I sat here this morning. Earlier when I should have been working and sort of was but I was waiting for an upload to happen. And I was thinking about the swimwear post. About the things we build up in our head to be a big deal but really aren’t. Like HAVING to wear board shorts to cover our rear ends or like not wearing horizontal stripes. I answer questions all the time about them. Is it okay, what should I do and who should I trust?
Trust me.
Listen to me.
Are you ready? It’s not a big deal. Not. A. Big. Deal. At all. I know if feels like it is right now. Right now the idea of baring your knees or upper arms feels like the worse idea ever. Your stomach is clenched, you’re feeling a little warm just thinking about it… Not to mention that jerk in your head is going a little NUTS. But stop all that. Stop for a moment and consider that it’s not a big deal.
Maybe you’re nervous because you’ve judged another person’s outfit before and fear the same judgement. Well firstly, karma. Hello. Secondly, stop doing that. The fastest and easiest way to stop feeling like everyone is judging you is to stop judging other people. Stop critiquing them in your head and comparing them to your standards of appearance and dress. You’ll find that once you let this go that the fear looses its hold a little.
It’s like when you buy a red, zippy, little car and all of sudden the roads are filled with red, zippy, little cars. It’s an awareness thing. If your radar is set to judgement and criticism you should expect to hear more in your hear, see more and hear more. I don’t know why, apparently it’s a brain receptor thing. So stop being critical and watch the critical people disappear. And if they don’t disappear out of your life then maybe it’s time to give them a shove.
Because what you wear, how you wear it and when is not a big deal.
It’s not a big deal, in fact you probably don’t care when your sick.
When your child is in danger, what you’re wearing as you dash out the door wouldn’t be given a second thought.
It probably doesn’t even matter if were ducking to the shops to grab a gift for a friend in need.
Nope. It doesn’t matter. It’s certainly not a big deal. People are a big deal. Being generous, kind, loyal and loving is a big deal. But this isn’t. My point is that it never is. Not really. What you wear is the smallest of small things to give over your powerful brain space to. So if you like board-shorts wear them. Goodness knows HOW you deal with the chafe, but maybe that’s just me. If you like stripes, wear them. If you like shorts cut below you bum, leggings as pants, crop tops over 25 or any of those other social no-no’s then wear them.
Wear ALL the things. It’s really not a big deal.
Hi! I’m Suger; Chief Blogger at Suger Coat It. Blogging since 1901; love a casual ootd, taking photos + writing about things that irk or inspire me. I love wine and cheese, long days in the sun at the beach and spending time with my family. I make stuff for the internet. Which means I take photos, create content, write copy and devise social media plans for personal brands, small businesses and bloggers. You know, living the sweet life.
Great post. And so wise Melissa! I am actively working not to judge folk on the “leggings as pants” thing lately. I am trying to rewire my brain from “oh no!” to “she can wear whatever she likes”. Because it’s nicer. And I would like people not to judge me the same way for my fashion choices (I was going to write “crimes” there but that’s very Fashion Police and I don’t like that show any more).
Thank you Sarah. It take a while, I said this below but I’ll copy it here too because it SO applies… Someone once said to me that your mind will wander where it wanders, it’s where you choose to linger that matters. So don’t be too hard on yourself. Over time that will lessen as your mind learns to filter differently…. We’ll get there, you and me and everyone else, we just have to keep trying.
“The fastest and easiest way to stop feeling like everyone is judging you is to stop judging other people.” WORD. Spot on!
Uh huh. That’s my take on things.
This reminds me of something a psychologist said to me once. I told her I was terribly anxious when leaving the house because I was worried about people judging me and what they’re thinking about me. She said that most people are too busy thinking the same thing to think about others at all! Changed my life, haha.
I sometimes find myself critiquing others in my head and mentally slap myself when I do it.
I still get anxious, but much less than I used to, it’s an ongoing process 🙂
It’s a great method for dealing with anxiety and one I use myself. Practice makes perfect on this front, for sure.
And yes re: the mental slap, same here. Someone once said to me that your mind will wander where it wanders, it’s where you choose to linger that matters. So don’t be too hard on yourself. Over time that will lessen as your mind learns to filter differently.
i COMPLETELY agree and relate to this post!! i have friends who are all sizes who spend so much time worrying about their arm being jiggly and i love just wearing what makes me feel good and happy. you’re totally right – no one will remember a girl on the street wearing a shirt SLIGHTLY too tight or what have you… they may notice for a moment but that’s all it is. but a girl with a huge smile on her face, no matter what she’s wearing or what size she is – that will be remembered 🙂
Thank you Caroline. And yes! What you said. Absolutely.
Melissa you must be an old soul coz you are so wise!!!
Keep doing what you do chick!! Your awesome and like you said Karma. Hopefully all us readers will be able to give you some amazing advice and insight like you give us!
Thankyyou!!!!!
You’re SO welcome. Thank you Charlene. I am lucky to have had the opportunity to know and love some great people. What a head start in life THAT was. I learn something from the community of this blog every single day. About myself, about life and about what I want for myself. That’s easily the best thing about running a blog like this. The BEST thing.
Yes! This is perfect. And I liked Miss Pink’s comment about the voice being a self-centered bitch. That is exactly right. 🙂
Haha. Indeed. It SO has its head up it’s own butt. 😉
I couldn’t agree more!
It’s hard to shut that little voice inside of your head up, but honestly she is just a self centered bitch. No one cares more about how they look than you yourself. So do what makes you feel good, not what you think others will like.
Thanks lady! Absolutely. People rarely care what other people are wearing. And even if they notice, they rarely remember noticing. So why bother!?
HELLS TO THE YEAH. Preach sista!
Haha. Thanks Alexandra! I love your enthusiasm. 😀