I was floating around the interwebs the other day checking out recipes and health and fitness type stuff. There were a lot of meme’s with slogans about not warring with food or your body. In my mind I could hear the little voice say, I’m not. All clear here. Which, let’s face it, always makes me suspicious. So I thought about it for a while, am I? Am I at war with food?
Of course I HAVE been. You have heard about it here. A lifetime of disordered eating, rules and diets. Food certainly was not my friend. I loved it and hated it at the same time. It was comfort and support when I felt I had none. It was the reason I hated my body. Food was at fault. Never the unreasonable expectations I put on it for happiness. Food is after all just fuel. But in whatever quantities I deemed it acceptable to partake, it was never right.
Clearly then, food was always wrong.
Wrong, wrong, wrong.
I WAS at war. I feel a lot more comfortable now with it in its rightful place. A battle crops up here and there to remind me to keep my focus. I see diet plans and I lost 20kg in 10 weeks type headlines plastered over magazines and I get ANGRY. Is there any wonder. Is it of great surprise to anyone that so many women are at war at any given time, with food, or bodies, each other. At war with ourselves!
Whole food, reasonable portions, moderation and listening to what your body needs, knowing how to read the signs. Sure I could have been skinnier by now. Faster even. Less time in the gym, more time studying every single thing I put into my mouth. But I want to live a peaceful life. One of harmony and lightness. I gave up fighting with other people and found inspiration in myself. It’s amazing what can happen when you stop pushing up against something.
I’m officially declaring the end of my personal war on food. So if you hear me going a little batty, feel free to mention this post. I’m doing this as a way to be grateful for what I have and to make the choices that are right for me. The end of good foods and bad foods. The end of pressure and guilt. The end of all of that. I don’t need the weight on my shoulders.
War over. Nobody won.