be read by LOADS of people Suger. Gasp. What shall we do. Well my friends {you can probably feel the jitteriness, yes?} thank you for your concern. But I simply don’t care anymore.
Sure I’d love for these beautifully crafted and exciting blog posts {cough, so vain, cough} to go out in the world and be awesome that very moment. Of course. A blogger can dream, right? But the truth is one post does not this blog make. These posts will just be the most recent additions in a wealth of information I’ve stored here. They may not be this year’s best and brightest but they WILL get their time in the sun.
Good posts always do.
So if you’re out there and you are new to this blogging caper. Listen to your old Aunty Suger when I say. Write the good stuff, publish it and send it out there. Don’t worry so much about time of day, schedules and editorial calendars {I know, who AM I!?}. One day, if you share it around and continue to do your thing, it will have its day in the sun. One day that well written post of your might just be the one that goes viral, or scores you your dream job or advertiser. Then you and your blog will have its day in the sun.
You know what, I think I must say this here. Kelvin and I talked about it at length one night. It’s time to fess up that I had a little ‘thing’ for credit cards when we met. And that little thing had got me in some ‘big’ trouble. By the time we were looking to start a life together, I had almost $15,000 on credit and store cards and had applied for two more online. I thought to myself, why not? At the time, I had a house, was paying down a small mortgage, and always had some job. What’s a little credit card action going to hurt, right?
Wrong, short version.
When I met Kelvin, the super saver, I looked like a pretty good bet on paper. I owned my car; I had a house with at least $50,00 equity, and I was young with decent earning potential and a teeny bit of money in the bank. But that was a lie. Pretty soon, the cards started to back up on me. This one got maxed out; this other went into default and transferred the entire balance to 30% interest.
I started to sink below the weight of the repayments, and then my hours got cut. That $15,000 in credit started inching towards $20,000. I freaked out. Kel, new to the whole credit card situation also freaked out. Rightly so. Despite our plans, borrowing would be almost impossible with the cards hanging over my {our – now} head.
Credit lesson learned.
It took us over a year to pay that money back. Almost two. It took budgets and plans. It wasn’t easy. For me, it was like breaking an addiction. I quit smoking and sugar, and giving up my credit cards was harder. We followed a method commonly found on the internet, in books, and everywhere*.
First, we cut the cards up and stopped using them. Not a single cent more went on those cards. No question, we made the minimum monthly repayment on all cards every month. We transferred balances to low-interest cards with no fees where it makes sense. Then the real work started, and this is how we did it.
First, we took a $200 a week and put it on the card with the most significant interest rate/highest cost, weighing in penalties and all that. It can be any amount you like, we had good jobs by this stage, so we committed more. Every month that meant we were paying $800+ as well as the monthly repayment on that card every month. Things start to move pretty quickly when you can afford that sort of amount.
And soon it was paid down, and the account closed.
Then we took that $800 a month, as well as card one’s monthly repayment and put it on the next most problematic card. It would get paid down that little bit faster and the one after even faster until all the cards were cleared. Closing each account as we went soon, we were left with none. Thank goodness!
Kel now has a single card he used as leverage to open his business last year. A low-interest card made more sense than taking out a business or personal loan. That small card will be paid off this year. Credit isn’t a bad thing; as a real estate kid, I encourage people to borrow all the money for investment purposes.
But the thing you have to remember is that you can only call it an investment if it makes you more money at the end of the day {thanks, Rich Dad/Poor Dad}. And as much as I love my wardrobe, second-hand clothes are worth diddly squat.
So let me get to the guts of sharing all of this. Shall I?
When I show you great clothes, talk shoes and accessories, I want you to consider not buying them if you have to use credit. Consider a wardrobe challenge {shop your wardrobe, you’d be surprised what’s in there if you’re anything like me} or ANYTHING ELSE. Clothes swap, trade, borrow or save up for it. You know, old school. Haha.
I encourage you to start to pay those cards down. Sooner rather than later. Cut those cards up and stick them to your debit card. Only spend the money you have. I think you enjoy the purchases more when you do. Well, I know I do. Just give it a go, and try not to add any more to your account.
Will you accept my challenge? Are you already credit card free? How did YOU do it?
* My dudes, I am not a financial planner. I am not a professional debt consolidator or anything like that. I just slogged my guts out to pay some stinking cards off and wanted to make sure that I tell anyone possible NOT to use them. Like, ever. Also, no judgement if you have cards; there are people out there who maintain them responsibly and use them the way that they should be used {you know, like pay off the entire balance every month or only in emergencies and the balance is cleared soon after}. I’m not one of them.
